How to be a Good Wife

Want to Know How to be a Good Wife?

With three young kids, jobs, a new house and just general life, my marriage could use some TLC. Sure, my husband knows that I love him. But, do I love him well? Turns out, I have some things to learn.

Imagine how excited I was when I stumbled upon an inspirational site. There is a challenge called “Loving Him Well” that just started this week. By participating in this two month commitment, I’ll make my man happier and more fulfilled. Through that, I will become more fulfilled myself. For, a happy husband makes a happy wife. That’s what it’s all about!

This enlightening video lays out the plan:

Are you excited? I’m super excited! Here are the weeks that I’m especially looking forward to:

Ask your husband every morning how you can pray for him that day.

Bonus: Fast and pray for him one day this week. (I especially love the idea of combining the fasting and the praying. Two of my most favorite things!)

Make a list of 5 things you currently do and ask him to prioritize them for you of what is important to him.

For example – a clean home, home cooked dinner, coupon clipping, service at church, having friends over for dinner, watching/doing sports with him, etc. (Not sure about you, but Jeff gets really excited when I clip coupons! That’s going to top the list for sure!!)

Make him a priority.

Ask him what his favorite dinner, dessert and drink are. Be sure to serve him all three one night this week. Bonus: cook his favorite dishes all week long! (Homemade pizza, Chinese food and burgers, here we come!!)

Support his vision.

Discuss his vision for your family. Where does he see your family in 1 year, 5 years, and 10 years. Share with us how you let your husband lead. (We’ll follow wherever he may lead.)


No complaining, criticizing, rolling your eyes, nagging, or giving him any friction this week. Enjoy a week of peace in your home! (No friction at home- yay! Except, maybe in between the sheets, if you know what I mean! Wink, wink!)

Fun, right?! I can’t wait!

It’s really amazing to have found a site that is so in line with my personal values as a mother, a wife and a woman. The most exciting part? That there are 127 other women whom I can find so much in common with. Gee whiz, it’s almost too much for me to bear!

So, are you with me, dear readers? Can we all commit the next two months to becoming the women our husbands really want? Women that serve them, worship them and put them first? I know that I can’t wait to jump right in!

About the writer


In addition to being the founder of all things Scary Mommy, Jill is also the New York Times bestselling author of Simon and Schuster’s Confessions of A Scary Mommy and Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies)

From Around the Web


Ananda 2 days ago

thanks for your inspiration
to be a good wife let’s cooking with

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Sarah 7 months ago

Hey wives! If you are so certain that this is total bullshit, why don’t you try it? What most of you are doing is so cowardly! Like someone who has never tried sushi and insists that cold food sucks and everyone who loves sushi is an idiot for eating cold food. Come on, try being NICE to your husband. For god’s sake. He is your husband! Why is it so ridiculous to do nice things for him! But if you’re new at being nice to your husband, obviously don’t start with praying and fasting. Take baby steps! Start by cooking his favorite meals or if you can’t cook, go for dinner at his favorite restaurant or get his favorite takeout. Do this for a while and tell me you don’t see a difference in your marriage. Everyone wants to be treated well. And if someone treats you well from the heart, wouldn’t you want to reciprocate because you genuinely want to? You would! You would want to do everything you can for this person because this person loves you so much. Many of you don’t believe in this because for some warped reason, you don’t believe that a marriage can be wonderful and fulfilling and that marriage can make you so happy you never thought it was possible. Seriously. That kind of thinking is screwed up. Marriage IS wonderful. Seriously give it a try it and I bet most of you will shut up and stop laughing. If you’re too scared to even try, then continue living with a small percentage of how awesome your marriage could have been.

Dannii 8 months ago

Right, and then let’s all but houses in stepford **slow blink**

Heather B 1 year ago

Thanks for your comments on how to be a good wife, Jill. It’s ironic, everything you’re saying lines up perfectly with a brand new book I just finished reading called “The Wholehearted Wife: 10 Keys to a More Loving Relationship,” by Erin, Greg and Gary Smalley. It is centered on changing ME and aligning myself with God and what he wants from me as a wife. Biblical, inspirational, affirming. One of my favorite quotes is, “”If you want to have a more loving relationship with your husband, remember that he’s a gift from God, a treasured possession – just as you are. As a Wholehearted wife, seek to honor him each day by cherishing him and affirming his value. Treat him like a Stradivarius!” I highly recommend it!

Alla 1 year ago

you are amazing Debbie. As i started looking into this (Im getting married soon) i have seen alot of different perspectives. Ive read about women eating their mens scraps and never talking unless they are spoken to and ive also read blogs where women say they dont have to do anything for their husbands cause their husbands have hands too… but what you said right there is just perfect. that is exactly how a relationship should be like. when i surprise my boyfriend with going out of my way to do something, he becomes so happy, which makes me sooo happy and then he surprises me with something even bigger. which motivates me to do more, which in turn motivates him to do more also.

Michelle 2 years ago

Really sad that you try to make yourself bigger by making a mockery of someone else. You have kids, think about how you’re going to feel when someone makes a mockery of your children.

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Robin 3 years ago

The same tenets of Biblical marriage that ask women to be submissive also tell men to love their wives as Christ loved the church. He loved the church so much He died an ignominious death on a shameful cross. Submission doesn’t seem so drastic in light of Jesus’ sacrifice.

Robin 3 years ago

If one is a Christian, one believes Scripture. Paul does tell women to submit to men but he also tells men to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

Christ loved the church to shameful, ugly death on a cross. He withstood temptation from Satan himself for the church.

So it sounds to me that Jesus did intend our husbands to treat us the same way, or with even more sacrifice.

“BC time frames?” Time doesn’t change the value of respect and honor. Both of these are possible if a wife can humbly submit to her husband, second only to God. Respect and honor are also possible when a husband loves his wife as sacrificially as Jesus loves us.

The poster of these videos is speaking to women wishing to be godly wives. If you have a healthy, fulfilled marriage without these tenets, then that is fantastic. But for women who don’t, then maybe… just maybe they can try marriage according to Scripture.

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Philomena 3 years ago

You’re a good woman and a good wife. Be brave in the face of adversity.
“Blessed are they that suffer persecution for justice’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:10

bonnie anderson 3 years ago

This is a great way to keep your marriage alive and I love the core values you share about what marrige is suppose to be.

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zoe 3 years ago

Thank you. I will follow this as I have lost my sight on how important my husband is!

Kim 4 years ago

How do i deal with my husband and facebook?

Heidi 4 years ago

My husband would pull his pants down and say “get to it!”

Nikki 4 years ago

Do you mean sex? sex should not be a reward for your husband because you go to a fancy resteraunt. It should be equally enjoyable for both of you. Husbands need to love and respect and server, and so do wives. that is what people do when they LOVE each other.

Nikki 4 years ago

I see what you mean by those words being “appalling”. But, honestly in the Bibles it says that is what a woman should do, and the other side of that is that a husband should LOVE AND RESPECT his wife. If a husband respected his wife and loved her, it would be no problem for her to “obey” him, as he would not order her around and he would not be selfish. He would be a wonderful husband and make her feel wonderful every day. If both sides are not met, it would be a terrible rule to follow. If my husband ordered me around like a dog, I would not even think of “serving” him./ However, when my husband comes home and gives me and the kids hugs and kisses and says he loves us, and asks if my day went well I am happy to make him a wonderful dinner and give him a back rub. You have to remeber, when these things were wrote in the Bibles, woman really were mothers and wives, and that was it. There were no woman hunting or bringing home a living. So their job was to raise the kids and serve the husband. I completely understand that it sounds aweful nowadays, but honestly, having a child is serving your husband. It does not mean you should bow down and kiss his feet when he walks through the door. He should respect and love, and you should take care of his needs as a man. It only works if the husband and wife work as a team.

SinnerElla 4 years ago

OK, so I have a few little comments that I would like to add, though this post seems almost as old as the head of lettuce that’s probably in my veggie drawer in my fridge.
1. It would be less painful for my husband, children and myself for me to punch myself in the throat with a brick repeatedly than it would for me to even attempt this “Challenge”.
2. I feel that the sarcasm in the post above is perfectly acceptable as no one here has forced anyone else here to read said blog post.
3. I do not agree with bashing another’s beliefs in their religious view. I do, however believe in calling a spade a spade and pointing out the obvious (no matter how trivial, rude, abrasive or repugnant my choice of words may seem) that this view of a marriage seems very insecure and 1 sided. If a wife (or husband, for that matter) feels the need to literally change who they are for 2 months to be happier in their marriage, then there is something really fundamentally wrong with that marriage. (and probably said wife or husband)
4. I feel that doing things for my husband comes naturally to me (as it probably does with most wives who are happy in their situation) but please remember that at some point, no matter how happy I am there will be at LEAST a minimal amount of grumbling, complaining, eye rolling, nagging, and eventually cussing.
5. I don’t think that the whole basis of selflessness is wrong, just the way it’s gone about here. Why would one need a list supplied to them in the order of another’s chosen priority? As mothers, domestic CEO’s and wives, we pretty much see and know better than anyone else in the home, the list of priority in which things NEED to be done, no matter what anyone wants done.
6. The bible quoting is getting old. Most here have read the book, it seems and all seem to know how it ends. Use your own thoughts and reason with each other as opposed to attacking, name calling and link splashing back and forth. If you still feel the need to scream blasphemer or to tell another to shut their cockpocket, walk away from the board for a while. Like the saying goes, arguing online is like running in the special olympics… (Here’s the effed up politically incorrect punch line) No matter who wins, you’re all still a bunch of tards.
All that being said (and this being my first post) I’m going to take my overbearing, opinionated, stubborn, never know when to shut my mouth, Heathen self over to my couch and stare blankly at the talking box I paid way too much to watch football, drink beer and scream obscenities at during football season.

Sherri 4 years ago

Wow! This is scary! Lol. I tried just about everything in this article, except praying for him every day.
My divorce will be final in a month or two. No joke!!
Men may say they WANT a woman like this, but they sure AS HELL don’t respect a woman who does everything for them!

Marta 4 years ago

Wow. That was… something. Certainly an example of the kind of people I hope to stay very very far away from. For my safety and theirs.

Rita 4 years ago

If my husband decides to take US out to a restaurant or other date, yes, I’m going to give and get that night, if you know what I mean…

Rita 4 years ago

Somehow, I don’t think the bible thumpers understood the sheer sarcasm of this article and comments. Sad.

Dgbrown 4 years ago

Oh. My. Effin. God. (hey, does that count as praying? Score!)

FormerlyPreggersStepMom 4 years ago

6-10-2010 was when this article was written, and yet people are going into Scary Mommy archives to bash it? This is hilarious!
“Judge not lest ye be judged” may be a biblical quote the bible thumpers need to look up. While I can throw out several more, I’d rather keep living the way Christ himself taught rather than following a book put together and edited by one of the most corrupt churches ever known, thanks so much for reaffirming the reasons why people dislike and/or hate Christians ladies, I love having to defend MY faith because of spiteful hateful people who claim to be following in His footsteps.

rumala 4 years ago

It’s the wife who should submit to husband…Husbands also serve the wife by taking the leadership role in the family.

rumala 4 years ago

It’s more important that the girls are taught how to be good obedient wives than anythings else. Today we are seeing, girls are getting educated in schools/colleges so they get jobs, but what about happiness? Number one friend of these women is anti-depressant. Is that good? Is that progress of women. Decide for yourself.

rumala 4 years ago

Hello mother in israel, actually if you read this article – it’s very clear as to what are the duties of wife. Yes, both husbands and wives should care for each other and serve each other. But are women doing their part of the deal? When women don’t cook lunch/dinner and expect husbands to take them out to expensive restaurants, what can they expect? Today’s wives are told to be “take, take, take” from the husband. But how about giving little? Is it not that to get something, one should give something first?

rumala 4 years ago

Angryworkingmom, if you are christian, please see the following helpful article –
Understand who knows you (woman/wife/mother) better than your creator, uhh?? Got it? The Lord’s authority over all of us is final. We didn’t create the Lord, did we? But instead the Good Lord has created us, didn’t He? And he has told us all, men and women, husbands and wives how to live our lives, the way He wants us to live.

rumala 4 years ago

Alexis, I don’t understand why you are upset. This is excellent video based on scriptural understanding of how wife should be. I think Alexis, you are not wise in blaspheming. Instead you could learn a lot from it, in my opinion.

Skye 4 years ago

This may have worked when television only came in black and white! But bless those who try!

Skye 4 years ago

You gotta be kidding me!!!!!!!

Jana 4 years ago

Again, its all about respect and honoring. MOST and I mean A LOT of women do not do either.. yes there are a few of us that still believe marriage is what it should be, GOD ordained and respect it for what it is and should be. Yes I am a stay at home mom for 20 years… have they always been perfect? NO. However, my husband does respect me, loves me…still treats me like the day he first seen me. I ENJOY taking care of him. Many women don’t even bother anymore.. and then they sit back and scratch their heads wondering why their husband was seeking other women. If you don’t treat your husband like he deserves, just remember their is someone else out there that will :)

Nikki 4 years ago

I like this statement. I agree. Obviously if you both work, thigs are different…but still, husbands do need good wifes, and wifes need good husbands. basically, do your part, and he will do his.

Nikki 4 years ago

I feel like maybe she was refering to stay at home wives/moms. I used to work 60 hour weeks, while pregnant and taking care of a 1 year old when i got home. In that case, my husband waited on me, but i fufilled his emotianl needs. I thanked him and told him I was greatful every day, and he thanked me also. Marriage should be equal effort from both sides….do what you can manage. Try and be a good wife…if you are a good wife, and he is not a good husband, there is nothing you can do to change him. But you can make sure you are doing YOUR part, it is up to him to do the rest.

Nikki 4 years ago

Hey. i am 19 and am married with 2 kids. I love my husband so much, and he means the world to me. He loves me too. Lately we have been arguing a lot and just disrespecting each other,and it kills me. I know we both want to be together forever, and be a family with our children, but it is hard with all the stress so early on in our marriage, and we are obviously young, so that means we have a lot to learn. I am so giving this challenge a shot, and I am very excited about it! Please pray for me, and him. We really could use the support. We have a beautiful family now, and we need to keep it together and happy. I am determined; ourbeautiful little baby boys deserve it, and so do we. Thanks!

GodFearing 4 years ago

Quote: did she really say “walk with the King”? WTF does that even mean?!?!

It means to follow in Gods foot steps.

Ilseken 4 years ago

I stopped listening to her words after about 5 seconds, but I couldn’t take my eyes of her hands, what’s up with all the circle-waving moves? And I have to wonder about the comment at the end, did she really say “walk with the King”? WTF does that even mean?!?!

Kristi 5 years ago

I recently stumbled upon Courtney and the Women Living Well blog. I believe she has a lot of great suggestions. Of course men have a large part in serving their wives and children, but I am a wife so I need to focus what God is expecting me to do. Her video clips are short and don’t go into a lot of depth. There are complexities I’d imagine to having a drunk or drug addicted husband and one would have to be careful to not enable them and also to get them appropriate help — and keep everyone safe. Though the world has different ideas, I am so happy to know Christ and follow His plan no matter how silly it may seem to some, it does bring about a peace that I didn’t have before.

christi 5 years ago

I would totally go for something like this if it was an endeavor to do together as a couple. How can we serve each other better? Of course, it just makes me think of oral sex.

Kathryn Lang 5 years ago

A post about “completing her” would probably have just as many negative comments because marriage is a team effort. The problem comes when trying to tell someone else what to do. I can only change me so that is what I have to focus on doing when things are not the way I want or need them to be.

IMO – I think she is showing that when a wife listens to her husband’s needs and then honors those needs then she becomes a better person and that effects both the marriage and her husband.

Brit 5 years ago

I’m sorry i work and go to school my husband works also and i’m not cleaning house by myself and waiting on him hand and foot (pardon the way i put this) either he helps or he doesnt get laid on a regular basis and if he doesnt like that he knows where the door is. dont get me wrong i love him with all my heart but i’m very much for the 50 50 part of everything

Laffitupfzbl 5 years ago

Holy freaking shit. Why didn’t she just close with “And ladies, that man has been knocking at your back door for 8 years. A good Christian would let him in.” Jesus. And not in the way she means it.

Armywife225 5 years ago

I don’t think you were bitchy at all. You were funny. I am a SAHM who cooks, cleans, does everything for our daughter, and also contributes to all the decisions that will afftect us as a family.
I think it’s rediculous that some women think it’s their “duty” to do everything I do on a daily basis. I do it because it makes ME happy to take care of my family. Not because I feel, as a woman, I have to. (And my husband knows better than to ever tell me it’s my obligation!)
When I was working, we split all the household chores. When I stopped contributing financially, I took over the house. It’s what works for OUR family.
My husband loves that I have a mind of my own and that I’m stubborn.
You shouldn’t completely lose who you are in the process of becoming a wife and mother, even if you are a SAHM.

Truth Jones 5 years ago

Women in the forties and fifties were NOT happier. They were more concerned with public images and trained from the cradle to be good little wives. Marriage should be a commitment between equals. Because that’s what men and women are. Equal.

NativesquawFL 5 years ago

1) I don’t need anyone to tell me how to do these things, I have been doing them since day one, and without looking like a total brainless, spineless twit. 2)My hubby’s nickname is “Corrigan” so he is not allowed to lead anywhere we actually want to get to. 3)He loves everything I cook, and when asked his preference, he replies, “whatever you feel like making sweetheart” 4) A week of friction-less life in OUR home will leave poor Eric thinking he is in the wrong house. Soon, both boredom and inertia will set in, followed by depression and a complete break with reality. Honestly, we have both been through 2 bad marriages, both abusive (my wife-in-law is the REAL scary-mommy) and we entered this one knowing only what doesn’t work. So we both put in 100%, not this 50/50 crapola, which basically means you’re doing it half-assed. Neither of us counted in our exes lives, so I put him first, he puts me first, and that way, we’re BOTH #1. Honesty and faithfulness is also something new to each of us, we were both those things, our exes notsomuch. So we appreciate these qualities in each other. And frankly, having a man I can trust completely, coupled w/being post menopausal, our sex life is something to shout from the rooftops about (but I don’t coz I have some really fuddy-duddy neighbors) and also believe ‘women be wise, keep your mouth shut, don’t advertize your man’ Nuff said.

Reborn 5 years ago

^^ Best. comment. ever. ^^

AfroLady 5 years ago

WORSHIP??? You had a point until you used that word. How can you be a Christian and even suggest a woman WORSHIP her husband?

DebbieJ 5 years ago

Yes, thank you. Divorce is the instant quick-fix when the going gets tough. People marry to be “happy” and have all their needs met and when reality sets in and the infatuation and excitement fade, they move on to the next “relationship” to get those feelings again. Hollywood and movies feed this trend. Sadly, many people are not staying married long enough to find out how fulfilling and happy they could be by working through the hard times and DECIDING to stay in it for good! It’s definitely much more about commitment than being happy sometimes. At some point, everyone wants out or feels like they aren’t as “happy” as they want to be. That’s when the work starts! So glad I didn’t leave when I wanted to. I’d have missed this wonderful husband it turns out I had all along!

DebbieJ 5 years ago

Yes, and from experience, the nastier people get is usually a sign of their own guilt, denial, or both and their refusal to admit it. The sarcasm, and bashing of the person makes them feel powerful, and distracts from the flaws and chaos in their own lives. I remember girls like this in 1st grade and 8t h grade. Unfortunately, some never seem to grow out of it, and use these tactics their entire lives instead of facing and dealing with the true problem-themselves.

Royalbird 5 years ago

Thanks for being one of the few comments that actually makes sense. If you want a little, you need to give a little. It just makes sense.

