My Number

I’ve wondered, on countless occasions, if I’d ever really feel like my family was complete. Would I ever not long for a peaceful newborn in my arms or stop feeling envious of the new mothers who got to inhale sweet baby smell rather than sweaty outdoor reeking older children? Would something suddenly click inside of me and allow me to stop holding on to the onsies and outgrown Halloween costumes and board books on the off chance that we may need them again? Would that ache ever go away?

I have friends with one child who knew the minute their babies were born that the proverbial kitchen was closed and their family was complete. I have friends who had their tubes tied after baby number one, two, three or four because there was no question that they never, ever wanted to be in that labor and delivery room again. And I have friends who knew for a fact that they never wanted to be parents in the first place.

But I’d never experienced any of those feelings of absolute certainty.

For the last five years, I’ve been pretty sure that three would be my forever number. It’s nice and round and there’s usually one child who’s not on my shit list at any given moment in time. But then, baby fever would inexplicably sweep over me and suddenly a family of six sounded more sweet than it did insane. Every late period was a roller coaster of emotion with imaginary future scenarios dancing in my head.

Until last week, when I finally had my moment.

In a weird missing-IUD-what-the-fuck-is-going-on experience, life with four children flashed before my eyes. The infant car seat. The formula. The diapers. The sleepless nights. The well visits. The precious middle of the night moments. The first smiles. And steps. And birthdays. But instead of foreseeing sibling introductions, games of flag football in the front yard or overflowing Thanksgiving dinner tables, for the first time I saw nothing but dollar signs, stress and turmoil.

And then, the moment was over. There would be no baby, and this time, rather than the familiar pit in my stomach of longing and loss and disappointment, I felt nothing but relief. Lots of it.

So, that’s when I knew for sure: My number is three.

Do you know yours?

About the writer


In addition to being the founder of all things Scary Mommy, Jill is also the New York Times bestselling author of Simon and Schuster’s Confessions of A Scary Mommy and Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies)

From Around the Web


Nora Fallon 10 months ago

Yes! It’s completely irrational! I’m 38, my last is only a few days shy of 6 months, he had ear bleeding colic the first three months and now is doing this “I’m teething and therefore won’t be sleeping” thing, but somehow the mind just pushes all that aside and thinks about the smell of their head and the smiles and coos. Damn that nurturing instinct!

Nora Fallon 10 months ago

Unfortunately my number is two. I’ve always wanted three but I’ll be having a hysterectomy next month. I’m physically ill over it and am mourning it more like a miscarriage than a hysterectomy. Realistically dh is 41 and I’m damn near 40 myself. I chose the sahm route so I could be home with our boys so financially it’s the best move. Plus I keep telling myself I’ll never have to drive a minivan!! But it hurts. It really, really hurts to know I won’t get that third :(

Didi 12 months ago

Our number keeps going up…right now we’re at three, but with two on the autism spectrum, we’re both pretty certain we want to adopt more autistic kids (they have a harder time getting placed) once I’m done with my Ph.D., as well as have 1 -2 more biokids.

erica 12 months ago

1 and happy. He is 7 and healthy and active child. We go big time for parties, sleep all night and play hard. Great vacations, private school, and lots of cousins to fight with. This isn’t for everyone but for us its perfect. We wanted a small family and some want a large. I understand.

Keera 12 months ago

My number is three but unfortunately my husband’s number is 1 :( hopefully we can work out a compromise for at least 2!!

Naomi 12 months ago

2 had always been MY number…. I got my little boy then was blessed with his perfect baby sister…. I knew in my heart my family was complete…. Then came divorce and a new relationship…. He has two older daughters… Mine are 1 & 3 his are 10 & 14…..
We had taken every precaution short of the virtually irreversible…..
Then it happened…. I’m pregnant with OUR BABY…..
I’m terrified! But oh so excited at the same time… Is that even possible???

Bebe 12 months ago

I’ve said 100 times since my son was born that I would never have another. My husband currently works a job that only allows him to be home one day a week and it’s hard work raising a baby alone. However, now that our son is 14 months old, sleeping through the night and getting to be more fun, I’m starting to think “Well, maybe ONE more wouldn’t be so bad..”. I think I’d like to have one more (hopefully a girl) and then get my tubes tied. My husband, being an only child himself, is fine with just one.

Anonymous 1 year ago

I was pretty sure one was my number, then when she was four, we apparently went temporarily insane and decided one more might be ok. After I found another job, of course, since I had just been laid off. We almost immediately found out we were having twins. I still think one was my number, lol.

Shanel 1 year ago

My husband is 14 years older than me, and said he wanted to be done having kids by the time he was 42. So we had our two girls (2 years and 6 months) and he turns 42 in July so I figured that was our number – had my tubes tied and everything. But a couple months ago he confessed he wouldn’t mind having another one (via adoption…my baby factory is forever closed!) and…well. it would be nice to have a boy. :-) But I’m perfectly happy with our two. A third would just be a happy bonus.

awray 1 year ago

my husband and I are having this discussion now as well, I can list all the reasons why having a fourth would make life so much crazier, and harder and all the reasons not to, but I can’t help but feel that tug towards having another

Emily 2 years ago

If only the moment we became a parent for the first time we could forget all our previous ideas about children, raising them, how many to have, everything!

The previous ideas were all misconceptions anyway.

I am similar to your husband. I always thought 3 and now I have 2. Two is a beautifully enough on good days and spewy and snotty enough on bad days,

Laine 2 years ago

I struggled with this everyday. At One I knew my family was not complete. Now with Two, I feel the same way! I love and lavish the baby time, but as soon as their second birthday hits I kind of want to pull my hair out (if they haven’t already!) I love my 2, but I am thinking possibly 3.

Kim 2 years ago

Well, I’m pregnant with #3, so I guess it will be three! Ha! My answer was always at least 3. 5 at most. BUT, now I know it’s 3. This is it. I refuse to have morning sickness EVER AGAIN. I hate pregnancy so much. I am so so so happy this will be my last!!!

dolcearia 3 years ago


dolcearia 3 years ago

Three. Or 6, depending on how you count. Had my son, now 17, autism plus. Divorce. Met hubby, who had three teen and twenty-somethings, so grown children. Had a sweet baby girl (now 10) and desperately wanted a NT sibling close to her age. Five miscarriages later, one took, and now Miss 6 is a joy. Thought we might do another, but cancer intervened and changed those those thoughts to just staying alive to rasr the ones I have. So three. Happily three.

themeanmama 3 years ago

I was done at 4, I am so glad I have #5!! and yes, I know I am done now.

Erin@MommyontheSpot 3 years ago

This post totally describes what I am going through right now. I am leaning more towards relief every time my period arrives. But there is that little part that ponders “wonder if.”

I’m saving this post to read next time I am confused.

Thanks for posting.

Nikki 3 years ago

I can’t tell you how much I can relate to this! Thank you for putting my feelings into words.

Emily 3 years ago

My number was 2, because that’s what I grew up as – one of 2 kids. But, after 2, we didn’t feel done. And then for a loooong time, I thought I wanted a 4th. I had a moment like yours — panic, then relief, and then I knew I was at my number. I call it “pressing the reset button” on my life and I knew I didn’t want to press that button.

Wendy 3 years ago

4. That’s our number. We have four, and although I LOVE babies, I know I’m done…finished… We are complete. Plus all the money it takes to feed kids, school, activities, clothes, college, etc. 4 is our limit! 😉

Laura 3 years ago

For several years I thought my number was one. And since that one was born with a rare form of dwarfism, there were genetic reasons to stop, although nothing certain — she was, according to the docs, a “new mutation,” since we could find no evidence in either family tree of anything similar going back several generations.

But then when she was about 7-1/2, I suddenly was just overwhelmed by the desire to have #2. Oddly, I never worried for a minute that a second child would have the same problem — and as it turns out, I was right. What I hadn’t expected was to have a boy; I was convinced I’d have two girls. Oh well….but at that point I knew two was my number. Baby factory was closed, permanently!

Jennifer 3 years ago

Two. Hands down. Factory closed. No questions asked. TWO!

Kelta 3 years ago

So hard. I’m getting older. Have one teenager and one toddler and I still don’t know if I’m done. Some days I want another one and other days I’m not so sure, but I know I have to decide soon, since it’s eventually going to be too late to be able to make that decision. Right now, my number is 2, but on another day, that could change.

Jennifer 3 years ago

While my husband had been preaching to me that we are done at 4 all girls I still don’t feel like we are done. But like I tell my husband if we are meant to have more we will no matter how hard you try to prevent it. But on a happy note he seems to be changing his mind, he even has outright said that he want another one. Now just how to convince him I don’t mind “suffering” thru another pregnancy.

K 3 years ago

This question is so hard for me. DH and I wanted a huge family. 6-8 kids. Then we found out we couldn’t have children. Years of ivf gave us 2 fabulous girls. But my mind, heart, body and home ache for mor children.

Mercy 3 years ago

I come from a large family (8) but I never felt like I could have so many. Any time I was asked how many kids I wanted, I always replied, “I’ll start with one and see where I go from there.”

When I got pregnant with my first, it wasn’t anything like the bliss and joy so many people made of pregnancy. I knew I wanted to wait on a second ’till he was at least 18 months. Well, I got pg with #2 when he was 9 months old.

