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Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy

What started as an innocent on-line baby book to chronicle Jill's stay-at-home days with her children, (Lily, Ben, and Evan) quickly transformed into a vibrant community of parents, brought together by a common theme: Parenting doesn’t have to be perfect. Learn more here.

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Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)

Dear Judgy Mothers on My Website… - June 15, 2013
10 Skills Every Mother Should Possess - June 10, 2013
Perfection (Or pretty close) - June 3, 2013

Last year, Jeff had pneumonia. He was feverish and sore and tired and all around completely miserable. As the doctor gave him instructions for the next few weeks, he pathetically moaned, why me?

I have to sleep alone?

I have to stay home?

I have to be quiet?

What did I do to deserve this, he cried.

Yesterday, I too, was diagnosed with pneumonia after a couple days of feeling crappy culminated in shortness of breath that scared me enough to get my ass to Urgent Care. After my x-rays and blood work, the doctor sternly gave me my orders:

Stay in bed as much as you possibly can.

Don’t allow your husband or children in the bed with you.

Don’t share food or drinks with anybody.

Take lots of long steam showers.

Talk as little as possible.

Take lots of naps.

Beware that the Tylenol with Codeine will make you “loopy.”

Just do as little as you possibly can for as long as possible.

Do you have any questions, he asked as he was finishing up my chart.

Yes, I responded, with glee.

Why me? What did I do to deserve this?!

Around the web

{ 83 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Lynn from For Love or Funny October 29, 2011 at 9:56 am

Oh Jill, I hope you are feeling better soon!
Lynn from For Love or Funny recently posted..Is it wrong to paint your dog neon pink?

2 a Book for My Daughter October 29, 2011 at 9:56 am

I wasn’t exactly sure where you were headed with this story, but as soon as I got half-way through your list of things you couldn’t do, it dawned on my that this prognosis definitely has it’s upside.

Personally, I always know that I need a serious break from my kids and husband when I watch a movie where a character is in jail reading, I actually think to myself “That doesn’t look that bad!” I guess I’m thinking the same thing about your pneumonia.

I do hope you feel better quickly, but enjoy the quiet and the sleep!
a Book for My Daughter recently posted..I’m Not Really Here Today!

3 Gigi October 29, 2011 at 8:14 pm: Ha! I have done that on far too many occasions!
Gigi recently posted..Just WHO do I talk to about that?

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4 Sunday October 29, 2011 at 9:57 am

Wow! Talk about a blessing in disguise! I think the doctor also forgot to mention that you should eat all of your meals in bed.
Sunday recently posted..In which my son fillets his bed like a fish

5 Brandy P October 29, 2011 at 10:00 am

But not TOO soon ;)

6 Kim at Let Me Start By Saying October 29, 2011 at 10:01 am

Yay for pneumonia!
I had bronchitis so bad last winter, and it took me so long to realize I had it (read: didn’t notice I couldn’t breathe), that the doctors made me basically lay around being served like a queen.
Other than the whole unable-to-breathe thing?
It was AWESOME.

Get well soon (or as soon as you feel fully rested & pampered)!
Kim at Let Me Start By Saying recently posted..How to Get Rich & Thin in 2 Easy Steps!

7 vanillasugarblog October 29, 2011 at 10:02 am

oh momma.
please take this rest thing seriously ok?
this pneumonia shit is serious; it’s hard to get rid of if you don’t take care of yourself.
lots of fresh vit c, not the pills, the fruit dammit.
feel better and chin up.
vanillasugarblog recently posted..Giveaway! Bakers Field Guide Books

8 Kim October 29, 2011 at 10:10 am

Glad you’re having fun with the meds! Unfortunately that stuff just makes me a weepy, sensitive, mushy mess. Feel better soon!

9 Lauren October 29, 2011 at 10:12 am

Oh, I am seething with jealousy. Sounds like a spa vacation! (But, do get better soon!!)