DebbieJ 5 years ago

Had to comment on this, even though I stumbled across this several months after it was originally written. Seeing how many women get defensive and begin spouting feminist nonsense at the mention of being a better wife and meeting our husbands needs pretty much gets my back up. Ever thought about giving it a shot before immediatley saying,(PARAPHRASED) “Well I’m not doing this on my own, He’s gotta be doing his part to make ME HAPPY.” Because, that’s just where those type of comments come from: SELFISHNESS. I can say that because that is just the kind of wife I was, and still struggle with not being now. For anyone that would like to debate it , try for one week (without saying anything to him about it) meeting his needs unselfishly. It’s just a week! Make his dinner, ask him about his day, don’t nag, complain or whine about how hard your day was, get the kids in bed , and yes do what you know he would love(lingerie, candles “etc”..). Again don’t be dumb and say” Do you want me to meet all your needs, and serve you all the time, Does that make you happy? Any guy who know what’s good for him will say “no, i don’t want that. you don’t have to do that. ”
If you truly do this for him in a kind gentle manner, the results WILL knock your socks off. I’m sure there are exceptions, but if you did marry a decent guy, he won’t only notice, amazingly enough, it WILL BECOME TWO SIDED. That’s the beauty of it. It may start out with us meeting their needs, but suddenly we have husbands going out of their way to dote and take care of their wives as never before. The love and respect that comes back to us when we are kind, respectful, caring, and loving is 10, 20. 100 fold what we started out giving. Our culture, TV, & feminist movement have robbed us of being truly happy and fulfilled by telling us that men are dumb, unnecessary baffoons. It’s not belittling to take care of our men, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Want to affairproof your marriage? Make him love coming home to us!! Remember it’s only “sacrificial” at 1st because you get it all back and then some!!! They are bombarded by sexual images from every direction and if the person whom they married gripes, whines , and witholds sex , why is it surprising they go elsewhere? Then, these same women go to a marriage couselor, their mom, and all their friends, and cry about how he’s such an awful person because he didn’t hold up his end of the marriage, when they also weren’t holding up their end. (I know this isn’t the only scenario for affairs, and that there are bad guys and girls out there, but if everyone is honest this is the most common scenario). I know there are many women who will throw their heads back and howl over this. WE as women have suffered for having these values crushed underfoot by the feminist movement. I am a working mom. My husband helps me at home, in fact when I’m living this out, he is bending over backwards to ease my burden. when we as women treat our men this way, it is a win-win situation.
PS Also, refuse to get drawn into huband-bashing conversations. If everyone else starts up, just say “I have an amazing guy that keeps me satisfied and happy.” When they pick up their jaws, they may want marriage advice.

Holly 5 years ago

Personally, I have a major problem with putting “another person’s needs before [one’s] own.” And thankfully, I live with someone who has the same policy. If I’m not happy, then my boyfriend won’t be happy either. That goes both ways. All each person can do is fix their own crap in their head (and yes, we all have some of it in there) and work on fulfilling their own needs. Trying to please someone all the time else will only lead to trouble…and major unhappiness.

I did thoroughly enjoy this post, though! Good luck with the challenge! 😉

Karina 5 years ago

My guy has always told me that he loves me just the way I am and that anything other than the way I am would be boring. Living with me can be a real challenge due to the fact that I have bipolar. I am in no way a Domestic Goddess! I much prefer the title of Rebellious Domestic Goddess.:) If I asked my guy how I could pray for him each day he would bundle me off to the hospital!!!!!!! ♥

Rita 5 years ago

Jana, I was lmao at the video and:

1. I am married

2. This is my first and only marriage.

3. We are happy. Sure, we fight like all couples do but we’re happy most of the time.

4. Cheating conjures up secrets and lies. What happened 5 years ago was a mutual decision and actually made our marriage way better and that kind of stuff doesn’t happen anymore, and we trust each other more then we ever did.

5. Again, this is my first and only marriage.

There was divorce in the 1950’s, people just didn’t talk about it like they do today. I know a few mommies who laugh at this may match some of your opinions about who laughs at this stuff, but most of us are happily married and can still laugh at this. It’s called having a sense of humor. If my husband wanted a robot, he would have married a robot. He laughs at the Stepford Mommies and he’s happy that I’m so laid-back, relaxed, have my own mind and can think for myself.

Jana 5 years ago

I have been married for 19 years to the same man. I do believe that if many more women of today would treat life like it was in the 40/50’s we wouldnt have the divorce rate we have today. Try doing these suggestions and I bet you will get a lot more happiness out of your marriages!

Mrs McCallum 5 years ago

I love this! Im always looking for ideas on how to be a better wife to my husband. Thank you for this!!

alexis 5 years ago

i know this is like ten years after the fact, but ss…shut the hell up. i’m from utah, and you can bite my ass for implying that all people from utah are polygamists and think the same way that this woman does. i happen to agree with jill on this one.

get a clue.

CousinLinda 5 years ago

My husband’s comment when I asked him about it: “If I wanted a robot, I’d have married a robot.”

Alzaetia 5 years ago

The reading list (and accompanying warning) was my favorite:

“When reading literature, occasionally you might run across undesirable topics. I always advise parents to use it as a tool to teach a biblical worldview. Some parents even make it a “game” or “challenge” to find areas in a book or piece of writing to note feminism, sin, agendas, fallacies in logic and so forth as they can make for excellent points of discussion.”

ss 5 years ago

is she from utah? and…does she live on a compound?? :)

Andrea 5 years ago

Hilarious! Hysterical! Hystrionic! Love it!

Stephanie @ Confessions of a Trophy Wife 5 years ago

I especially loved that when I played the video on YouTube that I was able to play vuvuzelas over the lady who was talking!

Becka 5 years ago

Not in the slightest bit feminist, not interested in at it all. make a man a sandwich it won’t kill you, but i have enough to do around my home without submitting to my husbands every whim. they would be dumb anyways like ‘hey get me a beer’ every 5 minutes. (i guess that makes him a drunkard and me a ‘different kind of wife’ 😉

Sarah 5 years ago

Umm. WOW. Yea, not so much over here. My inner feminist is also shuttering.

toxicsheepnomore 5 years ago

This perky lil thing sounds like she has gulped down whole heartedly the stuff “Vision Forum” and Michael and Debi Pearl are shovelling out…dangerous stuff…

Mary 5 years ago

I lol’d about the coupons. My boyfriend fucking hates it when I clip coupons.

Paul 5 years ago

As a “MAN” i would not want my wife to obey everything I said! How is that a partnership, for this reason we took the word “obey” out of our wedding vows.

Our marriage of 12 yrs now is built on a partnership and part of this partnership is that “I” do the dishes, laundry, empty trash cans, misc cleaning -picking up and I put the 3 boys to bed every night. We dated for 5 yrs and we had this hashed out before we said “I DO”! We both knew each others strengths and weaknesses and we do not try to turn each other into something we are not. We both ask each to compromise and do what is best for the “Family”

And for anyone keeping track – we are Christian, I work full-time in manufacturing-and my wife is a full time mom (not housewife) and blogger.

Enjoy the blog – i hop on every few days to read-never commented before.

Jen 5 years ago

If being obedient and letting your husband be the leader of the house doesn’t mean being obedient and letting your husband be the leader of the household, what does it mean?

Do you get an equal say? If you do, how is your husband the leader of the household? Do you decide things together? How is that being obedient?

I’m seriously confused.

Joie 5 years ago

Um, so I have absolutely no interest in ever becoming the woman my man needs. I mean, by the time he marries me I would sure hope he kind of knows me. And I am not a make my man happy all the time kind of gal.

So….where is the website for men on how to become the man I NEED? My priorities, my needs, my foot rubs nightly?? Sheesh.

I am sure this woman has some of the best intentions, but even READING her site makes my inner feminist shutter in pain.

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy 5 years ago

My first instinct at this was to recoil and say, “WTF, lady?” But despite the fact that I think a lot of her good intentions are waaaay overboard, it did make me consider how I interact with my husband, and realize that it really IS important to work at making him happy.

I just won’t be, you know, fasting for him or anything. He’d rather I eat than be a hungry, griping bitch. :)

Kevin Bruce 5 years ago

My big brother constantly amazes me with his articulation of issues. Though he didn’t get that Scary mommy was being sarcastic, you should read his comment:

Mother Mature 5 years ago

The video was hilarious. My husband and I went to Courtney’s blog and watched every single one of her videos. And laughed our heads off. We were particularly dumbfounded at the one where if you didn’t agree with your husband’s choices (of TV or music for example), you had to respectfully tell him that it made you uncomfortable, and then you had to go pray that he would change his mind. WTF?

I’m shocked that some women feel that they have to live that way, but whatever… It’s their loss!

I also saw Scary Mommy’s very classy comment in response to Courtney’s open letter. So anybody here who can’t see the humor in this post needs to take a breath, or a pill — whatever floats your boat.

angryworkingmom 5 years ago


It makes me so mad when women hide behind Christianity with this nonsensical subservient crap.

angryworkingmom 5 years ago

I think all of the folks that are recited the entire Bible to say that they are right should realize 2 things:

Suzanne you are absolutely right that there is no such site, and that if were about husbands and wives respected each other as so many have said that no one would be repulsed.

Second- The words used..serve, obey, submit..those are ridiculous when talking about a husband and wife.

Their are plenty of Christian women who find this is absolutely appalling! Count me as one!

Wednesday’s Child 5 years ago

To each his/her own. I thought your post was funny.

Jack 5 years ago

That albino dude is creepy. Gives me the willies.

FFC 5 years ago

not saying it’s charming- I am only stating it changes political opinions- opus dei (like the albino in Davinci Code) now fights for Gay Rights! magical!

Shayna 5 years ago

Seriously! Forget finding Mr. Right… what I need is Ms. Submissive here! 😉

PreggersStepMOM 5 years ago

Did you realize what a controvery your blog would be, Jill???
I am Laughing my Ass off, reading the comments, for and against, being mean and not, and just plain old full of spitefullness.
I am waiting for you to be put on a watch dog list! So I can laugh more.

Everyone else has quoted the “bible” (don’t get me started on that one yet again, LOL) so I will quote the Beatles and Bambi (I know your love of Disney,).
“All you need is love”
“My momma said if you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”
I will say again to EVERYONE:
This is a blog, not a news journal (which used to be more un-biased), if you do not like what is said by Scary Mommy, or her cult of followers, DO NOT READ THIS PAGE, in fact stope reading right now, and cleanse your computer of it’s filth, and never open this site again.

Jack 5 years ago

Everyone thinks that they own the one that can charm the pants off the other guy. It is part of what makes you guys cute, funny, but cute.

PreggersStepMOM 5 years ago

Your post didn’t hit me wrong at all Kew!
I enjoy a good philsophical debate, for the most part I don’t get my panties in a bunch now a days.
While I do identify as a Christian (my own set of beliefs, I hate most churches, more on that further down.) I am also an American, and a miltiary brat to boot, third generation, LOL. So I believe in Freedom, for ALL, and my family has sarcificed for that freedom for generations.
That being said, Do I think my views on religion, heaven, God, etc, are correct? Damn straight! Now, go ask others with different faiths than my own (including different Christian folk…..) that same question, you’ll get some form of Yes, probably with out the cuss word. I have to accept that, As a christian and an American. Do I disagree, yes I do. Do I get nasty about it, wellllllllll sometimes. It’s the whole judgemental issue, God (my own and everyone else’s) is the only one fit to judge anybody, and will. But I do not “condem” anyone to damnation, again not my place, but I am willing to discuss (trying for calmly, LOL) my personal views with them, chances are I will not be changing their minds anymore than they can change mine.
I hated God for so long, the various churches I was forced to attend just made it worse. One, in third grade made me become educated about the book of Revalations, King has nothing on that one, I was terrified for YEARS, I would wake up and my family would be off doing something out of ear shot of my screams for them, and I would just know that God hadn’t wanted me, that I was bad. That’s a ton of guilt for a third grader!
Another church said ALL modern medications were evil and the work of Satan. My sister’s (my BFF/bane of my exsistance) life has been saved WAY too many times by medicine, including within hours of birth. I have SEVERE mental issues, I can’t function without my medication in any way shape or form, so right then and there I was going to hell once again, because of something I have no control over, NONE.
Then there was my rape, by the president of the Fellowship of Christian Athlete’s, but I was lying and had tempted him because I was a bad kid, right? It was my fault for the way my body looked (36 C since fifth grade), and because I liked kissing (I am serious, MY FAULT), some of these things said by my own God fearing Christian parents.
I am also a drug addict, since age 13 and that means I’m damned too.
I have tattoo’s, lots of them (I have biblical quotes here, but others have more against I am sure)
I have a failed marriage, due to lies and deception from both me and my ex, and I was a good submissive wife, he left me for a MAN.
At this point in time, my faith was gone, my hope for salvation had ended long before, and I tried to take my own life (not the first time). My parents arrived at the hospital to their youngest daughter seizing, and having a stroke. My mom didn’t sleep for over a year out of fear she would wake up and find me dead by my own hand.
And finally three years later, I came openly and honestly into the fellowship of AA (I am an addict, this is another personal choice, don’t ask), where I didn’t have to love God, just a Higher Power of my chosing. A year into sobriety I was in a hell of cravings, sucidal thoughts, and my mental illness full blown in a whole new way, and I screamed at God, asking how or why he could do this to me, haven’t I suffered enough. I tried to die again that night, and a few more after that.
I found a pastor, my parents new one at a LUTHREN church, He loved me just for me, as did the rural, older congragation, tattoo’s and all. They did not judge, they did not shame me for anything I had done or occasionally did now (one about smoking, but, eh) and I found a whole new meaning of the word Christian.
I am in a whole new boat of damnation, I’m pregant and not married or getting that way any time soon. I love the man I live with and am having a child with, and he loves me. We both have a failed marriage, our daughter was an un-expected joyfull suprise (I.E. we got snowed in on Christmas and couldn’t get to the drug store.), and he has children from previous relationships, and is I’m calling it Agnostic. I have friends and family from all over, not a damn one of us can agree on anything so him and I being different iis not that big an issue.
I do know that I have changed people’s opinions of what a Christian is, how one acts, not to mention looks like. I wear a cross on my back (tattooed, of course), and never deny my faith no matter how unpopular it makes me, I love everybody (don’t like most of them, but…..), and I pray for forgiveness, I pray for other people, and I pray for the whole world a lot of the time. I do not judge, I do not condescend, and I try not to attack others who do not share my beliefs, even those who’s religion goes under the same name (who I have the most issues with) as my own. It is a choice, some make it, some don’t. It will work out in the end however it is meant to, whether my beliefs are the one true way or not, I believe that and it gives me hope, and a greater purpose.
This doesn’t mean that I am doing anything other than allowing and accepting others for their ability to have these same out comes, in thier own way.
Every religion for it’s followers is the only way! It is this faith which makes the worst day feel a bit better, the worst offense can be forgiven or attoned for, and there is more to life than this bleak exsistance. I will not take that from anybody else, just as I won’t let them take mine.
I respect others freedoms, as much as I want them to respect mine even if their view pisses me off. I guess it’s just a love thing for me, I love all and I am there to help when needed and watch them fall if that is what is needed as well. When I die or the world ends with a whimper or a bang, everything will go as it is supposed to, whether I am right or not, I will die thinking that, which will make death less of a scary thing.

PreggersStepMOM 5 years ago

Make up sex is nothing compared to angry/fighting sex! It’s the bee’s knees baby!

FFC 5 years ago

oh sweetie POP works both ways- my hoo-ha has magical powers, I married a conservative opus dei catholic- who now after 20 years HE is a RAGING liberal! Sometimes I think I should go and sleep with Rush, Glenn and Sarah to just make the world a better place…if only I didn’t throw up at the thought.

Johanna 5 years ago

THAT is marriage.

Johanna 5 years ago

Loved your take on this. Such an inspiring issue!

Winkies Mom 5 years ago

Great reply!! Still lmao!!

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

I have a very fulfilled life without believing in Jesus or God, thank you very much.

sonya schroeder 5 years ago

What is amazing to me is that Courtney is teaching GODS WORD, if you do not believe it to be GODS WORD then what she is saying may sound funny to you.

My question to anyone who took offense to her challenge is If we do NOT truly know who Jesus Christ is how can we “truly” serve Him?

We can not pick and choose things from Gods word to live by. When you study Jesus Christ and I mean study every single day to know who He truly is, He reveals to us how we should live our lives.

That includes your neighbors, you children, your spouses, everyone around you. God says in Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Not knowing who God truly is we live more in sin then we know.

There are so many season in our lives raising our children up to be Godly adults, putting God centered in our marriages so that we have refuge over the devil, spending time with God ourselves so that we may draw closer to Him, and most importantly Serving Others with Joy. God says in Mark 10:45 “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life a ransom for many”

That is what our lives should look like in ALL areas of our lives.

Living our lives for “I” gives room for the devil to take over at any time, however when we live our lives for “GOD” and let Him be in control we are at a peace that you can not explain.

My prayer to the ones who took offense is that you will look deeper into your relationship with Jesus Christ and get to know HIM so that you can have a fullfilled life that way God intended us to in our marriages, raising our children and serving others with Joy.

May God bless you all

Serving with Joy
Sonya Schroeder

kewkew 5 years ago

I am sorry if you took my post in the wrong way. I was not judging you. You had stated in response to someone’s previous post or (multiple posts, I am not sure which), “Who the hell do you think you are to tell anyone what the ONLY path to salvation is?” My point was, Christians are not the ones who said there is only one way to salvation, it was Jesus Christ himself who you yourself profess to believe in.
I was just trying to clarify what you believe. If you look at the time stamp on my post, I had not gone to bed and was extremely tired. My apologies if you took me to be judgmental, I was trying to be.
I never said we are to beat people over the head with the Bible. All I meant was, if we believe in Jesus, he said there is only one way to heaven, so not letting people know or telling them it is okay to believe something to the contrary is giving them an eternal death sentence.

S Club Mama 5 years ago

I think that too many people now see divorce as an option instead of working through problems, getting help. Not saying that divorce is never an option (even the Bible clarifies when divorce is “allowed” – for lack of a better term), but too many people go into marriage forgetting (or not realizing) that it’s work. Not saying that marriage isn’t romance and that lovey feeling but it takes real commitment, dedication, and putting your spouse ahead of yourself. Just like the Bible says that the head of the woman is the man and the head of the man is Christ.

Bruna 5 years ago

Totally agree with you. It saddens me that so many *christians* turn to throw rocks at whoever oposes to them, forgetting that forgiveness is a virtue and part of God’s will.

I gave up on the whole discussion – it’s pointless… It was a funny post, I checked on Courtney afterwards, she sure is a good hearted woman and I’m sure she does help a lot of people in many ways. :)

And, lucky you and me (and so many others here!), we can laugh at Scary Mommy’s words, understand them, support her, enjoy it, and wait for more fun to come! Hehe.

Have a great evening! 😉

Kat @ For the Love of Chaos 5 years ago

As a woman and a wife, it makes perfect sense for her to appeal to her readership which is I’m assuming 99% female. Why speak to an audience that isn’t listening? The fact of the matter is, as a WIFE, you can only control what YOU do and quite often if you are doing these things, you begin to sort of lead by example which means it’s likely he will begin to do the same. You can encourage someone to reciprocate an action SIMPLY by performing it.

Rachel 5 years ago

The divorce rate was lower because women felt required to remain in unhappy marriages and less inclined to be honest with themselves or others, not because they were happier.

Rachel 5 years ago

There are some people who are literally born with a disorder which makes them produce too much serotonin. It really has no drawbacks to the person, but makes everyone around them(especially those of us with the opposite problem) cringe. This could be the case.

