Breastfeeding, Formula Feeding, Who Cares?

It’s “World Breastfeeding Week” and “National Breastfeeding Month”; a time to celebrate nursing, eradicate shame over breastfeeding in public and educate the world on the benefits of breastfeeding.

And that’s all well, good and important. For sure.

But as a mother who wasn’t able to breastfeed any of my children, this month has always brought back that familiar sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach… The feeling of complete failure. Almost ten years after I struggled with feeding my first (and subsequent second and third,) there is still no other issue which brings me more shame or sadness, and Lord knows there have been plenty of parental fails since then.

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And that’s why I love the “I Support You” movement so much. Announced yesterday by Kim Simon from Mama by the Bay, Suzanne Barston from Fearless Formula Feeder, and Jamie-Lynne Grumet from I Am Not The Babysitter (and cover model from the infamous Time magazine article), it’s meant to bridge the gap between formula-feeding and breastfeeding mothers; spreading the notion that we’re all feeding our children with love; by breastfeeding, formula feeding, however. 

“We are standing together, and we’re asking you to stand up with us. You, at the La Leche League meeting. You, in the lactation consultant’s office, perfecting your newborn’s latch. You, in the Nordstrom’s dressing room, nursing quietly on the couch. You, at your older son’s baseball game, nursing openly in the bleachers. You, who have cried rivers of tears over your feeding choices, and you, who chose without fear.

I support you.

You, in your hospital gown, asking the nurses for formula. You, shaking a bottle with one arm while your baby snuggles close in the other. You, who have researched the healthiest, most tummy-friendly formulas. You, who pump and mix and combo-feed. You, who have cried rivers of tears over your feeding choices, and you, who chose without fear.

I support you.

You, with your partner, as you feed the baby that you are hoping to adopt. You, who had a mastectomy and are locking eyes with new life. You, who chose your mental health, or your physical health, or your freedom, or your lack of freedom, so that you could feed your baby in a way that protected both of you. You, the Daddy who is finger-feeding your infant. You, the Mommy who lovingly pours formula into a G-Tube. You, at the NICU, pumping your breasts by the light of the machines that are keeping your baby alive. You, with the foster child who you are loving back to health. We see you. You are a part of this conversation too.

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We support you.”


We need all the support we can get; all of us.

About the writer

What started as an innocent on-line baby book to chronicle Jill's stay-at-home days with her children, quickly transformed into a vibrant community of parents, brought together by a common theme: Parenting doesn’t have to be perfect. Learn more here.


Carls 10 months ago

I CHOSE not to breast feed and very proud of it too formula feeding is best baby and happy formula feeding. I dont believe for a second.that moms who bf are strong.bonded with baby then moms who dont.
people bash those who refuse to bf. Well go ahead and bash me…I dare you..
Boobs are for.mommy and.daddy time. …if others bf that is fine and I support it but I sure it. Ever

jennifer 1 year ago

I would say there is very little support for bottle feeding – either you feed formula or breast milk in the bottle.
During my prenatal classes, visits with midwives during pregnancy and after birth, bottle feeding is never discussed whatsoever. I was told to keep breastfeeding even though my milk did not even come in after a week or so and my baby was starving and lost 10% of weight in the first 3 days. She didn’t have wet diaper for 2 days or more. I was in despair and sleep deprived but my midwives kept telling me to breastfeed and didn’t want me to use bottle or formula. They were not happy when i pump and feed the baby my breastmilk with the bottle. I think it was getting ridiculous about the extent of promoting “breast is the best”. I felt bullied as a first time mom and it made me feel that i didn’t have control over my child and how i can feed my baby.
couple days later, the public nurse called and my husband picked it up and i can’t believe all the public nurse cared about is if the baby gets breast milk and it seems like as a mother, it doesn’t matter if i exist or not as long as the baby is provided with breast milk. To me, it appears that it’s ok if i am dead and someone else provides breast milk as long as the baby has BREAST MILK NOT FORMULA!!! they are just bunch of bullies to me. I support all kinds of way to feed the baby, breast feeding, bottle feeding, breast milk or formula. As long as the baby is loved and taken care of – what is there to argue about?

Jess 1 year ago

It’s an interesting post and I just want share my experience with you too about Breastfeeding and Formula Feed a Baby. I have been supplementing with formula since day one because i don’t have enough milk supply. At the end of the day, what is most important is that to provide adequate nourishment to the baby, be it from breastmilk or formula. Some babies are sensitive on the type of formula so might want to stick to one type then see if it’s working , if not, then try a formula for sensitve stomach.

paula 2 years ago

No mother should be shamed for not breastfeeding, and no one understands another mothers situation. But, sadness over inability to BF is normal, because BF’ing is objectively better for babies. There are many legit reasons for Mom to choose formula over BF: need to take medication being one. In healthy mother and baby, breast IS clearly best and any other statement is dishonest, BUT, it is also true that millions of babies are fed formula and are very healthy. Humans are very adaptable. The two largest reasons for BF failure are shame and bad medical advice. Too many women report BF’ing problems, in this day and age, as result of poor advice. Every nurse in WICU should be required to take lactation assist classes.
If you were unable to BF, move on, and don’t beat yourselves up. And BF’ing Moms, don’t be SMUG or judgmental (you really don’t known anothers’ situation).

Nellie 2 years ago

I was consistently judged because I tried and tried to breastfeed my kids but due to my breast reduction when I was 19, it was extremely difficult. I support ALL mamas, in whatever choice they make.

Hillary 2 years ago

“You, at the NICU, pumping your breasts by the light of the machines that are keeping your baby alive.”

That line made me burst into tears. Thank you for this thoughtful, loving, mother inspiring post.

Kimmie Rose 2 years ago

Thank you Jill. Everyone needs support!

Nina 2 years ago

Love this idea!

Missy Homemaker 2 years ago

I breast fed all my kids, but with my first three which were all under 5 years of each other, it got harder and harder and I switched them to formula sooner and sooner. I’m grateful there was a way for me to be able to keep working after having my first three–I needed to and my workplace wasn’t conducive to pumping. Either way it’s caring for your child.

Helen 2 years ago

Why the hell should there be a week of celebrating feeding your baby, regardless of how you did it? It’s bullshit. You make a baby, you take care of it, end of story. You shouldn’t be congratulated or celebrated for choosing one method of care/food over another. Babies get hungry, feed them. THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO.

And yes, I breast fed. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

    Anne G 2 years ago

    Helen – I think you might be misunderstanding the point of World Breastfeeding Week. It is not a bunch of individuals high five-ing each other for having breastfed. It IS about celebrating efforts to improve support in order to make breastfeeding a reality for all moms who set out to do it. This year’s international theme is all about the different types of support that are needed.

Roshni 2 years ago

Thank you. That is all!

Jody 2 years ago

I vaguely remember my mother breastfeeding my little brother in 1980, openly defying the nurse in the hospital where he was born who told her, “Don’t breastfeed. It’s nasty and not good for your child!”

