What to Expect The First Day Home


Wake up to breakfast in bed provided by the hospital cafeteria.

Have the lovely nurses in the nursery wheel in your precious baby and spend the morning bonding.

Talk to the doctor, who tells you the great news: You’re being discharged today!


Realize you left the car seat in the car.


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Send hubby to get said car seat while you are alone with the baby.


Realize you don’t know how to work the car seat.


Finally get the baby in the car seat only to realize that it looks like you just placed a mouse in a cage fit for an elephant.


Say goodbye to the lovely hospital staff and thank them for all they have done.


Get wheeled down to the car while realizing that this is it: no more pushing a button to get help when you need it.


Get yourself, the hubby and the baby in the car.


Drive five miles an hour on the car ride home.


Get home and feel like a strange man in a strange land.


Get unpacked and wonder what to do next.


The baby cries.


Try to figure out what the baby wants.


Figure out what the baby wanted only to have it start crying again.


Try to figure out what the baby wants.

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Figure out what the baby wanted only to have it start crying again.


Try to figure out what the baby wants.


Figure out what the baby wanted only to have it start crying again.


Realize that you have been home for eight hours and haven’t eaten or used the bathroom.

Panic/get faint.

Decide it is time for everyone to try to go to bed and put the baby down for the night.


Obsessively watch the baby sleep and analyze every twitch and breath.


Baby wakes up crying.


Feed baby and put it back to sleep.


Obsessively watch the baby sleep and analyze every twitch and breath.


Baby wakes up crying.


Feed baby and put it back to sleep.


Obsessively watch the baby sleep and analyze every twitch and breath.


Baby wakes up crying.


Feed baby and put it back to sleep.


Obsessively watch the baby sleep and analyze every twitch and breath.


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Baby wakes up crying.


Decide that it’s finally time to call it night and… start your day.

You made it!

One day down, 18 more years to go.

About the writer

Julie is the wrangler of a little girl who wears glasses and a fuzzy pink eye patch and a little boy who does neither. She also writes nonsense at I Like Beer and Babies. She is OK at Facebook and sucks at Twitter.

From Around the Web


ilove2k 5 months ago

The second day home I cooked dinner and got depressed at the table while eating. Apatite changed, my bundle was next to me and was happy he arrived, I had been waiting for that day ever since I knew he was coming. I was just sad though. I don’t know if it was bc I felt empty, or what… My carpet seemed really dirty to me..(we got a dog b4 I knew I was pregers) he destroyed my carpet. I didn’t get a chance to ness and clean like I wanted to b4 baby so when I came home …home just didn’t feel like home after three days at the hospital. It was that day and that day only I felt that way. I didn’t unpack my bags for weeks… I think my oldest son felt short changed with all the attention the new baby was getting from me and dad. He was my only for seven years. My puppy especially felt the shift in attention. I had no family.. We made a big move the year b4. Looking back on it & as I write this I see why I was depressed now. Being fat didn’t help none.

Lady Z 9 months ago

I am laughing so hard that I am crying. I am due in less than 6 months, and this somehow made me feel more secure.

Teray Harris 10 months ago

It’s a pacifier or binky. :-)

Desiree 1 year ago

Oh, I don’t know. I wouldn’t say I panicked that much. For me It was … lay with baby on chest. Sleep in arm chair. Wake up every hour to breastfeed. Figure out how to do pretty much EVERYTHING one-handed while holding a little 8 pound lump in the other arm. Change lots of diapers. Hobble around feeling like your insides are going to bust out of your c-section scar….

Nicole Woods-Sisk 1 year ago

If you had a c-section… Your milk comes in the minute you walk in the door!

Deb Brandt-Sarif 1 year ago

sounds about right…

Amy McGuire 1 year ago

Lol so true

Tiyai Arielle 1 year ago

thank you

Nadia Camille Simpson 1 year ago


Nadia Camille Simpson 1 year ago

So true. Panic.

Nicole Olivo 1 year ago

Most accurate description ever! Not to mention the constant thought of “omg omg omg who thought it was a good idea to let me take home a baby! I have no clue what I’m doing, I’m not qualified for this job! Omg Omg omg”

Vanessa Ammen Mazzoli 1 year ago

So true!!

Gary L Holdren 1 year ago

When the next one coming

Rachel Gelbach 1 year ago

Am I the only person that had a very easy newborn? Put the baby on my boob and back to sleep. Lol

Theresa Mills 1 year ago

Yeah, I really didn’t know what to do with her. LOL! She’d eat, then go to sleep and I’d go to sleep. She’d wake up hungry, I’d feed her then we’d both fall asleep again. LOL! I forgot to eat often, especially when my DH went back to work!

Elizabeth Hall 1 year ago

Be glad it not you

Rachel Bakke 1 year ago


Nicole Mentch 1 year ago

Spot on!

Pam Schrum 1 year ago

Lol….just thinking about my daughter and her husband 31/2 years ago…several days of being home I asked have u given Owen a sponge bath yet….needless to say their jaws dropped and so began bathing101

Nisa Rojas 1 year ago

What exactly is GERD and colic?? I just want to know for the future

Jennifer Rollin 1 year ago

Truth. I remember thinking. OMG they are letting me leave with him. What do I do with it!!

Allyson Castle 1 year ago

Absolutely! You hit the nail on the head, at least for the first baby!

Tammy Bussie 1 year ago

I dont remember ever being in panic mode. I actually found the nurses annoying. I just wanted them to leave us alone. I got this.

Miranda Filippone 1 year ago

Absolutely !

Miranda Filippone 1 year ago

Yeah my first day was nothing like that. I was dying to get out of that hospital and I didn’t panic when I got home… I couldn’t put my baby down, I didn’t want to.

Katie Marie 1 year ago

I didn’t unpack my bags for at least 2 weeks…no time!!

Soul 1 year ago

My husband, the sweetheart he is, requested the whole week off after my daughter was born. I had a little over a week to get used to my body again, and plenty of sleep. Except at night. Super sensitive mommy ears and all.

Soul 1 year ago

Oh the sleep deprivation…I had the fortunate luxury of the nursery staff taking my baby girl to the nursery at night, and bringing her to me every couple of hours for feeding.