10 Brittany Baughman October 29, 2011 at 10:18 am

Can I come stay with you for a while and share a drink…from the same cup? I need a spa vacation…something fierce! Why not me?
Brittany Baughman recently posted..Being A Single Mom Kinda Sucks

11 SoberJulie October 29, 2011 at 10:18 am

Huh where do I sign up? Exhaustion, inability to breathe….might be worth a bit of silence ;)
Wishing you a speedy recovery my queen!
SoberJulie recently posted..2 Hours & 13 Minutes

12 Kim October 29, 2011 at 10:24 am

LOL. Only a mother could appreciate this post.

13 Christine@TheCupcakeBandits October 29, 2011 at 10:30 am

I hope you feel better real soon darlin! Have fun on your vacation…..I mean make sure you take this sickness VERY seriously.
Christine@TheCupcakeBandits recently posted..Believe in Bedazzlement

14 Callie October 29, 2011 at 10:35 am

Can I come over and can you cough on me? Wait, is pneumonia bad for pregnant ladies? If it isn’t can you still cough on me? Or share a Dr. Pepper with me?

Feel better but until then enjoy being waited on and I hope you get some mad peace and quiet!

15 Jaime October 29, 2011 at 10:45 am

ENJOY!!!!

16 Marinka October 29, 2011 at 11:06 am

Mazel Tov! (Feel better soon!)
Marinka recently posted..A Few Words

17 Kat October 29, 2011 at 11:08 am

I know that you feel crappy and I’m sorry for that but, boy oh boy, I love those doctor’s orders. I could use some therapy like that so please cough on me…..please…..
Kat recently posted..Cottage Life

18 Brenda Hatch October 29, 2011 at 11:12 am

Can I have pneumonia too, please?!

19 Carpool Goddess October 29, 2011 at 11:29 am

LOL, it’s all about perspective, right? Hope you feel better soon, but not too soon, if you know what I mean. Maybe breakfast in bed, too. Make the mini vacay last a while :)
Carpool Goddess recently posted..I love the self-checkout at the supermarket. Had no idea using the scanner would…

20 Merri October 29, 2011 at 11:36 am

At least you will get better – please also spare a thought for those of us that won’t.

21 Robin | Farewell, Stranger October 29, 2011 at 11:41 am

Milk it for all it’s worth, baby. ;)
Robin | Farewell, Stranger recently posted..10 Signs It’s Been Too Long Since Your Last Run

22 Domesticated Gal October 29, 2011 at 11:41 am

Can you come cough in my direction? PLEASE???
Domesticated Gal recently posted..The Consequences of Sleeping In…

23 wisecracknmama October 29, 2011 at 11:56 am

If that’s the treatment for pneumonia, I really need to contract me some of that.

24 Laura Wright @ The ODD Mom October 29, 2011 at 12:27 pm

Words can’t even begin to describe the extent of my jealousy. Some people have all the luck. ;-)
Laura Wright @ The ODD Mom recently posted..Code "Bear"

25 Rachel {at} Mommy Needs a Vacation October 29, 2011 at 1:03 pm

I’m so sorry you feel like crap but what you are being ordered to do sounds fantastic.
Rachel {at} Mommy Needs a Vacation recently posted..Things I’ve Done

26 Mary Alford-Carman October 29, 2011 at 1:37 pm

Being sick IS the only time you can have a break, but what a way to go! Even when I’m sick I have to hide and pretend I’m not home or I’ll never rest. Bless their hearts. Hope you’ll be on the mend soon.

27 Missy October 29, 2011 at 1:44 pm

I always say being sick is a catch 22. You feel like crap but then you get a free excuse to lay in bed, do nothing, be by yourself and SLEEP.
I hope you feel better.
Enjoy your time alone. =)
Missy recently posted..Where Do I Get All Those Coupons?

28 highlyirritable October 29, 2011 at 2:05 pm

If I mail you a handkerchief, would you please cough into it and send it back?

I’ll included return postage.

(And feel better soon.)
highlyirritable recently posted..It’s better now. Every song used to end with the first chords of “Smoke on the Water.”

