Although I “LOL” quite a bit, it’s not all that often that I actually LAUGH OUT LOUD while reading blog posts. Marinka’s posts at Motherhood in NYC are an exception. Her post last week on celebrities and mortals interacting on Twitter had me literally snorting in bed reading it on my iPhone. Today, she discusses love and affection, as only she can…
Even though I’ve been married for a million years, other couples annoy me. I can only imagine the restraint that single people have to exercise in not lock and loading around them. I mean, the other night, my husband went out to dinner to our favorite restaurant. It was a standard romantic meal, cocktails, conversation, a roach on the wall which earned us a second round on the house.
So everything was great and I was feeling all fantastic and then, as we’re leaving the restaurant, I see a couple sitting kitty-corner at a table drinking champagne with their arms linked. Ok, so I’ve seen this in movies and in circus freak shows, but I’ve never seen this in real life and was sort of hoping to live out the rest of my life in that state of ignorant bliss.
Because who does that?
It can’t possibly be comfortable, what with the fear of spilling precious champagne looming over every sip. And what does it mean—that you must synchronized drink champagne with your beloved because only an animal would drink champagne without being conjoined to their mate?
What it meant to me is that I hope these people never cross my path again. Because it’s wonderful to see other people happy. But it doesn’t have to be Cirque d’Soleil happy, with props and acrobatics.
I feel the same way about cutesy pet names that couples give each other. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t care what they do in the privacy of their homes, behind closed doors. But other people shouldn’t be exposed to “butter lips” or “donkey kong” or whatever terms of perversions these hedonists choose.
And I follow my own advice. For example, the pet name that I chose for Husbandrinka is “Honey” because it’s sort of generic sweetness. Plus, it’s made by bees, so there’s this whole earth friendly aspect to my affection.
The only down side is that I hate honey.
But at least it’s not nauseating to others.
{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }
I couldn’t agree more. Now, I love my hubby but I would never cuddle up to him while drinking and risk spilling wine. That is just wrong!
Jen, buried with children´s last blog ..Want to get to Know Me Better?
Twitter: buriedwithkids
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Never had the inclination to lock and load, but do sometimes wonder why the need for such over the top PDA. Who actually are these couples trying to convince?
Dr. Leah@ http://www.singlemommyhood.com´s last blog ..When Dad unexpectedly appears
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lol. for real. i don’t so much care if they’re doin it, but that definently doesnt mean i wanna see it;)
ThatMommy´s last blog ..Absolutely Pointless Post … but you can read it anyway if ya want;)
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And sittng on the same side of the table. Uggh…You can’t even look at each other! People joked with DH and I that we were “Schmoopy” when we started dated, and it horrifies me now. No one else needs to see that!
Oh, and the drinking champagne together? Stupid. Even at your own wedding. Makes no sense at all.
LZ´s last blog ..We can dance!
Twitter: mymessyparadise
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i hate sitting on the same side of the table, unless of course, you have no choice. i hate holding hands in movies…unless i’m freezing to death and i’m snuggling for fear of turning into a popsicle. and it annoys me, the whole lovey dovey thing. ok fine, you like someone…great. you love someone…terrific. save if for the bedroom. kthnxbye
melissa´s last blog ..So, It Turns Out I’m Not Alone or Holy Crap, There Really Are Other Bloggers In My Neck Of The Woods
Twitter: rockdrool
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I confess–I totally love silly nicknames. The favorite I’ve ever been given is “Chicken Soft Taco.” Wait, maybe it’s “Honey Dearest Darling Dumpkin Face.”
The best part? Seeing the look on other peoples’ faces as they try to figure out how the heck that nickname came about.
TeacherMommy´s last blog ..It Only Took An Hour And A Half Each Way But It Totally Counts As A Road Trip When There Are Young Children Involved
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Okay, let me be the first commenter to admit it….I’ve done the whole linked arms while drinking trick. Yup. I don’t know why we did it. I think it was celebrating the world not coming to an end in 2000 (as we drank really expensive champagne). I will also admit that it was the last time (and last time for champagne too). Both of which are highly overrated.
Sincerely, Snugglepuss
Carrie Anne´s last blog ..For the Love of Stuffies
Twitter: cabadov
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Ha! So funny! I hate seeing public displays of affection – unless it’s between a mother and her child, then it is cute. What about seeing teenagers making out on street corners? I hate that! Was I guilty of that back in the day? You bet, but if I could go back and tell my teenage self something, it would be to get off the street and stop acting so stupid!
Loukia´s last blog ..The big reveal
Twitter: MrsLoulou
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Yeah – I’m not a fan of the schmoop.
My brother in law just got married this weekend – kind of a half elopment/half destination wedding thing in CA – all planned in a month.
Needless to say, we did not fly out with our three small children for a weekend jaunt. BUT of course my husband went and took our easiest child. He was also the officiant (like the get your license online kind – not the real life pastor kind). So he had to put together this whole ceremony for them incorporating their very vague but plentiful directions about Cherokee customs and Buddist traditions and general new aginess. AND he was asked to tell “their story” because according to the bride, “everyone who hears it thinks it’s the most beautiful love story.” Gag.
