7 Motherhood Terms That Make Me Crazy


At 37, I was a little late to the whole mothering gig. During my first ultrasound, the OB, whilst checking my lady credentials, used the term elderly primagravida. “Did he say ‘elderly’? What exactly is going on down there?” I wondered. Was my uterus sprouting chin hairs? Did my vagina mail him $5 for Christmas? Then the OB gently explained that “elderly primigravida” refers to a pregnant woman over the age of 34. Great, so my crotchal region is one chip short of “BINGO!”

Needless to say, I’ve had strong feelings about what I call “mom lingo” ever since. Here’s a short list of motherhood terms and phrases that need to go to hell and die:

1. Baby Bump.  I’m not really sure what was wrong with “belly” or “stomach,” but someone somewhere decided that pregnancy didn’t sound close enough to a to a jungle disease. “Aww, look at your baby bump! You should probably treat that with a little benzoyl peroxide or something.” or “Her baby bump is totes the cutest.” Please. Just. Stop it.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

2. Pump and Dump. I am actually guilty of using this phrase, but I was strongly influenced by a fishbowl-sized mojito. Look, I get that this term isn’t just cutesy; it’s also accurate. Had a few drinks? Pump your breast milk and then toss that White Russian down the drain. The problem is that every time I hear “pump and dump,” I imagine some poor mom hooked up to a breast pump as she squats on a toilet. And now you do too. Let’s come up with some other phrase, shall we? Maybe “saving the baby’s liver” or “absolving myself of guilt about drinking a fishbowl-sized mojito”?

3. Push Present. Okay, first, when did this become a thing? A gift for having a baby? I agree that labor and delivery are, well, laborious, but it’s not like moms are doing dads a favor. Once pregnant, that baby’s gotta come out. True fact, ladies.

But beyond my beef with the very idea of giving a woman a necklace or a fancy handbag to say, “Thanks for birthing,” I take issue with the term. Like “pump and dump,” a very particular image comes to mind when I hear “push present.”

Picture it: A woman in stirrups, seized by contractions. She howls. She grunts. She bears down. “I can see it!” shouts the doctor. A cheery burst of confetti shoots from the woman’s hooha. And then, joy of joys, out pops a neatly wrapped box containing a blouse from Ann Taylor LOFT and a comfy pair of linen capris. Congratulations! It’s a new outfit. Sorry, no returns.

This is so stupid that I can’t even . . .

4. DD, DS and DH. Are you kidding me with this? Dear son, dear daughter, and dear husband? How about “son,” “daughter,” and “husband”? Too many letters? How about “kids” and “spouse”? How about “family”? How about we not make our loved ones sound like government agencies? How about you don’t force me to refer to my family members as “dear”? I always love my family. However, I do not always like my family. In all fairness, my family does not always like me. Sure, sometimes I’m my husband’s DW, but a lot of the time I’m his “OMGWR?” (Oh my god, woman, really?) or even just his long, defeated sigh, which kind of defies an acronym.

No more. This is dumb.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

5. Mucus Plug. Not slang, I know. But this is just way, way, way too accurate. I’m actually lobbying to come up with some euphemism to replace this one. “Baby stopper” has a certain appeal. “Stork cork” maybe? I’m open to suggestions.

6. Effaced. Again, this is not slang, but this term is misleading. Effacement is when your cervix thins or “ripens” before delivery. Until I took an actual birthing class, I thought being effaced meant that the baby was, well, see the picture below? Then you get the idea.

effacement (1)

I’m not sure why we can’t just say “thinning” instead of “effacement.” When you’re 9 months pregnant, it would be really nice to hear that something is getting thinner, even if that something is a delicate little pad of skin that’s about to be massacred by your precious miracle.

7. Fur Baby. Look, folks, I know you love your pets. I love my pet too. She’s a member of our family. We feed her better than we feed ourselves. We let her musk up all the couches and beds. We make peace with the tumbleweed-sized fur balls blowing through our home. But a “fur baby” she is not.

Advertisement - Continue Reading Below

First of all, unlike my actual baby, the dog has the decency to crap outside in the grass. And unlike my actual baby, the dog is content to sleep most of the day and night. And unlike my actual baby, the dog did not suckle from my bosom and thus turn that bosom into a deflated heap of chest flesh. However, both my son and my dog do enjoy chewing on a good stick. But really, the similarities end there. Unless you’re nursing an Ewok, no more “fur baby,”

And that’s it. That’s my list. If you’ve used one of the above terms, I’ve thought less of you.

(But, for what it’s worth, I just ate a slice of American cheese and a handful of Tostitos for breakfast.)

Related post: 13 Things Non-Parents Should Never Say to Parents

About the writer

Jessica Rapisarda wanted to be Donna Summer when she grew up. So, naturally, she studied poetry. Failing to make bank as a poet, Jess gave in to motherhood, humor writing, and snack chip addiction. She blogs about parenting, guilt, and other redundancies at Welcome to the Bundle. You can also find her on Facebook or follow her on Twitter.

From Around the Web


Suzi 7 months ago

Prego is Italian for “you’re welcome,” FYI. Puts a different spin on it.

nancy 8 months ago

If the terms annoy you read them this way, Damn Daughter, Damn Son, and Damn Husband…not so annoying anymore, lol

Amanda Tyler Fullerton 8 months ago

Oh my, so true! Haha!