29 Elena @CiaoMom October 29, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Feel better—(and enjoy the respite!)–
Elena @CiaoMom recently posted..Preparing for a Parent Teacher Conference

30 Shell October 29, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Sorry to hear you are so sick- but damn, enjoy the forced quiet!
Shell recently posted..Superhero Cape Giveaway from Babypop Designs

31 Life with kaishon October 29, 2011 at 3:35 pm

Oh no Jill! I hope you get lots of rest. Enjoy the quiet. Usually moms have to work right through their sickness….but dads baby it up when they are sick.
Life with kaishon recently posted..Jay + Tiffany + Jayla = a very big love {Philadelphia Family Photographer}

32 angelica October 29, 2011 at 3:59 pm

can I get in the bed with you? … I could do with a case of “stay in bed, do as little as possible and don’t let anyone near you”
angelica recently posted..OWS’ main achievement: unveiling a weak rule of law

33 Shannan October 29, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Hmmm… Perhaps I should feign pneumonia.

34 Regina October 29, 2011 at 4:03 pm

Oh no! I hope you get better.

But man, that sounds like a great mommy vacation to be alone, quiet, sleeping.
Regina recently posted..I Heart Mega Coupon Deals

35 Nan October 29, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Wow! Get well soon, my dear… I hope you have lots of good books to read? And don’t forget, chocolate is known to speed recovery from chesty coughs. (No, I totally did not make that up. True fact.)
Nan recently posted..Things in London Pockets

36 Jen October 29, 2011 at 6:06 pm

Sweetie, I hope that you actually can follow all of the doctor’s orders and get yourself better. :-)

37 Kimberly October 29, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Come over and infect me, please! Then get well soon!
Kimberly recently posted..Driving With Dogs (Or, Why Dogs Should Always Wear Seat Belts)

38 Jess October 29, 2011 at 6:39 pm

Oh pneumonia is terrible! But those doctor’s orders? Not so terrible!
Jess recently posted..A Birthday Celebration

39 Kate Coveny Hood October 29, 2011 at 7:12 pm

I have very fond memories of the three days after my abdominal surgery last spring. ‘Nuff said.

40 Mommy2be October 29, 2011 at 7:37 pm

I feel your pain. I had pneumonia as a teen and had to be hospitalized for almost a week. It was the most horrible thing ever, I don’t wish it to anybody. Hope you feel well soon!

41 Gigi October 29, 2011 at 8:15 pm

Follow the doctor’s orders TO THE LETTER.

Yup, as a mom, I can sense a mini vacay when I see one.

But, seriously, get well.
Gigi recently posted..Just WHO do I talk to about that?

42 Seriously Sassy Mama October 29, 2011 at 9:06 pm

Can I come see your doctor. I will travel from Texas for those orders.

43 Alison@Mama Wants This October 29, 2011 at 9:42 pm

Only you can make pneumonia sound attractive :)

Get well soon!
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..His Own Person

44 Stasha October 29, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Feel better soon, but milk it good while you are a bed hostage.
Stasha recently posted..Wanted cat

45 tracy October 29, 2011 at 11:09 pm

Oh hugs! Feel better. May I suggest an extended hotel stay in a suite with room service? I’m pretty sure that is the only way a mom can really rest. Thinking about you. xoxo
tracy recently posted..BOO! In the Blogosphere Halloween Costume Link-Up

46 Galit Breen October 29, 2011 at 11:24 pm

Hee! Feel better soon, Mama! But in the meantime-

The naps!

And the quiet!

