09 · 04 · 2011

Wake the Fuck Up

Of course you have heard of the book, Go the Fuck to Sleep. I would like to suggest a follow up, inspired by my husband…

 

———————————

The dishes are washed, everything tidy in its place
The leftovers boxed up, my dear, and the counters wiped away
I’ve asked you six times, don’t make me say it again
Please, for the love of God
Just empty the fucking trash can.

———————————

You work hard and need your rest
I do know that and care
But you slept all night and napped three times
You’ve more than gotten your share
It’s time to awake and get on with the day
Wake the fuck up already, you hear me OK?

———————————

You’ve been flipping for an hour
But have yet to pick a show
Could you be more annoying?
The answer is no.
Surrender the remote, I’ll ask one last time
or I’m kicking you out, on your fucking behind.

———————————

The day is getting dim
Soon it will be night
I can’t see a thing, my love
You have to know I’m right
I’m not as tall as you so I need your larger height
Would it kill you to change that fucking hall light?

———————————

I know you feel sick but I do as well
My nose is stuffy too
and my throat sore as hell
Please stop complaining
It’s just a little cold
So shut up and cope
You’re not that fucking old

———————————

I love you so much
I value what you say
But now I’m trying to sleep
And you’re keeping me awake
For the last time, my sweet,
I just don’t give a crap.
Enough already, really
Just shut your fucking pie trap.

———————————

I’m laying in bed, desperately needing my rest
You’ve been sleeping for hours
Happily passed out on your chest,
How are you so loud, I really don’t know
But if you don’t fucking stop snoring,
You’re gonna have to go.

———————————

Is this too much to ask,
from the man I adore?
I really don’t get why I’m so easy to ignore.
Start listening to me, that’s all there is to it.
Oh, and the dog needs a walk
Just fucking do it.

———————————

{ 152 comments }

1 Stacy September 4, 2011 at 11:00 am

Ha! Love it. These thoughts and more have been running through my mind ever since going back to work after a year at home with my daughter.
Stacy recently posted..Weekend Reading

2 Amber September 4, 2011 at 11:02 am

AWESOME!!!!!!!

3 The Mommyologist September 4, 2011 at 11:02 am

FABULOUS.
The Mommyologist recently posted..Planes, Trains, and Hurricanes. And Shit in My Basement.

4 Greta Funk September 4, 2011 at 11:05 am

THIS IS MY HOUSE. Have you been spying on me?? Are we married to the same man??

So funny, and SO TRUE.
Greta Funk recently posted..Back to School Giveaway!

5 Chantelle September 4, 2011 at 11:11 am

This is my house too! Maybe all three of us are married to the same guy?

6 Kat (@kathym425) September 4, 2011 at 11:07 am

Love it!! Now who do you nominate to narrate this one? Somehow, I don’t see Samuel L. Jackson doing this one, LOL
Kat (@kathym425) recently posted..Cottage Life

7 Krista September 4, 2011 at 11:08 am

Meryl Streep!

8 Kelly September 4, 2011 at 11:36 am

I think i may go with Glenn Close on this one! :)
Kelly recently posted..Look Who’s Coming to (Bloggy) Dinner

9 Krista September 4, 2011 at 11:07 am

If I didn’t know you already were, I would tell you to write a fucking book. You are a gift!

10 Alicia @MommyDelicious September 4, 2011 at 11:08 am

Haha! So funny! Love it!
Alicia @MommyDelicious recently posted..The Break-Up: One Year Later

11 Stacey September 4, 2011 at 11:08 am

Fucking LOVE it.

12 lotsodramamama September 4, 2011 at 11:08 am

ROFL AWESOME!!!!!!! Thank you for this!!