Thirty some-odd years later, I chose to breastfeed my daughter to the applause of everyone in my life. We’ve come a long way, baby!

natesmom1411 2 years ago

I also still feel guilt about breastfeeding my son for 6 weeks and turning to formula when breastfeeding wasn’t working out. When I went back to work people asked if I was breastfeeding and when I said no I was told how bad formula was and I should have tried harder. I have always supported breastfeeding moms and could care less if I see a woman publicly breastfeeding her child. I feel a sense of relief to read your supportive comments. For those who choose to continue to judge a mother based on her feeding choices, try looking closer at your own self esteem. Clearly, yours is lacking if you are spending your free time obsessing on how others feed their children. What I choose to do with my breasts is not up to you and none of your business.

Kelley 2 years ago

Sometimes, I think we all need to be reminded that before formula/canned milk etc came along lots of babies starved when their mothers where unable to breastfeed. Only mothers rich enough to hire a wet nurse could save their children.

So should we not be grateful for the millions of children who lived and all the mothers who did not have to bury a child they could not breastfeed?

I have both breasfed and formula fed at different stages as was required by my health and the child’s health.

Boths sides of this issue are right, yet both feel the need to continue argueing over who is more right!!

Holly@ClubThrifty 2 years ago

I made enough milk to breastfeed a small village but I HATED breastfeeding my two daughters and gave up after the six week mark. It’s a personal decisions and no one’s business but my own!

melomar 2 years ago

Thank you for this post. I agree completely that we all need to support each other regardless of the feeding choice as long as the mom is feeding the kid and not doing something that is inherently dangerous what does it matter what they chose?
Personally I have been on all sides of this and have been shamed for all of the choices. With my first despite pumping and feeding him I was not giving enough and on doctor’s recommendation started supplementing with formula as well as pumping more to try to increase milk supply. eventually the supplement became the only feeding because breastfeeding simply wasn’t happening, my son would feed for a long time and still take an entire bottle, pumping was ineffective beyond belief as hours would give me maybe 1.5 oz. I was told that I was poisoning my son and that I was lazy and selfish and that I did it on purpose because I had to go back to work and my favorite that I didn’t love my child enough to breastfeed. Of course I also got “subtle” comments like breast is best every time I was buying formula or feeding my son near a breastfeeding mother. With my second I was able to breastfeed and did so for a year. During that time I was asked if I was a cow, told I was disgusting and that a bottle was more sanitary, and that I was going to give him mental issues and he was going end up alone spending his life in topless bars, or that the issues would cause him to fear breasts. I was also looked at with such disgust that I would hide in bathroom stalls to feed him or bottle feed him when in public. While bottle feeding I was told that I was going to confuse him and ruin him and that he would never take to the breast again. With my third child there were severe complications during his birth that required he be fed before I was able to do it or even see him and maybe because of that or maybe just because, I was never able to breastfeed him, he just wouldn’t take to it and once again pumping was providing about nothing so I had no choice but to formula feed unless I wanted to starve my child. This time in addition to all the comments about poisoning him and being lazy I also was treated horribly because I “didn’t even try” I was also called stupid for not being able to breastfeed him and for feeding my child formula.
None of this did anything to change the facts of what my body could do nor what my child needed, all it did was cause me pain at a time when I needed support and love rather than judgement and mental anguish

Colleen Lavallee 2 years ago

As a mom of 4, I have NEVER even tried breast feeding! I have no big excuse , I just didn't want to! Motherhood is about survival and what works for you, and YOUR children! What works for one, does not work for another. My children are happy and healthy! So feed on Mommies, doesn't matter which nipple you choose!

Lesley Petitbon 2 years ago

what is the real issue here, nutrition. feed your baby either breastfeeding or formula, it's what's right for you and your baby. be happy, enjoy your baby, love your baby.

Lesley Petitbon 2 years ago

well put emily.

Sharon 2 years ago

I think that people were view “breastfeeding month” awareness as a personal attack on their personal choice to not breastfeed is seriously misguided. My first child I breastfed for 4 months, usually in the comfort of our home. When I went back to work out of necessity when she was 5 months old I was not able to continue breastfeeding. I moved to formula and I didn’t ever feel guilty for it. My second child is 14 months and I still breastfeed him, whenever and wherever he is hungry. I have received looks and stares and even people apologizing for having seen my breast in my child’s mouth. I completely agree that society as a whole needs to change the atmosphere surrounding breastfeeding, and women should never have to be segregated to corner rooms or bathroom stalls if they don’t want to, they should be able to continue work, continue the family dinner at the restaurant, the wait at an airport or any other public place that we all have to be at some points in our week. Breastfeeding awareness isn’t to pinpoint out the parents who choose formula out of necessity or convenience, but to illustrate that breastfeeding, while in decline, is really the healthiest choice if you are able. No one should feel ashamed for whatever it is they choose, but I am happy to know that efforts are being made towards the best interest of the children.

Melissa E. 2 years ago

Very well put. I had a breast reduction that made it nearly impossible to make more than a few drops of liquid, and still did my best to nurse (with supplementation) for 8 weeks for each of my boys. I do favor the increased support being given to nursing moms, and I think that bringing attention and support so that more moms will try nursing is important. However, I’ve had comments that nearly had me in tears, when no one knew my story. I am of the opinion that if you don’t like someone’s parenting choice, that’s just fine. Keep your mouth shut and have your own children. I support the right of all mothers to choose what they feel is right for their children.

Lindy Veit 2 years ago

This is great!! Thanks for sharing!

Jess 2 years ago

Love the movement. I fully support the right to breast feed and pump. I do not bat an eye when a friend openly
Nurses next to me. I graciously offered my (enclosed) office to coworkers who needed to pump. All I ask in return is that you respect my decision to formula feed without making judgments about whether or not someone tried hard enough to breasts feed…or tried at all. I don’t judge you, you don’t judge me. End of story. And stop declaring breast is best. I wouldn’t tell anyone which choice is best. The best choice is what works for you and your baby. The only winner is the one that works. Period. With that, I am officially freeing myself from worrying about judgmental mothers. My children are healthy and smart and we are well past the breast feeding and formula stage of our lives. Thank you for freeing me from thinking about this anymore

    paula 2 years ago

    Jess, I’m with you, but for the resistance to the FACT , “breast is best”. Breast milk is simply better than formula (though, clealy, formula must be good enough, as millions of healthy adults prove).
    And saying that, I believe BF’ing is NOT always the best choice and understand that many women have trouble (almost always from poor advice/information) BF’ing and respect is necessary…respect and understanding.

Kristina Elefante-Skowronek 2 years ago

Fantastic! <3 ALL the parents out there who live selfless lives to provide for and love their children.