Helen Russo 8 months ago

yep, pretty accurate, and I definitely agree about push present! I thought the present was that screaming, red-faced bundle on the other side of that stork cork!

Steph 8 months ago

I have only ever heard pump and dump to describe a time when someone is having diarrhea and vomiting at the same time. Still unpleasant though.

Samantha Reagin 8 months ago

How about referring to your 3 year old as a 36month old! Over the age of 1, they lose the month status. LOL

Joy Hammond Nelson 8 months ago

Why is it impossible to read a humorous article, or any article on a mommy site, without the breastfeeding war starting? The article comments on a term related to breastfeeding, that’s it. And for everyone who thinks the author is hormonal, bitchy, etc… you’ve lost your sense of humor.

Joy Hammond Nelson 8 months ago

Um…this article isn’t about breastfeeding. There is one comment about a breastfeeding term. That’s it, that’s all.

Joy Hammond Nelson 8 months ago

What happened to flowers for mom and a stuffed animal for baby? You wanted a baby and now you expect to be compensated for it with an expensive gift? I’m definitely not bitter but any woman who expects a push present may just be spoiled and self-centered.

Martha McGlynn 8 months ago

I’m marveling over “push present”-how demeaning to the miracle you just accomplished!

Kristen Stevenson 8 months ago

We went on a Babymoon! Why not?! And we did it for $300! No one said it needs to be expensive.

Kristen Stevenson 8 months ago

I love saying hubby!

Kristen Stevenson 8 months ago

baby bump!

Amy Conner 8 months ago

I think this would be alot cuter if it didn’t include medical terms…

Monica 8 months ago

As I sit here, taking my time out, I discover your page. Thank you. Too funny and truthful . . . “turn that bosom into a deflated heap of chest flesh.”

WDJ 8 months ago

If a child is 2yr11mos, I’d think *almost 3 years* would make much more sense. LoL

Erin Miller 8 months ago

I haaaaaaaate number 1 and am so glad I’m not alone!

Val Lepage McCann Missaoui 8 months ago

Why is pumping and dumping irrelevant when drinking?

Amy Elizabeth Wise 8 months ago

“Chest flesh” is so eerily accurate….

Amanda H 8 months ago

one guy said that to me .. I said yeah right!! glowing…more like sweating to death in august 6 months pregnant!!!

Amanda H 8 months ago

lies! i joked until i was 6 cm and the contractions were 5sec between ,granted had a 2nd degree tear and a 17 hr labor.it hurt alot!! lets just say i’d rather get me jaw kicked out of place again than give birth anytime soon… i did all natural too btw

Cyd Melcher 8 months ago

“Bio-mom”. It makes the poor woman sound like a terrarium.

Kim Doner McSorley 8 months ago

Fur babies

Audra Boren Karlinsey 8 months ago

Me too! Who even cares!

Haylee Blake Johnson 8 months ago

Oh brother! People are way too uptight about things! The only thing that makes me crazy are articles like this!!

Nicole 8 months ago

Once I came across a site for pregnant women in which the members referred to sex as “snuggle buggle.” What.the.fuck. I also hate the term “preggo.” We’re having babies, but we don’t have to talk like babies!

T S 8 months ago

So many of us can’t have children and have almost died trying. Fur baby is a term used by women who have given everything to have an actual child but aren’t as lucky as the rest of you. Maybe you think you are being funny, but it’s just plain insensitive and mean. Sorry I’m not a “real” woman that can’t have a “real” baby, but my dogs are the closest thing to a real baby I will ever have. This post just shows how many women take for granted their ability to carry a child and rub it in the faces of those that can’t by mocking their attempts at soothing their broken hearts. This doesn’t surprise me, but add to your list “anything an ungrateful mother says to a woman who can’t have kids.”

Daniella 8 months ago

Maybe I’m the only one, but I wasn’t upset by any of these terms. They don’t bother me. Don’t get me wrong i was confused with the acronyms at first but now it doens’t faze me at all. I call my pets my fur babies…I had a baby bump, and I was preggers. I also got a handgun as a push present that i wasn’t expecting, but it was nice, be. it was really a mom present because it’s my first child. I think there are worse things and more serious things that should annoy us.

Melanie Grillo Rivelli 8 months ago

Baby moon is another one. Hate it!

Jennifer Macdonald 8 months ago

GOODNESS moms…. dont any of you know how to have fun. .. jesus… I promise the nsa is not and i repeat not looking at your every post judging you as a parent. Getting your self all worked up and looking down your metaphorical nose at people and articles on FACEBOOK is not gonna win you some kind of award… you will still be the mom you were before you posted on here… so smile… dont take everything so seriously and laugh at yourself…

Jennifer Macdonald 8 months ago

^^ first baby? ??

Alana Pace-Robillard 8 months ago

#4 and #7 are the equivalent to nails down a chalkboard for me.

MyLove M. Barnett 8 months ago

Once upon a time in an interweb far far away, there were character restrictions. And mobile devices that didn’t possess QWERTY keyboards. These are all hold overs from that era.

Nicole 8 months ago

Have you ever seen Kingpin? If not, please YouTube Kingpin “pump and dump” scene.It will ruin that phrase in the worst way possible. Lmao.