13 Triplezmom September 4, 2011 at 11:13 am

This. Is. Awesome. You need an illustrator and a narrator. I’m thinking Eric Carle and Susan Sarandon.
Triplezmom recently posted..Feeling Like An Amateur

14 Denise September 4, 2011 at 11:13 am

That is awesome. Though my husband is more likely to dedicate it to me in our house. I end up with more sleep due to my migraines and he picks up the slack.
Denise recently posted..I used to love The Love Boat

15 Crystal @ PoM September 4, 2011 at 11:14 am

OH.MY.GAWD! That SO reminds me of my own hubby!
Crystal @ PoM recently posted..Childhood Memories ~ Her name was Hattie

16 Galit Breen September 4, 2011 at 11:15 am

Genius. XO
Galit Breen recently posted..Changes

17 Erika - In Erika's Kitchen September 4, 2011 at 11:15 am

I’m laughing so hard I’m crying.
Erika – In Erika’s Kitchen recently posted..Truffled chocolate truffles

18 Stephanie September 4, 2011 at 11:17 am

Ha! Ha! HA! I’m sharing this as soon as I can get to my laptop!

19 Echo September 4, 2011 at 11:18 am

Love love love it!!!! Sounds like you wrote this about my hubby too! lmfao
Echo recently posted..A work in progress continued

20 Ashlee September 4, 2011 at 11:18 am

This is getting printed and left in the bathroom so my husband will actually read it
Ashlee recently posted..It’s 5 o’clock somewhere

21 Natalie September 4, 2011 at 11:22 am

I love you. Seriously. I laughed so hard at this I stopped hiccuping (which I’ve been doing for an hour straight).

22 Elizabeth Flora Ross September 4, 2011 at 11:27 am

Brilliant! :)

23 Hatton September 4, 2011 at 11:33 am

Lol! Now you just need an illustrator, I think this could be a best selling bathroom book…

24 Hatton September 4, 2011 at 11:35 am

You just need to illustrate and you’ve got a best selling bathroom book! Lol!
Hatton recently posted..Pack ‘n play review: Graco great for traveling!

25 vanillasugarblog September 4, 2011 at 11:42 am

love it. so true and so want to put into practice.
vanillasugarblog recently posted..summer break

26 Evonne September 4, 2011 at 11:44 am

Love it!!!

http://julesoutloud.blogspot.com/2011/07/go-fuck-to-sleep-my-version.html

27 Amy Weisman September 4, 2011 at 11:47 am

It’s official (if you haven’t heard it before), you are brilliant. This should go in your book, definitely seek out illustrations!! This alone could be your best seller. Totally going to RT & post on FB.
Amy Weisman recently posted..The Birth of Joshua

28 Tracy September 4, 2011 at 11:49 am

Fabulous! I think you stole my husband!!

29 Jessica September 4, 2011 at 11:54 am

HAHAHAHAHAAHA!! BEST POST EVERRR! That is TOTALLY my husband! :)
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30 Just Jennifer September 4, 2011 at 12:02 pm

Oh it’s so good! Women everywhere would flock to buy this book!
Just Jennifer recently posted..Say Something Nice Saturday

31 mom-mom-mom September 4, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Holy crap — are we sister wives?
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32 Pam September 4, 2011 at 12:06 pm

Love it so much!!
Pam recently posted..Just F*cking Do It!

33 Andrea September 4, 2011 at 12:10 pm

AHHHAHahahahaha, we are married to the exact same man!

34 lynn @ Maven of Savin' September 4, 2011 at 12:23 pm

AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!!! And that is scarily my life – LOL!!
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35 Jeannie September 4, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Hahaha I fucking love it! Can I repost with credit?
Jeannie recently posted..iPhoneography

36 Scary Mommy September 4, 2011 at 3:23 pm

Go for it!

37 Jeannie September 4, 2011 at 3:26 pm

thanks!
Jeannie recently posted..Wake The Fuck Up

38 Mel Blackbird September 4, 2011 at 12:28 pm

OMG!!! I can’t believe this wasn’t written sooner!!! I love it! Let me know when it comes out in hardcover – because if he doesn’t get the hint by reading it, I’ll beat him with it!!

