What to Expect The First Day Home

Hospital-Bassinet

Wake up to breakfast in bed provided by the hospital cafeteria.

Have the lovely nurses in the nursery wheel in your precious baby and spend the morning bonding.

Talk to the doctor, who tells you the great news: You’re being discharged today!

Panic.

Realize you left the car seat in the car.

Panic.

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Send hubby to get said car seat while you are alone with the baby.

Panic.

Realize you don’t know how to work the car seat.

Panic.

Finally get the baby in the car seat only to realize that it looks like you just placed a mouse in a cage fit for an elephant.

Panic.

Say goodbye to the lovely hospital staff and thank them for all they have done.

Panic.

Get wheeled down to the car while realizing that this is it: no more pushing a button to get help when you need it.

Panic.

Get yourself, the hubby and the baby in the car.

Panic.

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Drive five miles an hour on the car ride home.

Panic.

Get home and feel like a strange man in a strange land.

Panic.

Get unpacked and wonder what to do next.

Panic.

The baby cries.

Panic.

Try to figure out what the baby wants.

Panic.

Figure out what the baby wanted only to have it start crying again.

Panic.

Try to figure out what the baby wants.

Panic.

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Figure out what the baby wanted only to have it start crying again.

Panic.

Try to figure out what the baby wants.

Panic.

Figure out what the baby wanted only to have it start crying again.

Panic.

Realize that you have been home for eight hours and haven’t eaten or used the bathroom.

Panic/get faint.

Decide it is time for everyone to try to go to bed and put the baby down for the night.

Panic.

Obsessively watch the baby sleep and analyze every twitch and breath.

Panic.

Baby wakes up crying.

Panic.

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Feed baby and put it back to sleep.

Panic.

Obsessively watch the baby sleep and analyze every twitch and breath.

Panic.

Baby wakes up crying.

Panic.

Feed baby and put it back to sleep.

Panic.

Obsessively watch the baby sleep and analyze every twitch and breath.

Panic.

Baby wakes up crying.

Panic.

Feed baby and put it back to sleep.

Panic.

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Obsessively watch the baby sleep and analyze every twitch and breath.

Panic.

Baby wakes up crying.

Panic.

Decide that it’s finally time to call it night and… start your day.

You made it!

One day down, 18 more years to go.

About the writer

Julie is the wrangler of a little girl who wears glasses and a fuzzy pink eye patch and a little boy who does neither. She also writes nonsense at I Like Beer and Babies. She is OK at Facebook and sucks at Twitter.

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Julia 4 months ago

I did not sleep for days, starting 4 days before I gave birth due to the contractions. So painful I couldn’t sleep through them. Then didn’t sleep at ALL 3 days in the hospital or the first night home. My mom came and babysat the next day so I could rest. I managed 5 hrs and was at it again. It got easier, not sleeping but adjusting to minimum sleep and taking care of the baby. 11 wks now… I don’t wake ny husband 3 times a night anymore because baby is making weird noises. I was ready to rush him to the ER one night lol.

ilove2k 9 months ago

The second day home I cooked dinner and got depressed at the table while eating. Apatite changed, my bundle was next to me and was happy he arrived, I had been waiting for that day ever since I knew he was coming. I was just sad though. I don’t know if it was bc I felt empty, or what… My carpet seemed really dirty to me..(we got a dog b4 I knew I was pregers) he destroyed my carpet. I didn’t get a chance to ness and clean like I wanted to b4 baby so when I came home …home just didn’t feel like home after three days at the hospital. It was that day and that day only I felt that way. I didn’t unpack my bags for weeks… I think my oldest son felt short changed with all the attention the new baby was getting from me and dad. He was my only for seven years. My puppy especially felt the shift in attention. I had no family.. We made a big move the year b4. Looking back on it & as I write this I see why I was depressed now. Being fat didn’t help none.

Lady Z 1 year ago

I am laughing so hard that I am crying. I am due in less than 6 months, and this somehow made me feel more secure.

Desiree 1 year ago

Oh, I don’t know. I wouldn’t say I panicked that much. For me It was … lay with baby on chest. Sleep in arm chair. Wake up every hour to breastfeed. Figure out how to do pretty much EVERYTHING one-handed while holding a little 8 pound lump in the other arm. Change lots of diapers. Hobble around feeling like your insides are going to bust out of your c-section scar….

Nicole Woods-Sisk 1 year ago

If you had a c-section… Your milk comes in the minute you walk in the door!

Deb Brandt-Sarif 1 year ago

sounds about right…

Amy McGuire 1 year ago

Lol so true

Tiyai Arielle 1 year ago

thank you

Nadia Camille Simpson 1 year ago

So true. Panic.