Rebecca Chilson Lawrence 8 months ago

#7 for me

Amity A Nash Barboza 8 months ago

Yep! My son was always my “little guy”. Now he’s 14 and taller than me, so it doesn’t sound quite right anymore. But in my heart he always will be………

Loan Pham Lynch 8 months ago

Baby Daddy. I hate…I mean…loathe this word. How about child’s father? I do agree with most of this. I am very annoyed at the whole DH, DS thing because seriously, how hard is it to type a few more letters for form an actual word? Push present…oh boy..really..I am surprised that Hallmark hasn’t banked on that one yet.

Jessica Rapisarda 8 months ago

Howdy! I’m the ignorant woman. I wrote this entirely in jest. I breastfed. I drank alcohol. Sometimes I breastfed WHILE having a beer. (True story.) The funny combo of words in “pump and dump” is what made me include the term. This post really wasn’t meant to be a primer on nursing. I’m a breastfeeding advocate, but it’s just hard to write a good joke while also including a La Leche League disclaimer. (Full disclosure: I also wish someone had bought me a push present from Ann Taylor LOFT because my maternity style was pretty ratty.)

Susie Marie 8 months ago

Some of these are ridiculous. It IS a mucus plug and it is effacement. They are the general medical terms used by birthing staffs for decades…. My husband brought me a cute little teddy bear with flowers and balloons for my hospital room when our daughter was finally born. It wasn’t a “push” present. It was a simple gesture of his love and respect for me. And why shouldn’t mom be celebrated a little when the baby is born? A new outfit is a great idea! Especially for that new body she will be sporting on the way home. She certainly earned it! … Now me, my biggest pet peeve of mom and dad words?? Baby momma.. Baby daddy.. Baby anything relative.. They have a name. Show enough respect to use it. If not for you, but for that child you helped create.

Tianna Pearson 8 months ago

How about when the father “babysits” seriously.

Megan Touchberry 8 months ago

I hope for your sake you manage to avoid it….but if you’re pregnant, well, some “genius” will inevitably call you that.
To this day “Meg-o” has stuck with that group of ‘friends’, they just dropped the preggo part. Or there’s always “Meggie-poo”, “Meggles”, “Schmeggles”, “Mega-tron”……I could go on and on lol

Peggy Sue Rider 8 months ago

Couldn’t agree more!

Annette Ducatelli 8 months ago


DA 8 months ago

Just to clarify: “Pump & dump” does not rid your breast milk of alcohol. As long as there’s alcohol in your blood, there’s alcohol in your breast milk. Mamas only need to “pump and dump” to relieve engorgement. Otherwise, you’ll just have to use frozen breast milk or formula until the alcohol clears your system. No need to toss that milk! :)

Jennifer Meschino 8 months ago

I really hate the infantile language that we’re expected to use as mothers. I sometimes feel out of place referring to my 10 year olds as “my children” or “my sons” instead of “my babies.”. They’re my babies in my mind but calling them that would embarrass them.

Jennifer Meschino 8 months ago

Acronyms were supposed to save bandwidth back in the dialup days.

Jodi Shaffer Nelson 8 months ago

Right on! Love this!

Mandy 8 months ago

Ugg. I can’t stand it when someone refers to breast milk as “boob juice” or ” liquid gold”.

Evie 8 months ago

Push presents… so dumb. I didn’t get one from my husband, nor did I want one. My sister, meanwhile, talked about push presents for MONTHS before delivering…. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Sandra Hurdis Finigan 8 months ago

As I have said there are people now bragging about going on their Babymoon when they get pregnant. One last hurrah as it were. It is not the time after the child is born. It is being used as an excise for an expensive holiday.

Brandy Hoyt 8 months ago

Also bad “we’re pregnant.” No, she’s pregnant not both of you

Brandy Hoyt 8 months ago

Chest flesh is pretty gross to ugh! Go ahead and add it to your own list lady

Kazia Jordan Wagner 8 months ago

I hate that one!! Or hubz

Lysa 8 months ago

My second labor wasn’t as bad as my first, and I didn’t get any meds, but I still think that if my husband had tried to kiss my forehead I would have bitten his face. No one needs to be near my face while I’m in labor.

Beth Stolte 8 months ago

How does #3 even exist? One not on the list is “BD” or baby dance. The act of having sex to conceive. Gross, just gross.

Keith 8 months ago

To those,who hate fur baby, or more accurately, referring to pets as babies; some people, who can’t biologically have kids and who can’t afford to adopt, refer to their pets as babies because that I as close to the own baby that they will get. Have a heart and deal with it.

Sydney Williamson 8 months ago

If you’d read the above link you’d know less than 2% of alcohol consumed by mom makes its way into her breastmilk. There no need to throw milk away. If it’s not meant to be a “breastfeeding informational blog” then they shouldn’t talk about breastfeeding. And no, scary mommy is not satire, you’re thinking of the onion. It’s supposed to be a community of moms, and just bc I commented on a post of theirs doesn’t mean I’m not a real person who should just be made fun of for trying to share information. There is a lot of breastfeeding misinformation out there and the only way to combat it is to provide the evidence based information so hopefully other moms can see it, which is what I tried to do. I’m sure each of you know of some untrue myth that it annoys you when people keep saying over and over. Just trying to share information for moms who might want it.

Ann 8 months ago

Can’t stand the term “we’re pregnant “

Jennifer Cortes 8 months ago

… Baby Bump made you cringe…?