Sandy 2 years ago

Here’s my bottom line. I don’t know any formula feeding mom who goes up to a breast feeding Mom and tells her she is doing something bad for her baby. I can’t say the same for the Breast Feeding Avengers. So yes, it is awful that you can’t breastfeed discretely anywhere you need to, but people still think you are doing something great for your child, and you can bask in a self-righteous glow even as you settle for the bathroom stall (again).

I don’t think you have a worse deal than a Mom who formula feeds.

    Jess 2 years ago

    Well said!

    Jamie 2 years ago

    You are missing the point. It isn’t a competition for who got the most s*** thrown at them. First off, every situation is different. Plus, I’m sure the mothers who breastfeed their children past a certain age while Western society screams “sexual abuse” aren’t really feeling very jazzy either.

    This is about support. PERIOD.

Ana Proctor 2 years ago

Love this article, Jill!

Chrissy Arkanoff Nelson 2 years ago

I extended breastfed Allison and even today people act like bf a 2.5 yr is child abuse. Even when I would bf in public I had to do it in bathrooms because people would stare and even point.

Marissa Peterson 2 years ago

I love this!

Melissa 2 years ago

Thank you so much for this. I struggled with breastfeeding my daughter and I felt like a huge failure because of it. I ended up quitting at about 2 months of age, and like you, I still feel guilt when I think about it. My son is now 3 months of age and I’m still going, but still struggling. I’m not sure how much longer I can keep it up. Even in the hospital, I had to supplement him with formula. Of course, the nurses looked at me with absolute HORROR on their faces when I told them I had given him some formula. They admonished me for doing so. The guilt that is applied to mothers who choose to formula feed, or who have to for various reasons, or even those of us who just use it as a supplement, is tremendous. Many breastfeeding advocates (and the Nursing Nazis at the hospital, like my postpartum nurses) act as if we are feeding our children pureed McDonald’s in a bottle. I’ve even heard some say that formula should be banned (as Venezuela was considering), or that all mothers should be required to nurse for at least 6 months. So I agree with the premise of this – let’s quit judging each other. Let’s assume that we are all doing the best we can for our babies and our families. When it comes to feeding babies, let’s live and let live.

Nurse D. 2 years ago

For me as an OB/NICU nurse, it is about women being able to make informed choices. However, as I tell my moms, it is your body and your baby and you need to make the choices that are right for you and your baby. I don’t go home with you and I don’t live your life, so I am the last person to force anything on anyone. Yes, I believe that breast milk is the best food for human babies and will spend time to discuss the benefits and assist with breastfeeding as much or as little as a mom wants, but there are good milk substitutes out there as well and if that is your choice, I will support that.

Emily Irene Guthrie 2 years ago

<3 it! I have breastfed all my children for a bit, then moved on to formula for one reason or another…do I feel any guilt…no because my babies were fed and that's all that matters. One of my friends had a baby recently and had problems with latching on and felt she needed to justify to me as to why her son was on a bottle and how awful she feels about it and I told her don't, as long as he is eating and healthy and loved that is all that matters! There should be no oneupsmanship from breastfeeding mothers towards other mothers who use formula! This article and movement is awesome!

Sandra Arkanoff 2 years ago

I don't understand why this is an issue that is ANYONE'S business but the mother. People need to get out of other people's business.

Mary 2 years ago

I’m a first time Grandma and I can’t believe this is what’s going on these days. I think things are so much harder for young moms today. Why are people so judgmental, can’t we just enjoy the baby and forget the finger pointing?

Laurie Joudry 2 years ago

That is awesome! I am with you on how terrible breast-feeding week/month/whatever is. I wasn't able to breast feed my daughter, and I felt like a failure every time I fed her. And then, the first breast-feeding week or whatever after she was born, we were asked to attend some breast-feeding celebration…and I felt awful! It's awesome that there are people out there who want to support ALL moms, not just those who chose/are able to breast-feed, but also those who struggle through not breast-feeding whether by choice or necessity.

Sara 2 years ago

As the Mommy who pumped in the NICU, watching my 1st baby fight to live, shaming myself for never ever producing enough milk to amount to anything and the Mommy in the NICU watching my 2nd fight to live and not even attempting to pump, just enjoying the hour or so I could sit by my daughter’s side before rushing home to take care of my not quite 2 year old, this made me cry..the first time I ever felt supported for my decision!

Rachel Biesbrock Kasinger 2 years ago


Heather 2 years ago

We are Mothers! Our job is to sustain this little life that came from us. How ever we do it…it is BEST! How ever you can sustain, love, nurture, and nourish the little life in your arms…is the RIGHT way!!!

Becky Bartman 2 years ago

Love this! Thanks so much for sharing….I added it to my FB page too :)

Aimee 2 years ago

Remember, this is WORLD Breastfeeding Week, not American Breastfeeding Week. There are fewer differences between formula-fed and breast-fed babies in the developed world, where we have clean, abundant water, adequate nutrition for mothers, the ability to sterilize bottles, medical care for when babies (breastfed OR bottlefed) get sick, etc. However, in much of the world, clean water ISN’T available, and yet there are cultural pressures for women to formula-feed (thanks largely to HUGE marketing by big Western businesses). In a third-world country, a bottle-fed baby is an emblem of a family of means, whereas a breastfeeding mother is a “peasant” – a social class that people world-wide try to “move up” from. IMHO, WORLD Breastfeeding Week is a moment to support those desperately poor mothers, who can’t go on the web and get all kinds of year-round support like we can, and hopefully get the message to them that in their circumstances, formula-feeding their baby is NOT safer or more nutritious… just the opposite.

    Jess 2 years ago

    Insightful! Thank you for sharing. This makes a lot of sense. I’ve often thought that studies showing benefits of breastfeeding have been skewed, and this is probably why. I think both options are fine, and support either choice. I think breastfeeding in public should be “normalized” (I wouldn’t blink). But I also think we have been slightly deceived about just how much nutritional/health value there is in breastfeeding in comparison to formula feeding (when all other conditions are healthy/sanitary, as you described).

      Aimee 2 years ago

      Don’t get me wrong, I believe strongly in the benefits of breastfeeding in the Western world too – beneficial bacteria colonize the baby’s gut, antibodies are passed along, the consistency of breastmilk itself changing over the course of a feeding helping a child develop a good sense of “hunger” and “fullness,” etc, and it’s free! I breastfed in public all the time and never felt like I couldn’t (but I also live in the Northeast, where a variety of life choices are more easily accepted generally 😉 I do think that mothers should make a reasonable attempt at breastfeeding their babies, but I also know that there are LOTS of reasons that women choose not to or are unable to. I feel bad hearing all the stories of cranky, pushy nurses in hospitals… my sister is a L&D nurse and a lactation consultant, but even she didn’t nurse any of her three children more than 10 months. NO one in the hospital should ever have a nurse be mean to them!!!