I decided I wanted a third but wanted to give it time since both deliveries had been C’s. We were trying to be careful but didn’t do a good job as #3 came along when #2 was 10 months old. As soon as I knew I was pregnant again I knew I was done and began researching tubal ligation. Talked with hubby about it and he was in complete agreement.

Now my kids are 5, 3, and 2, and I’m honestly happy to be done with pregnancy, and baby care.

Gab 3 years ago

DH and I both came from 3, and talked about either 2 or 4. After PPD with #1, we considered stopping there. However, even though #1 is just 6 months, we both bring up #2 often. I can’t imagine having more than 2, though, so I’m pretty sure after #2, we’ll be done.

Mercy 3 years ago

If you have a C, I recommend tying up at the same time. That’s what I did. It will save you having another surgery later.

Nicole(Whole Strides) 3 years ago

I don’t know. I think it was three or four, but we’re done at two for medical reasons, which is a bummer. I’m still not really over it.

youdidwhat 3 years ago

BEING a grandma IS the best thing ever! Makes those Damon teen years worth every minute. My magic number was 2. Both girls and the grand baby is a girl too. She is so much easier than the original. Thank God at least for me.

Kami Ayres 3 years ago

Tracy, I always said my number was zero. However, I thought we would try and got two the 1st time. Thank God it was only one on the 2nd try. My brain and body are bad at math :)

Kami Ayres 3 years ago

I thought “well let’s try for one then see where we go”. I got identical twin boys on my first try. So, two it was for a bit. Then, I didn’t plan or didn’t not plan and ended up with #3. That is my number. I delivered him and the doctor tied me up! Thank God, because the magical number 3 turned out to be KARMA!!

tracy@sellabitmum 3 years ago

My number was always zero. Yet I have three. I always sucked at math.

Deanna Kyle 3 years ago

2 is it. I’m 44 with a 6 year old and a 3 year old. I’m done!

Jenny 3 years ago

I didn’t have a number in mind when we started. Our first had colic that stretched out into shrieking crybaby-itis for months on end, so there were many days when I said I wouldn’t be able to go through it again. After some recovery time, I got back to thinking maybe two more kids…maybe? Second child had colic, and that’s when I knew my number was TWO. Husband got snipped before my womb had even shrunk back to a normal post-partum size. I don’t make easy babies. :)

Kristen Brakeman 3 years ago

We also thought just two, but then those baby pangs kept coming. They were totally irrational. It’s like your mind just washes away all the exhaustion and bad memories of babydom – I guess it has to be that way or the human race would go extinct. After the third I only had the baby pangs a couple times when she was about four, but I was so exhausted I knew that 3 was it. And I was old – did I mention I was so very old?

Hana 3 years ago

When I was pregnant w/my second child’s aunt who has 5 children told me that there is nothing better to give your child than a sibling. After 3 kids I can say that it’s so absolutely true.

Christine 3 years ago

I always thought two was my number, and then my third precious baby came along, and I was complete. Then I got pregnant with #4 and had a loss and I was for sure I was done – i did not want to experience that loss again. Now that the baby is three, I am not so sure. I still feel like I am missing a person at our table, even though my husband is emphatic that he is done.
So maybe three?

AimeeWrites 3 years ago

I’ve ALWAYS known my number is 2, from the time I was a girl. Still, there is that strange maternal instinct that pulls now and then. Extremely dangerous pregnancies cemented the number…but when I really, really knew 100%? When baby #2 was several months old, and I had a dream that I was pregnant. I woke up in a panic; it had been a horrible nightmare. Yes, when it’s a nightmare, you know you’re finished.

C. Lee Reed 3 years ago

My magic number is 1. She’s a wonderful 1. We love our 1. Could there be 1 more? 1 is good.

SB 3 years ago

I know I shouldn’t have anymore kids because I can’t stand my husband and I know we can’t afford it but I really want my child to have a sibbling so she can have someone to lean on in life. I know I would be completely lost without my sis. It sucks that she has to go without because of my bad choices in life :(

Heather M. 3 years ago

I laugh as I read this. My husband and I never questioned our number. It was 2. I had JUST gotten to the point of survival with our first child (14 months) when my husband suggested it was time to start trying for #2. Internally, I moaned. Can’t I just enjoy one a little bit longer? It took no time at all to get pregnant and so 2 years and almost 4 months later, our son was born. Yes, our family was complete. I cried during my labor thinking this was my last time and soon, we would be complete. I took more time with my son. I cuddled him longer, I rocked him longer. I knew this was the last time I would experience these moments. Then, when my son was 2 (and a MAJOR handful as was his sister at 4), I started CRAVING another child. WHAT?!?! It came out of nowhere and hit me like a ton of bricks. No, we only wanted 2. I kept trying to tell myself that we were complete. But for 6 months, it was all I could think about. My husband grew up in a large family (5 kids) and I was part of a blended family (6 kids). I talked to all my friends and finally opened up to my husband about my feelings on a weekend away from the kids. I caught him off guard, but he quickly was okay with the idea of another child. After all, I didn’t want to look back in 10-15 years and regret not having had another baby. Once we made the decision, I felt a burden lift off of me. It was the right choice. We tried for a while, I got pregnant and then lost the baby. That was a painful miscarriage. I wanted that baby. I missed that baby. I was depressed. After trying for almost a year, we finally gave up trying. It just wasn’t meant to be. Meanwhile, my brother was on the kidney transplant. He had meet his future wife and was getting married. After their wedding, we decided that I would test to see if I was a match. We had our surgery 7 months later. Almost three months afterwards, I found out I was pregnant. Holy cow. My body couldn’t handle this. I just had an organ removed and needed time to recover. My pregnancy was HORRIBLE, MISERABLE! Instead of post-partum, I had pregnancy depression. My son was born 2 weeks before the 1st anniversary of my brother’s transplant. He was incredible. Such an easy baby, so sweet. He slept through the night early on, was happy-go-lucky and went with the flow (which was much needed as I had two older kids to haul around to school and activities.) My sweet boy had a personality so different than his older brother and sister. He truly was our gift from God for the gift I gave my brother. We moved when he was 11 months old and 2 days after his 1st birthday, I found out I was pregnant again. I was REELING!!!!!!! I had just moved, gotten my body back somewhat and was feeling pretty good. I kept thinking what had I done to deserve another child. I only wanted 2, but then craved a third. Now, number 4 was on the way. How would I handle that many kids, with two of them so close in age. Again, another tough pregnancy. My daughter was born 19 months after my son. Now our first two kids fought like crazy. It was constant. They couldn’t stand each other. It drove us NUTS!!!!!!!!!! I never stopped questioning why this happened to me. Well, the Big Guy upstairs was SOOO laughing at me. His plan had been in place all along and I just had to learn to accept it and enjoy the journey he was taking me on. Our daughter was not as tough as our first one, but she definitely had a strong personality like her big sis. She took a lot of time and energy and the older kids didn’t like her too much, since she cried A LOT! As she became mobile and more fun, my oldest daughter began to interact with her more. Their relationship changed and to this day, they are extremely close (very surprising for the age difference and stages of life they are in.) My boys have always played together, but the older my #2 son gets, the less patience he has for son #3. The amazing, incredible gift we were given is that #3 and #4 are so very close. They love each other so much and are amazing to watch. We finally got to see siblings who love to be together. My husband and I are incredibly blessed. We know now why we had 4. It’s super hard; we never manage to give each one the attention they need. They pull at us at the same time. There are days we wonder how we are going to make it. But the rewards FAR OUTWEIGH the difficulties. We are incredibly blessed and experience so much love! And no, I have ABSOLUTELY NO DESIRE AT ALL for #5!

Amy 3 years ago

I am on No. 1 and she is only four months old. I remember the moment after she was born and laid on my chest, I took one good look at her and said “I would do this again!” Granted, since then, the many countless hours of NOT sleeping, the crankiness, having to deal with baby and dog while my husband is deployed…well, it got me thinking. I have an older brother, my mom has a sister and my dad is the last of 12!~ My LO is only 4 mos old and my husband is about to leave. Can I do all of it again with a 2 yr old, a dog and a newborn?! All I know is this: it will partly suck, I will cry, LO will cry and I will go through so many milestones by myself. But in my heart, I know when he gets home in 6mos., I will be ready to try for No 2. I do believe that 2 is my number despite the ups and downs…which are just part of life. When I am having a hard day I just think back to the day she was born and the blessing that was bestowed on our family by God. I want that again one day :) At least 2, then we can go from there!

SCB 3 years ago

I wanted three kids, but my husband only wanted two. I waited a long time to start a family, so what we decided was going to be the final answer. I agreed to two, but got a promise that we could replace our very aged dogs when they passed on (he was hoping to be done with pets). I was sad at the time, but ten years later we both love the dog and I don’t regret our decision. Two is a good number for us, and he was smarter than I was to know it. (And I was smarter than he was to know that life is happier with a dog.)

Amber 3 years ago

Soooo I guess that I don’t have the “number” feeling :/ not to say that my husband and I are trying but we are not trying to not try ya know? Call me crazy but my husband and I have four. I had 3 from my ex when he met me and then we had an oopsie baby (I was on BC) Now we both feel like we are just going to see what happens. We have girl, girl, boy, girl. Financially things would be a stretch but sometimes you just find the room in your wallet and in your heart and somehow grasp and hang on to that sanity. But life is an adventure and I am living mine! :)

crzymomof2 3 years ago

My # should have been one but I have two!! Oh well, the best laid plans….