Oh. The sleep deprivation wasn’t caused by my daughter, no no. It was caused by the ICU nurses coming in to draw blood every four hours, medicine every three, breathing treatments every six, and blood pressure checks every hour, on the hour. And the x-rays. And that CT scan.

I think in hindsight I would have loved to have gone home tired from being with baby all day.

Phyllis Gilmore 1 year ago

I never had one, but I heard about my own homecoming–both grandmothers apparently ripped me out of Mom’s arms the minute she stepped through the door and began fighting over me. A different level of panic–

Olivia Caves 1 year ago

Only 12??
My son had this crazy idea that the nappy needed to be changed 1 millisecond after wetting it. He would just scream incessantly until he had a new nappy on. I counted 24 changings one day just to get peace

Olivia Caves 1 year ago

AMEN!!! I had pre eclampsia and was monitored quarter hourly – for a week. Between blood tests, blood pressure readings, administering medication, being told my blood pressure was way too high and I “should be dead”, then the mass freaking out and calling all specialists to evaluate and general checking in, I got no sleep and my son was constantly being woken by the interruptions. Went home against Drs orders after a week of this and within one day my BP was within normal limits…
Don’t get me wrong, everyone was fantastic and I truly appreciate the care we received, but walking in that front door, even feeling foreign with a newborn was still relaxing!!

Tania Elizabeth Tanner 1 year ago

There is or if panic

Olivia Caves 1 year ago

Tania Elizabeth Tanner

Kathy Nolan 1 year ago

Never a truer word said!

Rachel Elizabeth Johnson 1 year ago

I’m so glad I had a midwife to protect me. We had a home birth so it was NOTHING like this for us.

Tiffany Maggio 1 year ago

The sleep thing…so on point!

Melanie Oakley-Manuel 1 year ago

So funny and true

Jaxson Des 1 year ago

My advice on what to expect don’t have any expectations lol.

Jessica Smith Plant 1 year ago

We have two boys and twin girls. Having the first was way harder than the twins

Nannette Balsam Morgan 1 year ago

And they somehow survive, as do we! It sure doesn’t seem possible at first!

Aerin Freno 1 year ago

Oh, and if only it stopped after 18 years 😉 some go on into 30 years lol

Melissa Spease Avery 1 year ago

Don’t forget how the 50# dog, being so glad to see you after several days, jumps up and places his paws directly on your c-section incision. Welcome home, mom!!!

Natassja Tara 1 year ago

pretty close, except here there is no “putting down the baby” at night. lol

Aida Cantu-Reza 1 year ago

I remember being in shock. And a lot of happiness.. I think I was delirious.

Kim Shackelford 1 year ago

My first baby that I got bring home was 9 1/2 lbs and was still 6 weeks early. She was growing too much. My second baby I got to bring home weighed 4 lbs. Lots of tries before and after but they srr wonderful.

Andpar 1 year ago

Instead of time to call it a night how about having hubby wake you up after being asleep five minutes wanting to kn

Krystal Fuer 1 year ago

My husband walked into the nursery the first morning after our first night home and through tears I cried “we have to go back…he’s broken”

Laura Robyn 1 year ago

Sleep?!? What is this sleep thing you mention? My newborn was up ALL night the first few nights unless she was in my arms…

Bridget Whyte 1 year ago


Monica Gray Gettings 1 year ago

My son is almost 17, the night my husband and I brought him home, we laid him on the bed and said “what should we do with him?”

LOri Dumm 1 year ago


Shalita First-Lady Ford 1 year ago

I have 3 Sons

Melissa Gray Hardy 1 year ago

Feels like it was freaking yesterday.

Alix Turner 1 year ago

That was me. %100.

Shura 1 year ago

Same here. They were so against co sleeping they checked on us every hour

Priya-lei Robin Staudt 1 year ago

Not true one bit!

Joscelin Bell 1 year ago

I read this and it reminds me of the perks of why I’d like a home birth…when baby is sleeping, snuggle & have a sleep together in the comfort of your OWN bed when you want, not a shared room, go to the bathroom when you want, eat what/when you want, decide for yourself when to invite visitors over- and when you do, ask that they choose a room of the house to clean/washing to do first (seriously, it’s a great offer!) as well as baby not being exposed to the hospital germs…each to their own but that appeals to me so much more than being in a hospital 😉

Kellie Clark 1 year ago

Did lots of these things with each of our 5 babies but never paniced, just got on with it lol

Maggie Dabbs 1 year ago

Did the exact same things with #3!!!!

Julie 1 year ago

Lol that is so freaking true with the first one! I remember watching the baby sleep, make sure she was breathing!! Then with the 2nd, lol, pass out on the bed and happy that he’s stopped crying and get some sleep!!

Jessica Beauchamp 1 year ago

Honestly. ..not how it was for me, instead I was pretty much a permanent pacifier in between her peeing through her diapers and pooping up her back. Instead of all the panic and worry I was more ancy because of having to sit so much and nurse her…good news is that she gained over a pound a week for the first month and I was very far ahead in homework plus I got to read tons of books that I had been wanting to….only downside really was the lack of sleep.

Paige Polk 1 year ago

This is spot on!

Ryan Blomquist 1 year ago

That’s all pretty accurate except the 18 years

Heather Rose 1 year ago

Lord… I’m looking forward to it. When I first got my kitten I was like this so I know I’ll be even worse with my baby. Shanna Fong

Lynn Jones 1 year ago

All I would say to anyone expecting is that it’s completely insane at first… but it’s all going to be okay.

Amanda Gamosh 1 year ago

Those first years with your new born (until you bring baby #2 home) – everything is panic worthy.

Lynn Jones 1 year ago

The journey home was on 23 December (2013) in a terrible storm. I have never been so scared in my life. There were trees down everywhere. So our first day home was Christmas eve and I can’t honestly remember it. I felt half dead from anaemia and dehydration, let alone sleep deprivation. My lovely man made us a simple but gorgeous Christmas dinner on Christmas day, which I will never forget. All I can remember otherwise from that whole time is gazing at our beautiful little guy with utter amazement.

Allison Keller 1 year ago

And…rocking baby to sleep thinking “just what the Hell do I do now???”

