Yes, You Should Have a Third Child

I’ve run a few posts lately on the difficulties of having three children and the merits of having just two. I’m certainly not on a mission to prevent third children, but can see how the posts would be interpreted that way. Last week, a reader commented that she thought she wanted three kids, but was having second thoughts thanks to my postings, which was never my intent at all. So, for the record: I love having three children and truly can’t imagine my life any other way. If you are on the fence about if you should have a third child or not, I most definitely recommend expanding your family. Your days will no doubt be more hectic, more challenging and more overwhelming, but they will also be filled with more wonder and more love than ever before. How could you not want that?

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Here are 10 (out of a gazillion) reasons I love my third child…


1. He doesn’t just kiss you; he grabs your face with both hands and KISSES YOUR FACE OFF. He does’t just hug you; he envelopes you completely. Everyone he loves, he loves fiercely.


2. He brings out the silliness in everyone around him. It’s just impossible not to laugh around Evan.

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3. He dives into everything he does one hundred and ten percent (often without looking and always causing me near heart attacks, but still.)


4. He completely worships his big brother and big sister.


5. He will find his way into your arms and make himself completely at home there.

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Ev + friend

6. He is happy just to come along for the ride, his expectations pathetically low.


7. He’s got a style all his own, and he rocks it.


8. He is pure and utter sweetness, even when he is up to no good.


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9. He made our family complete, despite it never feeling incomplete before.


10. He will always be my baby, long after he isn’t a baby anymore. I know so, because he promised me. And I’m holding him to it.

About the writer


What started as an innocent on-line baby book to chronicle Jill Smokler’s stay-at-home days with her children, quickly transformed into a vibrant community of parents, brought together by a common theme: Parenting doesn’t have to be perfect. Welcome to Scary Mommy!


Anonymous 4 months ago

I think this post is one of the most inspiring way to say yes to a third child.. I wish I had a third child its to late for me, but for those who are thinking about it and nothing is standing in your way do it! Time goes by very quickly.

Melissa 8 months ago

I found this blog a year ago when I was debating on having a third child or not. I gave it a lot of thought and pondered over the decision for one year! I kept feeling indecisive. I never could exactly make my mind up. I never felt definitely YES I should do it, or NO I should not do it. I just felt scared, incomplete as if I was missing something with two kids, and confused.

If you absolutely can’t decide and are sitting on the fence, I’d say go for it! I had two beautiful girls before I tried for my third child. I now have a 10 month old baby boy. He is wonderful, sweet, the most relaxed baby I have, and I KNOW I’m done. There’s no guessing or wondering.

Now having said all that, I’m going to be real with you too. Three is a lot of work. It is more work than two for sure. One was hard for me, two was a breeze, and three is just a lot of work. After I bathe 2 kids, there’s still one more that needs a bath. Starting over with the newborn stage stinks, but at the same time, I feel his infancy has gone the fastest of all three kids. My kids are 7, 4, and 10 months.

I wouldn’t trade him for anything. I have no regrets, no more wondering/pondering! If you are here and you are a financially stable, married, and a mentally sane person capable of raising children, go for it!

Tina D 9 months ago

I have four…..and the world of possibilities have always seemed endless….we had a great system….a boy…7 years later a girl….five years later another girl (see the trend, college would have been paid for before the next one started) and then 12 months (yes months and 5 days to be exact) another girl….but I can’t imagine a world without her…..she has a huge quiet fierceness about her….she didn’t say at word at preschool the entire year, but could read…..she alternatively hates and loves her big sisters, worships her brother, gives her opinion (only at home) takes revenge after hugging you….and sings and dances into everyone hearts……

desiree 1 year ago

I have a 2 year old daughter and 1 year old son I want a third but is it too soon or no

Vanessa 2 years ago

The more I think about it, the more I want a third. My husband protests and at one point I suggested that if he feels so strongly about it, then he can just go have a vasectomy. I said it not thinking he would even consider it but he agreed so quickly that it broke my heart. His reasonings of course are valid (money and time) but I feel like someone is missing from our family.

natalya 2 years ago

I randomly found this blog posting and it literally brought tears to my eyes. My husband had a vasectomy a few months ago and we’re pretty sure he’s probably just about sterile. We have two under two right now and struggle to make ends meet, but I can’t help feeling that our family will always be missing that “third.” But I think it would be selfish to frantically try to conceive before the vasectomy takes effect, due to our financial position.