I love both of them but it would defnitely have been easier with just one, especially now that I’m a single mom

Jessica 3 years ago

My number is 1, my boyfriend wants 4.. So, there is talk about more children. All of my friends who were pregnant around the same time I was with my first child are now pregnant again. This makes me consider a second baby, but thats about it. I have never thought of myself as a mother of a large family. I want to be able to spoil my kids without having to put a budget on my life.

Some of my friends have asked me if I’m going to give my son a brother or sister, my answer is always: “I dont know”. I guess for now my number is for sure 1.

CoraD 3 years ago

I was about to post the exact same thing, right down to the two girls part. Love them, but I never want to voluntarily go through the infant stage again.

Lisa 3 years ago

My number was one, my husband’s was two. We wound up with twins, we both got our way. I get my baby fix through other people’s babies. And even if we wanted 3, I’d never even try because we get things in sets…and I can’t handle FOUR. (p.s. I’m one of four…I have told my mom I think she was nuts/super woman)

Kim 3 years ago

Melissa, this is why you should have more children. I actually felt like I was “cheating” on my first when I was pregnant with my 2nd and resisted getting too attached of #2 while in my belly. But as mother nature would have it you learn how big love is when you have each baby. I have 4 girls now and am head over heels for each one. I do get a very conflicted feeling when baby #1 picks on. say, baby #3- how to ferociously protect & defend my ofspring when they are both loves of my life??? If you feel that kind of love it just increases exponentially.

Kim 3 years ago

I wondered if I would know when I was through having kids. After my third in 4 years I knew I was not finished. With my children being an average of 18-22 months apart I realized I would get the itch for a new baby every 12-14 months after each newborn. It was like a baby-making assembly line. I went for #4 and swear I knew I was done after my 4th c-section. Or so I thought – 12 or more months later I got the DT’s when I didn’t go for #5 -for all that comes with babyhood. I resisted the urge and held fast at 4! The longing for a new life, a new personality, a new family member continues with my understanding that all real mamas desire all the good that comes with having a baby. The genuine hard work is what stops those feelings from becoming reality. My mom always said, “that is the best times of your life (when your kids are litle). you just don’ realize it until it is over.” I said, “I’ll let you know once I pick my head up”, toiling busily through their childhood trying to remember to look up and smell the roses. My # is 4- 4 amazing girls!

Danielle 3 years ago

OMG! That’s expensive. Thank God I live in Finland with state run, regulated subsidized day care! And some people here complain that 263 euros a month is expensive : /

Mom of Many 3 years ago

Yeah they offered the same to me, I could not think about doing it! Nature did it all by itself. I think the what ifs will always be there. The strange thing is, my son and daughters talk about them and have even mentioned one was a boy and one was a girl, well we will never know. I lost the first one at 9 weeks and the 2nd one at 12 weeks. My triplets are now 10 going on 18!

Nina 3 years ago

Mine is four. DONE.

Amanda 3 years ago

I always imagined myself with two MAYBE three if it was a whoops, but after having my first(and only so far) I’m debating if i EVER want to have another. Sure, the new baby smell and all the cute little things they wear sound nice, but Ill just watch someone else’s child. Having one who was EXACTLY like me as a child has made me realize that my mother had the patience of a saint(and hell could of applied for it, for just allowing me to reach school age). I also realize that if it had been me that was first born instead of my brother, that I would more than likely been an only child. Sorry kid, but you just might be an only child as well, as much as Id LOVE to flaunt around a baby belly, have awesome craving that’ll make normal people green, and perhaps have all the pink clothes any one person could drown in…..the thought of having ANOTHER one just like me, simply scares the ever loving shit out of me.

Melissa 3 years ago


Melissa 3 years ago

I always thought 2 for me. Then I had number 1. He is almost 3 and such a handful but he’s also a heartful. I can’t possibly imagine being able to love another child as much as I love him & I feel that my parenting would suffer if I all of sudden had to divide my time. I feel so blessed that I can give him my full attention as a stay-at-home mom. I realized I don’t need society to tell me that I “need” more than one. I just know it in my heart.

Stephanie 3 years ago

Two…after a second pregnancy that consisted of 2 months hospital bedrest and my son arriving 6wks early during a 3.5 hour c-section, I was pretty sure we were done.
But in case I wasn’t dr made the decision very easy when at my postpartum check-up he informed me that I was lucky that I came through my c-section (it was 50/50 that I wasn’t going to make it) and if I had another baby, more than likely i wouldn’t be as lucky the next time around!
So yep 2 is my number and I know that’s perfect!!!

Debra 3 years ago

Our first scan showed 4. The loving, caring doctors (can you read the sarcasm?) offered to “reduce” to two for us. I would have died before letting them and told them as much. But sweet little #4 made the decision on his/her own… only staying with his/her brother and sisters for 12 weeks. I was sad, and still think about the ‘what ifs’, but ultimately, the trio nearly killed me, so maybe that loss was a blessing in disguise.

Aimee 3 years ago

Tracie, I’m with you. I’ve never felt like I had the capacity to mother more than my one son (age 11). And that’s okay because he is awesome! 😉

Betty 3 years ago

Mine was just 1 which soon became let’s have 2 and then gotta have a 3 but 3 came with a 4 so then my number was absolutely without a doubt 4.

Mom of Many 3 years ago

LOL, all of a sudden I dont feel alone !! My first scan showed 5!!! 3 survived and my triplets were born, but always missed the other 2 even though I never knew them… then married my hubby and added him to our pack …… 5 is my number!

Love em babies 3 years ago

My number is 4..always thought it was 2 and took precautions to only have 2..but God had other plans for us. lol And who better to plan for you than the one who knows your life from beginning to end? I have an 18 year old, 16 year old, 2 year old & and am pregnant right now with #4. So much fun!! One in university, one in highschool, one potty training and one being created…I wouldn’t change a thing.

Tracy 3 years ago

When I got married, I not only got a husband, but a sweet little 3 yr old boy as well. My step-son definitely increased my want to have children. We decided we would have 3 additional.

Then I became pregnant with my first. It was the pregnancy from hell. While I firmly believed what I had was normal morning sickness (24/7 throwing up), I quickly found out I was one of the lucky few to have something called Hyperemesis Gravidarium (anyone keeping tabs on Prince William’s wife Kate?). A wonderful, rare but severe form of 24/7 morning sickness that resulted in several hospitalizations and 6 mos of non-stop vomiting and nausea. Morning sickness my ass. I can’t even put a name on it. I cursed every woman who used to tell me “I had no sickness at all.” I felt cheated and robbed of what was supposed to be a “blessing” and “wonderful” experience. After a last ditch effort of steroid treatment so I would stop losing weight and be able to keep at least liquids down, things seemed to get better. My son came into the world 5 weeks premature, but healthy and happy.

After a year or 2, I started having that “craving” again for another little one (it’s amazing how your mind can forget all the awful stuff). So even after my first grueling pregnancy I figured the second one couldn’t possibly be so bad. I was so very wrong. It was worse.

Tommy was born only 2 weeks early and at healthy weight despite my frail and gaunt frame. This time the sickness lasted up until my little bugger was delivered. Even so, I wasn’t ready to say “tie the tubes” but after such difficulty becoming pregnant with my other 2, I thought for sure it wouldn’t happen again anyway. Plus the fact that at age 36, I felt I was getting to “over the hill” to have anymore. I don’t know why we convince ourselves of such nonsense.

Obviously I was wrong again. When Tommy was a year and a half old we got a surprise…I was pregnant again. We weren’t even trying so I couldn’t believe when the test came back positive. Instead of any feelings of joy, I burst into tears and sobbed at the prospect of another HG pregnancy. I couldn’t think of anything else. Not a new baby to cuddle, new nursery items, none of it. All I could focus on was the extreme morning sickness that was going to take over my body for 9 grueling months. My husband’s response was to laugh and say I was being ridiculous and thinking too negatively. I felt guilty, scared, overwhelmed all at the same time. Even contemplated the unthinkable (as many women with HG pregnancies do). He had no idea what it was like, so how could he possibly understand?

By far the worst of all my pregnancies, the sickness started at exactly 6 weeks. I was on every medication known to treat vomiting and nausea (even meds that are prescribed to cancer patients) that they could possibly give me. I lost 30 lbs in the first trimester. What was even worse is I couldn’t keep down my thyroid medication which is detrimental to me not lapsing into a Thyroid “Storm” type situation or coma. I had specialists out the wazoo using me as a “test” case to see how to best treat me. I was getting shots and infusions every week. Oh and did I mention I was still working 40 hours a week for an asshole CEO that wouldn’t even give me time off for the infusions (I had to use my lunch hour)? I couldn’t help but have anxiety about how this poor baby was going to survive all this trauma. My endocronologist warned me that the baby could be born with disabilities. I was a wreck.

5 weeks before my due date, I gave birth to another preemie. Though small, he was beautiful and healthy. Another boy for the Moore’s, bringing our total to 4.

Well my youngest is now 5 and that sweet little 3 yr old step-son is 16 and learning to drive. Although I sometimes have that longing for a nuzzling baby in my arms, I am quickly reminded every time I have a stomach bug, or a flu that another 8-9 months of constant vomiting and dehydration is not something I am willing to go through again. I came to terms a couple of years ago that I am quite content knowing that my boys are all healthy and happy, despite the odds. My number is 4.