        Jess 2 years ago

        Ugh. When you say you think everyone should make a reasonable attempt you are being exactly the judgmental mother this movement is trying to get away from !! It is not your place to say what you think others need to attempt. This is exactly the judgmental bullshit new mothers do not need (on top of all the other pressures )

          Rebekah 2 years ago

          Hmm… I don’t think it is “judgmental bullshit” to give someone advice, especially when it is based on scientific act. I strongly believe in the benefits of nursing, they have been repeatedly proven, and no matter how good formula gets it is still not breastmilk. Look, if you choose to formula feed, I am not going to hound you about it. You aren’t starving your child! But I would certainly encourage anyone to breastfeed instead of use formula if they have the option.

          I think the problem is not giving advice; the problem is giving it in a snobby, mean manner. Which the previous commenter did not do.

        Anne G 2 years ago

        I think the “I Support You” plea conflates “kindness” with “support”. If you compare the supports World Breastfeeding Week is working toward with what “I Support You” is calling support, it becomes clear that “I Support You” is not about support at all. “I Support You” is suggesting more empathy and compassion, but that’s it.
        From a breastfeeding point of view, saying “I Support You” requires a devaluing of breastfeeding, because breastfeeding and formula feeding are not equal options. The confusion is that ,while the feeding options are unequal, the mothers are equally worthy. “I Respect You” or “I Accept You” are closer to the mark. They focus on the person not the substance.
        But then it becomes more obvious that the plea is not appropriate during WBW.

Jennifer Hague 2 years ago

Preach on, sister!

Jennifer Hague 2 years ago

Preach on, sister!

Cassie Vigue 2 years ago

Thank you for including foster and adoption in your article!

Christie Carnochan 2 years ago

agree with this 100%…

MomChalant 2 years ago

I was able to breast feed, but my nipples wouldn’t pull out so I had to pump all of my milk. It was awful. By the time I was done pumping for the next feeding, it was already time to feed again. I could never catch up.

So I slowly started mixing in formula with the breast milk and my son was on formula by one month old. I felt horrible. But my body just couldn’t handle it. It was really hard for me, and still is sometimes. It’s nice to know there’s support places out there : ) That’s why women communities are so awesome!

Leonore Anderson Lee 2 years ago

I completely agree. very well said. I still think attitudes in the General Public are much more difficult for the breast feeding moms. I walked into a restaurant rest room earlier this week and found a new mom nursing her baby, standing up in the teeny tiny space between the sink and the stall. I asked if I could get her a chair or help her find a better place and she nervously declined… I wanted to reassure her but she was so concerned with her privacy, which I completely respect… but what went wrong in our society to make her feel this way?

Rose 2 years ago

I so loved the idea of breastfeeding, I still do. That being said I only managed 3 months with my first and 5 months with my second before switching to formula. I could never seem to get to the point of it feeling natural (you know, whip out boob, pop baby on, continue on with what you were doing before baby cried to be fed lol. Ya, that was never me). Perhaps I sabotaged myself because I used pumped milk/bottle for night time feedings because I was just too tired in the middle of the night to fight with boob and baby in the dark. I’m sure it didn’t help the latch situation. In the end, I tried my best and don’t regret the sanity I saved (mine and my babies’) by switching to formula. I made the right choice for me. That being said, I still heartily cheer on my fellow sisters who are able to BF for a year and beyond. Not sure how you do it, but then, we all have our own unique super-powers… 😉

Dana 2 years ago

Thank you SO much.. you’ve brought me to tears. My daughter is almost 2.. and was born a preemie.. I was NOT able to breastfeed, I just couldn’t produce.. and honestly, it was heartbreaking for me. I struggled to get pregnant, I couldn’t keep my baby in me for a full 40 weeks (I barely made 30!) and then I couldn’t feed her.. it was the icing on ‘I’m a failure as a mommy” cake… and while I’m proud of my 2lb baby, proud of being her mom, proud of being strong enough to fight all I fought to hold her in my arms today.. I think the breastfeeding issue *still* bothers me and makes me feel ‘guilty’…. especially when I see posts and hear comments from people about how if you don’t breastfeed, your child won’t be as smart, as healthy, or as wonderful as one who was. Thanks again!

    Sara 2 years ago

    Know exactly how you feel! My oldest was 1lb 11oz, born at 27 weeks and I struggled to pump even enough milk to cover the bottom of the bottle! I felt like a complete failure as a Mommy! When my 2nd was born 3lbs 8oz at 32 weeks, I didn’t even bother to attempt pumping, it was torture enough dealing with another baby in the NICU while my 23 month old was at home! I still feel guilty sometimes when articles pop up about the amazing benefits of breast feeding but I’m just happy they are happy and healthy today! It’s nice to read things like this and feel understood and supported!

Liz 2 years ago

And let’s not forget the mom’s who choose formula from the start for no health reasons at all. In these articles about formula fed babies, there is always a drastic reason why the mom switched. But there are plenty of moms who just don’t want to.

I support you!

Melissa Rafe Perry 2 years ago

I wouldn't say it anyone's business, it is a personal choice always has been, there is just a push to make nursing normalized. That's the real issue. It's not so much one is better than then other, just one is ACCEPTED more than the other. The goal is to make walking past a nursing mother as uneventful as walking past a mother who is formula feeding. That's the black and white of it. It shouldn't be anyone's business how a mother feeds her child but unfortunately it is for lots of people.

Amanda 2 years ago

I love this!!

Tiffany (The Boob Geek) 2 years ago

I’m going to be an odd one out here and say that I although I think the goals of the campaign are noble, the timing is unfortunate. World Breastfeeding Week shouldn’t have to come with disclaimers. (Really, no parenting choices should have to come with disclaimers.) Contrasting this “I support you” with the WBW 2013 theme of mother-to-mother support seems, to me, to be an attempt to underscore the divide between breastfeeding and formula-feeding, not bring moms together. The feeling I get from the campaign is that it’s an attempt to say, “SOME people support you even if you’re not breastfeeding. THOSE people are not.”

Moms who feed their babies formula, whether they made an informed choice or breastfeeding did not work out, are in the majority. You have the 51 other weeks out of the year (or could start your own commemorative week). Supporting moms is awesome. But allowing breastfeeding moms and their lactation support people one week (or month) to celebrate their successes is important.

That person running a marathon, with friends and family swarming them for crossing the finish line, is not judging me for not even running a 5K.

    shamanmajik 2 years ago

    The problem here though is that those who Formula Feed for whatever reason DO NOT get the other 51 weeks out of the year for support. There is a HUGE lack of support for these mother’s. While I truly believe that breastfeeding gets a ton of flack from many people (nursing in public, etc.) so does feeding from a bottle. While breastfeeders get the nasty stares and comments for feeding in public, bottlefeeders get the “why would you feed you kid poison?” and the “well, you just didn’t try hard enough” type comments constantly as well.