Bree 2 years ago

Violet has always been on board for her role as the baby of the family, she was my “lap baby” from the beginning, always snuggling into an empty lap. A week away from 5yo, she’s still a snuggler, the most chill, accommodating, even to her very emotionally needy 6yo sister, and a total joy.
When in doubt, ALWAYS, have that extra baby. You know the saying-You will never regret the children you have, just the ones you don’t.

Gina 2 years ago

This post has solved my 5 year long debate with myself about having another child… We have struggled for 5 years having 2 girls less than one year apart it seemed we were inevitably broke constantly and living in a place were little more than minimum wage is offered for work it was hard. I recently got a high paying job at my kids school no less and have now begun to scrutinize the idea more fiercely my birth control recently ran out and weve been playing it careful not entirely sure what we want. But the lure of having a son is very strong. Considerations about the 50/50 chance have been mulled over and wed be ecstatic for a girl also but its the worry of upsetting our life as it is now but your post reminded me that chaos is life it makes wonderful memories and life is never supposed to be calm. So I guess what Im saying is thank you.

Christina 2 years ago

I just want to say your son Evan is absolutely gorgeous. If I could dream up a cute little boy he would look just like him. I have two girls and have been on the fence about a third because I’d love to have a son, but not sure how good my chances of having another boy would be. Happy with my two girls. Thanks for the great article. :)

DontBlameTheKids 2 years ago

If I could afford the daycare bill (and also if I weren’t separated from my husband, obviously), I would have a third in a heartbeat. I was on the fence about two, but I don’t regret it, even though being a single mom of two is way, way harder than being a single mom of one.

Amber 2 years ago

your third and my third sound a lot alike. its either a boy thing or its a third child thing… my son is the sweetest, loving kid I have ever met. My older 2 who are grls are loving but he just shows love in a whole way. he picks flowers(well weeds), he tells you randomly he loves you, he cuddles, he hold my hand when we are walking.. He is the sweetest kid ever

Katelyn 2 years ago

My husband and I are at that point of discussing a third child but we’re so undecided about it. We have an almost seven year old boy and an almost five year old girl and everyone says “you have a boy and a girl, you don’t need anymore. That’s perfect!” A boy and a girl or two boys and two girls has nothing to do with it. My husband was the second child of four and I was the third child of three so we both have such good memories of growing up with multiple siblings. I think it’s just scarier the third time especially because our other two were so close in age that we literally had no time to adjust to sleep or independence with the kids and now their older and its in some ways easier. It makes going back to having a baby seem a bit scary but then I think if it wasn’t something we wanted or thought we could handle, we probably wouldn’t even be thinking about it at all. You don’t scare me away from three at all, in fact I think it’s more so the opposite. :)

Fullofjoy 2 years ago

We have 3 kiddos, and our third, a girl, sounds exactly like your third!! They really do add so much joy and laughter to the family. I couldn’t imagine not having 3, but many days wonder if two would’ve been a bit easier. I wouldn’t change it for the world!

mamato3kids 2 years ago

I would never have had my third child if I knew then what chaos he would bring to our lives. I had many people tell my when I just had two “Don’t have 3” Wish I would have listened.

LadyBenji 2 years ago

This is awesome and your son is so cute! All your kids are. I am hoping to conceive my third child this year. This post reminds me of why I am looking forward to it. Thank you.

Geri719 2 years ago

I have 3 children and love it!! They are 11, 9 and 4. Life is busy but so so joyful.