Liz Brown 8 months ago

#4. All day.

Jamie David Scallion 8 months ago

Primigravida, effacement, mucus plug, etc..all those terms are used in Obstetrics…get over it..i’ve never seen someone so ‘offended’ over stuff…bitter maybe?

Nicole Sloan 8 months ago

I ❤️ my fur baby and I will not stop calling him that.
FUR BABY! ❤️❤️❤️

Michelle 8 months ago

Your mucus plug comment made me laugh! Seriously who likes to hear the word mucus ever! I think next pregnancy when my doctor says that term I’ll just reply with ‘oh you mean the stork cork?’ I love that term:)

Gary Mathews 8 months ago

I’m still laughing after reading this, I’m a guy obviously and have ZERO clue what goes on in a woman’s body during and after pregnancy (and if I did I would be rich writing a tell all book). Love the no nonsense approach though!

Becky Kilpatrick 8 months ago

Definitely #7. Your pet is not the same as my (or anyone’s) child…there is no comparison. Drives me batty…lol.

Tracey Lynne 8 months ago

I think it’s a bit insensitive to tell a childless person their pet isn’t their baby.
I also hate the whole months thing after a year. 18 months? No, a year and half, knock it off.

Tara Riverso 8 months ago

“Play date”…common. It’s not a fucking date. It’s snot nosed kids PLAYING

Sheila 8 months ago

We can safely retire “pump and dump” because not only is it an awful phrase, you don’t actually have to do it. The milk already in your breasts clears alcohol at the same rate as your bloodstream. You don’t need to throw it out, just wait till you’re sober and your milk will be alcohol-free too.

If they could also stop calling a miscarriage a “spontaneous abortion” … that would be great, thanks.

Emily Terwilliger Levatte 8 months ago

Not crazy about “fur baby”, but I *really* don’t get her issues with the rest. How in the world is “baby bump” offensive???

Kelly Seavey Jewell 8 months ago

I think push present is the worst! Since when isnt the baby gift enough!

Heidi Clark 8 months ago

My pets are my fur babies and I have human children too. They are my family. And I do know the difference. Though I get why it bugs people.

Roe Minaya 8 months ago

I hate fur baby! Ugh! I love my dog too, but that is just not a child! People with only pets are constantly comparing their pet to people’s children. Just stop.

Lisa David 8 months ago

Number 7. Can’t. Stand. It. !!!

Krista Kovacs 8 months ago

I love these! Agree with all.. Especially the push present one!

Nicole Slaughter 8 months ago

yes!!! #4 and #7…i couldn’t agree more! please..just…stop…

Rachel Anderson 8 months ago

This facebook page has some of the whiniest, negitive, and judging posts. Scary Mommy does fit. I’ll be removing. Try more uplifting articles, blogs, ect. It’s just rather gross.

Leigh 8 months ago

You forgot to mention moms referring to their young children as “littles”. Not sure why, but that is like nails on a chalkboard for me!

Milie Leila 8 months ago

Preggo is horrible OMG. I hate “How’s the bump?” as well

Aaron Hopfinger 8 months ago

Number 7 annoys the crap out of me.! Equally annoying is feather baby…wth?!

Amy Witham Canniff 8 months ago

Somebody owes me 4 push presents!!

Daisy 8 months ago

I can’t stand when people refer to babies, or anything, as stinking cute. Those terms do not go together. Say they are freaking cute, damn cute, you can even drop the F bomb. Anything but stinking cute.

Melissa Baber Biddle 8 months ago

4&6. Oh haha 4&6

Mc 8 months ago

yes please on the fur baby one! I actually had a (childless, of course) friend once tell me that taking care of her puppy was just like taking care of a newborn! When I delicately said, “I don’t think it’s JUSTO like a newborn”, she insisted! I’m still laughing about it. Can’t wait for her to have an actual newborn =P

Amie Reid 8 months ago

DH, DD and DS have been around since 1995 when forums were started and the likes of “parentsplace.com” when we all were just new to sharing info about ourselves on the net, and it was all public access without security limits. No one would mention names, just “Darling husband, daughter or son.” That said, 20 years later I think we can give these a rest!!

Crystal Ulen 8 months ago

Preggo and kiddos drive me up a wall.

Shannon Corinne 8 months ago

Didn’t even cover terms that I can’t stand d.

Jennifer Ybarra 8 months ago

This is funny!

Tara Sander 8 months ago

Baby bump doesn’t bother me. It’s a bump caused by or full of baby. Makes sense.

What does irk me is when someone says the baby is in my stomach. No, I didn’t eat a baby, so there is most certainly NOT a baby in my stomach!! Lol!

Matt Jacky Pileggi 8 months ago

I guess I am pretty tolerant because I don’t hate any of these 😉

Valerie Munson 8 months ago

Fur Baby drives me crazy!

Betsy Wells 8 months ago

Love this

Kristy 8 months ago

I’d like to add “fall/fell pregnant.” As a 36 year old lesbian who’s been trying to get (geriatrically) pregnant for 8 months, I loathe the phrase. It makes it sound like it’s as easy as falling off a log. “Well then I fell pregnant with my DS…”

It also sounds like you fell down while pregnant… Either way I absolutely hate this phrase.

