Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- Dear Judgy Mothers on My Website… - June 15, 2013
- 10 Skills Every Mother Should Possess - June 10, 2013
- Perfection (Or pretty close) - June 3, 2013
A few weeks ago, I was sent a list of questions for an interview. They told me they were looking for fast answers, word association-ish. My kind of questions. I buzzed through the first 14, but the last one left me completely stumped: What kind of parent are you, it asked. What kind of parent am I? In a few words? What the hell kind of question is that?
I came back to it again and again, hoping for some sort of epiphany, but no spark of genius came to me. I settled on “I am a parent who tries,” but the question seemed to beg for so much more.
So, to answer the question in more than a few words…
.
I am a breastfeeding failure whose children still managed to thrive.
I am a parenting class drop-out.
I am an unintentional co-sleeper.
I am an out of frustration yeller.
I am an infrequent school volunteer-er.
I am a reluctant short order cook.
I am an unfortunate curser.
I am a thank you note believer, but often forgetter.
I am a Betty Crocker baker.
I am a laugher, at all the wrong moments.
I am an eye roller.
I am an incompetent homework helper.
I am a skip the bath if you’ve been to the pool believer.
I am a documenter of the little moments.
I am a lover of my children, but disliker of most others.
I am a non-bedmaker.
I a well intentioned mistake maker.
I am a laid back obsessor.
I am an over-bandager if it stops the crying.
I am a “tomorrow is a new day” vower.
Basically? I’m a parent who tries.
I guess my answer wasn’t that far off, after all.
..
What kind of parent are you?
{ 110 comments… read them below or add one }
Ha. I am a parent who laughs, often at myself, mostly at my children. It’s my blog tag line. (Un)Fortunately, they laugh at me too.
Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) recently posted..Cleaning Tips I’ve Googled Since Having Twins (from the archives)
I’m a Scary Mommy, of course!!!! :)
You are a parent who tries and does a beautiful job of it! Pool kids are clean and Betty Crocker kids are happy and laughing at whatever time makes everything better.
Brittany {Mommy Words} recently posted..Fund Your Summer Fun and Win a $100 eBay Gift Card
“I am the kind of parent who — what kind of bullshit question is this?”
I can say bullshit here, right? No? Well, then:
“I am the kind of parent who is busy. And really, really tired.”
Tragic Sandwich recently posted..The Liebster Award, or a Linky Post
I am a parent who does my best, just like my parents. That’s all I can do!
That’s a much harder question than it seemed. I like your answers; I try, too.
Funny you posted this – a few days ago, I read a question that asked: “If your child could describe you in three words, what would they be?”
Since my kids are only three years old, I thanked God I have time to change my parenting ways before they can answer that!
Jessi recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: my little Relay walkers
I sooooo needed to hear that! I keep telling myself they don’t or shouldn’t remember things until atleast 5…right?!?!
I’m a parent who is doing a really good job at pretending to have it all under control. I actually have no idea what the hell I’m doing but we’re all alive so I must not be doing THAT bad.
Jessica recently posted..We did it!
I am a parent just trying to do the best that I can.
I’m a Mamma that loves, and does the best that I can. I’m a mamma who gets overwhelmed, feels defeated, wonders why I bother, but then I look at the 3 little girls that I am raising and I know what I am. I am a beacon to my girls, lighting and guiding their way. Hardest, but best, job I’ve ever had. x
Jess WhoaMamma recently posted..The Twin Thing
I teared up on this answer. bravo good answer
I yell out of frustration
If my kids jumped in the jacuzzi before coming in, that’s close enough to a bath for me
I’m a lover of my children, sometimes a DISLIKER of my own children (I tell them ‘I’ll always love you, but right now I don’t like you very much’)
I’m a mom, much like every mom here, who tries to do her best without handicapping my kids and making them unable to function as adults.
Christina recently posted..Bah! Where does the time go?
I am the kind of parent who is doing the best she can and it is better than average.
I like your list a lot. I am definitely some of the things on it.
thedoseofreality recently posted..Wh(Y) Chromosomes?—Causing Trouble Since 2011
I’m a shut up or ill get you’re father kinda parent ;)
I’m the kind of mother who is trying to do her very best, despite the criticism from all of the rest.
I am the kind of parent that relates to almost everything you said! Thanks!
My favorite: I am a skip the bath if you’ve been to the pool believer. So true in our house!
That was in no way a one-word answer type of question. Hmm..let’s see. I’m a mom who survives on coffee. I get upset often. I hate cooking but have to do it. I squeeze in me time whenever I can, even if it means the kids are making a mess with their snack, napping too late, or watching too much t.v. In short, I’m not perfect but I’m trying. (I think we all are.)