PreggersStepMOM 5 years ago

I will not get into a bible verse quoting war, I do not believe that the bible being marketed today is anywhere near what it was when Jesus walked with us in body.
I will however, be as nice as possible, even though I’m really normally a raving bitch.
Jesus did not try to covert people through shame, or anger, or manipulation, but through love, kindness and understanding.
He did not condem others based on their beliefs or status in life.
Now, that being said,
I have no issues discussing my religion with ANYBODY. I was in a hate hate relationship with God for ten years, I ended up back being Christian after exploring, trying, and some what liking many other religions. I, as well as alot of other people I know in my “boat”, am disgusted at how “christians” are treating people, ALL PEOPLE even other Christians. While I will not deny Jesus, I know folks who are faltering in this sense because of the stigma that goes with being Christian in alot of society’s.
It is not our place to chastise, insult, or just be too darn mean to anybody. Especially not in the name of Christ who embodied love. I do not try to “convert”, I simply help other’s understand my beliefs, and sometimes they agree. By not being accepting of others faiths, we do not show love. Of course everyone thinks theirs is the one true way into heaven! That’s how it goes. BUT, wars have been waged in many different gods names, including Christ, children have died, men and women who did not deserve it were slaughtered, but people did so because they were RIGHT.
I’ve read the “bible” many a time, and none of this sounds like anything having to do with Jesus’s concept of life or love. If you want to pray for someone, do it. But don’t make them feel like they are going to hell because they don’t subscribe to your religion, that is not your job. That is God’s job, and who do people think they are trying to do his job?
Sharing your faith, as I believe you put it, does not mean beating people over the head with the bible! Do I believe I have the right religion, OF COURSE. Do I think I need to be mean and calous to those who do not share these views? NO.
I do not go to church, not even on Christmas and Easter. I do keep in close contact with a man much more well versed in this stuff than I. I pray, I love, I turn the other cheek, and I never deny my faith, this is what makes me a Christian.
I have some quotes to go with this if you’d like them…………
But I ask again, who are you to JUDGE me?

Grace Australia 5 years ago

Scary alright!

Haley 5 years ago

Nice post! haha I agree. My husband walked in the room when I was watching the video, and rolled his eyes at IT! haha He can think of a few things he would prefer to show him I appreciate him (wink, wink) as opposed to discussing his “vision”. And I don’t think it takes FASTING to prove to my husband he means the world to me. Just my opinion but that lady sounds crazy. If it were a two way street, that would be one thing, but I don’t think I will EVER get my husband to fast for me, and I’m FINE with that (and so is he). :)

kewkew 5 years ago

So, PreggersStepmom, you are a Christian? You state you believe in the love and salvation of Jesus Christ. Great. What did Jesus save you from. “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Whoever “believes” in Him. In other words, if someone doesn’t believe in Jesus they do NOT have eternal life. If you are a Christian this verse, John 3:16 is foundational. Yes God does LOVE everyone, he doesn’t want anyone to go to hell, it was prepared for the devil and his angels (that is in the Bible), but He is a holy God and can not permit sin. That is why he sent Jesus. Jesus himself said “I am the way, the truth and the life, no man cometh unto the father but by me.” John 14:6 Yes, the same Jesus, who as you stated loved all, also said you need to believe in Him to be saved. And Jesus is not going to reject someone because of what they are, but because of who they did NOT except into their lives, HIM. Yes there are Jews who are going to be in heaven. His disciples were Jewish. But they put their trust in Him.. I believe it is extremely dangerous to be a Christian and say their are other ways to heaven and technically hypocritical. For the reasons I stated above. If you are not sharing your faith as Jesus told us to you are allowing others to think there is another way to heaven, when Jesus himself said he was the only way. You can’t have it both ways.

kewkew 5 years ago

I don’t believe this video and challenge is about kissing someone’s —– so they won’t leave them. I feel it is showing respect and encouragement and love to our husbands.

kewkew 5 years ago

I am a Christian and I have been supporting this challenge, but I took offense at this thread because the way I read it I am the one who was responsible for my ex husband’s 3 different affairs through our 8 years of marriage. No matter what I did for him, or did to change myself, it would not have been good enough because he is a control freak and he wants what he wants when he wants it. I don’t think it is fair of you to make wives feel guilty for the wrongs their husbands have committed.

kewkew 5 years ago

I have to agree with Kelly B(elly). I am definitely bothered more by the comments here than the original post. And as Missy stated the blog is geared to women and this challenge focuses on what we can do for our husbands. But as stated by others that does not make the wife a door mat.

What bothers me even more is the “Christians” on here who are also ridiculing or disagreeing with the original video. If you are a Christian you are a follower of Christ. Jesus said if we love Him we will keep his commandments. The Bible is God’s book for us to follow. And in the Bible it states that a wife is to submit to her husband. (Ephesians 5:22-24) If you read this passage you will note we as wives are to submit as the church is to submit to Christ. Yes I know it also states a husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the church. As Missy stated, we know this is a two way street. But this video is addressed to the wife and how we can bless our husbands in the love of Christ. The Bible states that the man is the head of the home (1 Corinthians 11:3).

Unknown Mami 5 years ago

I discussed my husbands vision with him and we decided to set up an eye-doctor’s appointment for him in 1 year, in 5 years, and then again in 110 years. We’re set!

Jill Seiman 5 years ago

oh, mama, i’m enjoying these comments. so with you, as always.

Kelly B(elly) 5 years ago

Hey, Elle. Thank you saying “not all.” I hate being lumped into that category. Now, while I believe in the bible (all, not part), and sometimes it’s “uncomfortable” to stand on the word of the bible when others disagree, I also would NEVER assume to make decisions for God, even based upon His word. So sure there are things listed there that “tell the way” but I also think that God can do what he wants, and who am I to make those determinations for him. It’s a little presumptuous. I do what I think is right, and try not to *shove* my beliefs down someone else’s throat. Also, I’m really really sorry someone said that to your mom. That was HUGELY insensitive, regardless of their convictions, and definitely not right to say that.

Kelly B(elly) 5 years ago

I come from a CHristian upbringing of the living God/personal realationship sort. So I don’t think that the “challenge” is hooey like so many others here. I get what that bloggers intention is. I think you, however, may have a few reality checks coming your way. To say that you can control your husband? Ever hear the phrase “God is in control?” That’s because we aren’t. Not of our husbands, not of our children. We are all “weak” and fall short and we are all tempted by *something.* So to try to be in control is to play God, to try and take His place. And to say that he causes/allows oil spills or natural disasters, death or disease, is to assume that you know what he is thinking. And that’s a pretty big assumption. I think you may need to seek a little more humility of faith.

Kelly B(elly) 5 years ago

Yes, “we” may know, but the rest of the bashers out there don’t have a clue. They just don’t get it, so they’re ridiculing.

Personally I’m not as bothered by Jill’s post as much as I am by the commenters.

Rhonda 5 years ago

HAHAHAA! Great comment Betsy. No wonder married men live longer than single men ….. and married women have a shorter life span than a single one!

Lili 5 years ago

Holy freaking…Carrots. Have you noticed how SERIOUSLY riled people get over religion? Trust God much? Now if a person were truly secure in their faith-would they really and truly need to argue someone into the ground about what they think?

This is the internet. People disagree. Quoting verse,getting angry, being sarcastic, saying what a happy (fill in the blanks) you are, so on and so forth doesn’t change the fact that this is Scary Mommy’s blog(yes it is-no matter what you think.)

So as long as she is happy with this-you can exist with whatever views you have but believe that if you take your negativity to a different level that’s what comment erasure and comment deletion are for. (Sort of like those parts of religious texts that have got rewritten so many times that even theologians question many aspects of them-constantly.)

Go Scary Mommy you are awesome. It is amazing what things will make people show their true colors.

Woo hoo! Let the games continue…I’m sure God is watching this particular blog right this second and making sure his faithful are making sure to do his/her/its job because, you know, building entire universes pales in comparison to having human beings on the grain of universal sand that is Earth do his/her/its job.

I mean God can create everything but you’d BETTER not agitate God or the human God slaves will bring it to ya decent :)

Lol yep I’m a heathen.

Go Scary!

Julie 5 years ago

Wow, now I AM scared!

GlowinGirl 5 years ago

subWow, I agree, we can’t yell people into Christianity. I understand people are offended, but I’m not sure the tone used by some here is the best way to explain that. I have seen other commenters kindly disagree. Unfortunately for everyone, both “sides” have some disgreeble “shouters.”

Just so you know, Jill did go leave a comment on that site, but it wasn’t unkind, and Courtney has also responded with grace.

You’re right. Blogs aren’t journalism sites reporting the news. They are written by people offering opinons. Some are just better at doing it in a respectful manner than others.

Betsy 5 years ago

Forget laugh or cry, I want to hire this lady to be MY wife– can you imagine? Awesome.

mrs ellenoy 5 years ago

Scary Mommy –

LOVE the fact that to post a comment here, you have to press the ‘submit’ button. Nicely done!

mrs ellenoy 5 years ago

If you spend any time on her blog (which I unfortunately did) you will see that for her and her ilk, divorce is not an option ever. Therefore, she is a BIG advocate for ‘helping’ the husband be the kind of husband God wants him to be.

Just exactly how does one do that when the husband is
a. beating you/the children
b. shooting up/drinking much of his salary

So I guess you just have to find the right Wife Formula to fix the more ‘difficult’ kind of husband….

Robin 5 years ago

I think we all forget that putting things online we can’t always have everyone nod their heads along and agree with everything. Don’t you think life is more interesting that we take the time to question and discuss? I didn’t see anything hurtful here, just someone looking at it from another point of view.

subWOW 5 years ago

Blogs are not meant to be neutral or objective. Facebook pages are not meant to be neutral or objective. We have to agree to disagree sometimes. Jill did NOT leave a comment over on that website (at least the last time I checked). The fact is somebody went over to the other post and alerted people there that that post is being talked about here. (Wow, that sounded like I was describing high school, didn’t it?) The fact is you decided to come over and take a look and be offended. It is really tempting for me personally to leave comments all over the Internet on conservative websites mocking them, criticizing them, but I refrain myself every time, because it would be like if I insist on watching Glenn Beck to get myself all riled up spitting blood. Better just walk away. I have read one blog post referring to mine in a negative light with insulting comments (yeah, I am not bragging ok? “Just ONE?” I know I am but a krill in this big pond and oh yeah Trackback is a bitch), I wanted to say something, to defend myself, to prove them wrong, but I walked away.

You can’t argue someone into changing their minds, esp. in the matters of faith/religion, and esp. when all this is based on “believing in Jesus/God” as that very nice lady said in her latest post welcoming new readers. Did you really think you would be able to change minds, to convert people into “True Christianity” that you subscribe to, by coming over here and yelling at people?

p.s. Actually I kind of wish it could work this way: imagine the lives that could have been saved from the Crusades and the Spanish Inquisition. Let’s just try to talk the other side into changing their minds!

p.s.s. You were so right when you said, “Heaven forbid that we might be right.” That is why I am agnostic. I’ve got it all covered. Booyah!

p.m.s. Jill I am so sorry for coming back over & over again. I just discovered that being a troll is fun, no wonder people do it all the time! 5 years ago

I don’t trust women who have no art on the walls of their house. Oh, and I only fast for my hips, not my husband. Oooh! She used the word “drunkard”. Wow.

GlowinGirl 5 years ago

Bruna, I think you’re right in that Scary Mommy was poking fun at herself just as much as at Courtney. She’s good at that, which is what I appreciate.

I really don’t think her post was nearly as offensive as some of the comments. I think we could agree that many of them were bashing and mean-spririted. But you’re right — extending grace is part of being a Christian. And in a perfect life we could disagree amicably without hurting feelings. I am a follower of Christ, but I have many friends that aren’t. We remain respectful of our differing beliefs, and that respect makes all the difference. Courtney showed respect in a recent post, and I admire that.

I think some have the gift of stating what they believe and being able to debate without being condescending. Some don’t, unfortunately. That’s why it gets so messy.

Jack 5 years ago

how come the man gets to be the leader?

The POP, power of the penis. It is magical.

Jack 5 years ago

Noah, Noah, Noah-

You’re a rookie at this marriage game. Trust me in 20 years you’ll appreciate a woman who knows how to submit. Really, after a while all of the craziness these wacky broads bring into our lives gets a little bit old.

Far better to bag a skirt who knows her place and keeps her opinion to herself. Now if you’ll excuse me I am ready for my evening servicing.

Maureen 5 years ago

“IT saddens me that such mob thought would go along with your ill informed justification of your bashing. I mean would you like someone to come here and judge your beliefs from 1 post concerning just a snippet of what your life is?? I would hope not. It is sad and disheartening that you would choose to do such a mean nd spiteful thing to someone who said or did NOTHING to you. Bully much??”

Ironic much? 😉

I know you feel personally attacked. Or, that you feel like you’re defending yourself or your religion. But, really, it’s OK for people to talk about ideas that are presented on public blogs. That’s what they’re there for.

How would any of us ever come to an understanding with people in the world who think differently than we do (and, when it comes down to it, every single person thinks differently than every single other person in the world), if we didn’t ever take the time to communicate with each other and about ideas?

Jonah 5 years ago

Oh, I should ask my wife to see this video! What a mess!

Evonne @ All You Need is Love 5 years ago

KDavison- Laughter is great for the soul. The only “assumption” I am making is that you are making it sound like the life I lead is the wrong one because I’m not completely committed to God and the Bible.

I’m not mocking this challenge. If this is what a woman believes will make her a better wife, who am I to stop her? I just know that it is not for me and I am ok with that.

Bruna 5 years ago

She didn’t mean to bully or offend ANYONE. She just has a GREAT sense of humor (specially when dealing with the difficulties of life, marriage, raising children, you know – SENSE OF HUMOR?), which is apparently what’s lacking here…… ¬¬

Really, I mean it, I am 100% SURE she was making fun of /herself/ at first place. As she always does. You should definitely (at least) be able to *forgive* that, at the bottom of your /christianity/, shouldn’t you? Well anyways – like you said it yourself, “so what if you don’t agree”…

Live light.

mom, interrupted 5 years ago

Is this for real?

Way to stir it up, Scary Mommy! I love it!

Angel 5 years ago

I don’t know what is sadder. The fact that you choose to act like a 2 yr old having a fit over something that you didn’t even have to look into or the number of people who have jumped on your bashing bandwagon. So what if you don’t agree. Did she ASK you if you agreed, ummm NOT. She specifically said this would not be for everyone. I think what makes it worse is you are basing YOUR bashing off of YOUR idea of what submission is about when the true definition of biblical submission is a far cry from what secular society and individuals like you would have people to believe. IT saddens me that such mob thought would go along with your ill informed justification of your bashing. I mean would you like someone to come here and judge your beliefs from 1 post concerning just a snippet of what your life is?? I would hope not. It is sad and disheartening that you would choose to do such a mean nd spiteful thing to someone who said or did NOTHING to you. Bully much??
I can only hope you enjoy this moment of fame you got from your silly rant and make an adult decision to realize we are not all going to see things the same way and that is the difference between you and Courtney and all of us choosing to do the challenge. Instead of running off at the mouth about something we may not understand to make another person’s idea look idiotic we admit we may not understand it all and may not agree with it all but we wish them luck in their endeavors. But of course you would have to understand the concept of TRUE Christianity and not religion. AS well as the true definition of marital submission which has nothing to do with control but everything to do with respect and honor within the confines of the relationship. It occurs in BOTH parties we submit ourselves ONE TO ANOTHER , you know like Jesus did when he washed the feet of his disciples or when he gave himself up to the cross. But again you wouldn’t understand that either cause apparently you don’t and can’t accept anything that seems different or off the norm from YOUR perception. Heaven forbid that we might be right. But again, that might make you have to STUDY and investigate and leaping to conclusions, throwing daggers of hate and slapping labels on others seems to be a great hobby for you. Maybe one day you will tire of it.. I can only hope soon.

GlowinGirl 5 years ago

That is beautiful. Mutual serving, mutual giving . . . yielding, surrendering, loving. That’s marriage.

Natalie 5 years ago

During our ceremony, our priest made a beautiful point when he advised us to start each day asking each other and ourselves, how may I serve you today? Not just me, not just him, but each other. I am here for him, and he for me, and no matter what else happens, together we must be.

There, it even rhymes.

Cranky Sarah 5 years ago

I’ve been working on a post called (something like) Why the Golden Rule is Crap
in the way it applies to my marriage, so this is very timely for me.
I’ve heard of this theory before and believe me, it is FAR bigger than the 127 people she has signed up on her blog. Some of the “pushers” of this line of thinking even say that abused women should subscribe to these rules – that it is their duty to be subservient to their husbands no matter what. (not that this particular woman does).
You were far from mean because even though I know you often use sarcasm, I didn’t know you weren’t seriously subscribing to this until I got to comment 13.
I’m sure there is a small percentage of women who could benefit from this challenge. Ones with a husband who put 100% into their work, family and marriage, but she has found herself too busy or tired to be particularly nice to him. Or if their husband used to put 100% in but now seems depressed &/or dejected. Sure, her marriage would benefit. But for the rest of us, it’s got to be equal effort at the same time. (though it would be nice if he went first!)

alexis 5 years ago

oh, diana. you. are. awesome.

nic @mybottlesup 5 years ago

i know, right?!?! after i saw your tweet about her site a few days ago, i noticed that button/badge thingy on her sidebar… the posts on there are UNREAL, and i don’t even have a daughter.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

Six, to be exact. Such a waste.

Loralee 5 years ago

Out of curiosity, how many emails have you gotten from people saying they are praying for you? ;P

LZ 5 years ago

Ok – that is nuts – my husband would think I did something wrong if I started treating him this way. And obedient? People, that’s a bad thing. Some here say that one can be obedient and still have a voice and be a partner? Not really. If you’re truly obedient, and your ‘partner’ disagrees with you, the very definition of obedient means you lose.
I have to agree to some extent that if this works for this woman – great. They probably do have a happy home if she is so eager to please him. Good for them. Putting these thoughts online means it’s ok to voice an opinion against them. You are asking for it, sharing this with people in 2010.

ThePeachy1 5 years ago

wow just wow. I can not even take the time to read the comments on here cause uhm yeah no… Ok so I went to a “certain” un named denominational church” and the men went to “mens church” and the women went to ladies group where every sunday we learned how to be better wives and please our husbands more. I tried to take it all in. Then I asked my husband what they did in their Mens church assuming they learned how to be better husbands and he said they talked about god and sports. so yeah 15 years later, we are still best friends and part of that is just taking each other for what we are and laughing about that old church.

chris 5 years ago

i am a lesbian who is in a 10 year partnership of equal-mutual-treatment of each other.. i believe in jesus, and i really think that unless the respect and pampering is mutual, someone will always be left out in the cold. mutuality is waaaaay better than one sided effort.

let’s not judge. let’s love one another. and accept everyone for whom they are.

that’s jesus’s REAL teaching.



FFC 5 years ago

WOW- I think I love you, not as much as my husband of 20 years, but pretty sure I love you.

Tiffany 5 years ago

if i served my husband dinner three times a week he’d think i was trying to kill him

Robin 5 years ago

I’ve decided to take the challenge on in my own way. heh.

Maureen 5 years ago

It’s not a selfless act of kindness if you’re doing it in the hopes that it will make you a good wife, get him to behave better towards you, get him to help you more around the house, keep him from cheating or fix your marriage in any way.