39 Life with Kaishon September 4, 2011 at 12:42 pm

Laughing so hard.
I want to print this and share it with my sweetie who has yet to change the freaking hall light.
Life with Kaishon recently posted.."A child has no trouble believing the unbelievable, nor does the genius or the madman. It’s only you and I, with our big brains and our tiny hearts, who doubt and overthink and hesitate." Steven Pressfield

40 Tora Munck September 4, 2011 at 1:07 pm

Oh my! that is so funny! And so true! Don’t have a husband any more, but boy! do I remember how it felt!

41 Courtney @ The Mommy Matters September 4, 2011 at 1:08 pm

This is hilarious. I think I’ll print it and stick it on my fridge.
Courtney @ The Mommy Matters recently posted..Spotlight Saturday

42 Headacheslayer September 4, 2011 at 1:13 pm

BRAVA!!!!!!! Pure brilliance!

GTFTS is…a gift from God. I have never laughed so hard as when I listen to Samuel L Jackson narrate that. Best book EVAH.
Headacheslayer recently posted..The Beginning of School: Mama Brag edition

43 OneMommysThoughts September 4, 2011 at 1:17 pm

FABULOUS!!! There have been so many times I have felt these exact words and heard them in my head before trying to politely ask my husband to do what need to be done. Thank you for the laugh!

44 Sammie Love September 4, 2011 at 1:19 pm

This is FANTASTIC!!!! Can I have permission to reprint for my girlfriend with your writers credit of course?

45 Scary Mommy September 4, 2011 at 3:22 pm

Of course!

46 Mary September 4, 2011 at 1:25 pm

OMG I LOVE IT!!!!!

47 Stacy September 4, 2011 at 1:28 pm

Fucking brilliant, I say!!

48 Devan @ Accustomed Chaos September 4, 2011 at 1:37 pm

bahaha. LOVE IT!
Devan @ Accustomed Chaos recently posted..Increased Prevalence of Celiac Disease in Women with Unexplained Infertility

49 Lynn from For Love or Funny September 4, 2011 at 1:41 pm

I can foresee that your poem will be read at MANY 50th wedding anniversary parties…
Lynn from For Love or Funny recently posted..My towel DOES NOT have a naked woman on it.

50 Janet September 4, 2011 at 2:00 pm

So, we all have the same life when it comes to husbands. How do we make it better or different? Are we really stuck like this?

Love it!

51 Scary Mommy September 4, 2011 at 3:21 pm

I fear that we are. At least we’re not alone, though, right?

52 Janet September 4, 2011 at 3:32 pm

Nope, obviously not alone.

53 Anthony from CharismaticKid September 4, 2011 at 2:14 pm

I can’t wait to get married, Jill.

Love, Anthony

54 Chelsie September 4, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Is it wrong that as I read that, the voice in my head sounded like the silky baritone of Jules Winnfield from Pulp Fiction?
Chelsie recently posted..Baked Creamy Chicken Taquitos

55 Kimberly September 4, 2011 at 2:29 pm

I love this. The snoring thing kept me up until almost 4:00 this morning… And he’s currently napping on the couch, but isn’t snoring at all. Explain that one.
Kimberly recently posted..Seven Links Challenge

56 Scary Mommy September 4, 2011 at 3:21 pm

That used to be Jeff, but now he snores anywhere, three seconds after falling asleep. It makes me CRAZY.

57 Chrissy MacCEO September 4, 2011 at 2:31 pm

HAHAHAH! Love it! Every husband need to read this! Maybe then they’d wake the fuck up! LOL!

58 Symanntha September 4, 2011 at 2:54 pm

I think this should be put into book form, or at least made into a really nice picture for an anniversary gift! Or a birthday gift. I will buy it!!!!!
Symanntha recently posted..Haiku # 13

59 Not Winning Mom of the Year September 4, 2011 at 3:29 pm

ohhh Scary Mommy, we are so the same… thank you for writing my thoughts down on paper.
Not Winning Mom of the Year recently posted..Five

60 Rachael September 4, 2011 at 4:14 pm

Love it! This is freaking awesome.
Rachael recently posted..Dear Baby

61 ptworkingmom September 4, 2011 at 4:33 pm

This is hysterical! I love it!!
ptworkingmom recently posted..Long Weekend is Welcome

62 anymommy September 4, 2011 at 5:18 pm

The perfect compliment to the sleep book. Love it. (Matt snores. It makes me murderous.)
anymommy recently posted..Diamonds in our eyes

63 Alicia September 4, 2011 at 5:29 pm

Love this!!! So funny!
Alicia recently posted..Being A Mother….