Mercy recently posted..Scarlett is Weaned
I’m a believer.
I believe I can’t screw it up that badly (I’ve seen way worse).
I believe that just because they threw my iPad after scribbling on it with hidden crayons, doesn’t mean I’m not doing a decent job of raising decent people.
I believe my kids are so adorable I may eat them some day.
I believe coffee, lollipops, wine, TV, and separate bathrooms fix a lot of things.
I believe I’m close to going insane some days.
I believe it’s all gonna be all right other days.
I believe in my kids to help raise me while I’ll raising them, and some day we’ll genuinely thank each other for all of it.
Kim at Let Me Start By Saying recently posted..A Mythical Beast & My Blockaded Vagina
I could pretty much relate to everything you wrote. As a FT working mom of two kids (almost 12 & 9) I have reasons almost daily to feel guilty and inadequate. However I know that I love my kids, they are happy, and we like to laugh. A little laughter goes a long way. Soon-to-be new parents will ask for advice or words of wisdom and I always say the same thing.
If I had to write a parenting book this would be the title and content:
WHATEVER WORKS. The end.
Do whatever works best for your family and the heck with everyone else. So I point with pride when I make a hot breakfast for my kids…one they’ll eat in the car as we’re speeding to get to the bus on time…Cup O’ Noodles. Somehow the fact that it’s hot negates all of the sodium and other stuff in there.
Stay cool Scary Mommy – you’re the best!
I think you’re me!!!!
I am a good-enough parent. Oh sure, I have moments of true brilliance. Which is good because those balance out the other ones.
Rebecca Schorr recently posted..Summer of 2012
i was actually told by my doctor to take baths frequently in pool chemicals because i am supper sensitive to the mrsa virus. so you are doing your kids a favor and protecting them! i am the anti-helicopter parent, a firm believer in if it doesn’t kill you it will only make you stronger, i am the reverse psychology parent, i am not too good for mind tricks, i am not to proud to beg, coerce, or bribe my children into good behavior. i am the death whisper pro parent and and if i yell it will shave years off your life expectancy. i’m the parent who lets my kids wear what ever they want to prove a point parent (shorts in winter time fine freeze your balls off)
My knee-jerk, short answer was, “I’m a parent who tries real hard and hopes love will be enough.”
The longer answer is that I’m a parent who knows most of us adults came out of being parented okay, in spite of our own parents’ many flaws and mistakes. So I believe that our kids are also most likely going to be just fine. In fact, I think that most often, kids survive being parented better than the parents survive doing the parenting, on account of our tendency to carry guilt and obsess over our mistakes.
Jaimie recently posted..It’s not useless cursing, it’s MATH, and it just may save your life.
I am a mom who is happy to let my kids indulge in summers filled with their new video games if it keeps them happy!
Amanda recently posted..I’m Published!!!
I am the same kind of parent as you, apparently.
This is EXACTLY what I am.
Except I do love other children : )
Everything else is dead on.
I think you are the best kind of parent there is.
Life with Kaishon recently posted..The Creativity Project gets colorful! Red, Green, Yellow and Blue {Month 3}
Oh thank god it’s not just us…we don’t make beds either. It makes my MIL ape-shit crazy.
tracy@sellabitmum recently posted..The Wish
Us too!!! It is my mother & aunt who are driven insane by it, though.
You don’t? I totally pictured you as a bed-making family Tracy!
Jessica recently posted..Outside of me
I think you have spying on my house! You described me to a T!
I think that’s a great answer. I would have probably had to go with something sarcastic like, perfect in every way. Let them make of that what they will. ;) Or maybe I would say I am the kind of parent who makes other parents feel better about themselves. Let’s go with that.
Rachael recently posted..OTI: How to (not) be Fashionable
I’m a mom who does the best she can with what she has to work with:)
New Lisa recently posted..Guest Post!
I would like to “Like” this comment… ;-)
Elaine recently posted..Dad Love
Me too. A mother who can handle their work and their responsible at home is really great.
Allicia Tresch recently posted..Dealing with Important Men’s Issues
I love that you’re a non-bedmaker too.