I do agree with you that if you love a person, you will want to do things that make them happy. You’ll feel joy in seeing them happy like that. These things done out of selfless love are a joy to do, not a challenge, a dare, a sacrifice or an exercise. They should be done from a place of confidence in your own life, though, not because you’re trying to fix something or manipulate anyone, but because you simply want to see that person you love feeling good.

GlowinGirl 5 years ago

Absolutely nothing is wrong with it, as far as I can see. :)

I do know that I personally get turned off by how-to lists, and that sites where that is the focus aren’t my cup of tea. But I don’t see anything wrong with it. That isn’t what I was implying.

Diana @Hormonal Imbalances 5 years ago

*sigh* Beth Moore anyone?

I’m a Christian, raised by a pastor in a Christian home. This video grates on my nerves because while I understand the concept of becoming a better person to strengthen your relationship (whether it be gay or straight, or as a parent, sibling, or spouse) this lady rubs me the wrong way.

To me, it’s another well off, rich, white woman who thinks somehow she is qualified to let other women know how to be a “helper” to their husband. She makes some valid points – the concept at it’s core is correct. But to fast? To clip coupons? To cook dinner? What is this – the 30’s?

What about a workshop that teaches women to stand next to their husband in a time of crisis – to be likeminded in their lives together? What about helping us recognize a bad relationship and how to be strong enough to see what needs to be done – not to “be a different kind of wife for a drunkard”? What about being a strong woman when your husband isn’t the leader of the home, or the woman who’s husband is proud of her because she has a voice and a brain – not just because her coupons don’t have the white edging on the side when she clips them?

I’ve never gotten into this type of leadership from one of these women. Why are they all in huge, immaculate homes preaching to us about how to live? Where is the leadership from a woman who goes to help people in 3rd world countries and goes on the road to talk about it? That works with her husband to unite couples and teach them to be partners?

I don’t know – but I am not interested in the type of life being sold here. Not by her anyway.

Royalbird 5 years ago

I think this is great. It goes along with “The Love Dare”, which is a book I’ve been reading and using to try and improve my marriage. The only person that I can improve is myself and it’s amazing how when I do these selfless acts of kindness for my husband in love, how much better he behaves toward me and how much more willing he is to give me the help I need around the house. It’s just ways of showing your husband you appreciate him. If you love someone as much as you should love your husbands, why wouldn’t you be willing to do this?

Royalbird 5 years ago

Um, Jesus does want our husbands to treat us the same way. How we treat each other in life isn’t reliant only on how others treat us. No matter how someone else treats you, you are expected to treat them right. Doing service for your husband and caring for him is not being a doormat. And actually, I doubt your husband would fall over and die. He might be shocked, but he would probably be pleased. Come on, anybody would be pleased if they were served in this way. It would only make you want to do more for them if they did this for you, right? I can’t believe the stupidity on this forum!

Missy 5 years ago

Well said Joy.

Courtney’s readers are women!
Why would she post something on her blog geared towards men?
If she did and I showed it to my husband and told him “here honey, I think you should do what she says” he would laugh at me.

In fact, by Courtney posting this on her blog, she is telling us women to take charge and make our own choices. Here is what she is doing, you can choose to do the same for your own spouse.

Missy 5 years ago

Ditto to Julie and Maureen.
I have been reading Jill’s blog since the beginning. Just because I don’t always agree with her doesn’t mean I cannot find her funny.

And Christians can’t be funny or snarky?? Really?? Check out Anita Renfroe and Tim Hawkins.

Why does everyone picture a Christian as a boring, bible thumping, hateful person? I don’t get the stereotype.

Maureen 5 years ago

People cheat because they want to have sex or relationships with other people who are not their partners.

Even if their partner spoils them and submits to them, cooks for them, cleans for them, offers them sex in whatever way they want it, etc… If they don’t respect their partner & their relationship with that partner, they will want to cheat. It’s about the person doing the cheating & the choices that they make in their life – not about anyone else.

Missy 5 years ago

I have a lot of things that I do for me.
I read. I sew. I scrapbook.
I love gardening.
I have pampering days for myself.
I have coffee dates with friends.


Missy 5 years ago

I agree Julie. I may be obedient to my husband, but I do not worship anyone except GOD.

Missy 5 years ago

Then replace the word obedient with respect. Because that is what it means.

I am not on a leash. I am a partner with my husband.
I am free to make my own choices and to voice my opinion.

Missy 5 years ago

I also said above that I did not agree with everything she said in that video. I do think she is taking it to the extreme. I do, however, believe that as a wife, I am to be respectful and obedient to my husband.

My husband likes to have my input and opinions as well. I am not a slave. I am not his child. He doesn’t rule over me. I am not a door mat.

We have arguments and we have disagreements. For those, I am thankful for grace.

The actual obedience that a wife shows a husband is taken out of context from the bible. I am sure that I am obedient to my husband in the same ways as most non-believers. It is just a different word for it.

FWIW, I do not worship anyone but GOD.

FFC 5 years ago

how come the man gets to be the leader? If it is a partnership there in NOT 1 leader- it seems like they think it is a partnership until the man puts his foot down- since he is the leader and decides what “his” vision for the family is- that does not sound like a partnership

Maureen 5 years ago

I don’t have a problem with scary mommy’s post -or- with people offering countering opinions here in the comments.

If we all avoided thinking about and talking about things that we didn’t agree with, we’d never grow, change or understand each other.

Missy 5 years ago

I didn’t say you have to do exactly what I believe. You are free to make your own choices, just as I am.
Just as it is your right to believe that I am crazy for what I believe, it is my right to believe that you are going to Hell because Jesus is not your savior.

Missy 5 years ago

By accepting Jesus Christ as my savior, I vow to be obedient to Him. To be obedient to him, I need to be obedient to the laws in the NT. Serving your husband is a part of that.

Missy 5 years ago

However, this blog is geared towards women. So of course the content would be for Christian women. We know it is a 2 way street. We know that the men have their part in it too. But this is about US doing OUR part.

Maureen 5 years ago

Actually, living with the knowledge that, as far as we know, this turn here on the planet may very well be all that we’ve got, makes it all the more important to find joy here, make here wonderful while we’re here, love the people in front of you now, because that might be all that you’ve got.

This world, right here… It’s one hell of a paradise, if you take the time to notice it :-)

Missy 5 years ago

I have to say it again, submitting and being obedient to your husband does not make you a door mat. It does not mean you are not his partner or that you don’t get an opinion about things in the home.
Obedience and submission does not mean the same thing to a believer as a non-believer portrays it as.
You are not under his thumb. You do not have to bow down to him. All it is about is giving your husband the respect as the leader of the home.
No one has said that there is not anything expected from the husbands. They do not get off scott free while the woman has to do all the work. It is a partnership. Each has their “job.” The husband is supposed to love his wife as Christ loved the church.
It is a partnership. One based out of mutual love and respect. Not one nor the other is supposed to be the scapegoat or the slave.

Amber 5 years ago

OMG this thread wins the whole thing!

Maureen 5 years ago

While I do agree that unselfishness is the basis of a life well lived, I’m not sure that I see these challenges as ‘unselfishness’. They seem to be presented as something a person should do in order to reap a reward (either from their spouse or from their God).

Instead of “Post wonderful things about your husband, then show it to him, in order to have a good marriage”, I, personally, would see an unselfishness in “Post wonderful things about your husband, then show it to him, because it will bring him joy and, bringing him joy will make you feel good, because you love him”

For me, that would be more of a exercise in living unselfishly.

PreggersStepMOM 5 years ago

Well, ma’am.
I am a christian, because I believe in the love and salvation of Jesus Christ.
So, I will remind you of a few oversights your missing out on here.
Jesus loved ALL, even those who did not follow him.
Who the hell do you think you are to tell anyone what the ONLY path to salvation is?
Need I re-state the Jesus was a JEW (gasp, choke, gasp)
So please inform him on “judgement day” that you were un accepting of ANY other religion, even the one he grew up in, and you can shout your answer to me on the other side of the veil.
GOD (I’m talking the Father here) gave us all the freedom of choice, EVE CHOSE TO COMMIT THE ORIGINAL SIN, Jesus chose not to sin, and a whole bunch of idiots have CHOSEN to slaughter millions of people in HIS name.
In conclusion (You wouldn’t know it now, but I use to be a genius)
Jesus said Love uncoditonally, YOU ARE NOT.
Jesus taught acceptance and forgiveness, YOU ARE NOT DOING THIS EITHER.
and most importantly
JESUS LOVED ALL, even those that crucified him. Who do you think you are to judge these women? IN HIS NAME?

If you want to attack the smart, amazing, funny as hell women on this site, do it for yourself and quit throwing around being a Christian, because if that’s what YOU claim to be I am somthing else entirely.
It’s the amazing thing called block this website, which is an option on most browsers, try it out.

PreggersStepMOM 5 years ago

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
I am seriously thinking of re-naming my religous status to something else because of all the “Christians” commenting here. That seem to think that after this long, the bible is still the EXACT word it was oh so many years ago.
Thank God for history buffs

alexis 5 years ago

actually, the word used in the bible is “helpmeet” and while this word has sometimes been translated to mean helper, another translation is “partner” (like you said) who is “meet” or suitable, for adam. god was creating a suitable and equal partner for adam, one who would be by his side as his companion. not just his helper. after all, adam would still be in the garden of eden all by his lonesome if it hadn’t been for eve. if you ask me, he was the one helping her.

From Belgium 5 years ago

What Bible are you talking about? Because you know that the Bible is a compositions of text edited between 12 to 2 thouseand BC. Right? That he original texts where written in Hebrew and Arameic? Then translated into Greek and then into Latin?
When ancient scribes copied earlier books, they wrote notes on the margins of the page (marginal glosses) to correct their text—especially if a scribe accidentally omitted a word or line—and to comment about the text. When later scribes were copying the copy, they were sometimes uncertain if a note was intended to be included as part of the text. Over time, different regions evolved different versions, each with its own assemblage of omissions and additions. So the concept of ‘the original word of God’ is not correct.
The standardized Bible is a fairly recent development (the arrival of the printing press helped a lot). And even now there are different versions (Lutheran, King James, Roman Catholic,…)
Sorry, about this serious intrusion ladies, years behind a desk have not yet transformed this once enthousiastic history student.

KDavison 5 years ago

@ FFC- In the bible, God says that he created women to be “helpers” to our husbands. If I am right, helper has a bit of a different meaning than servant. If you keep up with Courtney’s blog, you know that she mentions this several times. I have read back several comments and see alot of “my marriage is a partnership” and it is! Courtney is speaking from a woman’s perspective. Perhaps, we can try to find and man’s Godly perspective on his role in marriage? You can’t deny that it would be an interesting read! :)

@ Evonne- Thank You! A sense of humor is what makes my world go ’round :) Laughter is such a blessing! Don’t you feel better after a really good belly laugh ? :) I’m sorry you are making these assumptions (“my life will suck and I’m going to hell. Oh, well.”) There is soo much more hope than this! Again, I am not advocating the challenge to anyone. That is a very personal commitment. I’m just advocating the cause. I thinks it’s a good one, that many woman could draw from. I’m praying for you Evonne :)

No Princesses Here 5 years ago

A) My marriage works (well) because it’s an equal partnership. My husband married me because I am sooooo NOT the Stepford type. I’m fairly certain that participating in such a challenge might actually lead to divorce for us. At the very least, my husband would be creeped out.

B) If you didn’t discuss the direction you wanted your life to go in before you got married, and don’t have regular conversations making sure you’re still on the same page, you’re already screwed. Just sayin’.

C) This challenge makes me understand nuns.

Amie 5 years ago

Unless you speak Hebrew and Koine Greek, you only get the interpretation that others have given you 😉

Evonne @ All You Need is Love 5 years ago

These comments are quite amusing!

I guess by not taking this challenge, my life will suck and I’m going to hell. Oh, well.

FFC 5 years ago

Please don’t pray for me, pray that these women’s daughters will see that they are put on earth to be so much MORE than subservient to MEN- that’s what you need to pray for!

Elle 5 years ago

Can I just say that “curdled my ass” has got to be the most hilarious thing I’ve read in a while? Cracks me the F up!

KDavison 5 years ago

Sorry you feel that way Sara. Your blog is really cute though, I love the little kitchen! Your photography is neat to. :)

Sara — The Football Wife 5 years ago

I smell bullshit… *wink*wink*

KDavison 5 years ago

I am truly praying for the group of women that convene here on this site. If the group of you would open your minds, look past the anxious fears and hurts that your past has afforded you, covering your heart in assumptions and sarcasm, you would see that “it” is just this simple. The bible, word for word, is the ONLY WAY. There are no “interpretations”. God told us the way that life is to be. The ONLY WAY. It is hard, it may seem frivolous, but the love, guidance and everlasting promise from God is right in front of you! You only have to shun these worldly views and make up your own minds. Do not let the world influence the purity by which you really can love God or your husbands. It is just that simple. Courtney is an amazing woman. She is well spoken, educated and she is not trying to impart her views on you, after all, it was some of you who were visiting her site. Curious, I guess? Women seeking to grow in their marriages, draw from the love and partnership that God intended when creating man and woman can only benefit themselves and their familes. To understand why this personal challenge is under public scrutiny is impossible. Take the challenge or don’t. Improve your life or don’t. Love God or don’t. In the end, it’s your judgement day and you heart. Again, I am praying for you all as sisters in Christ. :)

Sky 5 years ago

I read this just after I chewed my husband’s ass. Oh yes, I did. There may or may not have been some F-Bombs in there too. Oh, who am I kidding, I said the f-word…a lot.

He know’s I’m the HBIC (Head Bitch In Charge).

S Club Mama 5 years ago

I wanted to share with you all a reply post that may help clear up some of the controversy associated with this challenge.

I also thought that it’s rather funny that this challenge via the internet has sparked such a debate. Wonder how you would feel about Dr. Laura’s “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands.”

Christy 5 years ago

What on earth is wrong with learning to take care of the home?

Christy 5 years ago

I am relieved to hear that you did not mean it to be vicious. I think Courtney is a role model for us all, whether we recognize it or not.

You will be in my prayers.

Robin 5 years ago

Yes Erin that is exactly how I read it, thanks for putting it in the right words. To me, what she said, was not an equal relationship but that’s just in my book.

To all the angry commenters: We all, including you, have a right to our opinions and that is all that is going on on this blog.

S Club Mama 5 years ago

But it’s not NOT about a partnership. But don’t partners serve one another? I have a partnership with my husband but sometimes it is about him and sometimes it is about me humbling myself to do things for him. Because he does a HECK of a lot for me already. Give and take, take and give.

S Club Mama 5 years ago

Set us back generations? To what? When the divorce rate was lower? Gosh – how antiquated that would be!

Queen Momma 5 years ago

I sense a little bit of sarcasm, no….. just a little bit!!! 😉
I’ll put it this way, I’m as committed to it as you are!!
Here’s to our happy husbands, after all, what’s more important…….

running in alabama 5 years ago

Ack! I mean you’re…(I did go to school a while back)

running in alabama 5 years ago

After reading this, my hubby said…”I was smart enough to to make sure you were the wife for me before I proposed, I don’t need you to work on it…now, whats for dinner?” I said…”Your grilling chicken tonight.” He said…”Sweet!”

running in alabama 5 years ago


Scary Mommy 5 years ago

Oh, totally! Those pelicans’ are such assholes! Can we blame the Holocaust on them, too?

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

Absolutely the comments. 100%.

Cyndi 5 years ago

No, I’m not Rick Perry. I don’t believe I have magical powers to control other people either. And if God is punishing the ocean for greed….nice guy… sign me up for servitude.

Cyndi 5 years ago

Dude, I am so screwed. I drink socially AND play restaurant city AND have even been known to be the lead singer on Rock Band while drinking socially. I didn’t realize how much of a sinner I was! Off to church to get saved by someone who molests little boys….

Helen 5 years ago

Well, I joined the challenge.

I have learned early that marriage should not be 50/50 – marriage has to be 100/100. If I give my 100% to the love of my life – I don’t have to worry. Men cheat and are not present because we do not fulfill their needs.

Please don’t allow naysayers to discourage you from doing what is right for your marriage!!!

From Belgium 5 years ago

I do not know what is better : the post or the comments…

scrappysue 5 years ago

i clicked X after she quoted the bible the 2nd time. i’ve been married 25 years and i think i’m doing ok

subWOW 5 years ago

Nope. It’s the pelicans’ fault. Ever see how they gobble up all the fish in one big mouthful? Yup. Not just greed, gluttony too.

stephy 5 years ago


Kelly B(elly) 5 years ago

And “I” didn’t use Christ, the original blogger did.

Kelly B(elly) 5 years ago

Ok, well, Ephesians 5 talks all about it, especially the part where it says “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church.” Sounds to me like that’s exactly what is being asked of husbands, that they also “serve” us. It’s not supposed to be a master-servant relationship. It’s supposed to be reciprocal. And Prob 31 isn’t about a wife being a servant/doormat, it’s about her being self sufficient, and resourceful, and contributing to her household. You know, in an equal sort of way. Yes, the husband is to be the “leader” (because a dog with 2 heads would have a hard time deciding which way to go) but the “helper,” or “lifesaver, sustainer” as is the better translation, is right there along side him. My husband couldn’t get dressed if it wasn’t for me. Maybe your husbands don’t need you, but in my relationship, we need, and support, each other. And frankly, I’m glad not to have to bear the burden of having everything on my shoulders.

PreggersStepMOM 5 years ago

Lordy Lordy Lordy!
Ladies, Ladies!
I am a christian and some of you make me a bit embaressed to say that. LOVE EACH OTHER. We’re all different we don’t live in Stepford. I so ejoy this site, and the comments well, in my advance stadge of preggers, almost literally make me wet my pants.
Someone posted what are Christians doing reading this blog, my reply
Even Jesus could appreciate a good joke!

Bruna 5 years ago

Neeehhh that wasn’t bad at all girl. It was funny. Of COURSE you didn’t mean to make her look ridiculous or anything. It was a joke, based on smth you saw and didn’t really connect with. What’s the bad in that? I’d even say you were making fun of yourself instead, for not being *that* devoted! Ahhhh come on… It was funny. And not disrespectful, or anything.

Bruna 5 years ago

So, I went to check on that “Raising Homemakers” site… Maaaan, I still don’t know how I feel about it – “frightening” sounds like a good word to sume it up – but it’s kind of the same as I felt reading this whole “challenge” thing here: I don’t think it matters if you’re christian, catholic, atheist, buddist, muslim, WHATEVER, to me it will always be about sharing, respecting one another, growing TOGETHER, as a couple and a family, and never EVER just submitting yourself to anything/anyone when the other part doesn’t do the exact same. I always wanna please my husband in every way, but that’s also because he loves me so much that he acts the same way toards me!

And I thought, when I went to “Raising Homemakers”, I’d find more then just “how to turn your DAUGHTERS into perfect housewives”. I’m sorry, this BUGS me like sh*t! Of course I like to cook, I am glad I can take care of my house, family and everything, but the PLANET where me and my husband come from, home duties are for both parts (and my family is italian!). You should see how much my dad helps at home. He’s not usually the one vacuum cleaning (they have maids and so, but I bet ya he would do it, if needed) but he cooks, he does the dishes, he always helps keeping things in place, he is always doing smth around his house. I grew up seeing that. And my husband, who is danish, he was raised to be ‘self suficient’, to be a MAN, to know how to live by himself, to help his wife, and as much as I want my daughter to be a good housewife, I hope she finds a man like her father and mine, who make sure their wifes have all the support they can give them, at home. And I am raising my son to be just as supporting. He has his chores at home, too. He will be taught how to cook, clean, fix, share, respect, blablablah, the same way I saw my dad and now see my husband doing.