And did I mention the naps?

xo
Galit Breen recently posted..22 Things I Have Done

47 Ally October 30, 2011 at 11:07 am

Hope you feel better, but, uh, enjoy some of that, okay?
I resisted going to urgent care and have been coughing up a lung for almost two weeks. I don’t think it’s pneumonia, but I do think it’s bronchitis. Viral bronchitis, which they wouldn’t do anything about. But maybe a diagnosis would have made my family realize I could not actually do everything they expect!
Ally recently posted..Homecoming Run Down

48 Carolyn October 30, 2011 at 11:38 am

Hope you feel better soon, and I would have the same response.
Carolyn recently posted..Craft Disasters, Soups, and Activity Pages

49 Kate with Twice Treasured October 30, 2011 at 1:30 pm

Congratulations? Get rested and feel better but enjoy the pampering in the process!
Kate with Twice Treasured recently posted..October in Pictures

50 Rebecca October 30, 2011 at 7:27 pm

I get that almost every year but it doesn’t make me feel too awful. Just sleepy and tired and …ya know sleepy. I cough a whole heaping lot too. And codeine is my very best friend.
Rebecca recently posted..Strasburg Children

51 Rebekah @ The Golden Gleam October 30, 2011 at 9:13 pm

Feel better soon but not too soon. ;)

I admit to kinda milking it after I had an outpatient surgery a couple years ago and relished the meals brought to me in bed and the time to just sit in front of the TV doing nothing and sleeping as long as wanted.
Rebekah @ The Golden Gleam recently posted..Mrs. and Little Miss Monsters

52 Another Suburban Mom October 30, 2011 at 9:24 pm

Ahhh, you think you’re going to get that rest, but unless you check into a hotel, its just not going to happen, doctor or no doctor.
Another Suburban Mom recently posted..My Number

53 Gayletrini October 30, 2011 at 10:42 pm

I agree with Suburban Mom you need to book yourself in a hotel room if you want to follow all those instructions. Hope you not feeling too lousy…get better quick.
Gayletrini recently posted..The agreement- be inspired

54 Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes October 31, 2011 at 5:27 am

I hope you feel better (not too) soon, but in the meantime, could you send me your snotty hankerchief? I could do with a rest too…
Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently posted..The wisdom of a 2,5 year old….

55 KalleyC October 31, 2011 at 9:03 am

Awww, you’re so lucky! Don’t do anything for as long as possible? That is a dream! I hope you do get well, and you get as much rest as you possibly can. Hope you get to enjoy your sick vacation.
KalleyC recently posted..Sunday Prayer: Music

56 Arnebya October 31, 2011 at 10:49 am

I know this was a few days ago, but I hope you’re feeling much better by now. I know the inability to cuddle the kids has you down, but there’s good news: I found lots and lots of cute leg warmers at Target (re your Tweet a few days ago)! (To which my oldest, 10, says, Mommy those are for girls my age. To which I gave her my best “I WAS the 80s, little girl, where are the headbands” face).
Arnebya recently posted..Writer’s Workshop: Just the Towel, Please

57 imperfectmomma October 31, 2011 at 11:14 am

Hope you feel better. But gotta ask; how wrong is it that I am jealous? ;)
imperfectmomma recently posted..don’t get sick

58 Carri October 31, 2011 at 11:56 am

Tylenol with codeine is the best thing about pneumonia!

Feel better soon!
Carri recently posted..Related: Unicorns, Glitter and Nutella

59 Fortuitous Housewife October 31, 2011 at 1:45 pm

Enjoy your naps & tranquility.
Hope your clan tends to your every need.
Hope you feel better soon.
Hope you can keep the ailing Mom ruse going for as long as you can/like.

60 The Flying Chalupa October 31, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Okay, aside from the scary diagnosis (don’t mess w/ pneumonia, Jill, PLEASE), the doctor’s instructions do sound fabulous.

I might just claim faux-monia, myself.

Feel better!

61 Julia's Child / Sarah P. November 1, 2011 at 8:27 am: Faux-monia! I love it.

Feel better, Jill
Julia’s Child / Sarah P. recently posted..Tomatoes Please. Hold the BPA.

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62 Johanna October 31, 2011 at 3:20 pm

LOL, enjoy your staycation and feel better soon!!
Johanna recently posted..Happy Halloween

63 TVs Take October 31, 2011 at 4:30 pm

UGH! So sorry to hear about your jerky germs! Hopefully you’ll catch up on all those cheesy lifetime movies or draft a million blog posts. :-)
Hope you feel better very very soon!
TVs Take recently posted..Happy?