Kristin Shaw recently posted..Nearly Wordless Wednesday: The SerenBe Wedding
All the things you said AND I am a relentless goof. Just ask my eye rolling kids. ;)
Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom recently posted..This Is Not Just Some Lame Attempt To Link A Bunch Of My Previous Posts. It’s SO Much More…
I had to lol literally at the laughing at inappropriate times. I do that myself. I would have to say i’m a singing always makes things better mom, you can never have too many kisses mom and when in total frustration pass it off to dad
As usual, your post was dead on :) We could totally hang out and have play dates. Your answer was perfect. I think that is all we can do as parents. Just keep trying. Some days I am Super Mom. Other days, not so much…Hopefully my babies will remember the good days, and not the ones when I would love to sneak a little vodka in my Diet Coke
Heidi Bryan recently posted..How do you forget to eat?? Because I need to learn
I’m the kind of parent who has to forgive themselves EVERY night and swears to try to do better the next day.
Rose recently posted..Get Out Of Town!
Yep, that’s my daily mantra, too.
Just when I feel like I totally suck as a parent…you write this post and make me feel so much better about myself…and less alone in my journey as a parent – “tomorrow is a new day”. :-) Loved this post Jill!
Nicole @MTDLBlog recently posted..Redneck Waterslide {Simple Life}
I’m a mom who thought she was prepared, but realizes you never can be completely.
So I’m a mom who is now so flexible, I can kiss my own ass.
Carolyn recently posted..DIY July 4 Party Lights
Abzolutely love this post, I too am a “trying” parent. Some days are better tban others but some how I’ve managed.
I am a non-spanker but loud yeller.
I am an eater of his leftover breakfast, lunch and dinner.
I am a much better confidence builder than LEGOs builder.
I am a payer of one dollar if he’ll stay in his room till 7am on Sundays.
I am a constant sayer of “I love you.”
I am a promoter of trying new things even though I prefer the familiarity of the couch.
Kim at notmymomsblog recently posted..My new big boy bike
I am a mom who wasn’t cut out for this. But who has kids that make me want to keep trying. xo
wendy @ mama one to three recently posted..At Great Risk of “Rapture, Blister, Burn”
Every time I want to scream at some ill behaved obnoxious kid at the park, I remember that you don’t like those kids either…solidarity. What kind of patent are you? Impossible to answer in one sentence, or fifty. Depends on the day.
Practical Parenting recently posted..Mirror, Mirror
Sounds a lot like me!
Motherhood on the Rocks recently posted..10 WAYS IN WHICH MY DOG PREPARED ME FOR MOTHERHOOD
Do have any idea how AWESOME you just made everybody (who reads your blog) feel??? I related to everything on an “OMGTHATSME!!!!” level except for the not being good at helping with homework. I’m really good at that for some reason, unless yelling while helping precludes being ‘good’ at it. Then I wouldn’t be very good at it at all. :(
BTW once I finally admitted that I’m a yeller and that’s who I am and I’m not going to try to change it… my yelling decreased dramatically. Weird, huh? (I think pretending to be someone you’re not makes people want to yell.)
Kristen Mae recently posted..It’s Too Soon For Awards! (But I’ll Take It!)
Feeling really thankful that there are so many other Moms who yell out there. Makes me feel tremendously better!
OMG!!! I AM YOU!!! :)))
I’m the kind of mom who is pissed off that I can’t finish reading this blog because DD2 is starting to fuss upstairs in her cot. I’m the kind of mom who is trying – but not half as much as my kids.
laurel remington recently posted..The Demon Public
I’m also the kind of mom who is now going to feel guilty all day that I said something mean about my darling children. Maybe I’d feel differently if only I had a home office.
laurel remington recently posted..The Demon Public
I am the father who answers questions with because. I am the man who kills the bugs, scares the monsters and the best at the father/daughter dance.
I am dad- that is who I am.
Jack@TheJackB recently posted..The Value of Fatherly Advice
I am a parent who prays a lot for her kids. Despite my best efforts, things don’t always go the way that I want them to. So I pray everyday for guidance that God may bless me with the strength, skill and grace to raise my children well. I believe that if I mess up at this parenting business, then no success I achieve in any other sphere will matter.
There are some things I have promised myself I will always do. When my kids come to me to tell me stories about how their day has been, I will stop what I am doing and listen to them. When they do something nice, I will cheer wildly. And I say, “I love you,” at least 5 times a day to each child.
I believe that raising kids right is one of the most challenging and fulfilling jobs in the world. That is why I am handling it with prayer.
Cynthia Rodrigues recently posted..Say Cheese. You’re being shot…
I’m the mother with the child with a fever on the mattress on the floor beside her. The one with the other child who had the nightmare in bed next to her. Reading scary mommy at 2:33am and trying not to lol so I don’t wake them.
What is this “making beds” you are talking about?
Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently posted..The school fête changed me forever
I’m a mom who has tried really hard. And is crossing her fingers and hoping that she did a good enough job as she prepares to send her son off into the world.