Grrrrrrr it really gets me that some people think “women” are the sole responsibles for all that cr*p, always. This is so 18th Century!

Bruna 5 years ago


Joy Forney 5 years ago

I appreciate your desire to note that this was not mean to be vicious. I totally get that. There are times that I myself have thought something sarcastic was funny and it turned out to be quite hurtful to the person it was directed at. I would just encourage you to see Courtney as a person, not someone or something to make fun of.

I agree with you, her husband must be one happy man! I think we could ALL use a Courtney, and the world could use lots more of them!! :)
Blessings to you today.

Mrs BC 5 years ago

First I laughed, then I cried, then I was seriously concerned for this lady’s mental health. But to be fair, I couldn’t watch the whole thing, so maybe I missed something important. Nice try, but obviously this isn’t about a mutually caring & sharing marriage.

Thanks for the laugh though!
Mrs BC

Noah 5 years ago

Those must have been some greedy-ass shrimp to deserve having so much oil poured on them.

Erin 5 years ago

I’ve finally figured it out!! This post has been bugging me all day, and I’ve already responded, but I’d like to respond again…

There are 2 major things that bug me about it:

1.) She’s advocating a parent/child relationsihp with your spouse: He dictates/leads, she follows…if it were the other way around where she dictates/leads and he follows, I’d have the EXACT same problem with it.

Do you want a parent/child relationship with your spouse? Or do you want a grown up relationship?

2.) There’s no spiritual CONNECTION advocated in this relationship which is totally ironic, right?: She talks about what she can do for him around the house, in the kitchen, in the bed…but she doesn’t talk about spending quality time WITH him and WITH the family. I think she did say “watch sports”, but that isn’t actually quality time in my book. Where’s the mental connection? The friendship? The fun? In my house, our number one rule is making sure we have fun as a family. If you do that, everything else will follow…

I DON’T want to be a hater. I think Courtney is a lovely person and I believe she thinks what she’s doing is right. I think she just doesn’t have all of the pieces to a healthy grown up relationship. I wouldn’t care if she was just talking about herself, but I’m saddened that she’s trying to get other women to follow her down this path.

And one last thing: If she has time to take a bubble bath like in the main pic on her site, well then she has to be the most organized person on the planet. Or, she doesn’t sleep!

warmchocmilk 5 years ago

OmG I am so not a “good wife”. My poor hubby. 😉

Bruna 5 years ago

Haha. 😛

(what’s life without a bit of sarcasm anyway?) 😉

Bruna 5 years ago

Thanks Julie! :)

PreggersStepMOM 5 years ago

Ok, I have no clue if that was thinly veiled sarcasm and I missed it. but……….
Do they have a partner site on being a better husband/spouse/partner? I have been in seveal different power’s in my current relationship, I was in charge, he was in charge (neither worked for $hi+) with the non in charge person being a doormatt basically. now we work together, pretty well honestly.
I did ask my guy some of these, for the “fulfilling his whatever” the response I got was (HE WAS JOKING, i think/hope)
-blow job or butt sex
-me being quiet for 24 straight hours
-blow job or butt sex

That’s it, nothing extreme, right?
I make him meals he enjoys nightly, I have a higher sex drive so that is no issue, I pray for my entire family every day and he makes requests frequently.
I guess to me being nice (as much as humanly possible, that is not all day every day) to your significant other is part of being in a relationship. But this web site made me kinda sad, this is not a cure all, and it doesn’t represent all men, especially mine.
Just my opinion, I guess.

GlowinGirl 5 years ago

You know, I haven’t seen a site that does that either, but I have seen a few books.

I will say, June, without looking at this site, that some of those are a bit over the top for me, and I avoid them. I try to find balance in these things. I want my daughter and sons to be loving, strong people that have healthy marriages some day. It’s found in mutual submission, I believe.

I’m off to bed. No floors for me today! 😉

June Freaking Cleaver 5 years ago

You really should check out this site, too…

Unfortunately, I have not been able to find the companion site that teaches boys how to be gracious and loving heads of the household, so the wife can feel safe enough to dedicate her life to serving her God, her family and her home and community.

Hell, I think I’ll scrub a floor or two now.

GlowinGirl 5 years ago

I posted this over at the BlogFrog discussion about this post:

You know, my husband came home last night and said, “I don’t know what your dreams are. You’ve put aside everything for my career (4 moves), my MBA and my goals. I want to work on fulfulling yours, and I want to talk about it this weekend when we go out so you have time to think about it.” I was a bit surprised, but also thankful.

Why did he ask? Because of a book he was reading . . . written by a Christian. There is an idea in the NT of mutual submission, and I bet Courtney would agree with it. I think she’s just trying to speak to the women (her target audience). The NT actually says to submit to one another, and it is speaking to men and women. In other words, ask your partner how you can love him/her better. I’m thankful for when my husband reaches out to me, and I know I should do more of that for him

Just thought I’d share that there are Christain books out there for guys encouraging them to love their wives. 😉

June Freaking Cleaver 5 years ago

Ok, where’s the site where the men can learn what WIVES need?

Marriage ain’t 50/50 – it’s 100/100 – and from this video I see only the wife doing her 100, while the husband reaps all the benefits and can still be the drug using, video game playing drunkard ya married in the first place.

And I bet this woman’s husband walks around with the biggest SHEAT-EATIN’ GRIN – “wow, look what I can get my wife to do FOR ME!

Anna 5 years ago

Agreed. :-)

GlowinGirl 5 years ago

I agree with much of what Joy said.

I haven’t watched the video, but I have read Courtney’s posts before. She has a pretty large following of women (not men). And just as Joy mentioned, most of us as bloggers target the people that read us. So of course, she’s talking about women loving their husbands.

Have you heard of The Dating Divas? I love their blog because they focus on great ways to keep loving (and dating) your husband after you marry. I think that’s probably what Courtney is going for — ways to actively and intentionally love your husband. When I make my husband’s favorite meal, he notices. Occasionally, I’ll even ask him what he’d like for supper that week. I’ll admit I don’t always make it, but if I can, I do. Because he loves me so well, and I need to show it, you know?

While I’m not accepting the “challenge,” I think it’s definitely good to look for ways to show some extra love. I can get pretty apathetic at times.

I’ve read the comments and haven’t been surprised at those who disagree. I appreciate hearing different views, which is why I DON’T subscribe only to blogs of people that I see eye to eye with. What I am surprised by (although I’m not sure why) is how disrespectful and mean-spirited some of the comments are. I can disagree with Courtney or with Jill and still show some basic respect.

And I’m a bit surprised to discover that humor isn’t Christ-like (one of the comments). That was news to me because I know some hilarious people that love Jesus — they just aren’t hateful about their humor (and I’m not saying Jill was hateful, although a bit on the strong side this time). Still reading though. 😉

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

Regardless of whether or not she has male readers, the challenge was directed at women. It was not “here are some ideas for you and your spouse,” it was here is what YOU, as the wife can do. I think that’s antiquated and pretty frightening. And, it wasn’t just about Courtney choosing to live her life as she wants– she can do anything she wants– it’s that she’s encouraging impressionable women to do the same.

That said, I really did not mean this to turn into an attack on her. Her own words, applied to my life, simply struck me as funny. It was sarcastic, but not meant to be vicious.

I am sure that she and her husband are very happy. And, why wouldn’t he be? He’s got the best gig around. Frankly, I’m kind of jealous. I could use a Courtney.

Julie 5 years ago

Did she ACTUALLY say worship your husband? I missed that. Cuz if she did say that, that’s not cool.

Julie 5 years ago

Humor isn’t Christ-like? There’s a new one, at least for me…

I’m a Christian and have been reading ScaryMommy for at least 8 months or so? I think she’s fabulous, even if we don’t agree on everything and our lifestyles or belief systems are different. She’s a talented person, I enjoy her outlook and perspective and she’s real! She’s kind! She responds on Twitter!

I’m a Christian, She’s Jewish and that’s all really beside the point.

Sarah Mae 5 years ago

What Joy said. :)

Joy Forney 5 years ago

First off, I respect your right to express your own opinion, and I appreciate the opportunity to discuss this topic.
You mentioned in the comments that if the challenge was proposed for both man and woman you’d be on board and wouldn’t have found it necessary to write such an attacking post. But, do you really think that Courtney (the author) has many, if any, male readers? Why would she challenge men to do something like this when she has female readers?
I dare say that she would agree with you that a man should equally seek to love and serve his wife, but shouldn’t a man be leading a challenge like that with a male audience? Why attack Courtney for choosing to challenge the demographic that reads her blog?
Many of your commenters have shared similar sentiment, that it should be a shared thing, a mutual thing. Yes, I agree, and the dear sweet girl that you are attacking would also agree.
Kindness toward your spouse isn’t something that needs to be degraded or made fun of, it is something that we should all seek to do better at, man or woman.
And if I as a wife sit around and wait for my husband to do it first, maybe it will never happen. I am in charge of my own life and my own actions, and if I want to work at my marriage to make it better, it does NOT make me a brainless Stepford wife. It makes me a kind human being who wants to do something nice for the person I love. I applaud Courtney for her stand and her challenge, it is people like her that make the world a better place.
Blessings to you and all of your readers.

Julie 5 years ago


Julie 5 years ago

I’m with you Elle. There is a reason why it’s not our place to judge who goes where. The verse in the Bible that talks about homosexuals not inheriting the kingdom ALSO includes liars, gossips, thieves, and the likes. So, with that in mind, and knowing the things I’m guilty of in my own heart? Doesn’t look like I’m going there either. But His grace is sufficient, and He’s the one who gets to decide who receives it!

God calls us all to different ways of life, and part of being a Christian means that we follow where He leads. He’s leading the woman in question in this direction of complete servant hood to her husband. Who knows where it came from. Maybe she was a horrible wife before and treating him horribly and God convicted her. None of us knows! Maybe some of the other women have a struggle with even seeing their husbands as equals. You just don’t know where they’re coming from. I don’t have to make a conscience effort to submit to my husband, it just comes naturally. And yes, I know, “submit” is a scary word, but it’s not like I’m on a leash. It’s PART of the 2 way street everyone is talking about.

No, of course you’re not going to go to hell b/c you don’t agree with her (Jennifer), I never even once inferred that, nor thought it!!! Love your husband well! That’s what’s REALLY important about the whole thing. Love him well.

Kathleen 5 years ago

I saw that site recently too and had to comment on the authors post about not wanting to encourage her daughters to go to college. It was a bit frightening.

Bruna 5 years ago

Exactly, Suzanne. UnbeLIEVABLE! :/

Julie 5 years ago

I’ve been thinking that same thing, that if you’re both sitting around waiting for things to get better (key word: IF. I understand that there are marriages that just WORK, and that’s awesome!), nothing is going to change, so why not be the one to make the first move? Like I said before, what’s it going to hurt?

Bruna 5 years ago

Hahaha! I found this whole sex thing very funny. If she HAS to say yes, how can she say it’s not a burden? 😛 I never say no myself, but, uhm, that’s because I’m always into it, what can I do? Haha! Besides, our ‘needs’ match preety tight, so it’s never like one wants more then the other. Ah, c’mon. FREEDOM for women! :)

Julie 5 years ago


Julie 5 years ago

Oh yes. Absolutely. ‘Cuz that’s exactly the issue here.


Brandie 5 years ago

Pua, may I suggest you give them sex toys for their anniversary? Plastic genitalia must be on the anniversary gift list somewhere, right? (Or is that my wishful thinking talking again?)

Brandie 5 years ago

I think they called their bible study groups to check out it out.
Discussions will be held next Tuesday.

Bruna 5 years ago

You know, I went to her site/blog to check out on the “whole” context… I am a christian too and I think I do a good job as such, as well as being a wife – or so says my husband. He thanked me a couple of days ago, for being such a wonderful wife, for taking care of him, and our kid, and the house, and supporting him, and he said he’d never EVER want/need anyone else other then me in his life. He is SO sweet. And I DO ‘serve’ him (even tho I call it spoiling – isn’t it nice ti surprise your loved one with something he ADORES, every now and then?), but in our own way. Like many others said here, we SHARE the responsabilities and duties of a marriage. I’ve got more free timethen he does, cause I’m staying at home while he is working, but that doesn’t keep him from washing the dishes and helping with the Laundry and vacuum cleaning. He think’s it’s not fair that everything is on my shoulders, specially being 8 1/2 months pregnant.

That said: yes, I think that video is a BIT too much for ME. For us, my family. I don’t need to EXTRA devote him by taking a 2 month “challenge”. He sees a bit everyday, in me, that tells him I’m teh right one. She did have some other videos that were encouraging, supporting, nice, ok, but I don’t think that it is a general RULE what she has posted on this particular one. I lived with an alcoholic and that is NO F*ING JOKE. Hell NO, I’d never EVER *SERVE* a man like that. If not for my own sake, for my children, who don’t deserve THAT THING as a father. My 1st son never even KNEW what a father was, until I married my actual husband.

It’s about sharing. Not “one side submiting”.

Brandie 5 years ago

RRRuuuuFFF! RRRUUUUFFFF! *wagging tail*

Oh, sorry, the word “obedient” must have brought out the b*#%h in me.

Emily 5 years ago

I would totally be on board with this if it didn’t interfere with all my plans. but let me know how it turns out for ya. 😛

Candice 5 years ago

Eh, to each their own… but I have to say this actually made me laugh out loud. I read it to the hubby, at which point he leaned over to our newborn son and said, “Don’t you let anyone tell you that I lead anything here. Mommy leads it all.” lol

There is something to be said for prioritizing your spouse, though. I’d like to think the hubby and I actually take turns doing some of those things (cooking each other’s fave dinners, discussing OUR visions for our family, etc). I’m not into the submissive tone of the original, but again, to each their own.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

Just saw this and I laughed out loud. :)

Marinka 5 years ago

this is a great idea! Can’t wait to surprise Husbandrinka! Sign me up!

Tina@Send Chocolate Now 5 years ago

Oh. my. I am thinking the sports would be of a seckshual nature. (did I really just spell that inventively? I think I did).

Perfect post for satire. Sadly, women believe this stuff.

TwinHappyJen 5 years ago

While I made a joke comment earlier, I feel like I need to add: If this had been the kind of thing where both parties did these things for each other, I would have a much different outlook on it… but, while I might not consider myself a super-feminist, I’m enough of one that just watching that video made me want to gag.

I know there are differences between men and women, but a woman is not man’s best friend. That’s a dog’s job. And, I get extra offended at things like this now because, as a Mother to two beautiful twin girls, I would never want my daughters to feel like they were subservient to any man (or woman, for that matter). Anybody that wants to be with them in the future, better treat them like the princesses they are :-) (And yes, they should do the same for their partner… a successful relationship is where both parties feel loved, cared for and respected.)

And no, I don’t subscribe to any religion. I do have certain beliefs, though… one of those being that, everyone is free to believe what they want. But, if someone tries to use religion (any religion) to tell my daughters that they are not worth as much as men, or they’re not going to heaven if they don’t serve and follow their man, etc… then yes, I am going to have a problem with that. I find it to be a disgusting, offensive notion and I mock it to try and keep from vomiting…

Pua 5 years ago

I was always taught that being a Christian is about being loving and accepting, like Christ. It’s funny how some of them don’t live that way at all.

Pua 5 years ago

And does that include Farmville, because is so my MIL will be PISSED.

Christy 5 years ago

Perhaps the oil spill exists for a reason. A punishment for greed? Ever thought about that?

Cyndi 5 years ago

Unbelievable that you that you think you have control over another person when god himself does not. You are one powerful woman. Can you please clean up the oil spill? We would all appreciate that.

Christy 5 years ago

I fear you are right.

Christy 5 years ago

I believe I can control my husband by keeping him happy and satisfied, yes.

And, I would say there are other causes– drugs/alcohol, but I consider it my job to keep him from wanting those things as well.

TheKitchenWitch 5 years ago

What the FUCK? Who are these Stepfords?

Elle 5 years ago

Plus, make up sex is awesome.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

If it were a woman of any other faith expressing THESE views? Yes, I would take issue with them.

Elle 5 years ago

Hey Pua! It just ticks me off that some Christians–not all–but some, think that if you’re not doing exactly what they believe, that you’ve got an express ticket to hell. 😉 I wish that when that woman said that to my mother, that I was there to slap her smug face.

Pua 5 years ago

Wait…are you saying video games are a sin?? I just want to clear that up for my little mind and make sure I’m not reading this wrong.

Pua 5 years ago

They keep multiplying too….It’s a little strange.

Jennifer 5 years ago

Yeah, and she’s a Jew.

Totally, totally kidding. I love Scary Mommy and I’m a Christian.

angryworkingmom 5 years ago

HAHA! me too! I have a feeling (or at least in my case) there would be lots and lots of sexual favors listed..he wouldn’t give a damn about his favorite dinner or me rolling or not rolling my eyes 😉

Pua 5 years ago

Elle. I just fell in love with you a little bit.

Jennifer 5 years ago

But it doesn’t have anything to do with serving your husband. It has everything to do with accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior. Assuming that you are Christian of course.

Pua 5 years ago

My god would let me in by being a good person. Maybe that’s why I’m not a Christian.

Jennifer 5 years ago

I can with utmost certainty and it isn’t because I serve my husband.

Tess 5 years ago

Oh My Gosh- I didn’t know that you were joking at first and I was all like whaaaaaat?? This lady has got to have a screw loose. Please your drunken husband? OMG!!

Jennifer 5 years ago

Of course, and we could all move to Stepford too.

Cyndi 5 years ago

That’s an excellent question! When I come across blogs that are the exact opposite of my own beliefs, I leave. To each her own (as long as it’s ok with her husband of course) but a blog about christian beliefs would be of no interest to me.

Elle 5 years ago

But I AM a Christian! And no one’s ever told me to do these things. Ever. I just use common sense and know in my heart that I’m a good, honest person. I love my husband and he loves me. We’re partners and equal in this life we have together. And he’s HAPPY! He watched the video and said he’d never want me to act that way. He likes to have my input and my opinions. He appreciates it when I tell him how I feel, even if I have to be snarky or roll my eyes while doing it. We have passion in our marriage, even if that means having a knock down, drag out fight occasionally.

Cyndi 5 years ago

Yeah, obedient….no thanks. I am an adult with an adult partner. We do not obey each other or try to control each other.

Missy, I’m curious, what do you do for YOU that has nothing to do with serving anyone else?

Jennifer 5 years ago

I’m not surprised. Did we forget about the parents of the seven year old girls dance team? They got called all kinds of names.

Jennifer 5 years ago

I believe in Jesus, but I don’t believe in her philosophy. Does that mean I’m going to hell?

Elle 5 years ago

No, Missy. You really don’t know. It’s not your personal decision. God put us here to grow and evolve. He gave us conscious thought, the ability to learn and make choices. He never gave anyone the power to say who will and who won’t be welcome in the end.

But for you? I’m thrilled that you’ve found a way to make yourself and your husband happy. It’s not for me, but if you’re happy, I’m happy. 😀

Cynthia 5 years ago

The very words “obedient to your husband” curdled my ass, just a little bit. Just want you to realize that. Not all of us signed up to be leashed when we agreed to marry our PARTNERS. I sure as hell didn’t.

Heather 5 years ago

I love you, Jill. I really do and so this is hard for me to say. I hate conflict and normally avoid it completely but I have one question….

If this was a woman of any other faith expressing her views, would you have still written this post?

Sometimes I feel like us Christians get a really bad rap and it makes me sad. Why is it so awful that she wants to do something nice for her husband? She’s not saying you are a bad wife for not participating.