    I am not saying that breastfeeding shouldn’t be supported, and society DOES need to change their views. However, why can’t this support be ongoing instead of relegated to one week where those that didn’t “succeed” have it once again shoved in their faces that they “failed”? You used the Marathon example, the difference here is that when you are supported by friends and family when running that marathon, it is one single celebration for that victory. It is not a week long national celebration of articles on how much healthier running a marathon is than merely running a 5k. Of pictures being posted everywhere online of happy marathon runners when you (general you) don’t have the physical capabilities of running a marathon even though your dream was to do so.

    I believe that it is important to support ALL mother’s, especially in the vulnerable first days of motherhood.

      Tiffany (The Boob Geek) 2 years ago

      I’m really confused by this idea that formula-feeding is constantly shamed and not supported by our western, American society, especially because breastfeeding doesn’t work out for so many women *specifically because* breastfeeding is not supported. Doctors of all types, nurses, day care providers, employers, relatives, friends – all of these are people who are key influencers of the way babies are fed, and, almost always, they support bottlefeeding.

      Yes, there are plenty of breastfeeding advocates who give breastfeeding advocacy a bad name, but we’ve also got entire organizations (like Best for Babes) that are built on the cornerstone of providing support for all moms.

      In any event… it’s not some sort of secret that moms who feed their babies formula have, at times, felt shamed (whether it’s warranted or not) by the breastfeeding lobby. But could we stop and ask ourselves one question: Is it also important to acknowledge the feelings of moms who DO breastfeed? This campaign isn’t really about supporting all moms; it’s about trying to make sure that moms who use formula don’t feel bad. Meanwhile, there are breastfeeding moms who are upset that their week of celebration is being co-opted. Why does that not matter? Why does the majority get to say their feelings are more important?

        shamanmajik 2 years ago

        If you are confused about lack of support for formula feeding moms, ask me about the nurse who refused to bring me formula while I was in the hospital with my newborn because I wasn’t breastfeeding. Ask me about the lactation consultant who stormed into my room and yelled at me saying that I HAD to at least try and threw papers down on the table explaining the benefits etc of breastfeeding. Or the second nurse that I had who constantly turned the channel to the breastfeeding channel. Or how about the nurse who refused to help me figure out how to get my son, firstborn, to eat from a bottle. I had never fed a baby.

        There are no support groups available to new mother’s who are formula feeding. No one to tell you how to mix a bottle, or how to store it or that after 2 hours it should be thrown out. There is no one out there that can make a home visit for you when you can’t figure out why your baby isn’t eating.

        Like I said, I DO think it’s important to acknowledge the feelings of those who breastfeed, but NOT by leaving those that don’t out in the cold. Many people only seem to see the downfalls of society with regards to issues that only affect them and their situations. You are a breastfeeding mom, so you don’t see what the “other side” goes through. It took me a long time to see what breastfeeders go through because I was not one of them. I was the biggest advocate for my girlfriend when her job wouldn’t give her time to pump. I was the biggest supporter of my cousin who was upset that she started to dry up when her daughter was 11 months old.

        The campaign is NOT about making sure that some don’t feel bad, it’s about helping everyone to feel that they are in fact supported. I personally feel that all of the “awareness” weeks are out of hand anyway.

          Tiffany (The Boob Geek) 2 years ago

          Regardless of the stories we can swap about who is more supportive about what, the fact remains that, as wonderful as this campaign could be for lost of women, the timing is crappy and serves to undermine, intentionally or not, the value of breastfeeding-specific support and World Breastfeeding Week.

          shamanmajik 2 years ago

          We will just have to agree to disagree because I feel that the timing of this campaign opens up the discussion on why we even need to have a World Breastfeeding Week in the first place. If everyone felt supported, in whatever they chose, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation because there wouldn’t be a need for a “support” week.

          Jess 2 years ago

          I don’t think the timing undermines anything. This is not “let’s only support formula feeding”. If that’s what you’re reading into this, I think you’re using your own bias to create a nonexistent agenda.
          Let’s take the Gay Pride comparison:
          Yes, if someone had a Straight-Only Pride parade/month, that would be offensive. However, if there was a Marriage Equality march at the same time as Gay Pride, that would be viewed as something that naturally goes in tandem….Marriage Equality isn’t a one-sided issue. People who support this are asking that all people be treated and supported equally, Gay or Straight (not just Straight, in the offensive example).

          This movement, I believe, is similar. It goes in Tandem with Breastfeeding support/month. It says we support your decision to breastfeed. AND we support your decision to not breastfeed.

          Anne G 2 years ago

          My comparison is this. Standing with the “I Support You” plea, is a bit like standing with the Catholic Church to celebrate same-sex marriage. They do not go together. A few years ago, Similac began a new marketing strategy. It is call StrongMoms. “I Support You” contains a lot of the talking points of the StrongMoms ads. While there is some merit to the ideas theoretically, the bottom line is that the talking points follow a strategy to sell more formula. Marketing formula to the public is not compatible with the WHO Code or World Breastfeeding Week.

        Helen 2 years ago

        that’s not true. most pediatricians i know, including my own daughter’s support breast feeding. I was actually congratulated for nursing a year (actually 14 months, but they didn’t know that).

        A savvy pediatrician will support the new mom however she decides to feed her baby. Not all of them, however, are that savvy.

    Lia 2 years ago

    But the campaign is about supporting ANY choices moms make when it comes to feeding their children. It’s not taking anything away from breast feeding mothers and giving it to formula feeding mothers or pumping mothers or fathers helping, it’s support for ALL. I think it came out at this time because next month? It’s not National Formula Feeding Month. There IS no month supporting women who have to seek alternative methods. But really, aren’t all feeding choices alternative methods? There is no one right way to take care of your child and the fact that there is a National Breastfeeding Month at all is sad because THAT is highlighting the divide. It’s like Gay Pride and Black History Month and Women’s Awareness. I support ALL of these issues but the sad fact is, we shouldn’t HAVE to publicly announce our support for things that are just natural parts of life that should be accepted by everyone and no one has the right to judge anyone else for anything. And yes I’m fully aware that breast feeding vs formula feeding/pumping/anything else is a choice whereas being gay/black/a women is NOT a choice.

      Tiffany (The Boob Geek) 2 years ago

      How would you feel if someone started a campaign during Gay Pride or Black History Month or a women’s issue month that highlighted how people deserve support even if they’re straight, white, or male? It would be considered pretty tacky to take the time to emphasize that even if you’re straight/not-black/male you still deserve support during this time.

        Jess 2 years ago

        I see what you mean about the minority needing support, but depending on where you live and socio-economics, the minority/majority is often flipped. Where I live, EVERYONE, seriously everyone, is breastfeeding (or crying after months of desperately trying). Out of 20 moms in a weekly group, I was the only one using formula (and not crying about it). Luckily no one said a word. But if they did? If they had tried to make me feel bad? Then yes, I would say this movement is well timed.