Gigi recently posted..Parent DIS-Orientation – Day Two
I’m a mom just like you, but who wonders how all you moms with more than one child survive!
I’m a give it to new moms straight truth teller.
I’m a pick it up or I’ll throw it away-er.
I’m a Play-Doh banner.
I’m an impenetrable whine force field owner.
I’m a too often angry face/voice maker.
I’m an incessant worrier.
I’m a come here, I love you, leave me alone, you irk me feeler (who doesn’t give a shit about a made bed).
Arnebya recently posted..Are You There, Me? It’s Me.
I’m a parent who wings it!
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Shit I Did As A Teenager
I am the same kind of mother… i try… I work fulltime, which mean i have NEVER volunteered at my kids school.. eek.
Can I be ‘all of the above’ kind of mum ? :)
I can relate to all of your points as my household is being run by this mom who tries really hard. My late mother-in-law used to say that she didn’t bring up her kids, she dragged them up. Some days it feels like that……..
Kat recently posted..My two loves: internet and reading
I am a parent . . .
Wow! That IS a hard question. What if I replace the word “parent” with “woman”?
I am a woman who loves her kids. I am a woman who since having kids, has developed a 7th sense. A sense of guilt.
There. That works, right?
Mona Andrei recently posted..Rainbows and Butterflies. And traffic.
A parent who tries?
That is the best kind.
*high five to a beautiful mama, doing it the way it’s meant to be done.*
Alexandra recently posted..Better Than Oil of Olay
I’m a mom…who puts one foot in front of the other and keeps marching.
Meg recently posted..The Story About Ping
Love your list! Almost all of those would be on my list. I just can’t stand the beds being unmade though. If the beds are made I feel like I have the slightest of grips on the chaos that is my household!
Shannon recently posted..Finding Nemo Coloring Pages to Print
I love this, love the tone of your posts lately Jill. I think I’m the same, a mom who tries and a mom who soaks it all up and doesn’t take my days for granted because I know how fragile they are. I hope my kids remember me as a mom who really looked at them and cherished their days, even when they were driving me a little crazy.
Jessica recently posted..Outside of me
Laid back obsessor. Yup. That about covers it.
Guerrilla Mom recently posted..Today.
I am a parent who is human.
Andrea recently posted..Advertising Post Card
My blog tagline says it all- “I’m the child psychologist who thought she had all the answers to parenting until she became one herself.” And now I realize- I’ve got none!
The Mommy Psychologist recently posted..Stop Lying To Me
I’m a parent who truly believes it’s not an emergency unless there’s bleeding. Also, bleeding better be more than a couple of drops before I’m going to panic.
Most of all, I believe the biggest gift I can give my kids on any given day is the blessing of being bored for a little while, so they learn to think, have a reason to read, and know that life doesn’t owe them unicorns, rainbows and endless fun.
Katie B. of HousewifeHowTos.com recently posted..How To Eat More Vegetables: 10 Ideas
I am a mum who has spent a lot of time feeling guilty, and is now taking the time to simply enjoy the little things. Easier said than done though! Thank you so much for this post, is such a great, thought-provoking question. x
I’m quick-tempered and quick to hug. I’m obsessive about sheets being tucked in but haven’t cleaned the toilets in weeks (I drop alka-seltzer tabs in them because I read it somewhere). I get out every plate and every mug every day and then whine about having to do to the dishes. I’m insecure about my grimy counters and floors but too tired to do anything about it. I think someone said I’ll miss the messy fingerprints some day….
Love this post…
Kirsten recently posted..Birkenstock Granada Soft Footbed
I think of myself as a muddler. I wouldn’t put that on a job questionnaire, though.
I am the kind of parent who…
calls the tomato sauce on pizza a vegetable
put her kid’s hair in liberty spikes with Elmer’s glue for spirit week (and took pictures to prove it)
and
upgrades her car purchase just so that the second kid can have a cupholder.
Kimberly recently posted..Heartaches are good for you
I think a “trier” is a really good thing to be. It reminds me of that Alan Jackson song, “I’ll Try.” (and you probably have no idea what I’m talking about but you can google or youtube it) Years and years ago when it came out it really dawned on me that is the best promise any of us can make in any situation (the song is about marriage), is to just try.
Jennifer recently posted..Sum It Up {Random Thoughts}
I am a mediocre/ moderate parent. I believe that you can’t believe in any one parenting philosophy or style whole heartedly.
I’m a sometimes you can have desert first parent.
I think I strive to let my kids know I love them, without worrying too much that I’m being a “good” parent.
kisha recently posted..Springing thru Spring
I’m fallable, frustrated, foiled and doing the best I can with what I’ve got. I’m the Mum who’s heart is so full with the sound of a giggle….
