Jessica Watson
Latest posts by Jessica Watson (see all)
- The Perks to Having an Autistic Teen - January 20, 2012
- Her Place - May 24, 2011
Pushing up glasses heavy on his face, rocking from side to side a bit, his voice boomed above the muffled conversation of others in line.
My heart beat a little faster as I watched the exchange.
Would the cashier be polite?
Were the other customers beginning to stare?
Could he count out his money? Wait for change? Balance his drink and popcorn without spilling one or both?
I beamed with pride as he navigated the intricacies of his task.
But most of all? I thought of his mother.
Was she sitting next to an empty seat waiting for his return?
Was she at home, holding her breath until he walked in the door?
I wanted to find her, tell her what I saw.
Tell her he did it. They did it.
Her son used skills he was so carefully taught and society held his hand.
The cashier counted out his dollar bills and onlookers shifted to make room for his tilting tray. Someone picked up his change as it escaped his grasp, he muttered a thank you and continued on his way.
A million obstacles were conquered with his every step and no one noticed but me.
I think about this young man often.
My daughter has autism as well and, little by little, I am learning that I have to let her navigate this world on her own. I want her to be strong and independent and able to juggle change and popcorn and an overflowing pop.
I want her to be able to do whatever she wants to do in life, even though sometimes I still have to tie her shoes.
The only way she can succeed is if I let her try, give her to the world in small doses and hope that there is a place in line for her too.
{ 83 comments… read them below or add one }
Great post Jessica. My daughters don’t have autism but know how you feel. I want them to be strong and independent but it’s hard to let them do things themselves. However, the only way they will ever learn is if we teach them what to do and give them space to do so.
Jessica recently posted..Potty training blues
I know, if we could keep them in a bubble and make sure everything goes smoothly I think I might do it but that’s totally not realistic!
You put your feelings so nice into words. I think all parents feel in the same in a certain way, every child is unique, is good in some things and concerning others things we feel for them. Probably even a long time after they can stand on their own two feet.
Mommy’s Paradise recently posted..The frenzy
I think so too, it is hard to watch my young children venture out as they gain independence too. They will all be okay, right?
Jessica recently posted..I’m Scary!
Oh I love this and you. It must be hard to let her go versus catch her overflowing popcorn for her.
Let her know, that I still spill mine more often than not.
xoxo
Tracy
tracy recently posted..I Heart Faces – Yellow
Me too, she is extremely clumsy and I would love to blame it on the autism but I think it’s in the genes.
Jessica recently posted..I’m Scary!
Great post Jessica. Your daughter is going to be great with all the help and support you are giving her.
Penbleth recently posted..It’s like post-Rapture- but with the threat of interrupted sleep
Thanks so much, for visiting me here and for your support and kind words.
Jessica recently posted..I’m Scary!
Ashlyn will do wonderfully as you have given her so many gifts over the years.
Klz recently posted..Milestones- Letters for Lucas
Thank you so much, I hope she will!
Jessica recently posted..I’m Scary!
She will take the world by storm. This was so well-told. Thanks for sharing it with us!
Sue the Desperate Housemommy recently posted..The Ten Commandments of the Neighborhood Garage Sale
I have no doubt she will, I just have to try to relax as she does it! So hard to let them go.
Jessica recently posted..I’m Scary!
Great post Jessica. I taught children that were autistic in a main stream classroom. It was great to see them achieving so many of the things that everyone else in the classroom was. Your daughter is lucky to have a mom who is so supportive of her and her succeeding in life.
A Mommy in the City recently posted..Interview with Rosie Pope & Pampers Limited Edition Print Diapers
Jessica, you are an outstanding Mother! She will no doubt reach her potential because you are allowing her to. Congrats on your day!
Nicole @MTDLBlog recently posted..Women Living Their Dream Jobs Daily Dose of Sugar Mama
Great post as always, Jessica! I can imagine letting go is very, very difficult. I’m sure she’ll do great venturing out on her own. :)
Elena recently posted..Mommy Knows Best Sort Of
Some of the wisest words I’ve read: “The only way she can succeed is if I let her try, give her to the world in small doses and hope that there is a place in line for her too.” What a strong way to finish up this post. I don’t have a child with autism, but feel this statement applies to all moms and their children. You have to let go at some point and give them the freedom to try. And that is So. Hard. To Do. There is a place in this world for everyone… Great post Jessica!