FFC 5 years ago

I agree, I am not holding him back form having sex 20 times a week- he can masturbate all day long if he wants to!- His response- I didn’t get married to jack -off

My response- waa-waa-waa- deal with it

Cynthia 5 years ago

I just want to know why a bunch of Christians are reading ScaryMommy in the first place, because it’s definitely one of the most hilariously snarky blogs I have ever come across…and I’ve come across a lot. AND I mean that as a compliment.
Doggone it, humor and sarcasm are not very Christ-like! What would Jesus do, after all? Tut tut young lady, you should be ashamed of yourself!

Annnnd cut.

Jennifer 5 years ago

A housekeeper, a hooker and a nanny. I love that line.

Missy 5 years ago

Being obedient to your husband does not mean you do not expect him to give you respect back. It does not mean you do not have self respect for yourself. It does not mean that you do not count or that your opinions and feelings do not count.

Backpacking Dad 5 years ago

Well hell, if you don’t like the crazies being ridiculed for choosing to believe crazy things, perhaps this essay on the real meaning of marriage in the New Testament will appeal to your more cerebral, measured, self. It’s fair and balanced and the crazies still come out looking like crazies.

Missy 5 years ago

Christy, you are fighting a losing battle. Non-believers just do not understand this area of being a Christian wife. They are going to twist it and turn it however they want in order to make us look like subservient doormats.

FFC 5 years ago

Think how much money I would save with 3 teenage boys if they FASTED once a week! You’re a fucking genius!

FFC 5 years ago

I let my husband have sex with me at LEAST once a week AND I pretend I am all into it and shit, after 20 years, this makes me an AWESOME wife.

FFC 5 years ago

I one up you- I’m an Atheist, born and raised!

Jennifer 5 years ago

I don’t think that is the kind of submission she is talking about Brittany. :)

Missy 5 years ago

“Don’t tell me who will and won’t, because you have no idea.”

Yes, we do know who will and will not. God tells how to get there in His word. It is written out right there for you.

Missy 5 years ago

Actually just being a good person and helping others and being a good mother does not get you into heaven. Read the bible. It tells you how to get there.

Cyndi 5 years ago

Sorry, I can’t get over this one.

So….you believe that you can control your husband’s behavior even though the god you serve cannot? You are more powerful than Him?

AND….anytime a man cheats on his wife, it is the wife’s fault for not properly serving her husband?

FFC 5 years ago

Hahaha! My son once did the universal hand gesture for cracking a whip and verbally went “whaaaa-paaaa”
Yeah that’s right, even his son’s know he is pussy whipped!

pussy power! that’s my motto-

Missy 5 years ago

Disagreeing is not the issue. My issue is the way the differing opinion was presented. There is definitely a more tactful way to present your different opinion rather then ridicule and sarcasm.

Elle 5 years ago

Oh here we go with the “I’m getting into Heaven and you’re not, neener neener” stuff. My relationship with God is personal and I would NEVER EVER in my time on this earth tell someone that because they didn’t do what I did, they wouldn’t be welcome in Heaven. When I was 11, my 13 year old brother died. Some Born Again woman told my mother that because we weren’t like her, he wouldn’t be welcomed into Heaven. Broke my mom’s heart even more, if that was possible. Don’t tell me who will and won’t, because you have no idea.

We weren’t put on this earth to serve men. We were put here to be good people with level heads–and to do good things. We were put here to be good human beings, not servants to men. Do I love my husband? Hell yes, I do. Does he love me? Yeah! Does he cheat on me? Never have and never will. It’s called TRUST. Not “I’ll kiss your ass so you don’t ever leave me.”

The way I look at it, God will sort it all out in the end.

Kathryn 5 years ago

If I gave my husband a choice of breakfast lunch and dinner and desert…He would want sex, sex, sex and sex. We are not slaves of men and Men are not rulers and we should all be created equal.. so its not what can I do for you.. its what can we do for eachother..

The other day my husband said ” I should be able to have sex with you when ever I want” and If I didn’t have a hand available I would have smacked him over the head. We are not PUPPETS and deserve to be treated with repect. And just for saying that he not geting shit for awhile!

A Vapid Blonde 5 years ago

It’s always the wifes fault, just add bacon and everything will be just fine.

There should be a ‘d’ on the end of that delivere…doh.

Kathryn 5 years ago

My husband would take me to the Dr. if I started the “program” you mention above. Very funny stuff. :-)

A Vapid Blonde 5 years ago

That having just delivere his brand new ferarri too.

Paige 5 years ago

My husband would laugh in my face if I even suggested any one of these options. Although truth be told I would be laughing just trying to sputter out these “suggestions”…. but then again he is a drunkard that refuses to go to church :) Wait, so am I!!!! Wheres my wine?

subWOW 5 years ago

Right. Vapid. Work it, girl! Make sure you don’t give your husband an excuse to stray otherwise if he cheats on you, you will only have yourself to blame.

Jen 5 years ago

The crap being the other post of course, not yours, yours is genius. xoxo

Jen 5 years ago

Ok so I was a little pressed for time so I didn’t watch the video and for like 2 minutes….I THOUGHT YOU WERE SERIOUS. I almost died…twice….

I should not read immediately after nap time, I was not functioning at full capacity. GAH. What a load of CRAP.

subWOW 5 years ago

You are right. I cannot say the same thing because I believe in reincarnation and I have no idea yet what I will be coming back as. If I continue to do good the way I have, I sure hope I get to come back as a husband with a submissive wife who gives me no excuse to stray (wink wink). I seriously am looking forward to living the high life. So excited!!!

angryworkingmom 5 years ago

Don’t use “Christ” in this one.. I’m a Christian too and last time I checked I’m not a better Christian because I make my husband his favorite dinner and serve it to him 3 nights this week.

If this were so, Jesus would want our husbands to treat us the same way..
I have the biggest issue with this being geared towards woman making their husbands better and happier and rainbows and sunshine.. What ever. I would have much preferred stepping out of BC time frames and references and just said hey respect each other, take time to love each other. But no, we get into “all woman are made to be helpers of the husbands”, blah, blah. My husband would fall over and die if I were that way. He is glad to have my help but as a partner. Come on, this is ridiculous… Proverbs 31 also has women spinning their on cloth..maybe we should go home and all do that too..

Pua 5 years ago

I hope you will be naked under an apron because I’m sure that is something else he would enjoy.

Erin 5 years ago

If my husband did this plan for me, I’d be SCARED! I’d think he’d gone insane and I’d try to get him committed. There is such a thing as TOO much. And I think worship should be used for God, Jesus, or you-fill-in-the-blank-with-a-perfect-being.

Our husbands are human. We are human. Our kids are human.

None of us should be worshipped or put on a pedestal, but we should be respected. Yes, even the kids. 😉

And respect is not only about BEING respected by others, it’s about SELF RESPECT. Which means WE count. Our opinions COUNT. Our feelings COUNT.

And, personally, if I was married to someone who worshipped me and disrespected his own worth in dererence to my own, I’d get a divorce. Because, WOW that’s a lot of pressure to be perfect!

Do nice things for your husband….YES! Will that help your marriage…YES! But, crossing the line into giving up your own self worth…NO!


Pua 5 years ago

I’m pretty sure any sort god that there may exist wouldn’t deny my entry into heaven because I didn’t “serve” “Him” or my husband. I’m pretty sure the top priority would be being a good person, helping others, and being a good mother. I don’t think me nagging my husband, rolling my eyes, etc, or not going to church will be that important in the end.

A Vapid Blonde 5 years ago

I am running right out and getting a pair of stripper shoes in which I will feed my husband bacon while he watches the Bruins win every cup and the Red Sox win every world series all day everyday….because THAT might be his perfect day with his perfect wife.

I was expecting this to be much more sarcastic. But never the less still spot on!

(also? none of what you wrote came off as mean, imho)

Cyndi 5 years ago

Not at all, it’s pretty great actually!

Cyndi 5 years ago

I’m happy for you that you find contentment but men cheat on women all the time who do everything they want them to do. Those reasons usually have nothing at all to do with what their wives do or do not provide for them.

Christy 5 years ago

Living with that sort of outlook on life must be hard.

FFC 5 years ago

good lord- I acutlyy would enjoy a few extra wives

1 to cook and clean
1 to have sex w my horny husband (the fat ugly one)
1 to go work and make me some money

and 1 for shit and giggles

Christy 5 years ago

Yes, I believe that to be true. I give my husband everything he wants and needs, so there is no reason for him ever to seek out intimacy or support outside of the home. That means cooking for him, cleaning for him, pleasuring him, bearing his children, supporting him etc. And, through those things, I find contentment.

Cyndi 5 years ago

Serving Him and your husband is what you were put on this earth to do? If so, more power to ya. It’s not for me.

I’m pretty sure I’m being scattered in the ocean when my time on earth is complete but I won’t be able to supervise that situation, since I’ll be dead and all. After that, I’ll be back as a more evolved human being. So yes, I do know where I’m going and I won’t be serving anyone now or then.

FFC 5 years ago

girl and you’re in Alabama (Florida here) we see some backward crap all the time.

Cyndi 5 years ago

Wait, let me get this straight……husbands only cheat because their wives give them reason to cheat? What reasons would those be exactly?

Backpacking Dad 5 years ago

But more importantly…welcome to the Internet. Did you find someone who disagrees with you? That’s weird. It’s pretty homogenous.

Backpacking Dad 5 years ago

Polygamy, by definition, isn’t straying.

FFC 5 years ago

No…their is a higher rate of divorce because women have OPTIONS now. They can make a living and be on their own, and it is socially acceptable. My grams was the 1st woman to obtain a Divorce in Bolivia, for that my Mom was kicked out of catholic school and had to go to boarding school in a whole other country, as they were ostraziced. Why did my Granma seek a divorce, let’s see, he was dating a 17 year old beauty queen. She had BALLS and money, she was lucky. I have been married for 20 years & bring the HUBS breakfast in bed every Sunday, I LOVE to do it. But I SUBMIT to no one and he never IMPOSES himself on me – it’s a partnership- If it isn’t he can hire a housekeeper, a hooker and a nanny, cause I’m OUT

Christy 5 years ago

A sin is a sin is a sin. It does not matter how big or small, in my eyes.

Christy 5 years ago

I did not participate in the challenge, but may start now. I love it. Trust me, there are more than 127 women out there with our belief systems. The world would be a better place if everyone had values such as ours.

Christy 5 years ago

I resent the implication that all religious people are polygamists. My husband has never strayed, for I give him no reason to.

Christy 5 years ago

Make fun all you want, ladies. Serving Him and my husband is what I was put on this earth to do. I know where I’m going when my time on earth is complete. Can any of you say the same?

Maria @BOREDmommy 5 years ago

That video needs to not exist – beyond painful to watch. I’m sorry but that is all kinds of crazy, and my husband agrees. Serving my husband? Excuse me while we laugh our asses off. Our marriage works because we ultimately love and respect each other, because we have fun together and because we both put in some damn effort. (Yeah, sex helps too – as do designer handbags). He knows who he married, and I know who I married, and we are each other’s priority. I’m not about to put him on some pedestal and I don’t want to be up there either thank you. Oh, and no complaining, nagging, eye-rolling, or criticizing? Yeah – that’s not going to happen. What a joke.

jodifur 5 years ago

It took me a couple of seconds to realize you were kidding. At first I was all, huh, what? But know all I have to say is thank g-d. We can be friends again.

Robin 5 years ago

Yes, yes and yes. Perfectly stated!

Backpacking Dad 5 years ago

My favourite meal is patriarchy and my vision for my family is “on vacation at the compound.”

Amber 5 years ago

Oops, that was SUPPORTED my husband’s vision. Not supposed.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

Oh, Nic, I just read that homemaker site. I have no words.

Amber 5 years ago

Wow. I feel like I’ve been transported back to the 1950s.

If I supposed my husband’s vision we’d be living on the streets. He’s not the best planner in the world…

Cyndi 5 years ago

The author of this nonsense is brilliant! She obviously got the flux capacitor to work and traveled back to 1930. YIKES. I had to laugh imagining myself even attempting this crap.

TwinHappyJen 5 years ago

Wow, my ovaries are just bursting with excitement :-p

sweetney 5 years ago

You capacity for sustained sarcasm just makes me love you more, you know.

Kirsten 5 years ago

ok – I just posted this idea over on BlogFrog about yr post Jill, and I liked the metaphor so damn much I had to bring it on over here.

This’s the deal: we’re all in agreement that marriage is a 2-way street, right? Also, I posit that a great marriage is based on equity/reciprocity. But to take the ‘street’ metaphor in another direction, I think that waiting for your partner to meet you halfway is kinda like a high-speed game of chicken – you keep waiting for them to make the big move, and then no one ends up moving towards a more healthy, mutually beneficial place. I think at heart, this woman is saying the same thing – that maybe we can be the ones to make a move that will ultimately benefit our partners AND ourselves.

Having said all that, this idea of ‘submission’ makes me INSANE and I can’t think rationally when people start throwing it around.

Barbara 5 years ago

As a Christian, I see her point (somewhat). However, a Christian marriage is a two way street. Men are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church too. So if you think about what Christ did for the church, a little prayer, fasting, and submission to a man who should be in turn completely devoted to your well being isn’t a bad thing. Scripture can be skewed 86,000 different ways so even though that is HER plan, doesn’t make it mine or yours, etc. In fact, if I was going to do all those things for my husband I wouldn’t blog it….that stuff is personal.

However, I can see how non-Christians would have a different view and that is everyone’s choice.

LinLori 5 years ago

Ohhhh, you hit it *right* on the head. If this was something geared toward *both* partners to work on improving their relationship – as. a. *unit.* – then I would be all over it. As it stands, I already take my husbands input into the running of the household into serious consideration… and then promptly throw it out the window. Cause when it comes to his uniform being ironed or the kids having breakfast? I’m gonna go with breakfast. Cause that’s *his* uniform he should’ve ironed. Not mine. Just saying.

How about he makes a list of the very few things I ask of him to do around the house, and *I* prioritize it for *him*?

But uh… where’s the part where he fasts and prays for *me*? Why do I have to do all the work in this whole being what the other person needs? Shouldn’t there be reciprocity and mutual respect from the get-go? Shouldn’t that have been the foundation of the whole relationship leading to the desire to get married?

Pua 5 years ago

I really should send this challenge to some women…they would love it, literally. Especially if they thought I was participating. My husband and I are equals, plain and simple, but I always thought the saying was “Happy wife, happy life” because I can make his life a lot more miserable than he could ever make mine. I run this bitch.

bitt 5 years ago

Jill, love that you had the guts to post this. My husband (who is arguably more feminist that I am) and I had a good laugh. We agreed that I might make is favorite dessert since he did 5 loads of laundry and did all the dishes.

alexis 5 years ago

i “subscribe to the whole christian thing,” and i found this video to be just a little repulsive. just sayin’, i don’t think the problems the commenters are seeing in this video have anything to do with Christianity.

Jayme 5 years ago

Ack. My husband plays video games, so he’s in her drug users/drunkards category… yet he’s hands on and changes diapers too…


C @ Kid Things 5 years ago

I didn’t even bother watching the video, the post was enough. I did, however, skim through some of the comments and I’m just stunned. It’s almost too sad to even be funny. I will say, though, I am not a dog, I do not need to be “obedient”. Faithful, loving, supportive, sure. Obedient? Really?

Susie @newdaynewlesson 5 years ago

hmmm, now wondering whether my comment is one viewed as by you as a negative one.

What I do think is that everyone can choose to agree or disagree with anyone else. She has put her own personal views out onto the internet the way we all do when we blog, or facebook, or twit or comment. If she was standing outside your house picketing about how you were horrible and you need to see the light I could understand anger.

I personally do not agree with what she is saying or doing, but that does not mean I need to ridicule her or call her names. She will never see your point of view the way you will never see hers. Do you really think that her “movement” will gain steam and threaten femininity or your way of life? I don’t. I don’t feel threatened by her views, because they are hers, not being forced on me and I am free to watch or not watch.

So while I have not joined in on the name calling and bashing-which again if anyone feels it is appropriate to do-it’s up to them because there is freedom of speech, I also do not think my comment should be considered a negative comment because I won’t ridicule or make fun of her.

Words used wrong lower us and our standards for ourselves.

Lili 5 years ago

Whoa. First off I find it incredibly scary that women are giving Scary Mommy grief about her personal feelings about something she saw. If you want to “serve” your husband go forth but saying Scary mommy is “mean” or “picking on the woman”? Really?

Mrs.Christian in the little video needs to remember the little bit in the bible about “and the two shall become one”. I mean it as “equal partnership and reasonable tradeoff”. If Scary Mommy is pushing your buttons pray or fast or call your husband or wife or whatever.

Scary Mommy you are awesome and I think the Video Woman that is “serving” her man can keep on doing her business.

But I’ve one question: If she is so content and her husband is so happy-why does she feel the need to “teach” other people by video about how to manage THEIR relationships? Shouldn’t she be knee deep in good deeds? My guess is that if she had to make the video-there’s a really good reason for it. (Whoever made the secretary comment-yep. I agree.)

Shayna 5 years ago

I started w/ a piece of chocolate to fortify myself to process the madnes!

Missy 5 years ago

I have to agree with Pamela.
Being obedient to your husband does not make you a door mat that gets walked upon. It does not mean that you do not get an opinion in the home or that you do not get to make your own choices.
Today’s “modern woman” takes the word obedience out of context and what it truly means from the bible.
While I do not agree with all of her tasks, there are certainly quite a few in there that a lot of women should consider doing. Sometimes, in order to get the love and respect we deserve from our spouses, we have to take the first step and give them the respect and love first.

And why do we always have to get something out of everything? Why can we just not love our husbands and do things for them because we love them? God loves unconditionaly. He does not ask for reciprocation. He just loves. Some of us could use to start living by that example.

While I have been a reader and follower of Jill’s from almost the beginning, there have been some things I read that I do not agree with. But I just move on. I do not ridicule, make fun of or judge. It is her blog and it is her opinion and she is allowed to that. Why does this women not deserve that same respect?

Angela @ Nine More Months 5 years ago

I could never do that. As a married couple, we are completely equal. We sometimes joke about me “getting in the kitchen where I belong” or something stupid like that, but I could never be a servant to my husband. Heck, I think he even does more of the housework than I do.

Denise 5 years ago

Two thigns:
One, I think the 127 women are the ones posting negative comments on your blog!
Two, I don’t think that is the person your husband married. So why would he want you to do it now?!

Suzanne 5 years ago

I almost choked on my water right there – did she really just say that being the “right kind” of wife can fix your dead-beat, alcoholic, drug-addicted husband? REALLY? Can she point me towards the Bible verse where God tells those women how to file a restraining order when they figure out that their husband’s problems are NOT their fault and no amount of serving them will fix them?

Dana 5 years ago

You know that means you have to cut your boy’s curls, right?

Angela @ Nine More Months 5 years ago

Yeah, mine would make an oral joke as well. Except he probably wouldn’t be joking…

Mama Kat 5 years ago

That said…anything we put out in the open on the internet is open to judgment. I’m not surprised at all that her very conservative religious point of view is being met with criticism.

I AM a little surprised at the name calling though.

Shelley 5 years ago

This rubs me the wrong way. I know it’s great to have a marriage where you care more for your spouse and look after them first, but that only works when you are both doing that. If it’s all one sided like she is saying, that’s not healthy at all. If he were to be doing the same challenges, it would make way more sense.

Corine 5 years ago

OMG… I was so frightened for a minute that you were serious. lol

Tina @ Life Without Pink 5 years ago

LOVE your response Kat! This pretty much says it all. Maybe we should put ourselves first once in awhile instead of everyone else. Happy MOM = a Happy HOME. And you are right our husbands married us for who we are; why change?

