10 Dread Worthy Mom Moments

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Remember those late nights trying to soothe a colicky baby? Or how you spent days bribing your three year old with M&Ms to pretty-pretty-please-poop-on-the-potty? We complain and grumble about these mundane, less-than-glamorous moments of motherhood, but I don’t know, the next phase of parenting looks pretty freaking scary to me.

As my six year old prepares to “graduate” from kindergarten, it suddenly feels like he’s one step away from junior high and falling in love and getting a driver’s license. When I really stop and consider some of the challenging and – yes – painful mom moments that are undoubtedly ahead of me, it makes me appreciate (and dare I say, enjoy?) these days when my biggest parenting dilemma is whether I should let my kids watch those obnoxious “Bubble Guppies” for the umpteenth time. Here are the ten moments I dread most…

1. When my kids ask me whether I ever smoked cigarettes, drank in high school or did any other naughty things and I have to decide whether to flat-out lie or tell them some version of the truth.

2. Changing my son’s sheets when he’s a teenager and finding evidence of … well … you know …

3. Having “the talk.” At least my husband and I each get stuck with initiating one, since we have a son and a daughter. But we moms get screwed. We’re the ones who have to sing the praises of tampons and explain how babies exit a woman’s body and make “You’re going to bleed every single month for the next 25 years!” sound exciting.

4. Being told “I hate you!” when it sure sounds like they mean it.

5. The first time one of my kids gets bullied: whether it’s online, at recess or by the local “mean girls.” I’d like to think it’s never going to happen, but it just seems kind of inevitable these days.

6. Living with a moody, dramatic, hormonal teenage girl. There’s only room for one moody female in this house and you’re looking at her. This is going to be fun. Oh, and yes, Mom and Dad, I realize this is what you call karma. You can stop laughing now.

7. Realizing I am no longer capable of helping with my kids’ homework (algebra, anyone?), which leads them to believe they are smarter than me.

8. Setting curfews and then staying up late, staring at the clock, waiting for them to walk in the door safely. Thank God for texting. Remember having to make that awful 11:30pm call to your parents to tell them you were going to be late?

9. Two words: driver’s permit.

10. The minute I go from being “Mommy” to just “Mom.”

What inevitable moments do you dread?

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  1. 1

    tammy says

    I guess for me, its when my daughter start asking about boys :), not that i dread it, but am so protective that i wont want her to get hurt but i guess thats how they learn.
    Nice post Jessica Grimes

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  2. 2

    Janine Huldie says

    Yes to all of the above and I have two girls only 16 months apart. So, I will be having that conversation twice in less then two years time most likely. Heaven help me!!

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    • 3

      cass says

      my sister and I are 22 months apart…My parents pretty much evaluated what my sister could handle…and gave a general overview talk to the both of us at once, the keep your pants zipped until your married, and if you get pregnant, you’ll keep the baby, work, and finish high school. At a separate time I got a more in-depth talk, but the overview talk kind of broke the ice, and opened up the communication, plus it helped my younger sister understand why I was way moody, and that she needed to stay out of the way. My dad was included on all conversations, even though it might have been uncomfortable, at least we knew my parents were on the same page!

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  3. 6

    Tia says

    I have 2 teen stepsons and the way to prevent dealing with #2 is to just have them remove the sheets and take them to the washing machine when they need to be changed. It gets you (and them) out of really having to look at the awkward evidence, and you only have to do half the work of changing the sheets! (One of my least favorite chores…)
    And #6 is exactly why my husband and I are done with having kids (even though the boys are not technically mine)…I’m living with 2 teenage boys AND we have a 1 year old girl. I will have to try to survive both sexes as teenagers, and there are no other options.
    Older adults look at me like I’m crazy when I say that last part… :)

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    • 7

      twinmommy says

      No way am I dealing with #2. My eight year old b/g twins have been taught how to run the washer/dryer and strip their own beds for this very reason. I am tired of sorting through sharted underwear and in the future the evidence will be gone before I have to touch his clothes/sheets.

      The “talk” started here about a year ago when the kids started asking way too many questions about babies. I decided I wasn’t going to sugar coat anything and answered whatever questions they asked. Every few months one of them brings up something related and we start all over again. They both have a thorough understanding of the reproductive system and what will happen with both of them. Not too much talk yet on the safe sex end but again they are only 8. The thought of sex is still gross.

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  4. 8

    Jessica Smock says

    I was just thinking about when little boys stop saying, “Mommy” the other day. There is just nothing cuter than a little boy when he’s asking for his mommy. That day will certainly make me sad!

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  5. 9

    FrazzledRuby says

    I want my kids to respect themselves. For most my life, I’d say I was a good person, but I did spend some time just being wild. And I have tattoos that represent some of those times. I’m sure I’ll be explaining them. And convincing them that just because their parents made some poor choices, doesn’t mean they need to.

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  6. 10

    deneen says

    best advice i can give you: (ok listen CAREFULLY… are you listening??!!??) ok, when they are about 10, TEACH THEM HOW THE LAUNDRY SYSTEM WORKS! Honestly, its THE most important piece of advice for surviving both your soon-to-be teenage son and daughter!!! next piece of necessary advice : NEVER NEVER NEVER walk in a teenage boys room without knocking AND WAITING TO BE TOLD TO ENTER! …. NEVER!!

    Good Luck! let me know when you get here, i’ll buy you a really big bottle of wine and a straw! xod

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    • 11

      Meppie says

      Holy shitballs – you aren’t kidding. Little bastards don’t know the concept of the lock on the door? I am always really careful during the day… but there was a night… when I heard noises… and checking up on those noises… I now have that fucking image burned in my brain for all of eternity thank you.

      Laundry – best decision I ever made was having the boys strip their own sheets on laundry day and put them in the washer. Started that little gem when oldest was 10 (youngest got an early kick-start at 7).

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      • 13

        Ambria says

        Lol! I wish I had you as a parent. I lived in one of those houses where the adults either wouldn’t knock, or would knock, but walk right in anyway.

        On top of that, they would pitch a fit if the door was EVER locked. I would lock it anyway just so I could change my clothes in peace, and my grandmother would almost immediately be frantically jiggling the knob, demanding that I unlock the door and to know why it was locked.

        This happened with such speed and frequency, I’m now convinced that she must have been obsessively checking the knob in the event that it might have been locked. It’s amazing I turned out sane.

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  7. 14

    Jennifer says

    #7 happened in 2nd grade for me. Not because of the subject matter, but because the kids have to do the work the way the teachers teach it. Which is, of course, totally different than the way I learned it!

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  8. 15

    Claire says

    I am dreading #2 the most. First because of the awkwardness and then the irrefutable truth that he is no longer my little boy. Wah! I appreciate the advice about getting them to wash their own sheets and knocking.

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  9. 16

    Christy says

    I have three teenage boys. I thank God every day that I don’t have any daughters for the reason you stated (#6).

    #2 was shocking with the first one. The second one has hidden it from me and the third one, well.. I’m no longer shocked. Which is a little sad.

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  10. 17

    Lollie - The Fortuiotus Housewife says

    My husband continues to be amazed by my perpetual looking ahead, anticipating and planning, but I hadn’t even started to think about or dread any of these “bright” moments waiting for me on the parenting highway – I’ll go have my panic attack now, thanks pal.

    Teenage boy sheet changing – yikes! Never once thought of that one, and I’ve got two boys! Guess I’ll have to start teaching them to change their own sheets.

    But seriously, I’m already dreading the day, 10 years in the future, when my oldest heads off to college, leaving behind his two-year younger brother. They’re so tight, I just can’t imagine what my younger one will do without his partner-in-crime.

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