Having a Toddler is Like Living in Poltergeist



10. Items reappear out of place mere seconds after you’ve put them away.

9. In the dark, you sense an unwelcome presence in your room.

8. You frequently resist the urge to run screaming from your own home.

7. You’re never really alone.

6. You can’t escape the voices calling your name.

5. You could have sworn you just turned that light off.

4. The TV has more power over your child than you do.

3. You’re often terrified by what you find under the bed.

2. A very small person keeps telling you what to do, and strangely, you keep listening.

1. You know that the only way you’ll get any peace is a hotel room clear across town.


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  1. 1

    My Half Assed Life says

    This is pretty much exactly like it was. I’m so glad to not be in those days anymore.

    A lot of these are still true with teens and young adults. Sorry.

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  2. 3

    Nicole(Whole Strides) says

    Oh heavens yes. My kids are a little bit older now, so it’s fortunately let up a bit. I can still rarely use the bathroom without interruption, unfortunately.

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  3. 6

    Woodsprite says

    Oh my , tears of laughter , we have a smallish trailer 1 bedroom , 1 grand porta crib at the end of our bed . You get the night time picture .me blissfully sleeping , a restless sleeper and BAM the little one pops up !!!!!! Gets me every time ….but ya know would not change a minute of the joy of toddlerhood.

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  4. 14

    diana.padilla says

    all kidding aside – I was JUST saying this same thing to hubby last night. seriously. look I am still afraid of the dark. and now, at walking age, my tot has helped me overcome the fear. I was telling hubby: yea, u know how I always get scared that the door may open and someone comes in in the middle of the night….well, thanks to tot#2, no more! cause she comes in EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

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  5. 16

    Jessica Smock says

    So true! So true! That picture reminds me of how toddlers can just suck the life force right out of you. Some mornings I wake up in a great mood: it’s a sunny day, there are lots of fun things to do, etc., etc. And within ten minutes of my toddler whining, throwing tantrums, refusing to eat, and trying to climb up onto every available surface, I’m about to lose it.

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  6. 20

    Alexis says

    When you say “a small person keeps telling you what to do” are you referring to the child calling from the light or the creepy old child-voiced lady. I’m an adult now and SILL have nightmares about her. If my husband brought some creepy old child-voiced lady into my house I would forbid him from shopping on Craigslist ever again and go hire those Ghost Hunter dudes. When the poltergeist has your kid, its no time to go discount!

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  7. 22

    Mercy says

    Don’t forget having something climb over you in the night, bringing with it a stench that could only have come from a garbage dump. Yeah, that would be my 2 year old getting into my bed in the night after she has gone doo-doo in her sleep. Ewww.

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