Mom of Many 3 years ago

I’m with you!!!
I have 10 year old triplets, always wanted another 1, but then married my wonderful husband, he has a 10 year old daughter and a 8 year old son! Talked about another but decided, it would not be fair on our “patch work family” to add another one ….. and looking forward to spending quiet time with him alone… eventually!
5 is our number, but hell I loved the movie “Cheaper by the dozen”

Kiwi 3 years ago

After having my third I realized that my number was one…lol.
But we love them all just the same.

Meegan 3 years ago

My magic number is still up in the air…My husband and I have 5, count ’em, 5 girls, ages 12, 11, 8, 6, and 4. I’m so excited because my youngest will be starting school in September, and I will have the house to myself (I’m a stay at home mom), but every now and then, I miss having a baby in the house…We were always trying for a boy, but instead were blessed with daughters. I think that if I could guarantee a boy, I would go for number 6. Not saying that another girl wouldn’t be loved and cherished, it is just the fact that we never had a boy, and my husband feels a bit singled out, poor guy! LOL

MaybeThree 3 years ago

my number has depended on the sexes of the babies i had – i always wanted 2 of the same or three. didn’t matter if the two were girls or boys as long as they where the same – if the first two were a boy & girl ( like i have now) then i wanted 3 – so now i really want that third!! :)

Anna Hettick 3 years ago

My number is 2. I always said I wanted 4 boys. Crazy I know. But then I had a girl and a boy and we are done. I don’t have the patience for any more! :)

Joy 3 years ago

It’s becoming obvious my number is TWO. Unfortunately we have THREE kids, so we’re doing our best to hide that.

I just got an email from The Bump about “13 Signs You’re Ready for Another Baby” on my blog, my ovaries responded. I don’t want to troll your blog w/my link but spoiler: We are NOT ready. (Ever.)

Arnebya 3 years ago

Four. Our number is and always will be four. We have three. There won’t be a fourth, I don’t think, and that ache will always be there.

Tired momma 3 years ago

I always knew 4 was the number and once we had our 3rd I was so overwhelmed I felt like the 4th would never happen. Thankfully we were blessed with our 4th child just as We was getting the hang of being outnumbered. When my little one was born we had 4 children ages 6 and under. They are getting big fast. It’s like we blinked and they are now 9,7,5,2. Already wish I could go back to the easier baby days. So blessed to be a momma of 4 healthy children. In case you are wondering we have boy, girl, boy, girl.

caz16 3 years ago

Always wanted 2 growing up. This turned to 3 then 4 when married to my ex. Now have a new man and number 5 is in my arms. 5 is DEFINITELY my number lol.

Cassy 3 years ago

I’ve had two “oops” babies with two different kinds of birth control and birth control isn’t 100% effective even used correctly. The first time I may not have been using the birth control correctly but the second time I certainly was.

Kristen Mae 3 years ago

Two is my number, because that’s all the eyes I have. If I had one more, for sure one would always be unsupervised… =/

(I wrote a blog post about it too, called “Only if I Grow a Second Set of Eyes, Honey: Why Two Kids is Enough” if anyone cares to check out my blog.)

Cris 3 years ago

Oh, so to answer the question my # is 3

Cris 3 years ago

I had my first son at 22 and my second 18 months later. It was chaotic and fun all in one. I absolutely “thought” I was done. I loved my household and swore it couldn’t take anymore estrogen than I was giving it. LOL. Then my Brother and SIL had a baby girl…. I WAS IN LOVE!!! At this time my second son was 4 so i was almost done being the “full time mom”, with him starting school the following year. I would drop by their hose just to feed and change her and get one BIG ole whiff of baby before continuing on with my day. Needless to say I was pregnant 3 months later. I was bless (and cursed!!) with my baby girl.
Last year I caught that darn baby fever. My daughter is 7. About a month into my ”fever” my cousin asked if I would babysit for him, and of course i said yes with joy……. Well lets just say that was my baby fever “vaccination”!!!!!!!

Shavonna 3 years ago

One! Forever and without a doubt! I knew it would ONLY be ONE before our son was out of my womb.

Callie 3 years ago

Baby fever – what’s that!? TWO, my number is TWO. And even then my husband had to convince me to have baby #2. As for stopping at two, well, I have never been more certain of anything in my life. I pity pregnant women and new mothers. I don’t mind holding a newborn, but I don’t feel any kind of pull to create one of my own.

I’m just not good in the baby/toddler period. I love parenting my 4 year old. I don’t think I would survive another babyhood.

Bri 3 years ago

I always thought I would have 3 or 4 but turns out 2 is where we will stop. Not because I don’t want more, there is a part of me that still does but the long sleepless nights and living in a daze for a few years is not something I can do again. You see, my Hubby works crazy hours and gone a lot so I am kinda a full-time (out-side-the-home) working single mom. But the other issue is health. I had preeclapsia with both children and both were quite early. I had an IUD placed after kid 2 which desided to migrate to my intestines! I had to have surgery to get it out and disided with all these issues, we were done. Tube tied! yes, I said tube, only have one ovary and one tube. You’d think the insurance and doctors would have given me a discount! Oh and half a uterus, I am blessed to have my two!

michelle 3 years ago

My number in an “ideal world” would be 4 (two boys two girls). Hubby wants 2 so I’m hoping to convince him to try for 3. The idea of twins seem overwhelming but if pregnancy #3 ended up being twins then I know that 4 would be meant to be…right now we have a 10 month old and I’m 32 so who knows what life will bring :)

Christy 3 years ago

My number is 2…always has been :) I’m 1 month out from my due date with baby number 2 and I am so ready to be done! My son is about to be 4 and I have been wanting baby number 2 for a while…Mind you however, that a little over 2 years ago, we got custody of my 4 step sons…So, that makes a grand total of 6 kids after the baby is born. All boys mind you! I would love to have a girl…but I am going to have to be content in waiting on one of my siblings to have a baby girl for me to spoil :) 6 kids and 2 pregnancies is more than enough for this tired mom!

Mandie 3 years ago

People still call me crazy but I’ve always wanted 5 children. I come from a long line of big families,and I didn’t want to be the one to break that (no really,not just because of the fact.I actually did want 5 babies). I just had that gut feeling that I would have 5 babies. Our first was here in a blink of an eye,pregnancy was a breeze,labor and delivery was scary (because of it being my first time,and I don’t care what anyone says…yes its awesome to bring a new life in the world but scary as hell at the same time). My 2nd daughter,the pregnancy was different.Not too bad morning sickness,but morning sickness nonetheless. Ended up having to be induced which was worse than natural labor by far (until the epidurals kicked in with both babies,then ignorant bliss set in). With my third,pregnancy wasn’t that great due to constant morning sickness,sleep deprivation(from my 3 yr old and 4 month old) and was crazy.The delivery was somewhat better than my 2nd because I didn’t have to be induced.After my 3rd I KNEW I wanted more but my husband was more of the “Nope I’m done” kinda person about it.Mind you this,he has wanted a boy and there we were staring at a house full of only girls (which I didn’t mind at all). HE actually was ready for #4 and decided he wanted to try for #4. And sure enough I ended up pregnant with DAUGHTER #4. I’m not gonna lie,the look on his face when I saw those three lines and I knew he did too was kinda heart breaking and I was deciding that 4 was our number at the time. I don’t know if I could deal with someone who was disappointed that our children were not the gender he wanted ya know? Well that got straightened out,yes he was a bit disappointed he didn’t get his boy but he was content with his girls (who acted like boys anyway). This pregnancy took its toll. Morning sickness to where I(on several occasions) had to put my fussy 1 yr old to the side while I made a mad dash to the toilet to throw up whatever I could possibly manage to have eaten in the past 2 days. Had continuous colds and headaches.Ended up with Gestational Diabetes,and had a tooth that decided to get a wicked cavity that I wasn’t allowed to get fixed until after I had the baby. To say the least laying on that hospital bed,in labor, I was sure that 4 was a pretty good number and I could live with that. Then wouldn’t ya know it,I backed out of the tubal because I was wrong.I wanted one more.Just one more to try and get the boy that would complete our family.My husband was having none of it.He was good with our 4 daughters (I think the thought of having to deal with one more PMS week later in life scared the hell out of him to be honest). Well…2 years later,and a glance across the table(yes all we had to do was look at eachother and I ended up pregnant lol) pregnant with baby #5. Oh my geez I never knew pregnancy could be so ROUGH! Combine all the other symptoms I’ve had on top of about 40 new ones and that was this pregnancy. closer to the end of my pregnancy for 2 weeks straight I was having braxton hicks that never regulated.NEVER. They would get pretty frequent then once I thought they might have been getting stronger they stopped. 2 weeks of “Is this it??” hell. Finally one night I had them all day(not close together or felt like they were getting stronger).Went to sleep,woke up 20 minutes later to contractions that were almost 6 minutes apart. By the time my momma got her to keep an eye on our daughters they were 3 minutes apart,and I pretty much had to be carried(or dragged) to the car,and into the hospital. I’ve always had an epidural by the time I got to 7 cms dilated.(yes I know they are not the best,my choice and I chose not to feel like I was dying by being ripped apart from the inside-out).By the time I got to the maternity ward the contractions were a good 1 1/1- 2 minutes apart and HURT! Come to find out the only thing holding baby in was my water hadn’t broke.I was 9 1/2 dilated and 100% effaced and it was go time.No epidural,no pain meds. A la natural all the way. When I pushed baby out it did,it literally felt like someone was ripping out all my insides through there,and then decided to put them back in and do it all over again.(and that is just one description I can give,vague one at that). Once they put my beautiful baby BOY in my arms,I knew looking at him…right there…with all his boyness that 5 was my number.10 minutes after having him I was taken down and got my tubes tied. 4 daughters and 1 son… (sorry had to tell the story to get the full effect of why 5 was my number)

Lizzy 3 years ago

Our first is 9.5 months old right now. I know we’ll definitely have two, and maybe three, depending on $. I live in a major city, so I’m up there with the woman who posted about expensive daycare. It’s a big part of why we’d only have two children. But we have a while to go. I can’t wait to start trying with #2, but I do love my early mornings with my little girl.