64 cindy@www.straddlingthegap.com September 4, 2011 at 5:36 pm

This was so funny – I was laughing and crying at the same time! My husband found it humorous too :D

65 Seran September 4, 2011 at 6:09 pm

This is brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

66 Alison@Mama Wants This September 4, 2011 at 7:05 pm

Could THIS be your book instead? Now you just need to find an illustrator (the children?) and you’re set!
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Scavenger Hunt Sunday #2

67 jacqui September 4, 2011 at 7:12 pm

So touching…I have tears in my eyes.
jacqui recently posted..Promises, Promises…

68 melissa September 4, 2011 at 7:38 pm

wow, you should be a greeting card writer. your sentiment is so spot on. i’m sending this to my husband. thank you.

69 Lindsey September 4, 2011 at 7:42 pm

I actually own a copy of Go The F To Sleep. And when you publish this, I will pick up a copy of it too.
Lindsey recently posted..Saturday Evening Blog Post: July/August 2011

70 Twenty Four At Heart September 4, 2011 at 7:50 pm

Now you just need to post a husband’s response too! : )

71 Lisa September 4, 2011 at 7:51 pm

Am snort laughing now … that’s awesome!!!
I wonder if you could get Noni Hazelhurst and Samuel L Jackson to read this aloud.

72 holly September 4, 2011 at 7:55 pm

You know my husband all too well. Are they all alike? It’s somewhat a relief.

73 Hopes@StayingAfloat! September 4, 2011 at 7:56 pm

This is perfection! Absolute PERFECTION!!

74 Katja of Skimbaco September 4, 2011 at 7:56 pm

Also sending this to my husband.
Katja of Skimbaco recently posted..The Real Babysitting 101

75 Natalie @ MamaTrack September 4, 2011 at 7:57 pm

Awesome. I love this. Especially the part about being sick. I mean, seriously, how can they be more sick than we are every single time?
Natalie @ MamaTrack recently posted..A Day at the Beach

76 Kelly September 4, 2011 at 7:58 pm

How do we go about nominating you for a Pulitzer?

77 Jennifer Probst September 4, 2011 at 7:58 pm

OK, here we go again – another post that is going to become a classic!!!!
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78 Amy September 4, 2011 at 8:21 pm

Ohhhhhh I love this. Am now going to share with everyone I know. :)
Amy recently posted..5 Ways to Break Bad Money Habits

79 Amy September 4, 2011 at 8:25 pm

Amazing.
Amy recently posted..Drink Machine Magic

80 Amy September 4, 2011 at 8:38 pm

you are brilliant! This is hilarious and spot on!

Oh, and its my second time visiting today…I needed to laugh, again!
Amy recently posted..Bird Without Wings: Tiger Time Tuesday

81 Kim September 4, 2011 at 9:01 pm

HILARIOUS!!! Better than the original!

82 Carolyn September 4, 2011 at 9:27 pm

I LOVE it! I’m emailing this to a ton of friends who can relate!
The garbage can full is my pet peeve, along with
long grass,
walking past a basket of clean clothes that need to be folded, things not put back,
and … I could go on and on :)
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83 megryansmom September 4, 2011 at 9:51 pm

Sheer fucking genius!
megryansmom recently posted..It’s Almost Halloween!