Kate F. recently posted..Mommy Math 101- Finding the Right Parenting Solutions
Thanks so much Kate!
Yes! That is exactly what I want for my child. I love it!
What a beautiful post.
Letting go is hard enough when your children have everything going for them…but when there is an obstacle in there way, such as a learning disability or autism, it has to be doubly hard.
Kmama recently posted..Monday Minute- 5-23-11
I have a 14 yr old with Asperger’s.
I know this road…one step at a time.
Alexandra recently posted..Im Gonna Kill Him
Jessica what a beautiful post. Letting go and allowing your children to navigate the world without your help is so hard but we all have to do it. What a wonderful post :)
Tina @ Life Without Pink recently posted..Sleep Battles Tips from the Playground
As always, you have such a beautiful way of putting a lot of complex emotions into a simple, well-described snapshot of life.
It’s so hard to let any of them go out on their own. The other day I watched Abbey’s face crumple in confusion when one of her little friends didn’t say “thank you” when Abbey carefully handed down one of her dresses. Such a little, non-important thing, but it was a reminder that I will see her struggle to navigate the world and have to force myself not to automatically “fix” all those little hurts :(
I have been a witness to exchanges such as that and I’m like you, watching and waiting to see how everyone else will react; ready to jump up if my help is needed. And you do this on a daily basis. Wow!
As always, your writing is beautiful and your words are insightful.
Sugar Mama recently posted..Learning From Creative Women
Beautiful post! It had me in tears!
Cheryl D. recently posted..Swim Lesson Craziness
Thanks Cheryl, sorry for the tears!
How proud his mother would have been to see it, not only that her son was successful, but that the people in her society have also come a long way.
I was always so proud of my students when they demonstrated how they had learned to accept and encourage each other. That lesson was far more important than learning to solve any mathematical equation I could give them.
Julie recently posted..Rookie mom mistake of the day- Keep a tee pee on the pee pee
Just wanted you to know that your story brought tears to my eyes (an I am not the “mushy” type). They were proud tears. I hope that your story touches others so that they might not be so quick to judge, but rather appreciate the simple things we take for granted. Thank you!
Oh Jessica, I loved seeing you over here today! And what a post…I’ve seen young people out in the world using their skills that were taught to them over and over, trying so hard to get it right. And to those cashiers? Sometimes they just don’t see how many steps it took to be able to order a sandwich and pay for it.
Such a great visual you gave us…great post!
Sherri recently posted..Booby Prize
Such a touching story. I wish you could have found his mother too, I bet she would have liked to know how well he did. I think we all want to know how our kids do without us. And know that others are looking out for them when we can’t be by their side carrying their tray.
You are an amazing mother, woman and writer, Jessica. This was beautiful. Ashlyn will be great, you’ve given her the tools, love and support. Gorgeous post.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..I vlogged Yes- I did Crap
This was so well written. It is so hard to turn them over to the big world and let them try for their own successes. It’s hard not to want to protect them from what we know can go wrong. And my son is not autistic. I can only imagine that letting go a little at a time is even harder with a child who is.
Ally recently posted..Greet Em Like A Dog
You know, I see kids like this sometimes – and adults too – and it really is amazing the skills required to get through what we take to be the simplest of tasks. I love the way you slow down the moment and let us take a magnifying glass to it – and to the emotion of the moment.
I’m glad you recognize how tough it is for them because so many don’t. Every little task is a big accomplishment for them and for their moms. :)
OMG. I love this post. My 8 yr old son also has autism. And everyday is struggle for all of us. He has grown so much since we first were told (he was 3.5). I still wonder when I will be able to let him do things completely on his own. It is a very scary thought. Good for him and his Mom for giving him the chance to prove he can.