On another note, I’m amazed at the amount of “oops” babies posted about here. I’ve been on the Pill for my entire adult life except for when I wanted to get pregnant and have never had an oops. I don’t get it…okay, I get one “oops” baby, but more than that? Wouldn’t one “oops” teach you how to use birth control correctly?

vfranklyn 3 years ago

One is plenty for me. She’s a girl and everything I ever wanted and more.

Marie 3 years ago

When I married – I told my husband I did not want ANY kids…EVER! The thought of having children sicked me. I never had that mothering feeling like I had to have a baby. For years my grandmother asked when I was going to have a baby and I always said NO WAY. When she passed I felt overwheling saddness…And wondering if I was meant to be a mom. Long story short, I tried in vain to get pregnant with my daughter…18 months went by before I finally was able to have her at 31. I could not imagine a greater love than her! When she was about 3, I started to think I did not want her as an only child (I have 5 brothers and sisters and I love my family!) so one time and BAM here comes our son. My pregnancy with my son was miserable…Sickness, carpel tunnel on my arms, painful sciatic nerve and my son resided on my bladder the entire time. In labor, I almost lost him and my husband almost lost me….When I held him after his birth I was so happy and elated to have him and that was my moment….I knew this was the end of the road for me. Two weeks later my husband took the call from the dr confirming his consultation for his vasectomy appointment. It was his turn to be uncomfortable.. :)

michelle 3 years ago

IMHO… I think having a sibling is a a great reason for another baby… maybe it should not be your only reason especially if you or your husband really don’t want another child… but I can’t imagine what my life would be like without my siblings, niece, nephew and all that goes with it…that being said I respect that you are the mamma and you obviously know your family best :)

Mandee 3 years ago

I didn’t get to choose beyond two. Hysterectomy at 24 decided for me.
Two hands… two children. I am a single mom now so that works for me :-)

Jen @ Mommy Tries 3 years ago

Yep, 2–our number is 2. We have a boy and a girl, and as the delivery nurse told us right before the birth of our son, “you can keep having more, but you’re not going to wind up with anything different.”

Natasha 3 years ago


Kristin 3 years ago

Three for me too! We were talking about being good with 2, then I got pregnant again. I have three boys, 18 and 22 months apart (only 2 months shy of 3 under 3). If we had lots of family around to help (we have none), or my hubby didn’t work so hard (12-15hr. days), or we were rich, my answer might change. But with life the way it is now, I’m done. Always remember, that lovely baby stage doesn’t last long and then you’ve got a cranky toddler on your hands with all those other lovely moods to go through!

Liz 3 years ago

My baby is only 8 mos old and I FOR SURE want another one. I have no clue what my number is yet, but hopefully no more than 3. ha!

Beth 3 years ago

It had better be a LOOOONG time till I am one, but I see how much my mom loves it and it makes me look forward to it!

Jenny 3 years ago

I THINK my magic number is two. I am an only child and have always known that if I was to have kids, I would have two (god willing). I don’t ever want my child(ren) to have to go through losing a parent alone. Fortunately for me I haven’t had the experience yet, and I hope it’s not for a REALLY long time. That being said, I often wonder what the hell I was thinking having two! Yikes. But at the end of the day, I wouldn’t change a thing. My daughter is 3 and a spitting image of me (holy hell teenage years…) and my son will be 1 next week. They LOVE each other and are so different. It’s fantastic. If I had a third, would I have to have a fourth?!

Beth 3 years ago

Agreed. It is hard process, at least for the one I witnessed but he is special needs and coming from foster care.

Jessica Cobb (@DomesticPirate) 3 years ago

I have been seriously stressing about this!! We’re currently expecting our 4th and both of us feel like it will be our last, but I’m terrified that if we take the leap of permanent prevention I’ll change my mind 2-3 years down the road. After #3 was born I was 90% sure I didn’t want any more kids (I also had PPD and was taking hormonal birth control). Eventually we got things leveled back out and I started wanting another baby, but I just worry that in a moment of “I’m sure” we’ll make a drastic change that I’ll end up regretting it.

Beth 3 years ago

Adoption 😉 I think that’s the only way. I kind of want to adopt a 17 year old….

Adele 3 years ago

I always planned on 2 being my number. We already had a boy and when we got pregnant for number 2 we agreed that no matter what, even if we had another boy, that was it. But… secretly, if #2 had been a boy I would have always wished for a 3rd just so I could have that daughter I new I would always want. Thankfully though #2 ended up being a girl and I got my tubes tied the minute she came out :) I don’t regret closing the oven at all and I’m gleefully (almost too gleefully) tossing the baby stuff as #2 outgrows it :)

Beth 3 years ago


Beth 3 years ago

One. I think. I wish I knew because I am not getting any younger (OK, I’ll be 30 in one week, but that is a daunting number though I have no real qualms about it). I worry about the money needed. We are still renting (thinking about buying this year), I am still paying back student loans, daycare is over half my husband’s salary. I adore my son, and even 19 months out, I still can’t fathom loving another as much as I love him. I guess only time will tell, but for now I think one is my number.

Paula 3 years ago

We originally wanted 4. Then I got pregnant very soon after our wedding (we weren’t preventing) and didn’t enjoy being pregnant (I felt like an irrational, angry version of myself and I always gain over 40 lbs). We thought we might stick with 1. Then I got pregnant again when she was 8 mos old (preventing, but weren’t careful enough). So we were 24 and I was in grad school with two kids 17 mos apart. We weren’t ruling out a third but I didn’t want to have a third anytime soon IF we did. Instead I got pregnant again (used condoms EVERY time) when #2 was 15 mos old. I actually had the same due date with babies 2 and 3. They’re 6 days short of being exactly 2 years apart. We had 3 girls in less than 3.5 years. With our history, not deciding yet was as good as deciding to have a 4th. So DH had a vasectomy when #3 was 4 weeks old. I’ve never had baby fever. I get the occasional twinge of “what if?” but I know we made the right decision. We had 2 kids in diapers for 3.5 years, with a 6 month span with all 3 in diapers. We’ve had all 3 in carseats at once and had 2 cribs, 2 high chairs, etc. Right now they’re 6, 4, and 2. We’re reaching the point where it’s not a huge undertaking to go somewhere with all 3 and I can just stick the wipes and one diaper in my purse rather than take the whole diaper bag. I wouldn’t want to go back to infant seats, bottles, cribs, high chairs, and all that now. 3 is a good number.

Kristina 3 years ago

Ive only convinced my husband to have two so far. We had to do IVF to have the first and we have 6 frozen embryos! I loved being pregnant (hated trying to lose baby weight though!). We are going for #2 in September/October. Baby #1 will be almost 2 at that point. I really do want to use all the embryos though! Dont think I can convince the hubs to have any more than 2. I have always known my number is 3 though. Whats funny is why does he even care??? My mother and I do all the work anyway! lol

Tiffers 3 years ago

Mine was three…two boys and a girl…but then it turned into four.As I discovered I was almost three months along. So now it’s def…I’m friggin done :)

Amanda 3 years ago

I’m still not sure about my number. Before I had any, my ex and I wanted 4. Then we had #1, after the rough delivery and shock to our finances we decided we were good with one. But then when he was 5 and my IUD was up we knew we wanted more. Four miscarriages later our marriage was in shambles. Now we’ve been divorced for nearly 2 years, #1 is 9 years old and while I absolutely love babies the idea of starting over is daunting. My bf has one, a 2 year old, and honestly I think I had forgotten how much work they are! Sometimes I tease him about me wanting a bunch more but truthfully I may be good with my one. Or I may adopt a child a little closer to my son’s age, like a 5 or 6 year old little girl. We’ll see.

Beth 3 years ago

One is it for me. I had too many complications from my DD to ever want to go into labor again. I think about adoption on occasion, but for now one is all I need.

Andrea 3 years ago

I always wanted 5 since as long as I could remember. DH wanted 4. His reasoning? That way everyone has someone to sit with on rides at Disneyland-whatever. After our 4th was born I just felt in my heart that we weren’t done. Since DH wasn’t ready to go get sniped we took the “if a 5th is in the cards before I turn 40 then so be it- because you know with 4 kids what are the chances of even HAVING sex let alone all the stars lining up?” Yep 5 was our number :) after 2 girls & 2 boys we call her “the tie breaker” born shortly after my 39th birthday & we couldn’t imagine our family without her.