SoberJulie recently posted..Fatherhood ~ Joy & Frustration Abound
Oh my my… I think you have hit the nail on the head here! I have to completely agree with Everything you have said! I am a mom who tries. I am not perfect, nor have I ever claimed to be! I do things I shouldn’t, some that I should, but overall I have learned that being a mom is a learning experience. Each new day is a new chapter in the learning curve of being a mom…. I just hope that I don’t end up getting run over one day by my kids backing out of the driveway… (Lets hope they are NOTHING like me! lol)
Chrissy recently posted..Cure for UTI’s? Can it be? A Cure all for just about anything???
I am a mom who is recovering from addiction and trying to make up for lost time without spoiling them rotten. Mostly, I am a lot like your list, I am just trying.
Also, trying not to screw it up and forgive myself when I do.
Mom Off Meth recently posted..Here it is…
I like your answer better than mine. I probably would have told them that I’m a laid-back and relaxed sort of neurotic worrier. That would probably be the most accurate for me.
One that can’t be with his kids as much as he would like, but tries to make the most of the time I do get.
I’m a perfect Mama…at least I try to be.
You pretty much summed it up for me! I’ll add that I am a “do the best you can and save money for therapy” mom too :)
I’m not sure yet… So far I’m myself, only with a baby. I’m loving, nurturing, and really trying to be conscious- of how I act (trying to avoid flying off the handle when technology fails me, stuff breaks, the basement floods, when I burn dinner) and how I parent.
Pam recently posted..Race Report: Boulder Sprint Triathlon
I was nodding through you list. I believe we are all trying our best…. xo
Elaine recently posted..Dad Love
I believe any source of water counts as bathing – pool, lake, pond, back yard inflatable, slip & slide, garden hose – heck, last week squirt guns sufficed!
And I am definitely a laid-back obsessor!
Lollie – The Fortuitous Housewife recently posted..Preschool Graduation – Seriously?
I could say that I am a good mother to my two sons. I make sure that they are always in good since they are my life.
Mia Glover recently posted..Secrets to Dealing with Hair Loss
I am a goofy parent that my children sometimes enjoy and mostly roll their eyes at! ;)
Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom recently posted..Mod Mom’s Book Of Questionable Nursery Rhymes
I am a mommy that always wishes she was a little bit better.
Cassie recently posted..Oh, Summer Break
amen
that sounds like Im going to be the kind of parent you are and Im fine with that!
Debbie recently posted..Fathers Day 2012
I’m a “because I said so.” , “What did you just say?”, “Don’t you look at me like that.” and a “Sweet dreams, I love you!” kind of parent.
Yeah….Me too.
I’m a new parent, a learning parent, and a trying too hard in some areas and not hard enough in others parent.
Jen recently posted..Celebrating summer
Im the kinda parent (mom) who knows I’ll just get blamed for everything in their therapy sessions years from now!
Im the kind of parent,I wish I had growing up..there.
DITTO!!!! Except co-sleeping…that’s the line I draw! They stay in their OWN beds!
I am a “super, some would say “overly” affectionate parent” because I miss out on some hugs and kisses when I was growing up.
Autherine recently posted..Letting Go Of Fear And Living A Purposeful Life
I am a mom who tries not to be a helicopter mom. I fail at that sometimes, but am trying to hide in the corner and let her be her while I play it cool.
Regina recently posted..There’s a Mouse in the Toilet . . . a quick way to clean your home
Am I on hidden camera? You been reading my diary? I can relate to all those. I guess that makes me a scary mommy too!
Chantelle recently posted..When we were kids…
I am a parent who tries as well…and then just ends up drinking lots of wine at the end of the day to numb the pain.
#whateverworks
My kids once told me that I was the mom from the show “Malcolm in the Middle”, Lois was a hardass and that’s how they see me. Even now that two of them have grown up and have babies of their own. Ha! I know I’m just hanging on by my fingertips, but my husband says I make it look easy so I’m also a good actress. Mostly I’m just tired.
I’m a loving and responsible mother to my kids. I make sure that they will grow to the right way of life.
Amanda Baldwin recently posted..Male Sex Drive: How to Increase Your Sex Drive
I believe I am a parent who is doing the best she can as a first-time mom, and doing a good job. Even though my husband thinks I’m not.
It is scary how close to this I am. Always we are glad to hear that there are others like us. In my opinion you are a honest person (not meaning never tell a lie) but who lives honestly by who they are and that is the only way to be. The best results will come to us I truley believe thsi!
I am a “it is what it is” parent!