Danielle Hartmann 1 year ago

Oh so true!

Asha Tahir 1 year ago

I didn’t have this we were discharged after 2 weeks so by the time I got home I rolled into routine of doing all the house work cooking cleaning looking after my son alone as his dad went back to work on 3rd day

Melissa Smith Atnip 1 year ago

Sounds familiar except x 2! Panic with twins was worse.

Babies Hoffman 1 year ago

My first babies were micro preemie twins. My son is doing great but my daughter passed away after two weeks. After 124 days in the NICU, when we brought him home it wasn’t just panic it was terrifying. He came home with oxygen, a feeding tube, apnea monitors, a heart rate and oxygen monitor and a bevy of meds that he had to have every four hours. So my nights were, ” oh god, did I give him his diuretic” and ” his pulse ox is dipping below 90, I better make sure his nasal cannula is on correctly”, but we got into a groove and figured it out. With the second, I was so hungry for a normal birthing experience, I was overjoyed to stay in the hospital and go home like a normal person! Lol. :)

Joanna Asia Joasia 1 year ago

Love this lol

Tiffany McMillen-Trammell 1 year ago

And…. crying yourself!

Christina Smith 1 year ago

Flashbacks. Ugh! So glad it’s all done :)

Shannon McIlvain 1 year ago

Realize that at any moment the hospital staff is going to realize you are a fraud and refuse to let you take the baby home because you have no idea what you are doing.

Erin Winship 1 year ago

Just did all this yesterday with my new 3-day-old baby girl! :) :)

Vienna Blum 1 year ago


Phyllis Bermudez 1 year ago

I just stared at him and realized none of the baby books tell you about the fear of breaking his little body. I didn’t pick him up naked for a week!

Sarah Thomas 1 year ago

First baby I had been in hospital 13 nights on and off, with a week of that at the end with the birth, I did not want to leave the security of hospital

Neither me or partner slept properly the first night, we dozed in shifts, the other watching baby carefully to make sure they *didn’t die*

Next morning handed baby to my parents while we slept. Midwife came later and told us not to be silly and doing stuff like that means we just make ourselves a danger to her.

Second baby I don’t even remember first night home, definitely slept and definitely better than hospital

Letitia Tappa 1 year ago

Breakfast in bed? Our hospital had the baby in our room for both my kids. No sleep whatsoever.

Natasha Goode 1 year ago


Lauren Kendall 1 year ago

Exactly…don’t forget to add missing the 4 course meals you got in the hospital every time you walk thru the kitchen at breakfast, lunch, or dinner time and grab a granola bar because that’s now what most meals consist of.

Becky Yarbrough 1 year ago

After two weeks of NICU and having monitors showing you your child is alive and breathing to coming home and nothing? Yes panic and alternate reality sounds about right.

Amanda Kletzel 1 year ago

I hated being in the hospital so going home was way more relaxing.

Kerri Cleghorn Lai 1 year ago

Only thing missing is 12 diaper changes and fear of umbilical cord

Allison 1 year ago

Oh yes, the #2 thing! My nurse came in with a pill and told me I had to take it. I asked what it was, and she told me it was a stool softener, since I couldn’t be discharged unless I went #2. I told her I already had, but she kept holding this pill out for me to take. My husband finally said, “Just take it, it’s been dispensed and now she has to get rid of it!” I took it, and I didn’t look at my bill, but I probably paid $150 for that stupid pill I didn’t even need!

Courtney McGrady- LaGasse 1 year ago

This sounds about right!! Lmao

Michele Wilson Trujillo 1 year ago

Lol! Yep!!

Véronique Hauariki Martinet 1 year ago

Worst days of my Life :))

amanda 1 year ago

Its funny, because before i was a mom, I would watch these baby shows and picture feeling the way this is article described. However, i was so happy to get home. I just felt more calm and at ease being home. My husband was really good at making me breakfast in bed for the first 2 weeks or so, and i had pre-made dinners in the freezer i had made the month before. Everything went good, and we weren’t panicked, other than worrying baby wasn’t getting enough breast milk. Maybe the fact that my husband had 6 weeks off, is what helped so much. If you are a soon to be new mom… don’t worry! It’s different for everyone.

Rheanna Rocha 1 year ago

I had to take my baby to visit my family, over an hour away, when she was 9 days old. My mom came up for an hour or so when she was 3 days old, my cousin came and spent one night to help me because I was on my own and she screamed all the time. I would’ve welcomed some visitors.

Anna Roaf 1 year ago

Hilarious, and so true.

Lisa Mattingley Turturro 1 year ago

Hahahahaha…this is so true!!

Nicole Colson 1 year ago

I went home alone, after an emcs too drugged up to panic lol. I remember crying for the first hour we were home then the next three months or so are a blur of just getting things done

Jacqui Johnson Donner 1 year ago

I remember rocking my crying baby, apologizing to her because I had no idea what I was doing. “I am so sorry, baby. I don’t know why I thought I could take care of a tiny person. I can’t even keep plants & fish alive!”

Brooke 1 year ago

I wish we had a nursery at our hospital!!! I got stuck on the fact that some moms actually get to rest after childbirth. Here we have to room-in with the baby from the get go. Have a baby…no rest…get to work taking care of the baby! Didn’t help that my hubby decided he was sooooo tired from everything that he took naps after BOTH childbirths while I stayed up and took care of them :(

Simone Nolan 1 year ago

Feeling terrified you might break it? lol At east with the first one

Jessica 1 year ago

So true even for number 2. I though ” man I got this.” I ended up starting at him the whole night.

Kristin Fulton Goodrich 1 year ago

No way! I was SO glad to be home. Hubby did everything, brought car around, put baby in car, cleaned house top to bottom before coming to get us, put fresh flowers everywhere, cooked for us & my parents. Home was awesome.

Nicolle Monoxelos 1 year ago

hahaha! just in my case with my second it starts with baby never leaves side get constantly yelles at by the hospital staff for “doing things wrong”and keep doing things wrong because your room is so small and annoying you WANT to go home to your own stuff!!

Nicole D’Ambrosio 1 year ago

Yup. Especially feeling like a stranger when I walked in my front door. I felt like I stepped into an alternate dimension

Tara Massengale 1 year ago

This is one of my favorites!