Jasmine Kyle 3 years ago

My Number is 2 I can’t physically handle getting SO fat again! thanks toxemia!!!

Kim 3 years ago

swore up and down after 2 boys i was done. a 3rd was literally a fleeing moment, in and out thought. then, something hit me in august and i couldn’t get the thought of a 3rd out of my head. my 3rd is due in july :) you’re final # is not always your final #.

Erika 3 years ago

Boy #4 is due in a few weeks, and I’m thinking that will be it for us. As much as I’d love to have a girl (and my DH still would like to keep the door open for a few years to be sure), I think that 4 is the right number for our family. Four arms between me and DH, the boys can play games 2 vs. 2. And, at this point, I know how to do boys. Even early with this one, when we were still hoping for a girl, I was a little nervous – what was I going to do with a girl, how would it be different? I guess I’m just a boy-mom now :)

Susan 3 years ago

I thought I’d only have one, not really by choice. I had my tubes tied at 30 and was ok with that – always thought I’d have more but I wanted the boyfriend more than I wanted more kids – STUPID ME! Finally dumped his ass. Years later met hubby. Had my tubes untied and after 2 years, finally had a baby boy! We’ve had so much fun with him! 7 months later… I’m pregnant again! I’m pretty sure he’ll be the last – I’m 41.

Jennifer 3 years ago

I was never sure, so after #1 was born I just left things untended and told God I’d let him decide. I did get pregnant again, but had a horrible miscarriage with hemmorhage and almost died.

My OB said I could still try again, no permanent damage, just “one of those things”. But I heard the voice of reason LOUD and clear. In those moments of semi-consciousness in the ER, when I heard blips and blaps of words like “transfusion” and “crash cart” and “pulse ox” and other things I didn’t understand, one thought kept me focused — my daughter. I made bargains with God that day if he would just let me live, and not leave my daughter without her mother at the poor young age of 2.

After that experience, I was completely fine with just one healthy, happy baby girl. She’s 5 now, embarking on the big bad world of Kindergarten in the Fall, losing her baby teeth like it’s a race, and teaching me all about this crazy world we live in. Every day is a new adventure, and a new lesson.

People ask if we’re having another one and I simply smile and tell them one is just enough for us.

Kristy 3 years ago

My number is 2. Before kids and I think even after our first son was born I thought my number was 3 (my husband’s number, however, was 2.) When we were trying for #2 my husband had a major medical crisis, and the doctors told us we might not be able to get pregnant again, so we were both thrilled when I did get pregnant again. Now with 2 healthy and happy boys I know we’re done. There is still a part of me that would love to have a 3rd, but the practical argument is stronger to just keep it at 2. Our house is the perfect size for 4, and since my husband is from The Netherlands we do travel to Europe somewhat frequently. We’re already dreading the logistics of having 2 to travel with this fall, but at least we’re 2-2. I can’t imagine adding another child in to tip that balance.

tara 3 years ago

My number was ZERO. NONE. NOTT. well 6 yrs later my number is apparently now 4. One was planned, two was omfg what do u mean I’m pregnant (one was only 3 months old), three was umm what do u mean my iud is MISSING?!?!? and four was hmmm maybe this one will be a girl. No such luck. Four very busy boys later and I still find myself wondering … Is this it? Do I really stop at 4? And being almost divorced, would I ever find a man crazy enough to help raise 5 kids when 4 of them aren’t his lol. Maybe my number is 4, but maybe my number is 5 .. or 6. Maybe I miss the days when my number was ZERO!

Karen 3 years ago

Just one, she is perfect. Having only one keeps me from the confessional. : )

Robyn 3 years ago

I have 20 month old twins and a 5 yr old and I don’t feel like I’m done. It’s very hard to deal with. Hubby says we are done. I’ve always wanted 4 at least. This feeling isn’t going away.

Stacey 3 years ago

Our number is 7. When I went in for my ultrasound and found out that after three girls in a row and eight years, we were finally having another boy, I just knew. There have been moments of sadness and each milestone is bittersweet. But I am where you are. The thought of late night feedings and car seats and well, pregnancy, just make me need Prozac. So 7 is our lucky number. It has been freeing to be done.

April 3 years ago

I have those “what if” moments still. Still not sure if 3 is my number but I’m pretty sure!

Tracey c. 3 years ago

I have 2 (9 and 5) and every once in a while, I’d get that pang, wanting another…to cuddle, and snuggle, hear those cute little noises newborns make. Then I think how stressful it would be…BUT – the moment I KNEW, was when my SIL (whose kids are 10 and 8) announced she was expecting baby #3, and all I could think was “WHOO! SO glad it isn’t me!” They say always trust your gut reaction, so that’s what I’m going with, lol

Jamie 3 years ago

We just had our first 6 mths ago. We immediately talked of trying when he turns 1 for baby #2. But lately, I’m not sure I can do sleepless nights, teething, etc again & I’m not even done with that with my baby boy!! I think its exhaustion talking…

Amber 3 years ago

Mine is two. My husband’s is one. It’s a problem. Currently we just have the one…

Shannon 3 years ago

I had 2 children when I met my now husband, he also had 2. Then we had 1 together. And he still wanted another! I never imagined having 5 let alone 6! My youngest had colic, the older ones are teenagers who like to cause trouble, he is satisfied with 5 now. :-)

Amanda 3 years ago

I have 2 girls 6 & 8 …and am expecting a third, at first I wanted SO badly for this one to be a boy, now only a few weeks to finding out I know I will be or blue, just to hold my own little one in my arms. This pregnancy has been the toughest of all, so sick, so drained, so tired of it all…yet I find my crazy self thinking among all this torture..I would prob do it again….pretty sure I would do it again! Many of my friends and family expect I will be having my tubes tied after this one..but I’m just not ready…not just yet. So I’m unsure of my number!

Shanan 3 years ago

I don’t know about anyone else but the hardest part about coming to terms with ” closing the factory” is that I will never know what another baby of ours would look like. I have three girls and maybe that is why it is so hard to say we’re done but I love that anticipation of who the baby will look like, what kind of personality will he/she have. It is tough but I have made progress in closing that chapter of life, I think?

Angie 3 years ago

My number was two…but that turned to 3 and I was DONE! Then my life crumbled and my husband left me with 3 kids under the age of 5! 4 years later I met a wonderful man with 2 kids of his own and my number became 5!! We discussed making that number 6 but in one of those ‘late period’ moments, my husband understood from my reaction that 6 was a BAD idea. Once that scare was passed, we make a visit to the nice doctor with the snips. Needless to say, our number will always be 5!

sarah 3 years ago

I always knew I wanted lots of kids. We had 3 boys and yearned for a sweet baby girl. When we found out we were then having twin boys we decided it was a sign. The factory is closed. 5 (boys no less) is my wonderful number.

Kyda 3 years ago

I was just thinking about the daycare issue and wondered how many people with 3 or 4 kids work outside the home… being a stay at home mom isn’t in the cards right now for me so I can’t imagine having to pay for daycare for 2 kids when I can barely afford the daycare for the one!

brittany 3 years ago

I hear you! I have 3 boys and would so be done if one had been a girl but its hard to ignore that longing for a sweet baby girl….

Shannon 3 years ago

$1600 a month for daycare? For one child?! Holy that’s crazy!

Suzanne 3 years ago

My number is 3. I have always wanted 3. It was hard to convince my husband after 2, but I got my way and it’s perfect. I know now even more that I was only meant to have 3. We had a surprise, unplanned pregnancy a few months ago. I felt something was wrong the entire time, and couldn’t envision another baby in our house. I ended up having a miscarriage at the end of November. I thought maybe I’d want to try again, but the anxiety, stress and fear that I felt during that month I was pregnant made me realize I’m not meant to have another. I think of that lost baby often and wonder what he or she would have looked like and been like, but I know it wasn’t meant to be.

M 3 years ago

Oh how can I relate to all of you! I have heard that most times number 3 is the “surprise” baby. Lol! Hubby was also schedualed for a snip but 6 weeks out and failt Nuva ring and baby #3 was discovered :) We were blessed with a girl after 2 boys and I know that if we had planned her “she” would have most def. been a “he” :) Shit happens and sometimes the universe just knows better then you I suppose :)

Shannon 3 years ago

After my first child, I knew that I wanted at least one more. Then 6 years later when I had my 2nd child, and his dad said he definitely did not want anymore, I remember sitting in the hospital, holding my son, feeling so sad because I knew I wanted one more. That my number was 3. Well 6 years later, after separating from him, and meeting my now husband, I got my 3rd and final child. There was and hasn’t been a doubt in my mind that 3 was and is my number.. When you are done, you just know it.

Jackie 3 years ago

My number is one, but it would be six if my husband could get pregnant!

Debbie 3 years ago

Wow all I can add is that you know in your heart and mind when you are complete. i have 3 daughter and before the 3rd one was born I had set up to have my tubes tied the day after her birth. I knew we were complete.
It is a gut feeling and you know you are good!

