10 Ways Having a Toddler is Like Living in Poltergeist


10. Items reappear out of place mere seconds after you’ve put them away.

9. In the dark, you sense an unwelcome presence in your room.

8. You frequently resist the urge to run screaming from your own home.

7. You’re never really alone.

6. You can’t escape the voices calling your name.

5. You could have sworn you just turned that light off.

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4. The TV has more power over your child than you do.

3. You’re often terrified by what you find under the bed.

2. A very small person keeps telling you what to do, and strangely, you keep listening.

1. You know that the only way you’ll get any peace is a hotel room clear across town.

Related post: 50 Reasons Your Toddler Might Be Awake Right Now

About the writer

Brenna’s been writing about her adventures in accidental parenthood since 2007 at her blog, Suburban Snapshots. She’s currently in charge of one 4-year-old, three dogs, and knowing the precise location of her husband’s hat at all times.


Loraine 8 months ago

Hahaha hilarious!!!!
Imagine me, with my twin boys of 2 :-O

Steph Mewha 11 months ago


Michael Casey 11 months ago


Elizabeth Johnson 11 months ago

Hit the nail on the head! Oh and then comes new baby

Kristen Chambers 11 months ago

Hahaha yep!!!

Christina Hitchen 11 months ago

Love that movie

Stephanie McMillen 11 months ago

sound also a lot like having a tween girl in the house. really the part about running away screaming from the house….sounds about right.

Patty Mckinnon 11 months ago

So very true

Claire McLellan 11 months ago

Yes to all

Jessica Smith Rybarik 11 months ago

Love this. Hilarious!

Jennifer Miraglia D’Aleo 11 months ago

Lmao, this applies to the prek age too!!!

Michelle Hall 11 months ago

Lol Im still recovering from watching this movie like 15 years ago !

Amy Wise 11 months ago

Love it amen

Angela Roster 11 months ago

And my toddler likes to peel my face off to wake me up, like that scene in Poltergeist.

Jenny Maricela Blaszczyk 11 months ago
Marian Purcell 11 months ago

That’s so funny! And true – especially the “under the bed” part.

Karine Ringrose 11 months ago

hahahaha sooooooo true!!!!

Tracy Pierceall 11 months ago


Kristy Engel 11 months ago

True story.

Nancy Echavarria Evans 11 months ago

Haha!! True

D 11 months ago

The best one is when that ‘unwelcome presence’ is detected during Mommy & Daddy time. Totally happened a few times. “Yay! They’re all asleep!” Ten minutes later, “AaaaaaH!” And Mommy almost ends up on the floor, we both jumped so far! Several times with ds3. He was too young to know what was going on when he walked in, but old enough to think it was hilarious that he’s managed to scare us! After that, I SWEAR he’d come in as quietly as possible just to see if he could scare us. Usually, he’d come to my side and just stand there and stare at me. I woke up to little eyes peeking quizzically over the edge of the mattress RIGHT NEXT TO MY HEAD like, “Why aren’t you awake yet?” Sometimes he’d do it to his dad and not only would I get startled out of a sound sleep, I’d have 175lbs of husband flying at me, lol!

Ellie Humphris 11 months ago

This also applies to 6 year olds!

Katherine Dawn Margaret 11 months ago


Shawnda Millhoff Akers 11 months ago

All true

L.A. Say 2 years ago

This is very true when it comes to alot of things disappearing and reappearing

desktops 3 years ago

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Gina T 3 years ago

The other day, I turned my back for a second and when I looked back into my kitchen, all the drawers were wide open. I thought—OMG—Just like the movie Poltergeist!
Nope! Just a 16 month old baby boy!
Thoroughly enjoyed this post!

Megs 3 years ago

Oh this is soo true! I have a 4 year old daughter! She has Type 1 Diabetes so unfortunately I generally do not go anywhere without her unless she says home with her dad (Talk about a rare occasion!!!)
But I am never alone and many times I have wanted to just leave my house and run far, far away!!!

Mercy 3 years ago

Don’t forget having something climb over you in the night, bringing with it a stench that could only have come from a garbage dump. Yeah, that would be my 2 year old getting into my bed in the night after she has gone doo-doo in her sleep. Ewww.

Jeni Kramer 3 years ago

Ha ha, love this! Every day is more terrifying than the last…

Alexis 3 years ago

When you say “a small person keeps telling you what to do” are you referring to the child calling from the light or the creepy old child-voiced lady. I’m an adult now and SILL have nightmares about her. If my husband brought some creepy old child-voiced lady into my house I would forbid him from shopping on Craigslist ever again and go hire those Ghost Hunter dudes. When the poltergeist has your kid, its no time to go discount!

MILF Runner 3 years ago

Living the nightmare. I mean, dream.

Stephanie Heather 3 years ago

Seriously frightening…because it’s so true!

Jessica Smock 3 years ago

So true! So true! That picture reminds me of how toddlers can just suck the life force right out of you. Some mornings I wake up in a great mood: it’s a sunny day, there are lots of fun things to do, etc., etc. And within ten minutes of my toddler whining, throwing tantrums, refusing to eat, and trying to climb up onto every available surface, I’m about to lose it.

    Mary 3 years ago

    OMG…that’s exactly how I feel…and it’s like Groundhog Day every freaking day!! I just keep telling myself that this WILL end…it just HAS to!!!

Tanya 3 years ago

So funny! It is so true too. I love it.

diana.padilla 3 years ago

all kidding aside – I was JUST saying this same thing to hubby last night. seriously. look I am still afraid of the dark. and now, at walking age, my tot has helped me overcome the fear. I was telling hubby: yea, u know how I always get scared that the door may open and someone comes in in the middle of the night….well, thanks to tot#2, no more! cause she comes in EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

murphy must have had kids 3 years ago

So true, so true. My toddler won’t let me take away a ratty old toothbrush she carries around. I don’t want to know where it has been.

Myndee 3 years ago

Bwahahahahaha. Its funny because its true.

Nuts about food 3 years ago

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post. Hahahahahaha!

Keesha 3 years ago

Every single one is the God’s honest. Especially the TV – when you take it away, they go mad!

Melissa 3 years ago

Amen sister….amen.

Danielle 3 years ago

Hahahaha, Lets not forget the mysterious bad smells without warning.

Megan 3 years ago

so true! I have 2 toddlers and they are crazy… They never shut up. Sometimes I wish I could get a day away. I need more adult friends and a nanny.

Woodsprite 3 years ago

Oh my , tears of laughter , we have a smallish trailer 1 bedroom , 1 grand porta crib at the end of our bed . You get the night time picture .me blissfully sleeping , a restless sleeper and BAM the little one pops up !!!!!! Gets me every time ….but ya know would not change a minute of the joy of toddlerhood.

Life with Kaishon 3 years ago

I want one.
A little terror.
: )

Paula H 3 years ago

I love it! It’s so true.

Nicole(Whole Strides) 3 years ago

Oh heavens yes. My kids are a little bit older now, so it’s fortunately let up a bit. I can still rarely use the bathroom without interruption, unfortunately.

My Half Assed Life 3 years ago

This is pretty much exactly like it was. I’m so glad to not be in those days anymore.

A lot of these are still true with teens and young adults. Sorry.

    Mom22Tweens 3 years ago

    LOL, I was just going to say this still applies to life with my tweens!


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