Bruna 5 years ago


Yeah, the part where she says that drunk husbands, and the drug users, and the lazy selfish ones (plus, who knows, those who beat their wives?), they all “need a different kind of wife” – oh I am glad she clairifed THAT! :O Now how should their wives worship THEM? (seriously, “WORSHIP”, are you serious???)

Gee, someone shut her up please…

Liz @ Peace, Love & Guacamole 5 years ago

I was thinking the SAME thing about the 1950s essay…do you mean the one where wives are advised to greet their husbands at the door with their hair freshly combed and a ribbon in their hair? My hubby and I still laugh about that.

Lessons in Life and Light 5 years ago

And yes, I do know that you were being facetious. I re-read my comment and it came accross much more serious than I intended, lol.

P.S. The tab on her page about teaching/raising little girls to be homemakers? O.M.G.

Lessons in Life and Light 5 years ago

I’d like to see something like this for those of us who are not religious. I was totally into this until all the Bible and God references set in. I just can’t get on board because it’s not what I believe.

Desiree 5 years ago

Yes – this is exactly the kind of response I would get as well. Glad I’m not the only one!

Jacki 5 years ago

I am so doing things the wrong way. Being a complete and satisfied person with my own life and dreams is obviously the root of all our problems. I must stop, and stop now, and cater to all his drunkard whims. How could I have been so wrong!? Hope y’all are reading the sarcasm.

The Single Mama 5 years ago


The Single Mama 5 years ago

I agree!!! People are just being downright mean. So what if this is what she wants to do?! Shes suggesting you follow along, shes not demanding it or saying you’re marriage is going to fail wihtout it. She’s saying it is what she believes in because it has proven to work FOR her. Respect her and her wishes.

subWOW 5 years ago

Actually, I take it back. I visited the site briefly. And as a mother of two boys, I am going to be selfish and highly endorse such a scheme of producing wonderful homemakers who will take care of my boys much better than I have been and ever will. I never have to worry about my sons getting beaten up like Elin beat up Tiger Woods. And I can really learn to be proud of my boys when they show their women what their places are in the world. I wonder whether they also teach about “submission to parents-in-law since you know they gave birth to the man who is leading you so they are like on an even higher level” because the last thing I need after raising these brats are daughters-in-law that talk back and don’t appreciate my gorgeous wonderful sons. Awesome!

Meredith 5 years ago

I am sort of astounded by all the criticism here. Women can be whatever they want to be. If this woman wants to be a homemaker and take care of her family, why does anyone else care? Women have fought for the right not to be pushed into a certain role. So if this is the role she chooses, let her do it peace! I am a stay at home mom myself. I love it and I would never do anything else. In case you’re wondering, I AM educated. (Master’s degree). This is not the life I was pushed into. It is the life I chose. You are all taking this too literally. Submission, as the Bible teaches, does not mean being a doormat for your husband. And it only works if your husband is the kind of husband God wants him to be. Does everyone have that kind of husband? No. Am I ALWAYS submissive? No, if that means being walked all over. But my husband doesn’t try to walk all over me. I am just shocked that women would criticize another woman for doing what makes her and her family happy. Give her a break.

subWOW 5 years ago

LMAO! I am enjoying the entire comment thread. (THANK YOU DEAR GOD(s) for the absence of trolls here… Keeping my fingers crossed)

But this one, “I let me husband have sex with me and he likes it. That is submission enough.” This one, m’lady, takes the fucking cake.

alexis 5 years ago

bwahahahaha! nothing like ballsucking to make a marriage more heavenly.

Cynthia 5 years ago

This post wins the interwebs.

Cynthia 5 years ago

Oh and BTW she totally reminded me of the ever-faithful preacher’s wife on True Blood.

subWOW 5 years ago

OMFG! Should I click on it? My hand is shaking. Actually my whole body is shaking. Maybe it’s created by The Onion?! Please? Just lie to me…

Cynthia 5 years ago

Jesus wants you to subjugate yourself!
Thankfully, I’m a Jew, so I can call bullshit on this. LOUD.

WebSavvyMom 5 years ago

–>It was hard to read this with the tears rolling down my face. From laughter. My husband would think I was cheating on him or guilty of something if I did all of this.

alexis 5 years ago

i thought you were perfectly nice. i would have been much less so. i mean, i only left a comment and i told her to pull her head out of her ass. that probably says more about me than about how nice or not nice you are, but still. i found your approach to be quite above board. then again, i will cut a bitch.

Suzanne 5 years ago

If you can find a genuine, popular site run by a guy encouraging husbands to do the same thing where more than 100 guys have signed up, I will eat my shoe. BOTH shoes.

All the man-focused sites and books and material I’ve ever seen are aimed at how to LEAD your family in a more Godly manner. This serving stuff isn’t on the agenda.

Pua 5 years ago

Last year for Valentine’s Day my husband’s parents bought us that as a gift to “fix our marriage.” We had only been married for 8 months…I was in shock.

BuenoBabyGirl 5 years ago

HA Ha ha! Casey, my sentiments exactly!

alexis 5 years ago

maybe after fasting for a day, eating just about *anything* would seem more appetizing? i dunno, just a thought…and also, the Bible says we should stone homosexuals. so I think this whole taking the bible literally has it’s downsides.

Jen 5 years ago

I let me husband have sex with me and he likes it. That is submission enough.

Pua 5 years ago


Melissa 5 years ago

Excellent point!

Melissa 5 years ago

What is wrong with this world is we don’t accept people for who they are and what they want for their own lives. If this woman is stepping on your rights, stand up and say so. But jeez, who really cares that this is the path she chooses to serve her husband and her God. Live and let live.

Kelly B(elly) 5 years ago

“It’s not” a challenge for husbands (on that blog) probably because the blog (which I have not checked out, only opened the link) is entitled “Women Living Well”. So my guess is there are very few male readers among its target audience. Just a guess. Not to say theres’s not a blog out there, by a man, that doesn’t have some similar sort of message. Love and respect are sort of the basics of Christian marriage (there’s a scripture about exactly that). It’s not a “one serving the other” relationship, it’s a “serve eachother” deal. It’s not about inequality at all. If you’re not a Christian, then the blog in question probably isn’t reading material for you. Even if you don’t subscribe to the whole Christian thing, I think Kathleen said it best when she said, “you me and everybody, can benefit from some heads-out-of-our-own-butts-worrying-about-me-me-me-me-me, good-old-fashioned unselfishness.”

Melissa 5 years ago

I wonder where she’s from? Seriously. (not snarky!)

Julie 5 years ago

Haha, it just crossed my mind and I had to come say it… We should be teaching our kids to do this for US! 😉

Erin I’m Gonna Kill Him 5 years ago

You know I’m related to Mafia ganglords. I’ve just called in a hit on this chica.

rikka 5 years ago

i just threw up in my mouth a little.
ok, it was actually projectile vomit.
i feel so, so sorry for this lady, for thinking her sole purpose in life is to be a submissive servant. what did womens rights activists fight for again? i could not help but go to her site to gawk. how about the “teaching your daughters the art of home making”? dont get me wrong, home making is extremely important, but please dont teach your daughter that it is all she should aspire to be. i guess the only person i feel more sorry for is indeed her daughter. this is so very sick.

From Belgium 5 years ago

Strange, this is exactly what my husband responded when I emailed him the link.

Alexa 5 years ago

Oh, and if we really want to get down to it (especially biblically), the husband has just as much a job (if not bigger) to make his wife happy. It’s not a one sided thing. There are some really great men out there who understand this, and the others need some shaping in their thinking.

dopkins 5 years ago

Marriage is about mutual respect, love and friendship. Not worship. Save that for the church of your choice.

rikka 5 years ago

yes. amazing.

Noah 5 years ago

Okay, speaking as a husband, PLEASE, PLEASE, women, DO NOT BEHAVE LIKE THIS! Men do not want their wives to wait on them like dogs and the ones that do do not deserve even the slightest amount of false pleasure such subservience would bring. I got married because I wanted an equal partner to share my life, not an obsequious toady. Be nice to each other? Absolutely. Put the other’s needs ahead of you own? Sure … sometimes. But any relationship where one partner feels the need to completely surrender their sense of self to the other is utterly doomed.

Julie 5 years ago

That’s a really good way of putting it I agree with that 100%

Elle 5 years ago

I’m a Christian, and I love God…but this is just too much. I’m sure that for some women, it’s just what they need. It’s not for me, though. Like some of the comments already pointed out–my husband married me for the woman I am. Not because I was a lifeless lump of clay that had no purpose in life until he came along. He fell in love me because I’m feisty and speak my mind–I’m his equal in this life–his partner. We’re in this together.

What would fasting for him do? Make me cranky and pissed off at him, I suppose. Would he like me better then? No. I mean, I’m not making fun of this woman because obviously, she believes in what she’s doing. I do question how the children of these women will behave when they’re adults. Will their daughters be doormats, fasting at home so their men will come home every night? Will their sons be expecting women to be in the home 24/7, being the respectable little housewife who may never step a toe out of line?

Is this really teaching respect on both sides, or giving men the power to control a submissive woman? I don’t like it. Women have fighting for independence and equal partnership for too long. This is 10,000 steps back, all in one summer.

And the line about drunkards and video gamers taking “A different kind of wife…” That just gave me the creeps.

Alexa 5 years ago

I’m not sure how Nathan would take this. I’m going to brag about him a little bit, but in reality he’s super patient with me. I do go on my nagging jags and he’s usually really good about putting up with my crap. I’m really pro marriage so I try to be a good wife. I can’t say that I clip coupons or greet him with his favorite drinks, but I try to do things that do make him happy. Thankfully, I can say that he returns the favor! :)

Miss Britt 5 years ago

Woah. I couldn’t disagree more with “a happy husband makes a happy wife” or the idea that we can make anyone else happy or fulfilled. That kind of thinking damn near destroyed my marriage, because we were both trying to a) make someone else responsible for our individual happiness and b) trying to take that responsibility/power away from our spouse.

This idea is so prevalent and so, so dangerous. Submitting to your husband? Great. But that is completely different than taking ownership of his happiness and tying your self worth to how HE feels.

Ann’s Rants 5 years ago

This is a screen test for Big Love, right?

NoraCampisi 5 years ago

I think modern relationships have morphed a bit. I am new to blogging/new to twitter, and it is a bit addictive….I told him this morning, “guess what, three people are following me already!” As he went through a jam-packed refrigerator, he asked me if they knew where the sandwich bread went. Oh, well…

Brandie 5 years ago

There actually is a male version, well at least a movie. Unfortunately there seems to be only the clones of Barbie up there doing it, I was even invited to join in on one of their cult, oh sorry, Fireproofing challenges. I dropped out the first day because of illness…I couldn’t stop the projectile vomiting.

Oh damn, gotta run. My husband is guzzling a beer, playing video games, eating pizza and saying something about submission. Where’d I put the lube???……

Jennifer Jacura 5 years ago

The only submission I’d be doing involves handcuffs
And if I tried any of those things ‘for’ my husband he’d have me committed.

patois 5 years ago

I can’t believe I’m already three days late. How will I make it up to my husband?

running in alabama 5 years ago

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha *gaaaasssssp* hahahahahahahahahahahaha

Robyn 5 years ago

Thank you, Thank you. Some of these responses are just as scary as the challenge. As a I am Chistian; Shawn I say do the cooking next week! She’ll thank you for it. For the record, I thought of doing some of the challenges not for the submission part but because my hubby has had a horrible year and if I can do anything to make his life enjoyable I will. He would probably have me committed, but get a kick out of it and appreciate it. God loves everyone, no one more than another.

Lori 5 years ago

You know, I actually wrote out a response, but deleted it.

So I am just going to say ….

“Yeah. What Mama Kat said…” because she summed it up beautifully.

RLG 5 years ago

I’m with you, Tracey.

Mama Kat 5 years ago

Wow…after reading a lot of these comments I just want to state that I do think this woman’s intentions are coming from a good place even though I don’t agree with the idea of “becoming something” that my husband wants.

She wants her husband to be happy and I think that’s awesome. I don’t think it’s necessary to call her names for trying to be a good wife.

Julie 5 years ago

Ok. Is she a little crazy eyed and overly perky? Yes. Is her approach old fashioned and limiting for a woman? I don’t think so. The context of what she’s doing is based around Biblical principles, for those who follow Jesus. I’m not going to preach, but I am going to say “What would it hurt?” I know, I know. We (most of us) have kids and some of us are full time moms and have full time jobs. Some of us are too caught up in all of that to even see that we could make more of an effort in our marriage without totally losing ourselves.

Am I going to follow her plan? No. But I am going to be more attentive to what’s going on in our family, and how my actions (or lack thereof) affect the family dynamic. I love to please my husband. It edifies me to know that I’ve done something that makes him happy. I do submit to my husband, he’s the leader of our family. That doesn’t mean that we’re not equal partners though, we make decisions together, but it does mean that when I’m lacking, when I’m in doubt, when I’m in pain, I know that I’m not alone, and that he’s picking up the slack and leading me and our family back into a place of strength and health.

Nothing bad is going to happen from putting someone else first, and from submitting to your husband. But if you’re not a believer and follower of Jesus, this whole thing wouldn’t resonate with you, and that’s fine. I don’t think it’s fair to make fun of others with whom it does resonate though. And I’m not entirely certain that’s what Jill was doing, but even if it was, I’m not passing judgement!

nic @mybottlesup 5 years ago

jill, when did sarcasm and “mean” become one in the same? i must’ve missed that lesson when i missed the submit to my husband lesson. crap. i always fell asleep when the nuns were teaching.

nic @mybottlesup 5 years ago

just had to answer the “do they have girls” part b/c when i scoped out this site yesterday, after i finished dry heaving, i made the mistake of clicking on this badge on the sidebar, which led to the site, created for the dear daughters…

and then i resumed my dry heaving. you’re welcome.

mommymomma 5 years ago

Once upon a time in a land far away, I was 20 and someones wife. I actually remember getting huffy and saying to someone “it’s not a joke, it’s a vow”. That was, of course, before treatment.

And…I tried, but I cannot keep my mouth shut…here’s the deal, folks…FKN LAUGH, it’s funny!!! Put the kabosh on all the guilt inducing ya-ya. My partner and I were in a horrific car accident that left her a paraplegic and if you don’t think she rocks her wheels laughing at “crippled jokes”, you’re wrong. And it’s because we’re happy, well adjusted, fun and funny people. So have some fun with this. In my mind, this lovely woman is loving the attention and humor this post is bringing her.

Good lord, where’s my Ativan??? 😉

maggie 5 years ago

Jill, i totally agree with you! I can’t believe people are taking this so seriously. I do not feel you attacked this woman at all. You are more than welcome to point and laugh at me whenever necessary, and this WAS necessary. Marriage is a partnership, and it takes both individuals to make it or break it. I don’t know any man that wouldn’t crackup at this insane request. Fasting??? To damn funny. Let me start practicing my curtsy.

amber 5 years ago


Really? I mean…really?

I guess if this is the kind of thing that makes your marriage work, then, okay, cool.

But, really? I appreciate my husband plenty…as well as bring home the bacon, clean his house, care for his child and even whore it up occasionally…

If anyone needs to humble themselves, it’s him!

Jodi 5 years ago

Just for the record I am a total Republican and I think that woman has shit for brains…..(the one telling us to feed our men)….

I am wondering where the part was about giving an excellant BJ after he comes home from work everyday!

SaucyB 5 years ago

I’d bet good money you won’t find a blog by a dude recommending all the hubs out there do this for their WIVES.
Whoever this chick is, thanks a lot for setting women back about 50 years. (rolling my eyes and proud if it)

Jodi 5 years ago

I just threw up in my mouth…..

MrsW 5 years ago

I too am intrigued as to how to be the wife a drunk needs… work 12 hours a day and keep the fridge full of cold beer? Yay – amen to that – walk with the King.

Lin 5 years ago

lmao…this is such a freaking joke!

Nicole 5 years ago

I had to stop watching 31 seconds in….ridiculous.

snafflesmummy 5 years ago

Crikey I wouldnt last 2 minutes let alone 2 weeks.

I must not EVER let my husband see this video.

He deosnt seem to have any complaints so I am not going to make life any harder for myself.

I know what his likes and dislikes are. I dont need to ask him!

nic @mybottlesup 5 years ago

super! nothing like fantasticness found in submission… next up will be “shut your whore mouth, good wife, and suck my balls.”

is it possible to take a copy of betty friedan’s “the feminine mystique” and wrap it in the cover of a bible, so as to provide this woman with some sense of self worth?

snafflesmummy 5 years ago

Ha, this is exactly what I was thinking!

Natalie 5 years ago

This may do more harm than good. He’d think something was up and ask what I did or what I wanted.

And there’s no way I’d last 2 months without any eye rolling at all!

Sally 5 years ago

1st: someone should scrub her face and take her camping – I think she could use it.
2nd: take 11 year old boychild aside and have him watch, asking him in my best Sweetie voice if this isn’t just the kind of wife he needs. The response? “Mo-om, yer scarin’ me!”
3rd: ask spouse if he’s bothered that I told the j.p. I wouldn’t obey, then ask him which day this week he wants me to fast and pray for him. Watch him skulk out of the room scowling and muttering about “whacko blogger types.”
4th: there are over 100 people who’ve signed up for this Challenge. Now THAT’S Scary!

aside: I GREW his progeny IN MY BODY, have been the primary (and sometimes sole) breadwinner for the past several years, make 99% of our financial and childrearing decisions, nearly lost my ability to be a Person under the load of being a Mom, and I’m still expected to bat my eyes and ask what I can do for him?!? Sheesh!

Life with Kaishon 5 years ago

I just sent Gary a text message to see if we could discuss our 1, 5 and ten year plan tinight over a delicious fast food dinner and he told me to stop smoking crack. oh well. i tried!!!

Pamela 5 years ago

there is something to be said for obeying and worshiping your husband. call me crazy, but my husband and i have a heavenly marriage that comes from activities like this. i think you could learn a thing or two from this woman and generations before her. ever wonder why the divorce rate is the highest it’s ever been? it’s because the sanctity of marriage is being mocked. it’s not a joke, it’s a vow.

Sara Plays House 5 years ago

This is awesome. I can’t WAIT to watch the video! But that will have to wait until my daughters are out of the room–wouldn’t want them to get any STRANGE IDEAS about how marriage works.
This is almost as good as that 1950’s Good Housekeeping “article” about how to be a good wife that ran across the internet a few years back.

Jennifer 5 years ago

Maybe that’s coming next. We can hope.

Jennifer 5 years ago

I would love to see THAT video.

Jennifer 5 years ago

It’s women like the person in the video who set us back generations. That kind of thinking is so antiquated that it IS funny. I laughed. But, I’m also going to hell.

Kathleen@so much to say, so little time 5 years ago

Personally I thought that comment was a cheap shot, and absolutely unhelpful to anyone. It’s really hard for me to be put in this situation, b/c this concept of marriage (submission) is as irritating to me as it is to most of you–yet I respect the sincerity of their beliefs, and I do think that their marriages (and probably mine and yours, too) would be happier if we instituted some of what they said–not b/c it makes us worship/serve our husbands, but b/c it gets us away from focusing on ourselves. A previous commenter said that women put everyone else first, and in some ways I think that’s true–but I also think we tend to consider ourselves martyrs for doing it, which means we really are still putting ourselves first.

(Donning flak jacket)

Jennifer 5 years ago

You know what I like about my marriage, it’s a partnership. And we’re going on 20 years so I’m pretty sure it works just fine. I think if this works for her and makes her happy then awesome for them, but this would never work at my house. Never.