Buffy 3 years ago

I have 4, but they are so close together in age. Only 5 years between #1 and #4. I feel like I was always so busy and exhausted that I missed out on enjoying a lot of it. Nursing, diapers, onesies, etc. were my constant companions for years nonstop. When I was in the delivery room about to have #4, I was literally nursing #3 until my OB came in to examine me and told me to let somebody else hold him, it was time to push. My youngest is 7 now, and we’re thinking of having #5. I think it would be a lot different now that I realize how quickly it really goes, where back then, I felt like it would never end sometimes. Plus, now I would have 4 built-in babysitters.

monsterinamom 3 years ago

I’m glad to read this. Still waiting on that moment myself. We have 3 kids – almost 2, 5 and 7½. And we are done because DH decided that we were and went to the Drs. Seems he saw dollar signs, stress and turmoil when he imagined #4 too. Now he keeps telling me how cute our 1 year old is and how he would have had more kids if all our kids were like that! I thought our first 2 were just as cute too! (Though our first was a crazy high need baby – not sure how we even ended up with a 2nd child after her!) I need to not be so horribly jealous of friends who have 4+ kids and probably not read the blogs from the the families with 6+ kids.

Lisa 3 years ago

I don’t know my number. We have two. A girl and a boy. One of each. Blessed in that way but I always thought 3. My hubby and I are a little older…him more than me so he’s pretty much settled on 2. I do have this weird longing for another lately but I don’t know if it’s just the nostalgia….never experiencing pregnancy again, the joy of birth, cute baby clothes, baby toys, high chairs, swings, etc. or if I really want another.

Andrea 3 years ago

I totally agree – my son will be 2 next month – and I have no desire to have another baby yet. I know that I want him to have a sibling, and that have always wanted 2 or 3, but right now, we are very happy with 1, and are not feeling that itch AT ALL!

Marie30 3 years ago

Number 5 did it in for us. I love all my kids dearly, but sometimes I really feel I should have stuck to dogs.

April 3 years ago

I think my number was 3 (as I sit her pregnant with #4). I have 3 boys and I had that Holy Bejesus moment when I saw the positive (was-sure-I-was-NOT) test. We just announced last week and I’m already to the point where if I hear “Oh maybe you’ll get a girl/here are some pink vibes/praying you’ll have a daughter!” any more I will have a hormonal outrage the likes of which no one has seen. 3 *was* my number…now 4? :/

H 3 years ago

Same here – hubby was 3 weeks away from getting snipped when we found out our third was on the way. I was having doubts about whether we should be done until that – then I knew 3 was it!

Jean 3 years ago

I always said 3, but I had a singleton & then a set of twins so I had my three. But despite my asking about having my tubes tied, my OB said “You’re too young & I don’t think you’re done having children yet” We were then blessed with another set of twins four years later! So my 3 turned out to be 5 and I can’t imagine life without them all!

Kyda 3 years ago

that’s exactly where I’m at!! I never really thought I’d have more than 1 but my almost 3 year old really seems to need a sibling although I think that’s a bad reason for having a baby…

Desiree 3 years ago

I was pretty sure I only wanted one but then when my first baby was 2 1/2 months old I got pregnant again. Then after i had the second baby I was pretty sure I was done. Right now I have 2 girls the first is 19 months old and the other one if 7 months old. They are 5 days away from being a year apart from each other. Well as im packing up clothes that dont fit my youngest I have the same oh my gosh look how small and cute this is. This is the last time ill see it. And then the dreaded I have to smell it and it smells so sweet as a newborn should. It makes me sad I wont have another so im not there yet believe it or not with the 2 i have but 1 day i hope to get there because I DONT NEED another lol

Kat 3 years ago

Stephanie, you may want to consider adoption or foster kids. There are many young children out there who desperately need a loving home.

Jaytee 3 years ago

before i had my son, my number was 2, maybe 3. even after he was born, i was ready to start trying for baby #2 at his first birthday. until his first birthday came around: i told my husband and his sperm to stay away from me. then i said – second birthday is when i’ll be ready! nope. at his third birthday, i finally realized i’m really happy with the size of my family. and i’m really lucky because my husband agreed.

Maura 3 years ago

After paying $1600/month for daycare for child #1, I’m left to wonder how anyone in this area can afford more than one child. True, I’d like my son to have a sibling, but I don’t know if I can go through all the aforementioned crap again (sleepless nights, etc.). I just hope my son doesn’t get too lonely.

Emily 3 years ago

I looked at my husband seconds after delivering our daughter and said “that wasn’t so hard. I could do that again.”

He almost had a heart attack that very second. For him in a perfect world where Money didn’t matter he says two, and it’s taken me two years to get him to admit to that. I always thought four was my magic number, until I opened my dayhome and discovered I can easily deal with three kids but that forth… Pushes me over the edge with everything.

It’s looking like one will be our number for a long time. It hurts. But one day it’ll happen. If I’m lucky.

Debra 3 years ago

Our number was 3. We have FIVE. …number 3 came as a set of triplets. Kind of a buy one get two free deal. I swear it came from my wishing, “I just want three… please give me three.” I guess it’s not “be careful what you wish for” as much as be careful HOW you wish for it.

Monica 3 years ago

My current number is two. I think it is my number.

Last year I missed my period for 2 months because of a cyst. I internally knew I wasn’t pregnant but had a pregnancy test anyway… The idea of another baby was great but the relief of the negative test was even greater.

I wouldn’t mind another baby… or even another toddler… but another kid, paying another school (public education is an unthinkable idea for me in my country)…

Stephie 3 years ago

Thought 3 was perfect #, but dh thought 4… Then surprise #5 came- who is AMAZING!- which was enough, but then, thanks Loestrin!- #6 is due next month. So… 6 is THE #. And dh will make sure with a snip, b/c 7 is NOT a good # for monmy’s sanity.

Kristin @ What She Said 3 years ago

My number is one. One and done. And it was quite an emotional journey to get to that point, too – one fraught with a lot of self-doubt and second-guessing and rude and presumptuous comments from friends, family, and strangers a like. But in the end, I had my reasons and my husband had his and we both realized we felt perfectly fulfilled by our little family of three. Although I do sometimes ache for the little boy I know I’ll never have and all the awesome baby names I’ll never get to use.

Christina 3 years ago

Two, and we have two, and will never have more. I don’t even like these two.

Lesa 3 years ago

I said one or four. I have one not because I was able to make that choice on my own but because of a terrible birth with my beautiful daughter resulting in a hysterectomy. I guess my number is ever changing though I have my daughter & I’ve had a string of other people’s children to help raise over the last 18 years, I currently have to extra teen girls. But I want another baby everyone one around me is having them & it just sucks sometimes.

Pam 3 years ago

I absolutely knew that 3 was my number. A few months after my 3rd, I had my husband go get fixed. As much over the last 3 years that I had a twinge of baby fever, I am so glad I made the decision to finalize it. I know that having another child would be tough on everyone. As much as children are a blessing, I know I can’t afford it. I’d have to get a new car, and quit my job. Not happening! Bring on the nieces and nephews!

Alicia 3 years ago

Four is my number, although for almost 8 years I was SURE my number was two (then I met my 2nd hubby & realized I didn’t want to be done, after all). Have experienced young, single-motherhood (preggers 1st time at 24) & “middle-aged” married motherhood (4th time at 39). No regrets.

Colleen Brown 3 years ago

Well my number is 5, it was 3, OOPPSS, then 4, then another OOPPSS!! So it is officially 5! I came to the realization yesterday (as a matter of fact) these are the last few months I will grace an elementary school with one of MY children, and I am OK with this! Bring on the grandchildren in their OWN homes!!! Somebody earlier commented about potty training, I had completely forgotten about those horrible days and nights!! Yep that’s enough to remind me that 5 is my number!!!

Mary 3 years ago

We had two boys in our twenties, but the number in my head was always 3. When the boys were 9 and 12, and I was 38, I had my girl. It was a big surprise, but I am so happy she came to us. And to let you all know, they still fight, even with that big of age difference. But the bonus is, you have built-in baby sitters after a few years.

zinkemom 3 years ago

We knew we were only going to have one. We found out at 11 weeks that we were expecting twins. We scheduled my tubal at my very next prenatal appointment.

Nancy 3 years ago

My boyfriend have 4 big kids between 25 and 31…I have 3 …9 6 and 5 we just have a beautiful little girl 4 months old boy friend just decide its enough and been fixed. He broke my heart. I was hoping for a last one…but I consider myself lucky to had 4…sorry for my poor English, I am francophone…

Ashley 3 years ago

Two years of trying, fertility treatments, easy pregnancy & delivery… blessed with twin boys. Yeah, I am done! I hate when people ask if we are thinking about a third. Seriously?

Amanda 3 years ago

I always wanted lots (3-4) of kids, but it took me 7 years to get pregnant with #1. I never thought I’d be able to even have a #2. When my son was 3 months old we got the surprise of a lifetime! They are less than a year apart, and I have, up until very recently (like within the last 2 weeks) been completely satisfied with 2 and I thought hubby was on the same page. Then one night he said something about having another. I told him he was CRAZY. I haven’t stopped thinking about having #3 since…BUT I would say our number is 2.

Holly 3 years ago

Honestly I don’t know my number for sure. I was sold at 3 with how tiresome my last pregnancy was but with three boys I have dreams of little pink dresses and pretty bows. So I am getting an IUD today actually and we’re going to wait until my husband is 30 to even think about another.