          Jess 2 years ago

          To add to that…again, where I live, all of the doctors and nurses specifically advocate, and are pushy about breastfeeding. So again, it really depends on where you live. Here, formula feeding is absolutely the minority.

          Tiffany (The Boob Geek) 2 years ago

          I’m curious as to where you live. I live in a fairly progressive, pro-breastfeeding area by most standards, but breastfeeding is still woefully undersupported, and it definitely depends who your friends are, the doctors you see, and events you attend. If you’re an attachment-parenting type, you’ll be surrounded by breastfeeding. However, if I go out into the big, wide world, it’s a rarity to see a baby who is feeding at a breast (I realize that some moms may be feeding expressed milk, but if they do it is often because they’re having problems breastfeeding or because they don’t feel supported or comfortable breastfeeding in public).

          Jess 2 years ago

          I live in northern NJ. The hospitals near me are very pro-breastfeeding. It is pretty much assumed that you will breast feed. I’m not an attachment-parenting type. The women in my mommy group all learned how to gracefully nurse in front of each other (the newest ones would watch how the more experienced moms used those cover ups…not they anyone felt they HAD to, but they wanted to learn how to do it that way). I’ve seen these same women nurse discreetly in public (for their own comfort). I’ve had friends come to my house and nurse right in front of me (including my sister, who lives in MD) with or without the cover up (and I don’t care either way).
          All of my coworkers have at some point pumped or talked about pumping (and they are not in my social circles).

          I agree that I don’t see a lot of nursing in public, but then again I’m either at work, home playing with my kids, or too busy in big world to pay any attention in the few hours I get to be out there :) I also never really see anyone bottle feeding.

          cait 2 years ago

          WBW is a wonderful thing. I struggled with the choice to breastfeed over bottle feed my son before he was born. Finally, after urging from my mother and boyfriend, I chose breastfeeding. Were it not for the support of friends and family who also chose bfing for their children, I probably would have quit and gone with formula feeding instead. While in the hospital, I was offered formula for my son numerous times and had to practically shout before they would stop offering it. My nipples were cracked and bleeding, and my son–born at 10lb5oz–fed what felt like CONSTANTLY.. and then, at the height of his frequency feedings and what felt like days at a time spent doing nothing but feeding him, a package from enfamil arrived at our house (how they got my address, I don’t know) once again, if I hadn’t been supported and cheered on by other nursing moms I would have gladly accepted the relief that formula could have offered me. But thanks to them, I pushed through and am now on a regular feeding schedule and couldn’t be happier/more proud of myself for sticking with it.

          WBW isn’t about shaming women who don’t breastfeed, it’s about offering support and encouragement to women like me. Women who chose the more difficult path, were lucky enough to be able to do it, and stuck with it. Breastfeeding is hard. It’s emotionally taxing. And sometimes we need a little extra support to push through those first few weeks where it feels like you’ll never get off the couch again without a baby attached to your boob. If WBW can help one woman like me then how could that be a bad thing?

      Aimee 2 years ago

      There’s no National Formula Feeding Month, but there is a LOT of formula advertising on TV all the time, every day. That’s a not-so-subtle message to us all that the bottle is the “proper” way to feed your baby (even if they throw in that little “breast is best” remark – that’s 2 seconds… the other 28 seconds are for Enfamil, or whatever). There’s no ongoing ad campaign for breastfeeding because there’s no money to be made on it.

      It’s kind of like how ads tell us over and over that using Mr. Clean, Pine-Sol, or Clorox is the “proper” way to clean your house, even if using non-toxic cleaners are cheaper, safer, and just as effective.

Kris 2 years ago

Had a woman ask me if I nursed my then 4 month old VERY bright eyed, interactive baby girl. I said “no” and she looked at me like I had two heads and said “but she looks so healthy!” I replied “well I sprung for the kind without arsenic and glass shards”….(insert sound of crickets)….. And my beautiful bright eyed girl is developing and growing circles around her BFed cousins. ((Meaning there isn’t ALWAYS a leg up on us FFers)) I fed her and played with her and talked to her. And she’s attached to me at the hip, so no bonding issues here. Feed your kids however makes them grow, and play with them and love them, I say!

Connie 2 years ago

I am one who is choosing to formula feed and I got grief and got harassed about it at my own baby shower! This is my first child and for whatever reason, in my head, I cannot get into the idea of breastfeeding. Maybe if I didn’t have to go back to work? I don’t have a choice to stay home once my daughter is born, and I struggle with that too. So, it’s nice to hear about this so-called support of formula feeding moms but its usually always prefaced by “after trying for months” or “I couldn’t because of x,y, or z”. How about those of us who have actively chosen, even before our child’s birth, to formula feed?

I have become so much more open about women’s childbirth and pregnancy choices since becoming pregnant myself. I also get flack from people because I would actually prefer to have a c-section. I am not pushing the issue with my Drs and I will do whatever they deem best to get this little girl into the world, but people can’t fathom that I would rather have a c-section. I have had other abdominal surgeries, I know I can deal with it. I give all of the credit in the world to women who can tolerate, and even enjoy, the whole deal of giving birth without drugs and even those women who choose to birth at home.

Why am I still made to feel like crap about 1)choosing to formula feed before my child is even born and 2) would rather have a c-section. I see no magic or no more love for my child if she is brought into the world via my body tearing in half or if she comes out an opening in my stomach.

    OTRmommy 2 years ago

    Thank you for sharing. I have had 2 c-sections and couldn’t breast feed and I feel like I was jipped out of the true “mom/birth” experience. As time goes by, I feel better about it all and I know the most important thing is everyone’s health and safety. I feel weird admitting it but I preferred the c-section the 2nd time because it wasn’t that bad for me and I knew what to expect and when. Good luck to you and your daughter!

    Jess 2 years ago

    I know what you mean. If it’s ok to use formula after (list of excuses we normally hear), then why isn’t it ok from the get go?? It’s the same result! So let’s skip the nonsense and not give anyone grief for their preferences. I had an “excuse” with my first: emergency c-section, which lead to medication that prevented me from being allowed to BF for several days, which of course made it harder to start BFing after several days with a bottle…and after crying for a WHOLE DAY, lol, I decided Screw This! I want to enjoy my baby who has been perfectly happy on formula for a few days, and is now screaming when I try to nurse her.)

    3 years later, I could have tried to give birth vaginally, but I scheduled a repeat c-section, because I knew what to expect and didn’t want to wind up in another emergency situation. I could have tried BFing again, but chose not to. And my baby is over a year old and doing wonderfully. No excuses needed.

    Danielle 2 years ago

    Thank you!! A thousand times – thank you!!! Honestly, I never breast fed my daughter. I never once tried. I didn’t want to. The idea made me feel uncomfortable. And even though I want what’s best for my daughter, I’m still going to consider my needs too. The whole idea really made me rather upset. So, I made it extremely clear from day 1 that I was not going to breast feed. My daughter is 5 now and she’s absolutely brilliant. No health issues. No cognitive issues. Just my beautiful baby girl.