Jennifer 5 years ago

We Southern gals don’t like it much either.

Kathleen@so much to say, so little time 5 years ago

I have problems with these kinds of things, too, because of exactly the kind of unequal burden you point out.

However, that being said, I think that we as women have a bad habit of bad behavior (eye rolling, nagging, etc.) that men don’t have. And it’s a sad but true fact of life that if relationships need improving, somebody has to start the change. Dumb, trivial example: in the perennial struggle between men and women–i.e., toilet seat up or down?–my husband made the first move. He started putting not only the seat down, but also the lid. And he did this for probably three months without comment before I caught on and reciprocated.

So, although I don’t care for the terms in which this effort is couched, and I won’t be joining it, I *do* *absolutely* think that all women, you me and everybody, can benefit from some heads-out-of-our-own-butts-worrying-about-me-me-me-me-me, good-old-fashioned unselfishness.

As for fasting, I think fasting is a benefit to the person who does it, not so much @ the person you’re fasting “for.” And as a lifelong Catholic, I know fasting. :)

S Club Mama 5 years ago

I guess I’m a little disappointed about this post. Usually I think you’re hilarious and love reading. But just because this challenge may not be for you, does it deserve a sarcasm-dripped post full of ridicule?

BlissfulBabe 5 years ago

Ok. I had to watch it.

Now I have to go clean off my desk.

*residual wretch*

Julie 5 years ago

screw that. LOL.

BlissfulBabe 5 years ago

I am SO in! Yes. I must submit. That is what I LIVE for.

Oh wait. This doesn’t apply to me! I haven’t a husband!

DADGUMMIT! I was so looking forward to participating in this life changing challenge. Shucks.

I am so glad that I didn’t eat yet.
Really. I threw up in my mouth. A lot. While reading the post. I didn’t even watch the video. I am sure that I would not be able to contain the bile in my mouth and it would end up all over my desk.

I am totally for making my man feel ‘special’. But it IS a two-way street.
I am a Christian. I love the Lord. And I love showing respect for my significant other/spouse/etc. But SERIOUSLY. That’s pushing it a bit too far.

Well, if it’s making them happy, good on them!

Dear Sydney 5 years ago

There is no way for me to get that 3 minutes and 4 seconds of my life back, is there?

I wish her well on her challenge, but in all honesty it sounds like a marriage “crash diet” to me. I’ve been very happily married for 5 years and we now have a 5 month old duaghter – I’m already swimming in the ocean that is putting others needs before mine and you know what – I’m loving it! You know why? Because my husband does the same. We take care of each other and we know how important it is to take care of ourselves too. After all, you’ve got to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help those around you.

Thanks for extending the offer to join, but my schedule is a little full for the next bazillion years!

mother in israel 5 years ago

Oops, mistyped the URL.

mother in israel 5 years ago

“This challenge could be for husbands as well as wives.”
Could be, but it’s not. I suspect the equivalent video for men will have a very different message.

Chrissy MacCEO 5 years ago

I can’t believe this is real! {not your post, the actual challenge itself!} Thanks for the good laugh this morning!!

Kim 5 years ago

Jill, I think you just lost your right winged, highly religious readership. But, not to worry- they never read you anyway. You are way too real and funny for them!

From Belgium 5 years ago

The Belgian girl guides to husband manupilation – sorry- management:

1) feed him (seriously, it works)
2) make sure there is always alchohol in the house,but let him choose the beer, after all he is the expert (read : let him go to the f***** store himself if he wants to drink that vile concoction)
3) occasionaly bake him a cake (chocolate preferably)
4) when he has been blabbing about anything boring and you haven’t listened, but suddenly he requires your opinion don’t say ‘I am sorry honey but I wasn’t listening’ say : ‘Really I don’t know I mean I don’t think I have enough expierence/know enough about that to be able to judge’
5) support him in his hobby. I he wants to spend the saterday participating in the 10 miles, you go along to cheer him when he finishes and in order to occupy yourself indulge in a little shopping while he is running his heart out (works best when childeren are left at grandparents)
6) Kindly suggest a tv in his study so that he can watch sports, when he has to work on sunday’s the poor darling (and you get a sunday of peace hah).
7) Take care of his clothes (read : make sure those Iron maiden t-shirts get burned and that he is dressed reasonably stylish instead of looking like a hobo)
8) Go shopping for yourself regularly so that he has a stylish and good looking wife (drop the kids at the grandparents, they pestered you long enough for grandchilderen now they can ‘enjoy’ them)
9) Stroke his ego: ‘you know I have noticed that our daughter goes to sleep again a lot faster if you get up instead of me, she must like you better’ (benefit : he will get up and you get to stay in bed, since he is just so proud of the fact that his child likes him better, while in reality she couldn’t care less)
10) Take over any uninteresting chores, such as the decoration of the house (thus making sure the house will be decorated to your taste, but make sure to ask his opinion every once in a while, just present him with options you like).

See how easy it is! And trust me, my husband loves me to death (he’d better or he is death).
Now go and spread the word.

Ps: I am being sarcastic of course… *cough*

Shawn 5 years ago

Wow… I’m not sure if I’m more disturbed by the woman, or some people’s response to your post… Have we seriously hit a time where we can’t let someone’s opinion, or even just gut response just be? I mean having read even one of your other posts before this one would set up that it is a light-hearted jab at a seriously messed up woman, not some serious critique of her foundational core of being…

I mean seriously people, we read this blog because it is funny!

On another note, I’m just sad that as a lesbian I can’t participate in her challenge… I’m usually too busy trying not to submit to my son’s will… But I bet my wife would find the cooking every night for her refreshing!

Pgoodness 5 years ago


Not in this lifetime my friend. 😉

Terri 5 years ago

Let’s see if my husband prioritized my life… The house would be a disaster, he would want me to sit on the couch when not at work, we’d be overweight b/c we’d eat fast food or restaraunt food 3 meals a day & he wouldn’t want me to workout … We’d all be an unhealthy mess living in a pigstye. While it may work for her, it certainly isn’t the model for everyone.

Kate Coveny Hood 5 years ago

Okay…I can see how there are some nice intentions here…being a better spouse is a noble pursuit. But the one-sidedness is a bit much. I say that they switch off weeks or maybe days? Simultaneous completion probably requires some higher level education or a correspondence school degree or something. Either way – first thing tomorrow, I’m telling Chris how he can best pray for me that day.

Mrs. Call Me Crazy 5 years ago

My husband would fall over dead if I did even one thing on this list. Even one. Our marriage seems to work just fine the way it is. I bitch at him all the time, he plays golf whenever he feels like it, we have sex twice a week. It just works. Oh, and I NEVER make dinner. That’s what the nanny does. Actually, it seems like our nanny would make a better wife than me according to this lady. But fuck it, I work 60 hours per week. Pretty sure this broad isn’t doing that.

The Mommyologist 5 years ago

I would LOVE this chick to try and talk to a bunch of women in the Northeast about this. I’m already laughing at the thought of it.

msdilemma 5 years ago

~~~~~ running to check calendar………………… yep it says 2010….. NOT 1945!!!! I am finding this seriously disturbing. SERIOUSLY DISTURBING. All I can say (as I am still in shock that a video like that even exists) is that my husband would die LAUGHING if I did even one or two of those suggestions LOL xxxxx

Naomi 5 years ago

well, i managed 44 seconds of that video. wow, that’s just freakin’ scary. i think my husband would prefer we try the sex for 30-for-day-save-your-marriage-therapy rather than ‘praying’ for him…

Catherine 5 years ago

Wow, right now I’m kinda happy that I don’t have a husband.

Franticmommy 5 years ago

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
That’s not marriage…that’s domestic servitude. BARF!

Jen Gallagher 5 years ago

This response sums up mine. Good one.

Kevin Bruce 5 years ago

These 2 months I commit myself in submitting to my wife, to give her the pedicures and selfless worship she needs. This is because I’m what is known as the “modern man” not stuck in the pilgrim age and love my wife as an equal. Nuff said!

CT Mom 5 years ago

Um, what? If she wasn’t so serious (in her perky way) in that video, I would have thought she was kidding. Marriage is a 2 way street, give and take. If she had suggested a 2 month challenge for both partners, I might have considered it.

I’d have to add it to my list of 5 things and then asked my video playing husband to prioritize it.

Amanda 5 years ago

After reading what you wrote, I knew I couldn’t click on the video without wanting to reach into my monitor and strangle the woman in it. My husband is a type-A and married a type-A. We don’t do submission in this house. My husband would have me put in a straight jacket and committed if I did any of that. As for the favorite foods, My husband did mandate pizza night once a week per his addiction when we moved in together, but who am I to argue with a night I don’t have to spend in the kitchen?

Jana @ Attitude Adjustment 5 years ago

The sad thing is, I know a couple who would view this site and follow its advice with utmost sincerity. Makes me nauseous.

The Grasshoppa 5 years ago

Oh. And then I ‘d get down on my knees and pray.

OHN 5 years ago

Sorry….already commented once but I just watched it again (yeah, kinda like you have to slow down to look at the mangled bodies in a wreck).
This lady is nucking futs.

The Grasshoppa 5 years ago

Sounds exactly like the kind of thing this other blog might post that someone told me to read once. And that’s exactly how many times I read it. Once. I think it was Mcmama or something ike that. I just remember she referred to all her family members as McDonalds foods. And her life is all based on submission to your husband.

It makes me want to throw my computer through a window.

OHN 5 years ago

1) What the hell has she been smoking?
2) Lets flop this puppy upside down and have it be the summer where HE caters to US.
3) What the hell has she been smoking?

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

Yes, I really do. Even when I offend them.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

I bet her husband is the happiest guy in the world! And, she seems pretty darn perky, too.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

It didn’t seem so mean at 1:00 AM when I wrote it, but everything is different with morning eyes. I just found it so off the wall, as I was crafting a post about rolling my eyes at my husband too often. And, I felt compelled to share. Oh, the dangers of having a blog.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

I’ll see what I can do, but I’m pretty sure since you’re going to hell that there’s no point in having a happy home. Worth a shot though!

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

“I can say, from personal experience, when we put other people’s needs/desires ahead of our own, often times they will reciprocate.”

Yes, that is absolutely true, and there is something to be said for treating your spouse with respect and love. For sure! If this was a “how to make your marriage better” workshop geared at both partners, it wouldn’t have bugged me at all. It was the notion that it’s all on the wife to serve and worship the husband. And, either way, the fasting thing is way too much for me. I love Jeff to death, but c’mon.

Amanda 5 years ago

So when does the HUSBAND’S 2 MONTH CHALLENGE START??? when do the husbands sumbit to us? when do they start worshiping? everytime woman get 5 steps ahead with equality idiots like this woman come out and kick us 10 steps back its infuriating.
n dont rag on my sp idc.
Good for you Jill for posting this dumbass 😀

Nan 5 years ago

I love the comments… all of them. You’ve got some thoughtful readers out there, Jill.

Green Mama 5 years ago

I just laughed so much I coughed up a lung. Then I wrote a post linking to this one… enjoy

Holly 5 years ago

Love the post, love the comments (even the lower lip trembling ones) but I love love LOVE the comment about the husband ‘banging his secretary’.

meg 5 years ago

Wow. Yikes. Yuck.
In this society men get served all the fricking time. No need for this kind of ‘challenge’!

Susie @newdaynewlesson 5 years ago

I am really torn in which direction to reply so I will reply in both ways. Before I do, I want you to know what I say comes from a place of really loving your blog .

First-people are free to choose what they want to read and do. The world is great because we can always agree to disagree. Like squigglemom said, the way you have blasted this women’s beliefs was kind of mean. If this is what works for her or other women, that’s their perogitive. What is right for one person is not right for another. She is not forcing this on anyone. Whatever her life style or issues that she has that make her believe this is the right way to go is her issue. You can say you disagree or don’t understand why submitting yourself to another is right. You can agree not to see eye to eye. If she truly believes in her cause, this post if she ever reads it must cause her a lot of pain and possible embarresment. (a post I wrote about the power of words ) .

Second-I am ashamed to say that I did laugh as I read some of it. Ashamed because I try hard not to make fun of others.

All in all I don’t think you need to give up your rights or wishes for someone else. What I do know is that when you treat someone (especially your partner) the way you want to be treated without wanting anything in return, you will get your “investment” back many times over in love, consideration and respect. Something to think about.

Angie 5 years ago

OK, this doesn’t appeal to me either. Submit? Huh?
That is NOT the marriage I want!

BUT… if this is what makes this lady happy and her husband happy, well, I bet they have a pretty happy marriage. And IF it works for them then they will feel satisfied and in love and in tune and support each other and be better partners and parents for it. As icky and unappealing as the means to getting there are (to me), I gotta say, they will probably all be the better off for her commitment and … submission.

SquiggleMum 5 years ago

That post was kinda mean Jill. I think you could have shared your opinion on this without poking fun at another blogger, and the 100+ women who think like she does. I don’t have a problem with you disagreeing with her, just with disrespecting her.

subWOW 5 years ago

Ok. I know you are being sarcastic. Yes, you are, right? Don’t make me cry. LOL.

As for the video, no, I didn’t click on it. Just reading the summary is enough to make my skin crawl. *shudder*

Do these women have girls? Why do they even bother encouraging their girls to study or do anything else if they expect grown women to do nothing else but allow their husbands to “lead” them? In that case, wouldn’t the men prefer the ignorant kind? No talking up nor speaking up? Wouldn’t that just make this whole scheme a lot easier to maintain? Look at what’s going on in the fundamentalist Muslim societies. If girls are not allowed to go to school, yes, men there can continue to lead as long as they’d like.

I am getting riled up without even watching the video. I am sorry. I tried to be sarcastic and funny and yet I failed miserably.

mommymomma 5 years ago

I read this amazing blog when you posted earlier about her, & I was so hoping you would join up so we could glean not only hers, but your wisdom on this project as well.

I have a favor…do you think you could ask a eenie-weenie question of the lovely woman on the original blog? Could you find out if she would be willing to interpret this challenge for lesbians?I know we’re an abomination, but we need happy homes, too!

Yours in Christ,

Rachel @ Mommy Needs a Vacation 5 years ago

Holy shit shoot me now. What a fucking joke. Can you imagine???? I can barely be the woman I WANT to be, let alone some friggin’ woman some man wants me to be. YIKES is all I have to say.

jenny talia 5 years ago

you’re shitting me, right?

Katie 5 years ago

This woman just grouped husbands who play video games in with the drunkards and drug users. My husband plays video games (in fact we play them together). He also works 2 jobs and does laundry and dishes while I go to school full time and work nights. Her husband may not play those evil video games but I bet he’s banging his secretary.

Mama Kat 5 years ago

I just want to know when things stopped being about me. Thinking about Pat first would only confuse him.

What bothered me most about the challenge is that as wives and mothers I feel like we, by nature, put EVERYONE before ourselves. Including our husbands. Women should be taking time to nurture themselves so that they are available and healthy enough to be the best mothers and wives we can be.

Becoming the woman my husband needs?? Excuse me? My husband married me because I am who I am…why do I have to “become” something to fit someone else’s needs? Why would my husband “need” me to “become” something else?

It certainly does not hurt anything to appreciate and be thankful for your husband. Pat and I work hard and we take care of each other…but fast for him for an entire day?? I don’t see what purpose that would serve. Become an obedient helper to my husband because apparently Genesis says that’s the way to be? No thank you.

I actually like our system.

Beth 5 years ago

I’m going to assume this is sarcasm here. Otherwise, I’m speechless! If this is what makes a good marriage, I would never have gotten married. I can’t imagine how women can degrade themselves that way. Although Texan Mama, I like what you said about us all needing to serve each other.

Erin W. / Beatnik Momma 5 years ago

I have serious problems with ANYONE that asks me to “submit.” Like, uses the actual word. It’s one thing to ask me to do you a favor, or for me to put the needs of my husband or kids before my own, but if I’m doing it as an act of “submission,” then there is a serious problem.

I’m all for taking some time to show gratitude to your partner, but you’re crazy if you think I’m going to devote even one hour, let alone the entire summer, bending to his will. No thanks.

Oh, and lady in the video, nothing personal, but I’d never encourage women to be like you either. LOLs

Brittany 5 years ago

OMG YAY! Submission is my middle name, ya know?


Tiaras 5 years ago

you’re flipping kidding right?? ’cause you know – I may have to come and slap you awake here

Megan (Best of Fates) 5 years ago

I have to say, I really wish she’d elaborated on how to be the wife your drug addict husband needs.

That’d be a useful video clip.

Formerly Gracie 5 years ago

Worship… on your knees perhaps. (Snort) I’m sorry, but this just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Li-tuh-ra-lly.

Chibi Jeebs 5 years ago

If this is what marriage entails, I think we’ll continue living in sin thank you veddy much. o_O

dig this chick 5 years ago

Hmm my husband needs a woman who rocks out her autonomous, nurturing, courageous, strong, creative self. I am glad barbie acknowledges that what her husband needs *might* be different than what my husband needs. I think that’s the only thing she said that I agree with.

Texan Mama 5 years ago

AFter reading over my comment I just had to add one more thing: there are many times my husband humbles himself to me and serves me. This challenge could be for husbands as well as wives. It’s not like women are supposed to serve men, or anything like that. We’re all supposed to serve one another, no matter what our gender is. I think the main idea here is probably teaching ourselves to be less concerned about our own needs and think a little more about what our spouse needs.

But that’s just my opinion/guess.

Jen 5 years ago

My husband would admit me to a mental health hospital if I started doing these things. Great for you, but certainly not for me.

Good luck

Texan Mama 5 years ago

I’m assuming this is all sarcasm?

I know you probably don’t agree with it, but there is a lot to be said about a person who humbles themselves to put another person’s needs before their own. And, this challenge doesn’t say, “become a self-sacrificing martyr! Never accept any kindness shown to you!!!” I can say, from personal experience, when we put other people’s needs/desires ahead of our own, often times they will reciprocate. Our kindness inspires them to return it back to us. And even if they don’t return it back to us, we still have done a good thing – and not just for anyone, we’re doing it for the person we are married to. For the person for whom we claim to have utmost respect, love, and honor.

I am not saying this challenge is for everyone. But, seriously, it’s not nonsense either. And it’s not about women becoming doormats for our husbands. I think it probably has to do with us being a reflection of Christ and how he humbled himself for us. Again, this challenge isn’t for everyone, but for people who are Christians then this would be a way to strengthen their faith lives.

But hey, it’s your blog and if you think it’s a bunch of hooey, then props to you for saying so!

Kisha Floren 5 years ago

If I asked my husband how I could best serve him I don’t know what would come first, a crack about oral sex or him questioning my sanity. Um, yeah. My husband prefers being married to an equal, not a servant. Otherwise he would have married someone with a whole lot less attitude! (love your snark, BTdubs)

alexis 5 years ago

i canNOT wait! i should probably get myself to my bedroom now for a lil pants-off, hands-on action. because i don’t know about you, but my husband’s vision for our family mostly involves skyrockets in flight.

ugh. that video made me puke in my mouth and i could only get halfway through. i had to go back and watch the second half after a five minute break. i love how she says, “some husbands are drunkards or drug users…those kinds of husbands are going to take a different kind of wife.” ummm, pull your head out of your ass, lady!

pmrgrl 5 years ago

really, laugh or cry? no wait i say disturbed is another option to be

Amber 5 years ago

I guess I have to marry mine before I can worship him 😛

Casey 5 years ago

I’m with Tracey. Lawd. I’d be drunk for two months straight with that agenda.

Tracey 5 years ago

Don’t know whether to laugh or cry.


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