Remember those late nights trying to soothe a colicky baby? Or how you spent days bribing your three year old with M&Ms to pretty-pretty-please-poop-on-the-potty? We complain and grumble about these mundane, less-than-glamorous moments of motherhood, but I don’t know, the next phase of parenting looks pretty freaking scary to me.
As my six year old prepares to “graduate” from kindergarten, it suddenly feels like he’s one step away from junior high and falling in love and getting a driver’s license. When I really stop and consider some of the challenging and – yes – painful mom moments that are undoubtedly ahead of me, it makes me appreciate (and dare I say, enjoy?) these days when my biggest parenting dilemma is whether I should let my kids watch those obnoxious “Bubble Guppies” for the umpteenth time. Here are the ten moments I dread most…
1. When my kids ask me whether I ever smoked cigarettes, drank in high school or did any other naughty things and I have to decide whether to flat-out lie or tell them some version of the truth.
2. Changing my son’s sheets when he’s a teenager and finding evidence of … well … you know …
3. Having “the talk.” At least my husband and I each get stuck with initiating one, since we have a son and a daughter. But we moms get screwed. We’re the ones who have to sing the praises of tampons and explain how babies exit a woman’s body and make “You’re going to bleed every single month for the next 25 years!” sound exciting.
4. Being told “I hate you!” when it sure sounds like they mean it.
5. The first time one of my kids gets bullied: whether it’s online, at recess or by the local “mean girls.” I’d like to think it’s never going to happen, but it just seems kind of inevitable these days.
6. Living with a moody, dramatic, hormonal teenage girl. There’s only room for one moody female in this house and you’re looking at her. This is going to be fun. Oh, and yes, Mom and Dad, I realize this is what you call karma. You can stop laughing now.
7. Realizing I am no longer capable of helping with my kids’ homework (algebra, anyone?), which leads them to believe they are smarter than me.
8. Setting curfews and then staying up late, staring at the clock, waiting for them to walk in the door safely. Thank God for texting. Remember having to make that awful 11:30pm call to your parents to tell them you were going to be late?
9. Two words: driver’s permit.
10. The minute I go from being “Mommy” to just “Mom.”
What inevitable moments do you dread?