You’re Probably Married If… – Scary Mommy

You’re Probably Married If…


1. If the response to most of your questions is, “not yet,” you’re probably married.

2. If your response to most questions is, “It was on sale,” you’re probably married.

3. If you’ve found yourself saying, “Don’t swing that at the kids!” you’re probably married.

4. If ‘clean the toilet’ somehow precipitates the need for specific, step-by-step instructions, you’re probably married.

5. If you’ve ever asked your partner exactly when they’re due back at work, you’re probably married.

6. If you’ve ever had to define ‘appropriate shoes’, you’re probably married.

7. If you’ve gotten fifteen text messages from the grocery store, you’re probably married.

8. If you’ve ever had to describe the difference between a light piece of clothing and a dark one, you’re probably married.

9. If you’ve ever opened the dishwasher to find seven pieces of clean dishware (and two forks), you’re probably married.

10. If there are three Oreos left in the container, and the kids haven’t had any yet, you’re probably married.

Stephanie is a freelance writer, humor writer, and blogger specializing in the areas of parenting, entertainment, pop culture, social media, and women’s issues at StephanieBernaba.comBlogHer, and Redbook Magazine. She is the proud and exhausted mother of three preschool-aged children, a husband with a rotating work schedule, and three cats. Her brood makes its home in Rhode Island. Follow her on FacebookTwitterPinterest, and Instagram.