Amanda Gadoury 1 year ago

I don’t remember feeling panic… Because I was too tired

Becky MacWhinnie Loftus 1 year ago

I cried the whole night before leaving the hospital and made my husband stay with me! I didn’t want to leave!

Nicole Maxfield Carr 1 year ago

Hit the nail on the head with that one

Only we had to detour to three baby shops to finally find a recommended breast pump to keep bub alive. Not fun.

Suzie Mehler Alexander 1 year ago

I remember driving away from the hospital thinking, “They’re just going to let us leave?! Do they realize we have NO idea what we’re doing?!”

Tiffany Bass 1 year ago

Stay Strong

Diana ‘Merchant’ Baun 1 year ago


Gillian Kaplan 1 year ago

Sounds terrible

Queen Nadine 1 year ago

MIL on the doormat, unthrowoutable.

Katy Reed 1 year ago

There was no panic with me, just sheer exhaustion for the first two weeks. After that we seemed to fugue out a routine. My baby is 7 weeks old now and I have never followed the “sleep when the baby sleeps” rule, except at night. I love when she naps! That’s when I can finally put the laundry away or clean up the kitchen!

Laura Paul Smith 1 year ago

Forgot to put the part about the engorged breasts. They are painful and the size of a summer watermelon. And the baby it hungry but she can’t get her mouth around your nipple because it is so engorged its bigger than her whole head and hard as a rock.

Jennifer Born 1 year ago

You got it perfectly!

Lindie Goodwin 1 year ago

I remember not having a shower until way past noon for at least the first few days until a pattern set in.

Jill Clothier Collom 1 year ago


Kelli Andrea 1 year ago

1st baby no worries….10 yes later 2nd baby….PANIC…..mostly because I am a full blown responsible adult this time around!

Kelli Andrea 1 year ago


Abby Strand 1 year ago

First baby yes! Subsequent babies – I got this!

Diana Livingston 1 year ago

18 more years to go? Try the. Rest of your life!
Even when they have their own children, you will still worry! And then there are the grands!

Carol Kennedy 1 year ago

Take a deep breath and when family comes and they say what can I do to help Give them a List!

Kathryn Parker 1 year ago

I loved going home. Was so tired of the nurses bothering me and taking my baby! Plus, mine has slept all night since he was born – 6 weeks early and now he’s almost 6. I won’t have another in fear of it not being that easy again lol

Tara Janssen 1 year ago

I wish I got to bring my last baby home. Instead I signed autopsy paperwork and walked out of the hospital empty handed. I couldn’t bear to go home because I knew I would be walking into a house full of baby stuff. I never heard her scream. I was met with silence. Instead of changing her nappy I was picking out her casket and instead of putting her to sleep I was picking out music to play at her funeral. That was my coming home from hospital……..

Hannah Chambers Trickett 1 year ago

Sounds about right!!

Wendy Hernandez 1 year ago

Couldn’t be more accurate!!

Marissa Porter 1 year ago

Yes, with twins. Panic x 2!

Carri Cater 1 year ago

The most prominent thing I remember about the first day home was walking inside, putting the baby in the bassinet, sitting on the couch and thinking “…so now what? What the hell am I supposed to do now?”

Shannon Fish 1 year ago

Dont forget start crying yourself because your so tired and the baby wont stop crying.

Gillian Brennan 1 year ago

Sadly this was day 1…it got better but I always forgot,to sleep

Chereen Swarts 1 year ago

So true!

Molly Dean 1 year ago

This is all true!

Lesley Grady 1 year ago

The first night…yes! But instincts kicked in the next day. I did remain tired for about 6 months, though :-)

Monica Augustine 1 year ago

Next follow-up – what’ it’s like to bring the second baby home.. SO different from the first!!!… except the carseat – that still is like putting a mouse into an elephant cage…

Lacey Goodman 1 year ago

And cry… cry a lot. Happy, scared, loving tears

Linda Ode 1 year ago

Lol! Perfect.

Shannon Knox 1 year ago

Oddly my kid slept like a total champ the first night in the hospital. And all the next day. We got home then she proceeded to scream through the night for 11 hours straight! It’s like she knew to only shell shock us when we got home. What the hell?!

Kailea W Pitts 1 year ago

My son is 7..not 7 months old but 7 years old and I still feel like this most days! He has slept through the night maybe a month total since birth. At the end of the day I am just happy that we made it another day. I wouldn’t trade my life for anything though. No matter what struggles and mishaps are thrown in my way, my son is the reason I look forward to another day of chaos! I’ve been blessed. <3

Saara Simmons 1 year ago

None of this.

Robbie Nehring 1 year ago

I never felt that way. Besides when my firstborn , a boy, was 2 weeks old I came down with Influenza. 105 temp and couldn’t be near him, admittedly I didn’t want to be ne’er him. I was wSy to sick to care. My mom lived next door, a god send !

Kat Hei 1 year ago

Have you been watching me and my family? This is pretty much how it worked.

Tricia Summers 1 year ago

Pretty much!

Bumps n Baby.Com 1 year ago

Haha toughest job in the world

Kellyrose Weibel 1 year ago

Yes. Yes to all.

Ranissa Nikkol Peacock 1 year ago

Sounds spot on, luckily by baby three it’s nearly a walk in park

Shenoah Clegg 1 year ago

I was in too much shock to panic the first time around. The second time, I was “whatever. Somebody hold the baby. I need a nap.”

Amber Cochran Denoux 1 year ago

My babies were with me 24/7. The hospital had no nursery except for the NICU. And my babies were fine. I was glad to be home.

Clare Jeffrey 1 year ago


Becky Hill 1 year ago

Not familiar at all. I gave birth in a free standing birth center.

Suzy Weinberg Snyder 1 year ago

So glad my baby days are over my youngest is 3 my oldest 12 and a 10 year old in the middle. Would never want to go back to the newborn stage again

Jacoba L Bouma 1 year ago

Hilarious! So true!!!

Laura Costello St James 1 year ago

I loved being in the hospital! I’m always surprised by people who are anxious to get discharged.