Nicole Olivo 1 year ago

Most accurate description ever! Not to mention the constant thought of “omg omg omg who thought it was a good idea to let me take home a baby! I have no clue what I’m doing, I’m not qualified for this job! Omg Omg omg”

Vanessa Ammen Mazzoli 1 year ago

So true!!

Gary L Holdren 1 year ago

When the next one coming

Rachel Gelbach 1 year ago

Am I the only person that had a very easy newborn? Put the baby on my boob and back to sleep. Lol

Theresa Mills 1 year ago

Yeah, I really didn’t know what to do with her. LOL! She’d eat, then go to sleep and I’d go to sleep. She’d wake up hungry, I’d feed her then we’d both fall asleep again. LOL! I forgot to eat often, especially when my DH went back to work!

Elizabeth Hall 1 year ago

Be glad it not you

Rachel Bakke 1 year ago

Nope.

Nicole Mentch 1 year ago

Spot on!

Pam Schrum 1 year ago

Lol….just thinking about my daughter and her husband 31/2 years ago…several days of being home I asked have u given Owen a sponge bath yet….needless to say their jaws dropped and so began bathing101

Nisa Rojas 1 year ago

What exactly is GERD and colic?? I just want to know for the future

Jennifer Rollin 1 year ago

Truth. I remember thinking. OMG they are letting me leave with him. What do I do with it!!

Allyson Castle 1 year ago

Absolutely! You hit the nail on the head, at least for the first baby!

Tammy Bussie 1 year ago

I dont remember ever being in panic mode. I actually found the nurses annoying. I just wanted them to leave us alone. I got this.

Miranda Filippone 1 year ago

Yeah my first day was nothing like that. I was dying to get out of that hospital and I didn’t panic when I got home… I couldn’t put my baby down, I didn’t want to.

Katie Marie 1 year ago

I didn’t unpack my bags for at least 2 weeks…no time!!

Phyllis Gilmore 1 year ago

I never had one, but I heard about my own homecoming–both grandmothers apparently ripped me out of Mom’s arms the minute she stepped through the door and began fighting over me. A different level of panic–

Olivia Caves 1 year ago

Tania Elizabeth Tanner

    Tania Elizabeth Tanner 1 year ago

    There is or if panic

Kathy Nolan 1 year ago

Never a truer word said!

Rachel Elizabeth Johnson 1 year ago

I’m so glad I had a midwife to protect me. We had a home birth so it was NOTHING like this for us.

Tiffany Maggio 1 year ago

The sleep thing…so on point!

Melanie Oakley-Manuel 1 year ago

So funny and true

Jaxson Des 1 year ago

My advice on what to expect don’t have any expectations lol.

Nannette Balsam Morgan 1 year ago

And they somehow survive, as do we! It sure doesn’t seem possible at first!

Aerin Freno 1 year ago

Oh, and if only it stopped after 18 years 😉 some go on into 30 years lol

Melissa Spease Avery 1 year ago

Don’t forget how the 50# dog, being so glad to see you after several days, jumps up and places his paws directly on your c-section incision. Welcome home, mom!!!

Natassja Tara 1 year ago

pretty close, except here there is no “putting down the baby” at night. lol

Aida Cantu-Reza 1 year ago

I remember being in shock. And a lot of happiness.. I think I was delirious.

Kim Shackelford 1 year ago

My first baby that I got bring home was 9 1/2 lbs and was still 6 weeks early. She was growing too much. My second baby I got to bring home weighed 4 lbs. Lots of tries before and after but they srr wonderful.

Andpar 1 year ago

Instead of time to call it a night how about having hubby wake you up after being asleep five minutes wanting to kn

Krystal Fuer 1 year ago

My husband walked into the nursery the first morning after our first night home and through tears I cried “we have to go back…he’s broken”

Laura Robyn 1 year ago

Sleep?!? What is this sleep thing you mention? My newborn was up ALL night the first few nights unless she was in my arms…

Bridget Whyte 1 year ago

yup!

Monica Gray Gettings 1 year ago

My son is almost 17, the night my husband and I brought him home, we laid him on the bed and said “what should we do with him?”

LOri Dumm 1 year ago

I HATED WHEN EVERYONE WAS THERE WHEN I BROUGHT HER HOME! I HATED THAT BUT I WENT ASKED THEM TO LEAVE! TOO FREAKIN BAD YOUR OUT THE DOOR! LOL

Shalita First-Lady Ford 1 year ago

I have 3 Sons

Melissa Gray Hardy 1 year ago

Feels like it was freaking yesterday.

Alix Turner 1 year ago

That was me. %100.

Priya-lei Robin Staudt 1 year ago

Not true one bit!

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