Just wait till they actually live together and not in two different states. Marriage? Is SO not about your beautiful love story. And now I’m officially, Sophia from the Golden Girls…
But I guess we all have our own beginnings. Whether it’s arm linked sips of champagne, passing wedding rings around so that the guests can hold them and transfer positive energy or whatever (on A BOAT no less – I would be having multiple heart attacks over that one…), or really beautiful laughter (at the expense of others) – we all end up in the same place: doing the best we can and hoping we we stay on the right side of the 50/50 chance of it all ending in divorce.
When it comes down to it, I’m putting my money on the laughs…
Twitter: BigPieceofCake
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I happen to have a couple minor pet names for my husband. Peach is the most commonly used one. I’m just not that mushy. My husband, however, is. I’m trying to break him of it, still!
Annie´s last blog ..The spies that call themselves FACEBOOK
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Marinka,
How scary that Scary Mom was reading your blog on an iPhone. . .
lizspin´s last blog ..The "a" in "ahhhhhhh"
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No. Way. I bet they just thought “let’s do it like they do at the movies” and felt all cool and stuff. But if they had seen themselves th way everyone else could see them, they would have recoiled in horror (of spilling precious liquid) and embarrassment. ’cause some things only belong in movies.
Elisa´s last blog ..Stamp of approval: fabulous scarves you can wear year-round
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I fully, and I mean fully support these thoughts. I can’t believe you actually saw a couple with their arms interlinked drinking champaign. I hope to never see that in real life.
What a great guest post. Jill, you have fabulous taste. I just recently found her blog and added it to my reader. I had been missing out!
angie´s last blog ..Some good news, some bad news.
Twitter: 7clowncircus
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This made me laugh out loud. It also reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry and his girlfriend were calling each other shmoopy and George and Elaine were nauseated over it.
I HATE too much PDA, especially when it’s gratuitous and obviously a show.
Sandy´s last blog ..I’m an internet celebrity…who are you?
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Jeff and I were pretty nauseating in our early days. Though we never linked arms to drink champagne, I could almost see that happening. We were way over the top. These days, those people totally sicken me. I wish I could feel nostalgic for them, but I just want to chuck a tomato their way.
I do call Jeff, “Love”, like I am British. I have no idea where it came from, but it’s the name that stuck. That’s pretty bad, huh?
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Marinka Reply:
July 6th, 2009 at 11:49 am
The only reason that you can get away with calling him “Luv” is because I am certain that you do it with a sense of irony.
Marinka´s last blog ..uPhone
Twitter: MarinkaNYC
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My husband & I never did the linked-arm drinking, but he did once give me an upside-down margarita at a fraternity party. I fell in love on the spot. Then threw up.
Wendi´s last blog ..Are you there Wanda? It’s me, Wendi.
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Not only is it nauseating, but it also makes me uncomfortable. But that could just be me.
I call my husband honey. That’s as far as I go. With kids around, I’m lucky to even have my hand held anymore.
Crystal´s last blog ..Weekly Winners Vol. 2: Damn Tourist Edition
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I so wish we could be friends in real life. Because we could have so much fun going out and making fun of people.
debbie´s last blog ..What to film…and what to not
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I know! It’s gross.
Also: people putting mushy messages about their significant other on Facebook. Makes me want to barf every time.
Mwa´s last blog ..Happy birthday, America – from Belgium
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Hilarious and so honest and thought-provoking at the same time!
Melissa´s last blog ..Good Morning Granola
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Yep, thats why I call my hubby ‘Ass-hat’. :)
Schmoochiepoo´s last blog ..In search of Oncorhynchus mykiss
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I call my husband Snookums Snugglebottom in public. But only because that’s his real name. Tut tut, what were his parents thinking.
Sophie, Inzaburbs´s last blog ..The One Where They Grow Up Fast
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The only nickname my husband has for me is buddy, which I guess some people find offensive, or are offended for my sake, which is a waste of time. This guy once jokingly called his wife buddy after hearing my husband say it. She was peeved.
Nicole´s last blog ..Food, Glorious Food
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Blech. I am not a fan of public affection.
But I love Kate’s (Big Piece of Cake) book, I mean comment. She cracks me up.
Kirsten´s last blog ..Confessions of a Beach Hater
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I’m with you. Definitely irritating. Maybe I found that kind of thing sweet once.. a long time ago? Now it just puts me off my dinner. And really I’d rather just eat my dinner without the performance.
Lady Mama´s last blog ..The Mac Genius
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Ok i am glad i am not the only one who gets grossed out by this. there was a couple kissing and whispering during a movie i saw and it grossed me out so much. if i could have i would have changed seats.
Aimee´s last blog ..where’s the pain?
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I am so not into PDA at all. Sure I’ll maybe hold hubby’s hand, or give him a little peck on the cheek if he’s being especially nice for whatever reason.. That’s about as far as I’ll go.
Once, while in line at Disneyland, there was this couple in front of us. The woman was maybe in her 40’s, and the man was a bit older. She was making obscene gestures at him, (pierced) tongue out and all. Later they were full on making out. I was so beyond grossed out, not to mention the fact that there were KIDS. EVERYWHERE. Ugh.
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They’re the same people who also sit on the same side of the booth at restaurants together. Grates on my nerves!
christy´s last blog ..There may not be crying in baseball…
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