Angela Turgeon 1 year ago

Lol yes except the hospitals around here don’t have nurseries and you take care of the baby all by yourself. I got zero sleep! Plus no one wheeled me anywhere, I got the 5th floor in labour and back to the car by myself. At home we had more help since there were people to hold the baby but I loved the hot meals brought to me plus all the laundry I didn’t have to do!

Sarah 1 year ago

Pretty funny! Except I think this may only apply to the first kid. At least for me. The only one I felt with the baby #3 was feeling like a strange man in a strange land when I got home. There was no panicking though.

Krystal L. Holderied 1 year ago

That first night with my first child was the scariest night of my life! Every little noise or move she made, I hit my husband and said “I think some thing’s wring!” We both were a wreck. But we got through it and got used to her normal noises and not – normal noises and by the time our son came along, I had enough confidence not to freak out over every little thing. Its a process, or as I like to tell my friends without kids, baptism by fire.

Jennifer Bender 1 year ago

I loved being home after my daughter was born. It meant no more poking and prodding it also meant we were in our own bed. And it was finally quiet! :-) I never panicked not even once.

Tania Mitchell 1 year ago

Bahaha sounds about right. But yes you should include change the diaper about 15 times lol

Jessie Haws 1 year ago

The baby crying? I mostly remember ME crying hysterically lol

Amy Morgan 1 year ago

It was more peaceful when we got home! There was no nurse wheeling in the baby to bond, babies rooming in at our hospital was encouraged… And not to mention the barrage of nurses that are constantly in and out of your room to check on you… I hated being in the hospital.

Shelby Rae Elliott 1 year ago

You forgot the hourly diaper changes.

Samantha Hamburger 1 year ago

I find the first day home calming. So much easier to be home then constantly surrounded by nurses.

Linsi Rose Wick 1 year ago

I have twins & it wasn’t this bad! Lol

Ashley Dawn Banskter 1 year ago

Add bottle washing ,cleaning and trying to shower lol and cooking

Maggie Sacco 1 year ago

No to all except the stranger in a strange land – oh wait — I loved the hospital and wanted to move in. Jeez, I’ve had it so easy and I can’t believe people keep having kids after all of these horrifying posts about the hellishness of pregnancy and babies. Nature is a force, that’s for sure.

Telula Hogan 1 year ago

Sounds about right lol

Valerie Ann 1 year ago

Coming home was nothing like that – we came home and had to replace our oven that had crapped the bed while I gave birth – oiy!

Cin Scott 1 year ago

Yep, I remember this….sort of. I’ve blocked a lot of it out.

Nom DePlume 1 year ago

The hospital was a nightmare, the trip home was a nightmare – things only started to normalize when I could just take care of the baby in my own house on my own. I wonder how you all got through your childhood with no exposure to babies – I was fine with my newborn, and the amazing age of 21, once I got away from everyone trying to make my life miserable.

Vicky Waldron López 1 year ago

Nope…not me. The hospital was the worst place because I couldn’t get any rest at all. I did get to sleep probably 2 hours after I went to my room after giving birth only to be woken up by the nurse to check my legs for clots (I have a blood clotting disorder) and then they brought baby in to nurse (I let them give him a bottle at the beginning because I was so exhausted that I thought I would literally drop him). Then I had nurses hovering over me telling me how to nurse him and I’m self-conscious about things like that so it was very uncomfortable. I was so ready to go home. Baby slept in a cradle next to the bed and eventually we just bedshared. So much better!

Aimee Ryan Magee 1 year ago

Absolutely! With all four! Although with my last one (the third and fourth were 15 and 16 YEARS after the second), I confessed to myself that it was OKAY to have my son stay in the hospital nursery the first night (although it was only four hours before I had to have him in my arms again) and that I DID want that second night in the hospital.

Jessi Endsley Ritter 1 year ago

I just brought mine home last Wednesday and I must say I’m relieved that I’m not the only one to have that exact first day! Lol

Dawn Bent 1 year ago

I never felt like I had a lot of help in either hospital I gave birth in. I felt kind on my own as soon as they stitched up my vagina and wheeled baby and I into our recovery room.

SC Moore 1 year ago

What about all the diapers?

Laura Rivera 1 year ago

It’s supposed to be funny people. Jeez. Maybe you didn’t panic but your have no sense of humor.

Brianna Rood 1 year ago

Not quite as much panicking…insert more crying (from me) not as much crying (from her) and sounds about right ha!

Allison Horst 1 year ago

BAHAHAHAHHA so true!!!

Sue 1 year ago

18 years?!?! Ha ha ha good luck with that, let me know how you did it!

Samantha Arthur 1 year ago

My first day homewas like nothing changed for me..i sat on the couch baby in bassinet and drank a hot chocolate…withmy.son..same idea..

Kellie Scarbrough 1 year ago

When we got home my baby was 4 hours old :). We went to bed and my mom made sure we were all set for the night. It was lovely. The midwives made us feel great as we were getting ready to leave.

Sally M Walden 1 year ago

Did anyone mention the amazing (riiiight) first poop after childbirth? Oh, good times.

Marta Masselink Bartoniec 1 year ago

I can’t relate to it at all.We didn’t panic once! Thank god I did’t read it before I delivered otherwise I would probably be panicking.To all to be moms out there -it is not as bad,and you will figure out what your baby wants, instincts works pretty amazing with a little ones!

Shiela Lee Schick 1 year ago

Not even close to my experience. There was so many family and friends around that first day

Louise Miller 1 year ago

What does the baby have in its mouth? (In the UK and never seen anything like it before!)

Jen Barnard 1 year ago

Lol I love this

Samantha Tandle 1 year ago

Always trying to scare ppl

Thor Volokwyn 1 year ago

Our daughter was born on the eve of the ice storm in Toronto last December. Her first day home the power went out (and was out for 4 days) at 3am. We then spent the next few days couch-hopping with our newborn. Fun.

Hannah Horsch 1 year ago

I can’t remember my first day home. I was too sick and they sent me home too soon. ;_; This time I WILL remember it because I’ll just refuse to leave if the room is still spinning or I know I’m not ready. lol

Kim Smits Foster 1 year ago

My hospital stay when I had my baby was THE LAST TIME I felt cared for. I was treated like a Queen!