84 Julie {Angry Julie Monday} September 4, 2011 at 9:57 pm

I heart Jill!!
Julie {Angry Julie Monday} recently posted..I’m A Soccer Mom

85 Skye Diaz | motherhood, etc. September 4, 2011 at 10:28 pm

Jill, you are hilarious! Where do you come up with this stuff?! are you going to make a book of it too? :)
Skye Diaz | motherhood, etc. recently posted..do you know where your kids are?

86 Gigi September 4, 2011 at 10:33 pm

OMG, you have been reading my mind!

Every time I see him napping on the couch I have an insatiable urge to poke him with a large stick! And if I hear *one* more snore….well, I cannot be held responsible for what may happen then.
Gigi recently posted..It’s amazing what changes a year (or seven or eight) will bring…..

87 The Grouchy Mom September 4, 2011 at 10:35 pm

I loved it so much, I wrote a poem in response….

Now I have to find the original book – I never heard of it ’til today and now I’ve read about it on two blogs!
The Grouchy Mom recently posted..Wake The F*ck Up – A Response To Scary Mommy

88 Ricki September 4, 2011 at 10:36 pm

Pure genius!!!!!!!!!

89 Jen September 4, 2011 at 10:41 pm

Seriously? This might be the best thing I’ve ever read. Ever.

90 Yennifer Javier September 4, 2011 at 10:37 pm

Lol, too funny!

91 kat September 4, 2011 at 10:41 pm

this is just so hilariously true!

92 Rachel {at} Mommy Needs a Vacation September 4, 2011 at 11:05 pm

You are my fucking hero.
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93 Tonya September 4, 2011 at 11:07 pm

Love love love!!
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94 Lady Estrogen September 4, 2011 at 11:12 pm

Awesome!

I’m assuming this is the abbreviated version, because I’m seeing chapters here ;)
Lady Estrogen recently posted..Cock-A-Doodle…Purple

95 Practical Parenting September 4, 2011 at 11:18 pm

Nice work, my friend. Nice work :)
Practical Parenting recently posted..A Taste of Fall

96 Stephanie September 4, 2011 at 11:22 pm

Please forward a copy to my husband asap.
Stephanie recently posted..Captain M & M

97 Brittany at Mommy Words September 4, 2011 at 11:24 pm

Brilliant and spot on. Now I have a bedtime story to read to my husband.
Brittany at Mommy Words recently posted..Letting Go, Yet Holding Tight

98 Andrea September 4, 2011 at 11:28 pm

Bwahahaha! Love this, it is perfection!
Andrea recently posted..The Broken Road

99 JG September 5, 2011 at 12:12 am

You really got me with the hall light. My SOB husband just won’t do it. Weeks of asking…..the snoring rings true as well….ok all of it! Awesome job, Jill! Once again, you nailed it!
JG recently posted..Pass the placenta, please.

100 Beth September 5, 2011 at 1:13 am

That was fabulous! I was cracking up at the first stanza.
Beth recently posted..She KNOWS

101 Fiona September 5, 2011 at 3:07 am

This has made my day!

102 Gabrielle September 5, 2011 at 3:11 am

Are you kidding me? You’re a genius! I must print and post on my fridge. WTF, this needs to be posted around town for all man to see!! Awesome

103 Cheryl @ Coffee with Cheryl September 5, 2011 at 7:03 am

Absolutely awesome!!!
Cheryl @ Coffee with Cheryl recently posted..“What are you doing?”

104 Tinne from T and T September 5, 2011 at 7:11 am

I’m sooo emailing this to my husband!

105 lori Stefanac (Lola) September 5, 2011 at 7:57 am

So poignant and moving! (picture a single tear trickling down my cheek)
Thank you for sharing this emotional tour de force ;)
lori Stefanac (Lola) recently posted..Liar Liar, Hand on Fire

106 erin@mommyonthespot September 5, 2011 at 7:59 am

Sing it, sister!

107 Lee September 5, 2011 at 8:01 am

Pie trap! LOVE IT!
Lee recently posted..R U OK? Really?

