Parenting

Horrify Your Friends And Family With These Doll Head Planters

by Valerie Williams
Updated: 
Originally Published: 
Image via Instagram/Janeycakesworld

Doll head planters are a new decor trend and we’re into it

As moms, we’ve been through the wringer as far as Pinterest home decor fads. Name a holiday wreath trend and we’ve tried. A Thanksgiving centerpiece involving real gourds and a shitload of seasonally-hued ribbon? Been there. Done that. Boring as hell. That’s why we’re kind of out of fucks to give and moving on to the straight-up morbid.

Planters. Made from the heads of old dolls. We’ve officially lost our shit and it’s delightful.

If you want to shock and horrify the wholesome, crafty mom down the street, fill your windowsills with a few of these unholy creations. To be honest, they’re pretty fantastic as far as sustainability and function. Your kid uses a baby doll until its head has popped off so many times it will no longer stay put? Time to repurpose, no matter how bone-chilling the result.

This is fine. Everything is fine.

If you’d like to keep the very souls of everyone who visits your house, just cram these living devil babies into every room. Their dead eyes will stop family and friends in their tracks. No one can ever accuse you of having phoned-in, mass-produced, Pottery Barn decor. Your taste runs more Morticia than Joanna Gaines.

Would you like to have coffee while enjoying the weather on the bench in my garden? Be my guest and make yourself some room. Try to ignore the teeny demon squeals as you move them aside.

And like, why stop with the expected? Dangle these little minions of the anti-Christ from all of your ornamental landscaping.

Because who needs the expected when you have the heart-stoppingly terrifying?

If baby head planters are a tad on the conventional side for you, why not just do horticulture in the hollowed-out abdomen of a haunted doll from your aunt’s attic? Everything about this says you definitely won’t end up with a tormented soul taking up residence in your home that lands you your very own episode of The Haunting. Go. Nuts.

Just try sleeping in my guest bedroom now that inspiration has struck me. No room is safe from my soulless plant babies and their hair made of vines.

You know what they say: reduce, reuse, and make all your friends and neighbors afraid for your mental state.

All I have to say is I’m going full-bore with this trend that finally aligns with who I am deep inside.

Sleep well, my pretties.

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