Jan 1 year ago

Oh my gosh. Me too. I was in labor for 15 hours, was awake 3 hours before that, and the nurses put him in my room as soon as he was born and just left me there. The maternity floor wasn’t even busy. The nurses were just lazy. I didn’t get any sleep for the FOUR days they made me stay.

Miranda Sneddon 1 year ago

Maybe because I have siblings 14&17 years younger than me I never felt any sense of panic when bringing my first home. Panic didn’t come until #2 when my husband went back to work 3 days after she was born and I had to quickly figure out how to balance a 2 year old and a newborn. Same with #3 he went back to work 2 days later and I was left with a 4 year old 2 year old and newborn for 12-14 hours a day.

Talia Gabay-Mizrachi 1 year ago

Ha! Pretty accurate….

Olga Biondi 1 year ago

yeah, that’s about right

Nancy Welker Fortais 1 year ago

Seems just like yesterday! My baby will be seventeen tomorrow.

Jen MacGregor 1 year ago

Not at all. Base hospital doesnt have a nursery so my son only left my room to have his scans and be weighed and circ. No sleep at all in the hospital until we could finally get home and get to co sleeping (: from there out no problems!

Roxanne Ford 1 year ago

No, none of it, to start with I was out the same day, so no breakfast, you are always with your baby in English hospitals, no nurseries and people doing it for you at night, I was home at 7pm, she slept an hour from the car ride. I fed her and changed her minus the panic. We slept when she did. I got hubby to make me lots of coffee while I was feeding. I didn’t panic watching her sleep, I was just so content listening to her breathing as I fell to sleep. We’re not all nervous wrecks after having a baby.

Laura Crawford 1 year ago

Sounds about right.

Sarah Trzynka 1 year ago

I didn’t panic about much of it. I just wanted to GO HOME (I didn’t like the staff much with my first). Second kid was fine, a much nicer staff and we could go home sooner :)

Nichele Hunt 1 year ago

Lol and I’ll be looking forward to this times two!

Laurie Hunt 1 year ago

You forgot the never ending parade of people that want to come see the baby 30 seconds after you get in the door!

Noor Haryati 1 year ago

I was discharged the next day and my husband drop me off home and I was alone with my baby! No one was there for me and it makes me sad. Now that little baby is going to turn 5 two weeks from now. Time flies! :)

Sage Gordon 1 year ago

Nothing like my 1st day! Home birth (at my midwifes house). Surrounded by caring experienced supportive women and my rockstar husband! Left when we were ready and came home to family ❤️

Andi Lappin 1 year ago

What’s this sleep thing they are talking about? My baby didn’t sleep a wink the first night until she passed out in mommy’s arms and mommy passed out on the couch…

Hanners Inpajammers 1 year ago

Serious question:

Do you HAVE to use an infant carseat, or can you use the convertible carseat as long as it’s already installed into the car?

Marie Plueger 1 year ago

I never panicked…until her stump fell off after only 5 days…but all was fine after that! Second baby was a breeze bringing home LoL

Amber Cochran Denoux 1 year ago

I would say I didn’t feel panic over any of this except watching my son sleep. We tried for 3 years before we got pregnant with him and i felt pretty comfortable with him.

Rheanna Rocha 1 year ago

Haha no. My baby screamed all night and no one slept in the hospital or at home and I didn’t get to eat or do anything in the hospital because she was THAT baby who wouldn’t stop screeching. That was basically how the next 6-9 months went

Kara Marianetti Elum 1 year ago

Sounds about right!

Cali Stern 1 year ago

I don’t think I ever panicked.

Jessica Owens 1 year ago


Samm Weldon Wilkinson 1 year ago

Yup. That’s exactly right.

Paola Berdichevsky 1 year ago


Michelle Drauszewski Rannells 1 year ago

Not one mention of a diaper…haha…those first poops are so much fun!

Alisha Brokaw 1 year ago

Word for word !! Except I found time to shove some pretzels in my mouth in between feedings & I also obsessively changed her diaper !!

Dani McCormack 1 year ago

So so true!

Jessica Collins 1 year ago

Pretty much!

Kafrin Rachel Conder 1 year ago

So. True.

The Animated Woman 1 year ago

LOL It doesn’t stop at 18 years.

Tina 1 year ago

Agreed…although when it’s first happening you get totally freaked out because you don’t know what to expect. But once they start sleeping through the night you’re like, Oh I can do this. Bring it on!

Tina 1 year ago

It’s funny, because my whole thing wasn’t unpacking, but I completely forgot to pack a hospital bag to begin with. I had been putting it off for so long, and she ended up being late, so I was like oh I have time to pack. Before I know it, I was going to the hospital at 1130 at night with no bag. Had to send the hubby back to get one, and it was all the wrong things lol of course…that’s what I get.

Tina 1 year ago

Yes, I do remember that oh-so-well. I remember being in the hospital after my daughter was born and they won’t let you go home unless you do #2. I was in a lot of pain (btw, wearing a big huge after-birth pad AND an ice pack does not feel amazing). So I’m sitting there, like no I don’t want to because it’s going to hurt, but yes I must if I want to go home! I was so proud of myself when I actually did!!

Marie 1 year ago

RIGHT?! I was in the hospital three days, and felt like I was already losing my mind from sleep deprivation. It was actually a huge relief to get home and not have people barging in the room all the time.

Suzi 1 year ago

Haha! I am almost 5 weeks PP and my bub and I’s suitcases are still kicking around in my bedroom waiting to be unpacked!! I find cuddling him so much more interesting! lol

Allie 1 year ago

The posts everyone wrote are so true lol. I wish I had of known any of this after our first…everyone invited themselves over the DAY we came home…which yes, in theory sounds so nice..but honestly you are just so exhausted you want to just be alone and sleep while the baby is sleeping…instead, everyone sits in front of you adn talks and keeps you and the baby awake. It isn’t helping it just makes you more tired, more irritable and more exhausted……then tell you “oh I had kids and i’m fine”. I don’t care if you had kids too. I am beat and I want to rest, LEAVE lol..and take your mess with you so I’m not stuck washing a kitchen full of dishes and empty all of your coffee cups and garbage for an hour.
There should be a cardinal rule of having a baby..no one is allowed over the first two weeks.
If only husbands understood this as well..they just dont get it

zebes 1 year ago

Oh gosh this is so true lol

Thea 2 years ago

Add spending 8 days in the hospital post c-section due to a blood infection, arriving home at 9pm at night only to be up at 5:45a the next day to meet your IV infusion nurse for TRAINING on how to run your own antibiotics every 6 hours for the next two weeks. It’s a miracle I didn’t accidentally kill myself with the whole process.