108 Stephanie @ Figments of a Mom September 5, 2011 at 8:03 am

Love it!
Stephanie @ Figments of a Mom recently posted..After the Hurricane

109 Kim September 5, 2011 at 8:11 am

Love it!!
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110 Old School/New School Mom September 5, 2011 at 8:23 am

This is so right on! Awesome. You rock!
Old School/New School Mom recently posted..Sibling Rivalry

111 wendy @ mama one to three September 5, 2011 at 9:34 am

the best. You really are THAT good. Sharing with everyone.
wendy @ mama one to three recently posted..40 Is the New Breakdown

112 The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful September 5, 2011 at 10:06 am

Or perhaps you might be interested in my spin off, Go The Fuck Back To School… http://shannoncolleary.blogspot.com/2011/09/go-fk-back-to-school.html
The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful recently posted..I Know It’s Not Modern, But I’m In Love With My Husband

113 Nicki September 5, 2011 at 10:32 am

Hilarious!!!! I love it!
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114 Bridget September 5, 2011 at 11:45 am

I think I need to read this to my sleeping husband, right now!
Bridget recently posted..Body Image Issues

115 Sabrina September 5, 2011 at 2:24 pm

Brilliance

116 Julie September 5, 2011 at 2:27 pm

I’m gonna need to see some illustrations.
Julie recently posted..Monday Meals: Marie Callender’s, you can cook for me any time

117 Georgie September 5, 2011 at 2:30 pm

I love this so much I want to frame it and give it to my husband.

118 Optimistic Mom September 5, 2011 at 2:43 pm

How did you read my mind?? I have definitely been there…….
Optimistic Mom recently posted..Wives! FOOTBALL is POWER

119 Kelley September 5, 2011 at 3:15 pm

This was hilarious!!
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120 mommy23girls September 5, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Fantastic!

121 Heidi Blix September 5, 2011 at 3:44 pm

Love it!!!!!!!!!!

122 Sarah September 5, 2011 at 9:17 pm

I didn’t think it was possible to love you more, Jill. But yes, you just proved that it is :)

I <3 you!!

(BTW – its totally legit that I used the <3 now, since its in the dictionary).

123 lej September 5, 2011 at 9:38 pm

AMENNNNNNNNNNN!!
Such a relief to know that I am not alone!
Beautiful!

124 Tiaras & Tantrums September 6, 2011 at 1:14 am

holy hell – my husband would SNAP if I posted something like this!! BUT frankly – I LOVE IT!
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125 cindafuckingrella September 6, 2011 at 2:51 am

That is fucking beautiful! You are a poet.
cindafuckingrella recently posted..Dear Cinda: Pilates Or Not?

126 Kate September 6, 2011 at 7:38 am

I’m in love with this. Sending to my husband now!

127 Paula @ thewilyweez September 6, 2011 at 8:40 am

This is too funny!
Paula @ thewilyweez recently posted..F*ck You Fridays

128 Erin September 6, 2011 at 8:49 am

I only hate naps when the husband is taking one!!!!

129 Michelle Saunderson September 6, 2011 at 9:46 am

Too funny!!!!
Michelle Saunderson recently posted..So Frustrating That I Just Want to Scream

130 Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him September 6, 2011 at 10:21 am

This is award-winning. And an ode to most husbands.
Erin I’m Gonna Kill Him recently posted..Lee Stress-On Nails

131 NoDramaMomma September 6, 2011 at 10:54 am

LOL! Add just a few more “fucks” and you have a normal conversation with my husband.
NoDramaMomma recently posted..5 Reasons Parenting Doesn’t Suck

132 Elaine September 6, 2011 at 2:05 pm

You realize you should totally have published this, right? Every wife in American would buy a copy.

133 Amy September 8, 2011 at 12:18 pm

No, we definitely wouldn’t. Such garbage, it’s a shame an intelligent woman has nothing better to write about. Women wonder why their marriages are falling apart it’s because of this kind of attitude towards their husbands, no respect.

134 Elaine September 8, 2011 at 1:22 pm

Oh please, it’s tongue and cheek. Marriage takes a sense of humor to last too. Geez.