    Jen Connelly 2 years ago

    Exactly. I chose to formula feed all five of my kids because it’s what I wanted to do and what was best for my entire family. I did try with my first but I wasn’t into it and I tried with my last ten years later to see if anything had changed (he was able to nurse but it stressed me out too much). I suffer from clinical depression, and although I wasn’t on meds when my kids were born, I have my own mental health to think about and breastfeeding screwed with that. But really, I never had any urge to breastfeed. All five of my kids (now 13, 11 1/2, 10 1/2, 7 and 3) are perfectly healthy, rarely ever sick (never had ear infections or the flu or anything) and very smart.

    When I was pregnant with my first I, too, felt I’d rather have a c-section. I would have done whatever but in the end I had a scheduled one (for health reasons). Subsequently the next four kids were also scheduled c-sections. Yes, I’ve had FIVE c-sections. It can be done. I probably could have had another but there was my mental health to consider, lol. I’ve never regretted it and my c-sections were not that bad.

Guerrilla Mom 2 years ago

A-freaking-men is right!

Renée Lamarque 2 years ago

I love this. I still think that it is important to remember that bfing moms need support that formula feeding moms don't, and that shouldn't hurt anyone's feelings. There are still states that don't protect a woman's right to feed her child, making it vaguely illegal and indecent to feed in public(as does our cultural attitude toward bfing), and there are many, many work places that are completely detrimental to a pumping mother. On top of that there are women who wanted to nurse but lacked the support needed to do so, and there are still so much misinformation out there. It doesn't make it mommy war fodder to say that breastfeeding still needs advocates. I've run into my share of horrible LC's, and I'm not advocating the shaming of any moms. I completely support the sentiment behind this article, but just suggesting that support might look differently depending on the situation.

    Danielle 2 years ago

    I understand what you’re saying, but you’re still perpetuating the divide between mothers by saying breast feeding moms need more support than bottle feeding moms. There are pros and cons on both sides of the argument. They just have different worries.
    A new mom is a new mom (whether you have had 1 or 20 kids). They all need support in whatever their choices are.

      Jenny 2 years ago

      She didn’t say they needed more support…just different support.

      Shelley 2 years ago

      Even though SHE didn’t say it, I will. If a mother breastfeeds, she can be sure of several things:
      1. The baby will eat about every 2 hours, around the clock.
      2. For the first few weeks, the baby will take 30-45 minutes to feed. This means that she is pretty much CONSTANTLY feeding the baby.
      3. She’s really the only person who can feed the baby, especially if she’s having trouble getting her milk to come in or if the baby is skinny. Babies are better than pumps at stimulating breasts to produce milk, and they are also better at extracting it. Pumping instead of nursing really isn’t a great idea unless you respond particularly well to a pump, which many women don’t. So a BFing mom doesn’t really EVER get a break.
      4. It will hurt for a little while.
      5. If she goes back to work, she will need ample time to pump several times a day.

      I will take the stance that formula feeding is MUCH easier. You are not tied to the baby in the same way, you can do it in public without any judgement, and other people can feed the baby without you having to worry how it will affect supply or your own body. I have a friend who formula fed who never got up for a single night feeding (her husband did all of them). Whenever you can outsource some work to someone else, it’s less work for you. BFing is harder work than formula feeding, and BFing moms need extra support.

        Danielle 2 years ago

        I can agree that breast feeding moms need different types of support than a formula feeding mom, but it’s still support. We should be giving 100% support to ANY new mom, no matter what her feeding choice is. Your answer proves that you actually don’t agree with this article by saying that breast feeding is harder and that those women clearly have it harder and deserve more support.

        Why does it matter how a mother feeds her child?? Both decisions are nerve-wracking and come with their own problems. They both come with worries. They both come with problems. Have you ever decided to choose formula feeding and run out of money and had to wonder how you were going to buy that formula?? Have you ever been in a hurry to leave the house, get too far away and realize you don’t have any formula with you?? Once you make that decision your milk dries up and you don’t have another choice. I don’t mean to lessen the struggles of a breast feeding mother. I hear that it hurts and it’s hard and it is a full-time, 24/7 job that no one can take over for you. I get that. I’m just saying that you shouldn’t lessen the struggles of a formula feeding mother either. Every new child comes with struggles and frustration and exhaustion. Why do we need to say “Well, you’ve got it easy since you’re not breast feeding.”??? Which is also what this article suggests.

        (And if your friend had her husband doing all the work than clearly that is an individual case of her being a lazy ass. Just saying.)

          Shelley 2 years ago

          I don’t know what someone’s financial difficulties have to do with this conversation. Not being able to afford to feed your family belongs in a discussion on cost of living and social policy, not in a discussion about whether or not BFing mothers need more support than formula feeding mothers.

          It IS easier to feed formula. All the arguments in favor of formula feeding center around this simple fact (people make the argument of “Dad can bond with the baby,” but food is not the only way people can bond with a baby, so I don’t think this argument is a very good one. Plus, working BFing mothers eventually have to pump and bottle feed anyway, so it makes this a moot point). Give me an argument in favor of formula feeding that doesn’t involve convenience.

          That being said, I don’t know why we would argue about this as though it somehow makes you a better mother to be a martyr. If a formula feeding mother has an inferiority complex because she doesn’t feel like she’s enduring enough hardship, then she has lots of other problems that have nothing to do with this conversation. Of COURSE being a new mother can be challenging, and of COURSE some people are better at making this adjustment than others, but that has nothing to do with whether or not BFing mothers need extra support when compared to their formula feeding peers. They do, because ALL the feeding pressure is on them ALL the time. That’s simply not true of formula feeding parents.

    Anita@ Losing Austin 2 years ago


Denise 2 years ago

I was formula fed–no health problems. My boys were formula fed–no health problems. My boys are attached to me so hard that my teen still wants me to tuck him in at night.

People who say you can’t form a proper bond with your kid without breast feeding are full of crap. How do you explain the bond kids form with their dads? With their grandmas? With their favorite aunts?

Breast milk is just natural food. It’s not liquid love.

Formula feeding is great. You can let dad feed the kid, grandma feed the kid. The baby can bond equally with dad–my first went through a phase were only daddy was good enough to put him to bed.

I have NO regrets.

    Basketcase 2 years ago

    “Breast milk is just natural food. It’s not liquid love”
    So much this.
    I wish I had read this 4 months ago when I was walking the hospital corridors in tears as I fed my baby a bottle of formula because my milk was refusing to come in and my nipples were bleeding from my baby trying to suck it out.
    I had the mantra in my head “formula is not failure”, but I think this would have worked better.
    My perserverance paid off (too well, now he wont take a bottle and I am chained to him with a maximum break of 2 hours), but sometimes a little part of me wishes it hadn’t.