Mara Slater 8 months ago

I love the last three. I have an incompetent cervix and when pregnant have to have all sorts of ridiculous check ups and injections. But explaining to someone who doesn’t know or has never had children is just ridiculous. So I would add incompetent cervix to that list…. and I just had Doritos for breakfast :) good to know I’m not alone. Lol!

RonandKellie Vickery 8 months ago

Thanks a bunch for number 2. It’s also not lost on me that #2 is about #2. Smh

Katie Lazzelle-Baily 8 months ago

I am tired of seeing DS and such on forums. Just say son or daughter.

Val Catlin Payne 8 months ago

Best “push present”? Mesh panties and that hospital issue pad/ice pack thingy.

Carolina Dunton 8 months ago

Love number 4 & 7. I can’t stand it when people refer to their pets as fur babies!

Laura 8 months ago

I suppose we’ll have to agree to disagree on the “fur baby” part. I have 3 fur babies and they will always be my babies. Just because they’re not human doesn’t make them any less my babies.

Micah Yancey Rust 8 months ago

I don’t like ‘sippy cup’ or ‘paci’. Those words, among many others, irk me!

Alyssa Becton 8 months ago

I’m guilty of 1 and 2 lol

Camie 8 months ago

There is no need to “pump and dump”. Please do not tell women it is something they need to do when they drink. It is fine to drink in moderation while breastfeeding. The alcohol is motabloized out of your milk just as it is in your blood regardless the % of alcohol is very low and is not dangerous for a baby.

Aline Soares 8 months ago

Push present is beyond ridiculous!

Hassina Kajee 8 months ago

No. 6

Marissa N Derek Shehee 8 months ago

I’m all about that damn push present, 24 hours of labor and the nine months of my body being rented out sucked. I agree that a lot of the terms suck, but this article is so unoriginal I. Almost. Puked. (I’m as sick of that little trend as I am hash tagging).

vic 8 months ago

Ugh I’ve always hated fur baby…is ridiculous and dh ds dd, tho I’m guilty of using them just to fit in on mommy websites

Jessica Yaden Tarpley 8 months ago


Michelle Kahana 8 months ago

Take a chill pill.

Crys Carroll 8 months ago

i think a lot of times people do that for milestones and possibly for clothing. 6 months, 9 months, 12 months, 18 months. ..they don’t say a year and half, so people may automatically think in terms of the clothing size.

Charlene Bruyns 8 months ago

Can’t stand number 4.

Victoria Loce 8 months ago

Funny article, but I just have to say, I love the term “baby bump” because it allowed me to embrace the new shape I acquired as a pregnant lady. It meant so much to me because we revamped the way we experience pregnancy – so much has changed since our moms had us, and I really enjoyed being a part of bump culture.

Andi Green 8 months ago

Many women cannot have children, so they have fur babies. Nothing wrong with it. Just because you popped out you mucus plug doesn’t make you god

Crys Carroll 8 months ago

never called the belly a baby bump. i referred to it as a xenomorph or a chest-burster for the two trimesters. then my husband started calling it “spud” and then my belly became known as “the potato” …not sure which is worse. :)

Crys Carroll 8 months ago

when i was pregnant, people sent me mom-to-be cards. i’ve been a mom for nine years to my cats, both rescues, they also rescued me back through some really rough times, so the bond with them is something that i can’t begin to explain. you either get it or you don’t.

Nicole Berninger Peace 8 months ago

#3… I hate everything about this concept.

Jamie Girty 8 months ago

I always wondered what DD, DS & DH meant.

Liz McAllister 8 months ago

Yea right. I’m not waiting to have some drinks until I’m done bf. I waited long enough while I was pregnant. I’m not a big drinker. But a glass of wine is nice. Margarita maybe. Sangria.

Liz McAllister 8 months ago

Uhh. Your baby will eat poop if it’s there. Trust me

Liz McAllister 8 months ago

I think bc there are still a lot of developmental milestones in a short time. Being 12 months and being 18 months are very different when you’re under two. Being 444 months and 456 months- not so much. Don’t get me wrong. I hate it too. My son is 14 months. I say he’s a year old. But I get why people say it at that age

Liz McAllister 8 months ago

Anyone else watch the league and think of the mother in law checking the breast milk with strips

Liz McAllister 8 months ago

Ok. I agree with most of those. But not the correct usage of medical terms. Not wanting to learn what something means or how to use it properly doesn’t mean we should just not use it. That’s how we ended up with a trillion ways to say penis and vagina. Just say penis and vagina

Mallory Evans-Coyne 8 months ago

Facebook is not covered by constitutional free speech (which is why people can be fired from their jobs for saying stupid things on FB and/or posting inappropriate photographs) and “free country” isn’t exactly a useful argument when you could be talking to anyone from almost any country in the world on social media, but I digress.

You want to put your opinion on here, in some ways offensively (examples: “Dear person with no babies and a “fur baby”…you don’t even know.” ” ^Still not the same. Never ever will be.” ” A human baby is a totally different thing. Not sure how anyone can’t comprehend that or distinguish between the two.”) and then later try to hide behind your freedom of speech. Even if FB was covered by the Bill of Rights, saying something offensive doesn’t mean you don’t have to deal with the consequences of people getting angry or upset – it only means the government can’t imprison you for it. You say something offensive on social media, expect some backlash.

You’re absolutely entitled to share your opinion on disliking something and why, I’m entitled to dislike your opinion and tell you why. That’s simple debate.

