You’re Probably Married If…



1. If the response to most of your questions is, “not yet,” you’re probably married.

2. If your response to most questions is, “It was on sale,” you’re probably married.

3. If you’ve found yourself saying, “Don’t swing that at the kids!” you’re probably married.

4. If ‘clean the toilet’ somehow precipitates the need for specific, step-by-step instructions, you’re probably married.

5. If you’ve ever asked your partner exactly when they’re due back at work, you’re probably married.

6. If you’ve ever had to define ‘appropriate shoes’, you’re probably married.

7. If you’ve gotten fifteen text messages from the grocery store, you’re probably married.

8. If you’ve ever had to describe the difference between a light piece of clothing and a dark one, you’re probably married.

9. If you’ve ever opened the dishwasher to find seven pieces of clean dishware (and two forks), you’re probably married.

10. If there are three Oreos left in the container, and the kids haven’t had any yet, you’re probably married.


The Scary Mommy Community is built on support. If your comment doesn't add to the conversation in a positive or constructive way, please rethink submitting it. Basically? Don't be a dick, please.

  1. says

    The last two are spot on. I actually opened the dishwasher for a spoon, half full, and the detergent container was still closed, which means the foul smell was the DIRTY dishes that have been sitting in the dishwasher since last Sunday!!!

    Show Replies

Load More Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>