Karyn 2 years ago


And, almost MORE importantly, we need to tell this to ourselves – I support ME. When I was crying rivers over having to supplement after I had moved heaven and earth to breastfeed, through bitter tears and searing pain, I needed to support ME – to let go of the guilt and the feeling of failure, the worry that I wasn’t trying hard enough and conversely the worry that I was hurting my baby by trying TOO hard, insisting on nursing when my baby needed more than I could give. I could ignore the judgement coming from around me, but what I really needed was to let go of the judgement coming from inside.

LBM 2 years ago

I never felt any shame in not breastfeeding. And if anyone asked or rolled their eyes, I didn’t give a sh!t. It was none of their business. I don’t understand how some women get their panties in a wad over this. What works/worked for one may not work for another….why be so damn judgmental????

Keely 2 years ago

Yup. As the one crying rivers and pumping every. three. hours. around. the. clock. The fear of failure, the *assurance* of failure, poisoning every minute of that newborn phase. Yes. I needed this then. Glad it’s out there. Share.

Meg 2 years ago

My sister has MS and was unable to nurse her kids for more than four weeks before switching to formula, because her medication wasn’t safe for her babies. She went to La Leche League sking for advise on weaning and preventing engorgement. She was told she should stay off her medication and “Do what’s best for her baby.” She was so mad, she wanted to nurse, but decided having a mom who could walk and see was more important than breast/formula. I have done both, and am sick of the shaming women do over it. I was called an animal for nursing, and called lazy for formula. I dont care HOW you feed your baby, as long as you do.

    jennifer 1 year ago

    i am so sick that some of the people from LLL because some of them dont give a damn about the mom’s well-being. It appears to be that we are just a machine who give birth and we should breastfeed regardless of any circumstances including us being ill.

Wendy 2 years ago

Who freaking cares how your kid gets fed, as long as he/she is fed? Until you (you=judgmental person) take over the expenses of my child and watching my child starve because I can’t breastfeed, then, and only then, can you judge me. Actually, no, you can never judge me because I’m the one taking care of my child and doing what I feel is best for my child. When do you have time to care for your child if you’re spending all your time judging everyone else?

    Jess 2 years ago

    I love this, and will plagarize this quote from now on, thank you!

    “When do you have time to care for your child if you’re spending all your time judging everyone else?”

Arnebya 2 years ago

I have no damns to give about how a woman feeds her baby as long as her baby is fed. Each mother loves her child so the rest is bullshit; there’s nothing else to say. Are you not going to let your kids play with mine because mine were breastfed? Are you not going to let your kids play with the kids at the park because they were formula fed? OOOH and what brand did their mom choose? Bullshit. Support everyone.

    Mama and the City 2 years ago

    I love you.

      Basketcase 2 years ago

      Me too

angmo 2 years ago

Thank you- 2 years later and I still have that weird empty feeling about not being able to do what is supose to be soooo natural for women to do, breastfeeding. I remember struggling and pumping for hours just to get a couple ounces and just feeling so broken, like what am I doing wrong? why can’t these stupid boobs work? There big enough! I finally gave in after 8 weeks of trying and switched over to formula. So much grief we give each other. The formula available today is just as good as a mother’s milk so let’s stop judging!

    Kristin 2 years ago

    I know the feeling,. These 36G’s apparently do not produce enough milk. Pumped for an hour once and got one once and then accidentally spilled it. That was the end of that with my second child.

    First and third child experiences were no better. First kid, I was too sick recovering from pre-eclampsia and PPD to even think about anything else.

    Third kid started off better, but I think I was still was not producing enough milk. He nursed constantly – by the time he was 24-hours old, I had bleeding nipples. I also had a 19-month-old and 5-year-old at home and my husband worked nights. I did not need another struggle. So that ended that. :)

    Jenny 2 years ago

    I’m all for supporting women in their parenting choices. But it just isn’t truth that formula today is as good as breastmilk.

    Also, for the record, I feel like sometimes, as a breast feeding mother, that I’m judged MORE than those who formula feed…because let’s face it, the majority in this country formula feed. People almost act like you are crazy to be so dedicated to breast feeding. Women who breast feed are regularly frowned upon and or asked to leave when nursing in public. I think that this in turn makes those of us who choose breast feeding feel a little bullied, hence the reason for pointing out that our choice is healthier and more natural. Because honestly, I dont care what you choose for your child…it’s not like you’re poisoning your kid if you choose formula for preference or need…I just want acceptance for my choice to do what I feel is best for my kid, too! It’s not just formula feeders who feel attacked or shamed.

    Anita@ Losing Austin 2 years ago

    It’s perfectly fine to use formula by choice or by need, but part of the reason we still need breastfeeding awareness is because people still say why you just did- that formula is just as good. It’s not, and no one, even formula companies would claim it is.

      Tina 2 years ago

      seriously? I have seen mothers smoke and drink then breast is this healthier?
      To encourage breast feeding and saying it is better than formula first educate people on proper diet when breast feeding.

Harper 2 years ago

Indeed. We need a similar movement /attitude regarding birth choices. I’m really tired of all the smugness from women who’ve given birth naturally toward those of us who had to have c sections or have epidurals to bring our babies safely into the world.

    Erika 2 years ago

    I couldn’t agree with you more, Harper. It’s become an “us vs. them” situation. Let’s support one another as moms. The job is hard enough!

Rebeccah 2 years ago


Paige 2 years ago

I was that mom in the NICU…pumping like a crazy lady and getting only drops of milk…having an argument with the LC who accused me of poisoning my baby because I told the nurses it was ok to to supplement with formula. “A lifetime of gastrointestinal problems!” she declared in a 20min lecture on what a horrible person I am, before admitting there was no donated milk in the hospital. Before I told her to GTFO and never show her face in my room again because, seriously?! All of which is my long-winded way if saying YES! Support all moms, please! Whether you agree or not, whether you would do the same or different, just breathe. Be nice. Smile. Support.

    Autumn Yates 2 years ago

    I’m so sorry that you had to deal with such an arrogant and stubborn person at such a sensitive and emotionally trying time. Kudos to you for standing up for yourself and your child! No new mother should ever have to be treated that way.

    Helen 2 years ago

    I got that from one neonatologist who saw my baby when I asked how much formula should I give her if I felt like I needed to supplement her. I was old enough to be HIS mother and he’s practically shouting at me that my baby doesn’t need anything but breast milk.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago


    Catherine 2 years ago

    I am sorry but I enjoy having a week to celebrate all the challenges we have overcome to be able to breast feed!!! It is something to be proud of and celebrate. We have made it to 17 months so far. This week isn’t to bash formula feeders or moms who were not able to breastfeed. It to celebrate and support those of us who have been able to breastfeed. It is hard work and time consuming so why don’t we have a right to celebrate our hard work??? We aren’t hurting anyone. This sorta seems like you are bashing those of us who want to celebrate!!


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