It is hard when you don’t know what the future will hold. My daughter is 15 and I still don’t know what her adulthood will be like. Somehow we just have to hope that what we are doing is enough and keep on going.
This morning my son walked to the bus stop for the first time by himself. I was hugely uncomfortable letting him do it. But I did. and after he was far enough away not to see me, I stood on the edge of our property and spied on him the entire time until he got on the bus. Because letting go is hard. :)
Brook @ To Be Dancing recently posted..You Sank My Battleship!
Absolutely agree, so hard to think they may not need us someday.
Jessica recently posted..I’m Scary!
This is a great story, and I love that you notice and remember it. Sounds like you’ve got a great approach with your daughter.
And your writing is beautiful as always, Jessica :)
MamaRobinJ recently posted..I’ve Got the Scattered Part Right
Thanks so much, I guess when you can identify so much with these kids and their moms you tend to notice everything.
wonderful story. loved your blog as well.
wendy recently posted..Pimping My Ride
Simply beautiful. Thank you.
Mom on a Line recently posted..Decision Made
Such a wonderful post! You’re doing a great job as a mom and, from reading this, I think your daughter teaches you just as much as you teach her. She’s taught you to be patient and understanding with other people. What a gift. :-)
Christi recently posted..Blame It On The Rain
She absolutely teaches me more than I could ever teach her. Autism has changed us in many ways and this aspect of it is definitely a gift.
Jessica— I always love reading your perspective on things. So much love, attention to detail and honesty. I would follow your writing anywhere.
Mommy Shorts recently posted..Caption Contest
Awww, thanks so much Ilana.
Beautifully written!
Absolutely love this thoughtful story. I am struggling this week as my oldest wraps up her days at elementary school. She is thrilled to move on (which is wonderful!) and I am paralyzed by the fact that she is growing up to be an incredible independent young woman. (Who will hate me all through middle school.)
Thank you, Jessica. Now I am all choked up again!
mom-mom-mom recently posted..Family Secrets Trial- The Blindsided Fallout
So hard to watch them grow up isn’t it. Maybe you will be that lucky mom who is still adored by her daughter during the teen years… you can always hope!
isn’t it amazing that as mothers of special needs children, we view each others children’s progress and growth and milestones as awesome as if they were are own children? I am equally as excited for my friend’s kids as mine…we are all in this together…
and I love watching kids older than Brooke and adults too, it gives me such hope for her future…(my youngest has Down Syndrome, btw)
lovely post…
Not a Perfect Mom recently posted..Im Not a Princess- But
So well said. I completely agree, we all cheer on each other’s triumphs, I think because we all know how important every little step is and how hard our kids have worked for them.
Jessica,
What a beautiful post and so well written. I love it!
I really liked this. I think any mother can identify with this.
Alexandria recently posted..Another baby
I wish you would have found the mother, to reassure her that everything was just fine. As you know, she’d probably love to know. This is beautiful
MommaKiss recently posted..Urine for a surprise
I wish I could have too, a part of me wanted to follow him back to his seat just to make sure he got there okay and then maybe I would have met him mom. But I knew he was doing great and would make it back just fine.
Jessica, this is something that is close to my heart as my life is dedicated to teaching life skills to children. Great post.
Anthony recently posted..Why CharismaticKid is going to change the world
Thanks so much Anthony.
Jessica recently posted..I’m Scary!
Even though you weren’t able to go tell his mother what you say, I’m glad someone — YOU — saw it and were able to make note of it in your mind and in your heart.
Leigh Ann recently posted..Vlog Talk – Magazines we have but don’t read
There is absolutely a place in line for her. Your post brought tears to my eyes, I’m glad the man in line was able to balance everything and enjoy his independence. I’m glad he had such a wonderful mom who encouraged him to do so!
Your daughter is lucky to have you who will encourage her to be as independent.
Thanks so much Alissa, I’m glad I could see him do so well. I know I learned from what I saw and his mom taught me a few things whether she knows it or not.
This really was such a beautiful post. Having worked with many special needs children and adults I always silently cheer them on when I’m out and see an individual trying for some independence. It’s hard to watch people stare, and you are just left praying no one is an ass and says something.