Jesse Leckie 8 months ago

This was hilarious! I had to show my husband. He giggled at quite a few too

Wylie Chambers 8 months ago

Guilty of the “furbaby” thing.. and i wont say sorry.. but my boobs are fine..lol..

Sonja Elizabeth Sorensen 8 months ago

I disagree with fur baby. Pet is not what the dog who lives with me is. He is my furry baby.

Rebecca Meinzer 8 months ago

I was wondering what the women in my Catholic Mom’s group meant with this one! and now ugh! We lovingly refer to the children as the boy and the girl! and hubby often calls me woman! LOL!

Kelly Lynn Fitzgerald 8 months ago

I just wanted to comment on how cheated I feel that no confetti magically popped out of my vajay while giving birth and my only “push presents” were the children I pushed out! Lol

Kristen Duvall 8 months ago

Yeah, except for that part where you say “Dear person with no babies..” You actually are pushing your opinions on others. I wouldn’t have said anything if it was simply you explaining why they’re different for you, but lecturing the rest of us on not knowing comes off as incredibly sanctimonious. You don’t know our stories either.

It’s a free country to say what you want, but just as you’re free to have an opinion, we are free to say we disagree. It goes both ways.

Melissa Ross 8 months ago

I can’t believe preggers or prego isn’t in there.

Kaara Moyers 8 months ago

Receiving one? Fine. Expecting one and getting pissed if it doesn’t happen? Bitchy. Bitching because it’s not what you wanted? Super mega entitled bitchy.

Christina Richmond 8 months ago

LMAO! Yesss!
Also… STORK CORK. Ladies, we need to make this a thing.

Aicila Dawn 8 months ago

I’ve never heard of it. Is this a joke? I was supposed to get a present?! Wtf? Lol

Aicila Dawn 8 months ago

What do you say to women that can’t conceive? Just let ’em have “fur babies”. Who the hell really cares?

Kelsey Phillips Lewis 8 months ago

I’m so with her on the DS, DD, DH crap….it’s so annoying. I’ve never understood why it’s so hard to say son, daughter, husband, etc.

Kaara Moyers 8 months ago

I don’t *say* them out loud, but I’ll use them when I’m typing, for brevity.

Meredith Walther Carlone 8 months ago

Ha! I had no idea what those letters meant. This article confirmed it & it’s dumb!! BD… Please!

Meredith Walther Carlone 8 months ago

Number 4. She’s so right! It’s just stupid!

Melissa Kunkel Deutsch 8 months ago

Wow. People are interesting and getting so upset and pointing fingers over semantics. Obviously is a free country and how dare anyone tell anyone else how to feel, say or do. And how DARE anyone assume other people’s life situations. Everyone has a right to their feelings and opinions, I simply expressed mine. My son and my dog are not the same to me. To ME. We’re all different…just saying it bothers ME, normally I don’t say anything and just realize that’s another view on life I can’t embrace. You don’t know my story and I don’t know yours. Bless you all…enjoy your ‘kids’…no matter what species they are! :) Facebook is crazy for blowing things out of proportion.

Tammy Dianocky 8 months ago

I like stork cork!

Mc D Britton 8 months ago

Haaaaaaaaahaaaa needed that chuckle!

Mary 8 months ago

I loved every word! You made my day! Push Present makes me sick. There aren’t enough diamonds in the world for those of us that failed at pushing and end up getting our guts sliced open. I am not bitter. I just think that if you and the baby make it out alive, that is the damn present! Plus, I like to pick out my own presents! Also, doesn’t your partner deserve a present for pretending you did not shit all over the birthing bed? Just sayin’. And, can we add Just sayin’ to the list of things we are never going to say again?

Christine Bunnell Davis 8 months ago

Number 7 irks me every time I see it. And push present? Really? Someone owes me 6 presents. Also should be included “One and Done”– always said smugly. It feels like judgement on a larger family–IMHO.

Mrs N Muller 8 months ago

Nails on a chalkboard = haptodysphoria ‘

Vicki Collard Patterson 8 months ago

I would like to add “I love you To the moon and back”…..why just to the moon and back ? Why not further? Why not to infinity and beyond? Why is there a limit on your love???

Evelyn Schwenke 8 months ago


Jessica Brown 8 months ago

3 and 5 had me laughing pretty hard. xD

Marieand Levi Smith 8 months ago

because selfish

sara 8 months ago


Mallory Evans-Coyne 8 months ago

Yeah, you’re right, Melissa. Some of us “don’t even know” because we can’t.

For some, calling your cat/dog/iguana a “kid” helps take the edge off of finally realizing you will probably never have your own children. They know that that animal is not the same as having a human child but for many, it’s as close as they may be able to get. You can retort with, “Well you can always adopt!” No, it’s not really that simple, either. Adoption is a very long, grueling process that incurs lots of fees, can be rejected for any reason, or even reversed, much to the chagrin of the adoptive parents AND the child, if the child is old enough to know what’s happening.

I find it incredibly sad how many people get upset about something that literally has nothing to do with them. If someone calling their dog their daughter caused you physical anguish, that would be one thing, but you’re just trying to police what other people can say/feel because something annoys you.

Deal with it.

Andrea Hunter 8 months ago

Omg! Yes. Number 3 like actually? Your BABY is your ‘push present’. Best. Gift. Ever. And number 4, super annoying.