Helen at Casa Costello 2 years ago

Brilliant! I still have fond memories of weeing with my little finger under the cold tap to help it come on those first few days. And there is nothing like the panic of arriving home with baby in its car seat, plonking it in the middle of the living room floor and staring at it, wondering what happens next.

Cass 2 years ago

I’m glad you said this! I’m 3 weeks postpartum, and when I read “unpack”, I thought about my still half-full hospital bag still sitting next to the front door. I’ve only taken out what I’ve needed in the days being back!

DianeMargaret Miller 2 years ago

Yup!!! That’s about it! LOL
I had a Caesarean so it was harder to do some things too!
I had a bassinet on wheels and it was PRICELESS!!!
I wheeled her around with me, all over the apartment!!! :)
It was especially great when she was only 3 months old and I had to have knee surgery!!!
Didn’t trust myself to carry her…what if I tripped up?!!

HS 2 years ago

I’ll never forget that! My husband and I were so sleep deprived and delirious at the hospital, he had himself convinced they were intentionally being mean.

Natasha 2 years ago

I remember hoping that a nurse or two would follow me home. I was a single mommy with my first. I changed diapers, ate slept and breastfed all from the comfort of my bed .

just JENNIFER 2 years ago

Hahaha! So funny and so true!

Aimee 2 years ago

Were you spying on me 12 years ago? Because you described our first night home like a play-by-play. Especially the part about all the crying, followed by me not being able to sleep because I was transfixed with frettingly watching my baby breathe. ALL. NIGHT. LONG.

shontelle 2 years ago

All of this so true lool I went into labour with my daughter now 7 in the middle of night like after midnight everyone was asleep, my water broke woke both me and hubby up he swore I wet the bed lol then the first contraction hit she arrived two weeks before expected her due date

It was panic from that first moment we thought she was going to be born premature

we called the hospital and requested an ambulance like our doctor told us in case of emergency my pregnancy was a bit difficult from the begining

they told us don’t panic there aren’t ambulances available?

Lol more panic lol
Hubby cussed out the poor woman on the phone and then he ran outside and miraculously flagged down a taxi
the driver got us there safely despite my screaming his ear off during the contractions lool

I had her at 7am the next morning lool my mom still talks about how crazy that night was and I still have no idea where my pajamas disappeared to that I went to the hospital in I can only remember they were soaked because my water broke and they were fav set cause my hubby bought them for me and they were extra comfy

momofeveryone 2 years ago

when this 3rd one comes out im getting an ambian and going to sleep! i know when i get home its going to be a disaster!

Marta 2 years ago

Yup, sounds about right.

I’m so looking forward to doing it again one day and dreading the fact that it will be the last time. And yes, you panic, EVERY TIME.

michelle burdick 2 years ago

My kids are all bigger and you just about gave me a heart attack with this post! Crazy how those feelings can be brought back so easily.

jessica H 2 years ago

first child….YES! All of this, except I wanted her in the hospital room with me because I just didn’t know any better.

second child…The babe was wheeled back to the nursery as soon as the sun started to set. My night shift nurse and I had an understanding. She brought “sleepy time” pills inside a tiny cup and turned the lights off as she left the room. HA!

Jessica Smock 2 years ago

Our first day home from the hospital the baby didn’t sleep until 3 a.m. Then the cat started howling. (He had been freaked out by the presence of new baby and annoyed at being alone for more than five days while we were in the hospital for our c-section stay.) We literally didn’t sleep for more than 30 minutes. We also had a pediatrician appointment at 9 a.m. the next morning. My husband and I were delirious. The doctor was STILL not impressed by our dramatic first night. He nodded his head at our “first day home” story and sort of shrugged.

Nan 2 years ago

And THAT, my dears, is why I booked myself into a lovely maternity hospital for THREE DAYS when my third baby was born. I rang that bell for every nappy change, ordered cups of tea, and laughed merrily when they said “This isn’t a hotel, you know!” I knew what home would be like, with two toddlers waiting.

prince bhalani 2 years ago

ha ha ha, lolz….this website is really very informative i’ll going to bookmark this.

Laura 2 years ago

Oh my goodness, that is all SO true! And yet my favorite panic moment wasn’t actually me, it was my father. When my daughter was about 2 weeks old, my mom and husband and I went out shopping for less than half an hour. We came home to my father standing at the changing table with a naked, squalling baby lying there and an expression of panic on his face that I will never to my dying day forget. Hee! That was payback for practically every unpleasant thing from my entire childhood. :) (He was, needless to say, of the generation where dads NEVER helped out with babies, which made it even more fun!)

Stephanie (www.whencrazymeetsexhaustion.com) 2 years ago

Bahahaha! This is priceless! And SO TRUE! Sharing it with my girls who just had their first babies. In the name of humor, not support 😉

Sandy 2 years ago

Most of the panic stuff is spot on, but we had the additional screams of my baby, because she was starving (not everyone can nurse, it turns out, despite the propaganda — and yes, I met with lactation counselors, la leche fans). After being treated for dehydration she was much calmer (as was I), but she still didn’t sleep for the extended periods we’d been led to expect. Baby number two was such a solid sleeper that I kept freaking out. (Ten years later restless baby has ADHD and solid sleeper is still hard to roll out of bed.)

Michelle Saunderson 2 years ago

You forgot to mention that terrible tar like substance in the diaper the first few days. Worst diaper changes ever.

Jess 2 years ago

Nobody warned me about the torrential first period. I thought I was dying!