64 Chris @ CleverFather October 31, 2011 at 7:36 pm

Boy that sounds great! ….except for the whole being sick thing…
Chris @ CleverFather recently posted..How I Fixed Our Toddlers Poor Sleep in 1 Night

65 Kara October 31, 2011 at 7:53 pm

LMAO. Feel better! But, not too soon.

66 No Drama Mama October 31, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Yep, that sounds exactly like me! I was thrilled to death when I got the flu last year.
No Drama Mama recently posted..Dear Mississippi Personhood Supporters: Women Are People Too

67 Jill November 1, 2011 at 12:11 pm

Oh man, you have gone me LONGING for pneumonia!!!!! Hope you are feeling better!
Jill recently posted..Halloween: Costume Edition!

68 James November 1, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Get out your stack of magazines.

69 Mrs TeePot November 1, 2011 at 3:12 pm

Oh no! Get well soon!

70 Paula @ thewilyweez November 2, 2011 at 1:16 pm

I hope you get some rest and that your husband takes good care of you!

71 Amber M's Mommy November 2, 2011 at 2:44 pm

I hope you are feeling better soon!! As good as all that well deserved rest sounds, we all know as soon as you lay down, your home will fall apart!!

72 June November 2, 2011 at 4:14 pm

I’d give anything for a few sick days! For now, I’ll muddle through with an annoying cold that doesn’t give me enough excuse to call in sick yet feel like crap at my desk all day long.
June recently posted..Makeup

73 Cassie November 2, 2011 at 4:41 pm: Isn’t that the way it normally goes? When the kiddos or husband are sick, they are on their death-bed and need constant care. You on the other hand, get a measly cold which gets you no sympathy or perks! I know the feeling. : (
Cassie recently posted..Pain has it’s Advantages

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74 Cassie November 2, 2011 at 4:39 pm

Oh man! I would kill for a case of pneumonia right about now. But I guess our house should be limited to one illness at a time-that quota is filled at this point. Can I save my pneumonia for when it would be more convenient?
Cassie recently posted..Pain has it’s Advantages

75 Mommyfriend November 2, 2011 at 8:23 pm

Lucky!

76 Jessica November 3, 2011 at 6:56 pm

Are you better yet? I hope so but if not could you stop by and cough on me?
Jessica recently posted..Gratitude

77 Karylle Lynch November 4, 2011 at 5:32 am

Aww, it’s really a bad news! Hope you get well very soon. Take a lot of rest! Hugs!
Karylle Lynch recently posted..I2P2 Caught in Anti-Regulatory Dustup According to OSHA Director Dr. David Michaels

78 Me a Mom at Home November 5, 2011 at 12:05 am

It sounds like the perfect vacation excpt for the SICK part of it ;-). Hope you feel better soon!!
Me a Mom at Home recently posted..Look at those cute lunches!!

79 humanmama November 5, 2011 at 8:57 am

HA! Totally hilarious. What a mom response. When I am pregnant I dread the pregnancy, and all the time I look forward to the c-section! Hospital, a few days away, someone else taking care of me… Scary, definitely. :) Feel better!
humanmama recently posted..Repost: MLP Christmas

80 Old School/New School Mom November 6, 2011 at 4:48 pm

You poor woman! Feel better and watch lots of bad TV!
Old School/New School Mom recently posted..Give Him a Job

81 Cheryl November 6, 2011 at 6:54 pm

Hey, where can I get me some of that there pneumonia?

82 Mariann November 6, 2011 at 9:28 pm

HEY! I’ve been cheated! I had pneumonia three months ago (during a frickin’ heat wave) and my doctor prescribed NO SUCH THING!
…..I’m so calling my HMO and getting a new primary care doc….=)
Mariann recently posted..sun

83 Renee November 10, 2011 at 10:21 am