Annie 2 years ago


Kaz Beattie 2 years ago

Third and subsequent children have to work that little bit harder to win your time and affection, as babies they have to fit in around the families needs. This gives them a very different outlook on life .
They tend to use charm, charisma and comedy to gain attention as they know the usual negative tricks won’t work due to having wisened parents. They have a style of their own because they have been allowed make their own decisions and given more freedom.
When I was expecting my third I was terrified that it would be triple the work. The jump from one to two children was immense but a third and even a fourth were not like that at all. They were both joyous content babies who were simply happy to exist and be a part of something wonderful. No expectations were placed upon them and they have no expectation of the world. They work hard to please you and give the best most loving cuddles ever.
They care about my wellbeing as a mother and will do anything to please me.

tee 2 years ago

I loved this. Especially as we await #4 😉

mara 2 years ago

I have a boy age 7, daughter age 5 and another 1 1/2 year old son. I thought I was done with two and our third was unexpected. But I can’t imagine it any other way. The older two are completely enamored with him as he is with them. He is the happiest of all my children as a toddler which I attribute to him having so much love in the house. It’s amazing and my family wouldn’t feel complete without him even though as you stated it didn’t feel incomplete before.

Mari 2 years ago

love this! Very true! I was so set on my 2 girls who are 15 months apart. Practically raised them up as twins. Everything was so easy but we both really wanted a third child.. thats when we were blessed with our little boy! thank u for sharing!

erin h 2 years ago

alright sign me up for #3. even though i’ve got a chatty 5yo and a non sleeping 1yo, i’m ready for a little boy!

MSWShellsy 2 years ago

My third child, my “baby” is going to be 19 in a few weeks…and he’ll always be my “baby” too. So much of what you said about your little Evan can be said of my son as well. He made my life “more complete” than it had ever been, and I couldn’t imagine life without him.

Jennifer Walk 2 years ago

I am pregnant with my 3rd. A completely unexpected, astonishing, Earth-shattering discovery. Our daughters are 8 and 10. We had been ‘done’ having babies for quite some time! This article made me cry. Ok, the crazy pregnancy hormones probably had something to do with it, too. Although we certainly didn’t TRY to conceive this baby, I am becoming more grateful every day that we did. :)

    TheKnowerseeker 2 years ago

    Your daughters are probably thrilled, right? :-) I have all sons, three of them, and my older two *love* my youngest and are very protective big brothers of him. (My older two are closer in age to each other like your older two, though not quite so removed in age from their little brother as is your family’s case.)

Bobbi 2 years ago

I had twin girls via IVF and never planned on a third child. I was devastated when I found out I was (Surprise!) pregnant again. We had a third girl and she is my sunshine. She completed my family when I didn’t know it needed completing. I love her with every fiber of my being and I can’t imagine my life without her. If you’re on the fence about three, I don’t think you would regret having another.

Annie Reneau 2 years ago

Your Evan sounds almost exactly like my third – our only boy, and a surprise to boot. I adore him so much sometimes I just can’t stand it. He just oozes love and yumminess. Sweet post. :)

Ourfamily Barnhart 2 years ago

Deanna Spry Fike Baby # 3 was so stress free because it wasn't uncharted waters. & my older 2 (ages 5 & 7) adored the 3rd baby. Even if it isn't what you are planning, I'm betting if it happens, it will impact your family in GOOD ways.

Deanna Spry Fike 2 years ago

i have two children, and my husband had a vasectomy in february. now i am terrified.

Amber Carroll 2 years ago

I have 3 daughters and 1 step son and 1 on the way :) 4 kids can be a nightmare at times but I couldn't imagine my life any differently now and I'm sure the 5th that's coming will be a perfect fit to our already crazy family :)

Billie Jones 2 years ago

I have a boy like that one. Tear…

Kerri 2 years ago

This sounds just like my Evan – even he is my number 2. But will always be my baby!!!


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