Jo Besana 8 months ago

Thanks for the tip on effacement versus thinning. I’m a midwife and I will use this one!!

Shelly Schitzerpantz 8 months ago

I never did the weeks after one month. And as far as months, that stopped once she turned one.
If she was 1yr and 2months, I would tell the strangers who asked her age,”she’s one.” They don’t need any more than that.

Kimberley Bartone Henson 8 months ago

When I hear pump & dump I think stock market hype scheme.

Morgan Kaye Breeding 8 months ago

Ignorant: lacking knowledge or information as to a particular subject or fact

Jamie Lynch 8 months ago

Lol amazing

Samantha Chavez 8 months ago

I do call my daughter my little girl, but I don’t call my boys my little men, I call them my little guys though.

Shelly Schitzerpantz 8 months ago

I can handle the rest, it’s #4 that gets me.

Kimberley Bartrum 8 months ago

You don’t even have to wait – unless you’re *ridiculously* hammered, the amount of alcohol that makes it into your blood/milk is less than the amount that’s present in ordinary orange juice. Something like 0.08% iirc. No need to interrupt feeding at all (so long as you’re sober enough to care for the baby safely).

Sarah Yineman 8 months ago

I actually have a friend who uses fur babies all the time. She even said she loves her cats just as much as mothers love their kids. No, just no.

Sage Gordon 8 months ago

I totally say hubby, but thanks to you I will now also say gagpuke.

Courtney Van Dusen 8 months ago

Agreed about referring to a baby by name before they’re born. I changed my babies’ names so many times before birth it would have been confusing for everyone. And I wanted to see the sweet little face and (call me selfish/crazy) be the first to call my babies by their given names.

Joanna 8 months ago

I think “hubby” needs to be on this list too. The problem with all of these terms, which I agree wholeheartedly with, is that they are contrived, and a substitute for another, perfectly appropriate and long understood word. “Mommies” these days seem to take themselves and having kids waaayyyy to seriously. 😉

Sage Gordon 8 months ago

Pump and dump is actually pointless. Your milk contains the same amount of alcohol as your blood. Once you’re sober your milk is clean, no need to throw it away. What makes sense is to pump BEFORE you drink so you have clean milk to feed your baby with until you’re sober.

Erin McDade Palermo 8 months ago

Haha if I’m thinking what you think, it’s a helluva lot more accurate than the generally accepted term some days.

Rebecca Davey 8 months ago

I loved when my husband would say we’re pregnant. He was there through it all. Dr. appointments, rubbing my sore back… Everything. He wasn’t physically carrying the baby but he was very much a part of the pregnancy.

Kimberley Bartrum 8 months ago

There are very very few medications that are truly incompatible with breastfeeding – they’ll *all* say not to on the leaflet (and the doctor who isn’t specifically trained in lactation will likely err on the side of caution too) as they’re not allowed to run clinical trials on pregnant/breastfeeding mums, but there’s a lot of research and evidence out there to clarify that many can be taken without needing to interrupt breastfeeding. Google Lactmed or look up the “Medication and Breastfeeding” page on Facebook if it might apply to you – discovering this literally saved my breastfeeding relationship with my son x

Bree O’Malley 8 months ago

Pumping and dumping isn’t accurate. Blood leaves breastmilk at the rate of 1 drink per hour, if your sober you can breastfeed.

Kit Digby 8 months ago

But you all expect presents on your birthday? Congratulations! You didn’t die this year! Having a baby is cause for celebration, people like to give gifts at celebrations. They also like to express appreciation for things that require commitment, self discipline, sacrifice, pain and suffering and a lot of love from their partners. I give presents for a whole lot less than having a baby, sheesh.

Mollie Kerkhove Anderson 8 months ago

Amen! Fur babies kill me.

Kimberly White 8 months ago

Ignorant…. Pretty tough word there…

Katie Nunno Nelson 8 months ago

Calling their sons “little man” and “bud/buddy.” Sounds so… Like why don’t you shake they’re hand vs hug them. No one calls girls “there’s my little woman!” – just seems like it’s cold.

Kristen Duvall 8 months ago

Why does it matter if someone’s pet brings them joy? Let them call it whatever they want. Some people can’t have “real” babies and thus dedicate their love to a furry critter instead. Who does that hurt? No one. Trust me, we know that our pets aren’t the same as real children. We aren’t stupid. But whether or not you love a child or a dog, it shouldn’t matter if it makes that person happy.

News flash! Having real babies doesn’t make you superior to those who don’t have them, sorry. To each their own, I say.

Jennifer 8 months ago

Can we please for the love of all things holy stop referring to parenting as “babysitting” especially when it comes to fathers. My husband is not my daughter’s babysitter he is her father and I feel it diminishes his role as a parent for me to say that he babysits her while I am away.

Ana Lee 8 months ago

Guilty of “fur babies”. But now I see that our pets are much more civilized than the actual baby. I will stop using the term immediately!

Leslie Epstein 8 months ago

I despise the terms baby bump and prego. So irritating!!

Kelly Eleasure Davis 8 months ago

Yes! I’m comfortable with “we’re having a baby,” but only “she is pregnant” unless the family members making up the “we” are each pregnant.

I also get irked with “starting a family,” as in “when are you going to start a family?” Pretty sure they’re already a family without a kid. The kid just makes the family larger.