Tanya 2 years ago

Yep! Panic is a good word to describe being alone with the new baby. I had absolutely no clue what I was doing.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Yes yes yes. That was me… Everyone tells you to “sleep when the baby sleeps” … but that was about the only time I felt that I could somewhat release some of my watchfulness. I got really good at tilting my head back and falling asleep while breastfeeding…

Kelly 2 years ago

Oh yes! Everyone come on over and celebrate! Sure you can hold the baby while it sleeps and expect me to play hostess in my pajamas! Yep, as soon as the baby wakes up, I know you’ll have to leave and I’m stuck with extra mess and a screaming baby! no, I don’t need to change my soaked pad or sleep or shower! yes, I can hold my poop for a week! haha, loved all of this!

Theresa 2 years ago

This was me exactly but x2. After I had my twins, my hubby had to go back to work. So for a week straight without him, dealing with one colicky baby and the other just wanting my attention the first 1yr was quiet a blur.

Amy (My Real Life) 2 years ago

We were released in the afternoon and when we were sitting down to dinner (which my father-in-law graciously cooked and brought over) I sat at the table and cried and cried and cried. I had no idea what I was doing. My poor father-in-law and husband thought I had lost my mind, but they gave me 30 minutes to cry, I got it out and moved on. 12 years and 4 kids later, I’ve learned that every time I think I have this parenting thing down, they throw me a new curveball. It’s a delicious kinda crazy.

Nagehan @ Contemporary Mother 2 years ago

Thank god my Turkish mother will be here to save me from all the insanity waiting for me after we return from the hospital.

Heather 2 years ago

That story just gave me anxiety. Really, my heart is pounding!

The Next Step 2 years ago

LOL, so true, so true. I think about stuff like this when we got pregnant for the 2nd time and thought we knew what we were getting into and could handle it better. We got twins.

I keep wondering when nature will kick in and I’ll forget all the hard parts about those first 6 months.

Kristin @ What She Said 2 years ago

It’s funny ‘cuz it’s true! The fear I felt driving home from the hospital was unlike any I’ve ever known. I remember it so well – it was practically palpable. I think I cried the whole way home.

And during my first outing four days later for my daughter’s first doctor’s visit, I was so clueless about how to work the car seat that I ended up detaching it from the base entirely. My mom had to run inside and find a stranger – a dad who’d been at this parenting thing a lot longer than me – to come out to the car and help us fix it. And I once again sat in the backseat and cried.

Mama D 2 years ago

When I had my first, my crazy roommate from the hospital’s entire extended family would never go home, so I NEVER got any sleep (between them and the nurses coming in and out all the %&$% time.) I was completely exhausted before I even got home from the hospital! (and then in a mad state of panic for about four weeks!)

Talia 2 years ago

Nahh, my first day home went. Feed Baby, put baby to bed, and then mommy went to bed for a solid ten hours while daddy did bottle feedings. I had a C-Section and holy shit did it suck. I was SO sore!

Traci 2 years ago

LOL! I remember sitting on the toilet after my first crying so hard because I didn’t want to poop but had to! No one warned me about episiotomy pain!!

Tiffani 2 years ago

When I had my son, the nurses kept me from sleeping. Every hour someone would walk in the room to see how we were doing, make sure I was hydrated, and peeing. They were very nice but I just wanted to sleep. Four days of that made me a bit crazy.

Farhana 2 years ago

Omg, this made me laugh alot! My little girl is 2 next month and it reminded me of exactly what I done when we got home!

Beth 2 years ago

If it’s any consolation, you’ll be just fine. Newborns are actually easier than I thought, in hind sight!

Beth 2 years ago

So true! I was very fortunate to have my mom, who was also a NICU nurse in her day, stay with us for three days after my son was born. She kept saying she didn’t know what she was doing there since we didn’t need her, but believe me, it was great having an old pro there. Plus she did an emergency pharmacy run when I thought my nipples were going to fall off if I nursed my son one more time.

Momchalant 2 years ago

You forgot to add the hysterical crying somewhere in there.

Melissa 2 years ago

the first 10 minutes in the house with our daughter had a poop explosion! It was EVERYWHERE! We just cut the onesie off her it was that bad! I knew where everything was up in her room like diapers and wipes but my husband didn’t. I had it all set up in the bassinette with the little diaper holder thing and everything… so we were yelling back and forth to each other while freaking out… he finally comes out with the entire bassinette! It was hysterical! We laugh about it now, but we were in total panic with baby poop all over the place! LOL! :)

Amy 2 years ago

Yes except I didn’t have the luxury of having the baby wheeled into the room in the morning. He roomed in with me so I went home sleep deprived after five days in a hospital room that was across from the busiest nursing station in the world.

Melissa 2 years ago

LOL! Or the in-laws question EVERYTHING you and your husband are doing and think that you guys are really the new cast of “19 and pregnant” though you are 35!! And then want to stay for dinner… and oh, your brother-in-laws and sister-in-laws were invited too… and you can’t even sit down at the table because A. you had a c-section just a few days ago B. you really need to go to the bathroom but you are so backed up thanks to all the crap they pump you with in the hospital C. you have a crying baby attached to your boob and you still haven’t gotten the whole breastfeeding thing down and oh, D. you are friggin tired!!!

Aimee 2 years ago

yep. all four times.

Amy @ Baby Nosh 2 years ago

So so so true!

Amy @ Baby Nosh 2 years ago

My little guy’s coming any day now, and the panic is already setting in. This made me laugh.

Anita@ Losing Austin 2 years ago

My favorite one was walking through your home like a strange man in a strange land – I was expecting the rest, but feeling like my whole world had changed and I no longer recognized home was odd!

Maura 2 years ago

So true! The hospital “discharged” me in the morning, and we didn’t leave until 4pm because I still hadn’t gotten my final orders from the nurse, was still waiting on the pump we rented from the lactation center, and was insistent on taking a shower. It was a very stressful day.
One thing I would change from the sequence above is the “Get unpacked and wonder what to do next”. I don’t think I unpacked for three weeks!

Elsie Williams 2 years ago

bahahaha! THAT ABOUT COVERS IT! :)

Rachael 2 years ago

You forgot to add that the in-laws will show up and insist on helping but you have no idea what you are doing, let alone how to have them help.

Astra 2 years ago

Haha! Funny, sad, true … all in one. Now the next story is when hubby goes back to work after baby is born and you truly are all alone with your baby. NEW kind of panic :)


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