When is My Baby Going to Do Anything?
Having an eating-sleeping-pooping machine is fun and all, but sometimes you wonder when your baby is actually going to do anything. Well wonder no more, because you’re about to start noticing some changes: more alertness and a wider variety of sounds and coos (although if you don’t see a change yet, no need to worry, because developmental milestones are bullshit anyway).
Tummy time is important now – it’ll help strengthen baby’s neck and shoulder muscles for the all-important task of looking around. At first you’ll put her down, cringe inwardly as her little face bumps against the floor, and wonder if she can inhale heinous carpet-germs through the blanket you’ve spread out. But seriously, you’re doing her a favor. It’s like a mini-workout.
Babies cry. A lot. It’s what they do (those assholes). But how do you know when it’s something more than typical fussing? Start with the “Rule of Three.” The definition of colic is when baby cries for at least three hours per day, at least three times a week, for three weeks (even though all of her needs have been met). If your baby cries inconsolably for long periods of time and you have no idea how to help, it’s sucky and overwhelming for both of you. The good news is that colic rarely lasts longer than a couple of months (the bad news: it will seem like the longest couple of months of your LIFE).
There are many ways to temporarily soothe a colicky baby – gently bouncing up and down, massage, swaddling, repetitive noise such as a washing machine or hair dryer – and just like everything else, you’ll find out through trial and error what works. But if you just can’t provide relief, it’s totally okay to walk away for a few minutes. Leaving your baby to cry in a safe place, like a crib, is not going to hurt anybody – and a breather may just save your sanity. Here’s to staying sane!!