Kat 3 years ago

I have 4. My factory is closed :)

Ally 3 years ago

Have 2 (3 and 15 months) and am preggo with #3…before this pregnancy I was on the fence about 3 or 4…now I am sitting more on the 3 side…the thought of my body finally being my own again(!) and not hoarding every vacation hour so I can have some sort of paid maternity leave sounds so wonderful. When my Dr mentioned tying my tubes if I have to have another c-section I didn’t automatically say no…a lot to think about in the next 6 months before #3 arrives. But that lingering thought of what if…No 3 sounds good…today anyway!

Beth M 3 years ago

Speaking from a strictly practical perspective, my number is 1. I am a single Mom, creeping up up the ladder of time (which is typically blaring it’s alarm in my head). Many stars would have to align in order for me to have another child. However, as a newborn photographer, I see approximately 8-10 day-old babies per week. It is very difficult not to feel that yearn for another. I would love it. But, I am not so sure its in the cards. And that’s okay too.

liz clark 3 years ago

forgot to mention our kids are 15 , 12 1/2, 9, and 4.

Cassy 3 years ago

When I had 3 I thought I’d want another… someday. When I found out that I was pregnant with number 4 I had that moment you had all I can see are dollar signs and work and stress and its lasted 9 months now. This baby will be here in a few days and I just hope I’ll feel differently when I hold her in my arms but I worry. I think my number was 3.

liz clark 3 years ago

4! We have four, two boys and two girls and I am very happy to say I am DONE! As crazy busy as it is to have a baby, our life is crazy busy now, too! I can’t imagine having anymore. We are so lucky to have healthy, happy, growing kids and I would change a thing!

Suzanne 3 years ago

I have 4 boys: 2 from my first husband, 2 from my second. When I had my first boy, I knew I wanted to try for a girl. My husband just wanted 1 child so we went back and forth until he agreed. I swore number 2 was a girl, no matter what the ultrasound said, but once he was here, we said, yep, that’s it.

#3 & #4 were accidents, happy accidents, but definitely accidents. And even though I still didn’t have a girl, we decided, yep, that’s enough, and my husband had a vasectomy. And every time I see a sweet little baby and coo at it and play with its little toes, I’m so thankful I can hand that baby back to its mommy, and I can go home and have a glass of wine!

KAnn G 3 years ago

3…but I ended up with 5.

I was quite content with 2 boys & 1 girl. I knew I was done & took measures to ensure that. Then I fell in love with a man with twins 3 months older than my youngest child. So, we got martied & together we are raising 5…and we are positive we don’t want an “ours” baby. In fact, we just want to find out what it would be like to live together alone, with no kids running around all the time.

Jennifer 3 years ago

My number is one. After being ambivalent about having children, and my husband always saying he wanted two kids, we agreed to “start with one and see how it goes”. After a rough/scary pregnancy and the first few months of sleepless, worrying, WTF-this-is-HARD!! “reality” for Daddy, he looked at me late one night as we tried to soothe our screaming son and said “you know what, I’m good with one kid”. And almost 5 years later, we’re still good with one.

Rana 3 years ago

When I had my first, I wanted her to have a sibling so bad! Then I met and married my best friend who had two daughters. Three was a good number, I was beyond happy with three. Then the good Lord decided that yep, four daughters sounded good. So four…four is DEFINITELY my number!

Natasha 3 years ago

I always thought 2 was the number until I had number 2, then 3 became the number. I wanted a 3rd badly until my second reached about 1 and things became so so so much easier. Then when she potty trained at 2 that door SLAMMED shut. No way am I starting back over again!

Faith 3 years ago

I recently did a blog post on this very subject because it ALWAYS comes up no matter how many kids you have! The name of the post was How Many African Goats Do We Need? My coming to Jesus moment hit me like a tons of weirdness.
All I ever wanted or saw myself with was one sweet little boy, and I got him! After 3 wild daughters!

MamaBennie 3 years ago

I am pregnant with three now. Three is it. We are finally having a boy. We will be making that shit permanent, and posting the out of business signs.

Patti T 3 years ago

I have two kids. One of each, they are 9 & 6. I have had an IUD (and now a second) for 6 years now. I am pretty sure another baby at this time, for me, would be INSANE. The likelihood if me actually having another baby, very unlikely. But I am still keeping my options open, no permanent closure of the baby factory.

Denise Krieger 3 years ago

I have had many #’s. At first I was thinking 3, and we had one child and multiple miscarriages over the course of several years. We decided that 1 was probably the best, since DS is healthy, smart, fun and a great kid. Then we had our “oops” baby. I have 2 but I still think our real, true # is 1 😉 b/c DD is a handful and a half. LOL

Jen O 3 years ago

Two. I knew I didn’t want just one but two is all I can handle mentally, physically (I had high blood pressure with both pregnancies) and financially. I was never a “baby” person – I enjoy children when they are more interactive – so I do not miss the diapers, the middle-of-the-night feedings, etc. I am totally happy with my two. If I add anything to the family, it will be more pets.

Cindy 3 years ago

It doesn’t take long until your start dreaming of being a grandma…longing to hold a baby that is still somehow strangely yours to love on, but send home when you want time to yourself! Ah, those will be the days. :)

I have two. I think my number should have been one, but I wouldn’t give up either of them for anything in the world.

Tonja Bell 3 years ago

I totally get that! And I have four! I still miss the baby things. Luckily my husband doesn’t. I know five is crazy so I’m just waiting on my eggs to dry up 😉

Lynn @NomadMomDiary 3 years ago

I was convinced that our magic number was 3, right up until #2 decided to wait 16 months before sleeping through the night. By then I was so damn tired I was ready to tie my own tubes at home using a bottle of wine for anesthesia. Now can someone please tell me how to help my husband have his own “coming to jesus moment”? He still thinks that we might some day have that third kid…meanwhile I am sneaking all of the baby stuff out the back door.

Stephanie 3 years ago

I *think* my number is three. I could be persuaded into four, maybe, in a few years, if the child is dropped off on the steps by a stork. I’d love to have another around (at some point), but I have no desire to carry another baby.

c 3 years ago

Haha, mine was two also… I have three ! :) I guess I’m finding out my number was three, I just didn’t know it.

Becky 3 years ago

I have one child at the moment, and I love him more than anything…BUT he is a handful. Like, more work and energy than I ever could have anticipated when he was born. Prior to his birth and well up until he was 18 months or so, I said 4 (maybe even 5…). Then he got a little wild, and I said “Yeah, definitely just 4.” Now I say 3. Some days I even get really fed up and say “If the next one is as crazy as this one, ONLY TWO!” So I’m not sure what my number really is, but I honestly think it’s probably 3. That sounds right to my husband and I. I loved this post, thank you for sharing it!

Rebeccah 3 years ago

I always said one. I have two (and a tubal). But I’d kinda like three, but only if the third arrived as a walking, talking, potty-trained four year old. :-)

Kay 3 years ago

My number is 2! I came to realize this when we started potty training last week. I do not want to do this all over again.

Ladydeelg 3 years ago

I still can’t make up my mind, I am at ONE and he’s alot of work, but i cannot say that 1 is my number… to be determined!

sara 3 years ago

two. and that will never change.

Tracie 3 years ago

I’m pretty sure it is 1. Especially since my daughter is nine, starting over with a new baby feels like But there are days when I dream of 2.

Jenelle 3 years ago

We’ve always said we want 3. But after #1 was SUCH a ball of energy…I really thought I may never be ready for another. But eventually he calmed down a little, and we added another. Now I’m chomping at the bit to get #3 on the way so I can eventually not be plagued by littles at every second. Do I think we’ll be complete at 3? I sure hope so…but only time will tell. That’s why I’m glad to be an Auntie too I guess – push my sisters to have more so I can stop! :)

Alison 3 years ago

While I was pregnant with #2, I was sure he would be the last one.
When he was born, I was super positive, yes, last one. Because dear lord, I was tired and the toddler was acting up.
Now that he’s 9 months old, and we have things down pat, and I see little girl’s dresses (I have 2 boys), I’m like, oh gosh, I wonder what it’d be like to have a little girl, or oh my, have THREE boys.
And it doesn’t help that my husband keeps reminding me to enjoy #2’s baby days because he’s growing up so quickly. He also asked me if I was sure we’re stopping at 2.
So, long story short, 2.
Maybe 3.
No, 2.
(yup, keep telling myself that)

Myndee 3 years ago

Two, but I have three. :)

Sara 3 years ago

I’m still trying to figure out my number. I have one 2 year old and I have yet to feel any of that baby fever sweep over me. I’m pretty sure I want 2 kids, but until I get that strong urge to take the plunge and go for 2, 1 will do for now! I love having quality time with my son, but I want him to have a sibling. So time will tell!

Sarah 3 years ago

I always wondered during my second pregancy, “Will two be enough?” because after our first daughter was born I just knew one wasn’t enough, and was so relieved my husband agreed (after a while anyway).
But the moment I held our second daughter, I started crying and said “Yep, that’s it. We’re complete” I felt so strongly that our family was what it should be that I haven’t doubted it since. I have doubts about everything else I do as a parent, but not about that, not anymore. Love my girls, don’t need another one!

Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes 3 years ago

I always said I wanted three kids, but that was before I actually had kids.
When n°1 was about 8 months I proposed to my husband to stop at one, since I was so tired. A week later I found out I was pregnant.
Two girls is all I can handle for now. Maybe I will think otherwise next year, I don’t know. But for now two is enough.