Mommy Porn (for the rest of us)

131 Comments

I found myself at a party last weekend, full of couples and families. Once the kids were out of earshot, conversation turned, like it has so many times over the past few months, to Fifty Shades of fucking Grey. The room quickly divided between the couples whose sex lives it changed for the positive and those whose it hasn’t.

Sadly for my husband, we remained on the latter side, staring back at the rosy cheeked (pun, intended) and giddy couples. I have heard again and again from a nauseating number of friends and family how utterly amazing the book has been for them and I’m sick to death of it. I guess I’m really just a simple girl at heart, because it doesn’t take rough bondage and fancy equipment to turn me on.

Here’s my version of mommy porn.

Anyone else need a cold shower?

Comments

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  1. 9

    Christina Baglivi Tinglof says

    Amen! How about “Let me cook dinner tonight, honey,” instead of my three least favorite words in the world, “What’s for dinner?”

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      • 11

        Kristin says

        I told my husband someone needed to open a restaurant called I Don’t Know or I Don’t Care. Everytime I ask him what he wants for dinner, that’s his answer. It drives me up the wall!

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    • 13

      kath says

      ha! when my hubby and I get into whats for dinner conversation it follows with one of us asking “dog, or cat?” some night, it’s a cat night, some, a dog night. Before people freak out, A cat dinner is something that is ether fish, or chicken, a dog dinner is pretty much beef.(not the dog, or the cat)

      “Let me rub that for you” is my favorite line. Pretty much it’s ether my feet, or my back after a long day.

      :D

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  2. 14

    MommaC says

    Hot and bothered… LOL
    I still haven’t gotten around to reading 50 Shades. Instead a better written less freaky book called Butterfly was suggested by a friend — so far it’s excellent.

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  3. 17

    Gel says

    Fifty Shades Trilogy is just really a good read. The story behind the Fifty shades is too interesting to unfold besides his 50 shades of fuckedupness. It’s a very good story not just a “mom porn” as they quote. :)

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  4. 18

    Marta says

    I haven’t heard of a single person that the books life changed. At all. I’m concerned about your friends sex lives prior to this book. Granted I never finished it because I got bored with the awful characters. I MUCH rather have your porn.

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  5. 19

    Chantelle says

    I still haven’t read that book. A friend of mine just recently loaned me a copy, but I haven’t started it yet. From what I have heard about it, it doesn’t sound like my thing, but I plan to read it just so I can see what all the hype is about. I do however like your idea of porn. All that’s missing is a back rub, for me, not him.

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