Kalee recently posted..Simple Saturday Meal
I completely agree. I do the same, hold my breath and watch and hope that everyone is nice.
This gave me chills. You are a beautiful mother.
Kristine recently posted..Learning to Cope
Thank you Kristine.
Great post Jessica. I can just imagine the pride and trepidation, you felt at witnessing and relating.God bless.
Truthful Mommy recently posted..Theta MomMy TRUTH
Breathtaking post, Jessica. I could picture it all in my head. Thank you for bringing me there.
xoxoxo
Erin Margolin recently posted..Magic & Mystery
It is those small moments that truly define us as mothers and as people. To think that amount of work and preparation that went into being able to complete a task that most of use take for granted – that is true grit and determination.
I also love how in your post the goodness of the people shined through, totally reassuring as that we are not as ignorant and insensitive as the media would like us to believe.
I know, I honestly was as impressed with the representation of society in the line as I was with this man himself. Not to sound cheesy but it definitely “takes a village.”
That was beautiful. I’m crying as I type because I know exactly what you mean. My daughter has Asperger’s and everything she accomplishes is so huge to me. None of the victories are small, they are all hard-won.
The Hellcat recently posted..The Survivors of the Recent Storms in the South & Midwest
They are “hard-won” makes them that much sweeter, doesn’t it?
Absolutely! I’ve never been as proud of anything I have done in life as I am of her and her accomplishments. I’m sure you feel the same about your daughter.
The Hellcat recently posted..The Survivors of the Recent Storms in the South & Midwest
I love this post and I love reading Jessica’s blog. She is amazing!
Sarah recently posted..Crazy Face & Sweet Boys
With the wonderful guidance you have given her so far, she will not only balance popcorn, but many other things in life. And do it well.
Kelly recently posted..A Letter to Spam
Thanks so much Kelly.
I have a friend with a grown-up son with autism. From your post I knew exactly what was going through your mind. And hers.
Alison Golden – The Secret Life of a Warrior Woman recently posted..3 Keys To A Happy Relationship And Avoiding Abuse
How great that you are so understanding of your friend and her son.
I saw this link via twitter and came over to check it out. I am so glad I stopped by to read this. My heart swelled as I read your words and I could feel the spirit of what you described. I kept thinking as I read “roots and wings, roots and wings.” As a mom thats what we give them, roots so they come back home and wings so they can fly. Tears welled up in my eyes at the triumph which might be insignificant to others, but spoke volumes to me. Your friend is lucky to have you in her life.
SavvyP recently posted..Bathroom Disaster
Beautifully written as always Jessica.
I have no doubt in my mind that your daughter excels each time she is given an opportunity to show her independence.
Leighann recently posted..What Croaks beneath
What a beautiful post and lovely hopes and dreams for your daughter. With a loving Mom like you she is destined to blossom in her own time but with a flourish. Keep on nurturing her with your love, holding her hand when needed and letting her go when needed.
Anne recently posted..Get Your Ham On!
Thanks so much Anne, that is exactly what I plan to do.
Jessica recently posted..Senior Moment
Jessica, you have an amazing way with words. This post was beautiful. It’s so hard to let our children go out and face the world on their own. With a mom like you, there’s no doubt she will succede!
Kimberly recently posted..VlogTalk- My Crib
What a wonderful moment to capture! I would have been cheering for him too. I hope many will be cheering for your daughter too.
JDaniel4′s Mom recently posted..Dads Birthday Present! Panda Robot is on the List
Thank you for this post. I have a son who is autistic, and it is nice to realize that there are people “out there” that appreciate what it takes for him to navigate the world:).
Oh Jessica! this post is wonderfully written. I too, have watched as students with special needs tackle something in society with their peers that I wish their moms could see.
As their teacher, I want to run and hug them and yell, “YOU DID IT! YOU DID THAT!” but I don’t…because we don’t do that for other kids. I just give a high five or a fist bump here and there.
And hug them tight through my tears when they graduate.
And I am not even the mom.
Kate recently posted..the family that yard works together…