And she has plenty of other great things to write about, and has. Have you read this blog for a while???
Elaine recently posted..11 Hours a Week!

135 SunrunnerGal September 9, 2011 at 10:30 pm

Gosh, I’m with Amy. What a shame, you ladies.
*totters off in her high heels and pearls to vacuum the den*

136 Johanna September 6, 2011 at 2:31 pm

I LOVE it!
Johanna recently posted..Truth and Beauty

137 Jessica September 6, 2011 at 4:13 pm

So hilarious. You have crazy-amazing talent.
I truly thought I was the only one with half the lights in my house burnt out.
Jessica recently posted..The Hot Seat and a Prize!

138 Team Suzanne September 6, 2011 at 7:13 pm

I hope you get the band back together, put this sucker to music, and make it an anthem. Nicely done!
Team Suzanne recently posted..1986 & funny penguins

139 @rookiemum September 6, 2011 at 11:03 pm

This is now the anthem of Mom/Wives in my neighborhood! Thanks for the laugh out loud and for the knowledge that there are others out there behind gritted teeth whose heads are screaming this too!!

140 Skye Diaz | motherhood, etc. September 6, 2011 at 11:45 pm

you need to put this under “must read posts” below!!
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141 The Flying Chalupa September 7, 2011 at 6:56 pm

I love Go the Fuck to Sleep and I love your version.

Men are as equally annoying as children. And if you ever get your husband to change the hall light, send him over to put some outlet covers on, would you? Mine is indisposed. With ESPN.

142 Kelly September 8, 2011 at 9:55 am

Love it! Unfortunately, we can all relate! My husband and the cat are starting to look like twins! The snoring! – My mom told me a neat little trick she does to my dad – when she can’t take the snoring one more second, she pinches his *nose closed and then he has to open his mouth to breathe. It works in most cases, unless my husband’s mouth is already open, and he’s doing that crazy sleep apnea type snore – then I just wake him up and tell him to roll over. *Don’t hold both openings closed at the same time. lol.
Kelly recently posted..McKinney North Bulldogs Blue and Orange Team Spirit Paw Print Necklace

143 NICOLE September 8, 2011 at 11:38 am

oh this is great… totally feel ya!

144 Marta September 8, 2011 at 2:27 pm

OMG I love it. Hilarious. I’m emailing it to my husband now =)
Marta recently posted..You Probably Won’t Read This

145 Heather September 8, 2011 at 4:12 pm

FANTASTIC.
Heather recently posted..If Dads Were Moms

146 Mandy September 8, 2011 at 6:55 pm

Oh my gosh…that is the funniest thing I have read in a long time! I think I will post it in my house!
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147 Mandy September 8, 2011 at 9:39 pm

Wonderful. I swear, if the kids didn’t know how to read, I’d put it on the fridge.

148 Ann September 9, 2011 at 1:40 pm

I’m so late to this parade. Fantastic. Just awesome.

149 Shan @ Last Shreds Of Sanity September 9, 2011 at 4:53 pm

That’s hilarious. I’ve told my husband that if he doesn’t start using the pile of Breathe Right strips I bought him, I’m going to shove them up his ass as I shove him out the door.

His snores can wake the dead. I’m sorry you have the same problem.
Shan @ Last Shreds Of Sanity recently posted..Ten Years

150 Jo-Anna September 10, 2011 at 10:43 pm

omg. Seriously, this is so hilarious. Calling in the hubby to read it right now. Love it. All of it!!
Jo-Anna
Jo-Anna recently posted..September 11

151 Bohemian Hijabi September 12, 2011 at 5:25 pm

I would like to have this printed on a T-shirt, if I could. Just when I thought you couldn’t be any more awesome…
Bohemian Hijabi recently posted..Ten Things I Hate

152 Dominika September 19, 2011 at 12:08 am

I am new to your blog, have been glued to my computer for hours reading all your posts!
This made my day, week, month and YEAR. love it and thank you for your genuine honesty.

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