Hayley 8 months ago

I’m the same way but call myself half a hippie.

Kelly Eleasure Davis 8 months ago

I get that going by months is accurate when talking about developmental milestones, but save it for the doc once the kid is past 9 months.

Susan Elise Walker 8 months ago


Miriam Lokelani Smith 8 months ago

Stork cork, FTW!!

Erin Heintz 8 months ago

She is talking to those who actually believe if you pump and dump your milk will be magically clean from alcohol. I have had to tell some women how that doesn’t work. The la leche league pages has all the information you need.

Kris Carroll 8 months ago

#7 is my #1. The one that’s missing is “we are pregnant “.

Trish 8 months ago

I love your blog!!! BUT Im a lactation consultant and really excited yet really saddened to see that you just used the term pump & dump….i hate the term too, but because it ISNT accurate. Breastfeeding folows the same guidelines as the DMV because alcohol is metabolized out of the milk the same way and at the same rate as it is out of the blood. If you can safely drive, you can breastfeed. Pumping & dumping is wasteful & unnecessary. If you simpluly wait 1-2 hours after consuming a drink the alcohol will be out of the milk.

natasha 8 months ago

#1.. because it’s not a “stomach” or “belly”.. it is in fact, a baby bump.

Amanda Street 8 months ago

OMG thank you. People make me crazy with this cutesy crap. Just call it what it is people lol

Maria Swift 8 months ago

I love this!

Muhryzzle 8 months ago

Stork cork.
And I’m dying.
That. Is. The. Best. Stupid. Name. Everrr!

Amy Swagger 8 months ago

I’ve used every single one of these. Shamelessly!

Sarah 8 months ago

I hate the term “kiddos”. Makes my skin crawl. I have a coworker who refers to my children as “skin kids” because of course she has the furry kind. Not creepy at all.

Kristin Armstrong Orozco 8 months ago

I love my baby bump and my fur babies! :-)

Julie Kasik 8 months ago

I hate seeing dh ds dd and lo lol

Bunny Cocar 8 months ago


Evelyn Schwenke 8 months ago

I think some people need to chill out like this writer. Not all those terms bother me.

Nicole Woods-Sisk 8 months ago

I can’t stand #4 too!

Household06 8 months ago

I actually heard a woman say her hubby and littles would be home soon. I wanted to punch her.

Tara L. Ortiz 8 months ago

I absolutely hate when people say preggo or preggers!! It sounds so childish. I’m not a 15 year old girl in daisy dukes popping bubble gum while pregnant. I’m a PREGNANT woman. Just use the correct term please

Janelle Dahlgren 8 months ago

You know what I cannot stand….when someone sees your baby and says ‘well she looks like a keeper!’ Ya think?! – should say ‘nay…she’s not pretty enough, so I’ll send her back.’ I can just about hear the ‘gasps!’

Lesley Beachy Pevny 8 months ago

Ok I use number 7 a lot

Stacey Endsley Thompson 8 months ago

These terms don’t bother me. The ones that really annoy me are prego & preggers. So stupid!

I do think “stork cork” needs to happen though! :)

Tanya Rodrigue 8 months ago

Push present is the WORST!

Nicole Zweck-Beach 8 months ago

Baha stork cork

Dana Alley 8 months ago

Cracking up over here! Lol

Kristin Greenlee 8 months ago

Whatsup with the abbreviation thing? I’ve never heard that…

Kate Parisi Budlong 8 months ago

Ugh. Awful. Really annoyed by #4 but you missed ‘prego’. #theworst
Sonya Ingerson Tolone

Sabrina Salinas 8 months ago

This is just complaining to me. Not funny or useful in any way.

Melanie Fuemmeler 8 months ago

Any trend started by the Kardashians explains itself, and not in a good way. Push presents make me crazy. Your baby is the gift. My husband and I had a long talk and I specifically told him not to get me one. You knew what you were getting into when you decided to have a baby. If your reason for needing/wanting a push gift is because you need a form of “payback” for all the superficial changes your body made you’ve missed the point all together. I can’t imagine needing/wanting anything bought in a store over holding my sweet baby in my arms. Just one more example of the superficial and materialistic society we live in. Troubling.

Maria K Hill 8 months ago

My pet peeve is prego! I’m not a tomatoes sauce!

Mallory Pino 8 months ago

Wow, none of these bother me! Im in my 3rd trimester and heard these countless times. Funny what bothers some and not others. What i do find annoying is how people feel it’s ok to comment on my size! Yes, yes i know im big and i have 7 more weeks to go, thank you for reminding me. So yes, “wow your big” or “i wasn’t THAT big” or “must be twins, because you’re huge!” are undoubtedly rude comments to say.

Rachel McMahon 8 months ago

Because wine…

Ashley Garrett George 8 months ago

Totally agree with these

Tara Seiler Hussong 8 months ago

I think Mama Bear is very accurate! It’s exactly how I feel when someone goes after one of my kids.

Brandy Hutcheson 8 months ago

I personally would’ve used it to give baby a bath or something along those lines. So that’s why I say pump & dump is never required.

Jennie Smith 8 months ago

I’ve had sum 1 ask me how many months is 1yrs old & I played dumb & said Idk

Mary Elizabeth Anderson 8 months ago

We always name our babies before they’re born. We like to acknowledge them as human persons, because they are, and it also helps their siblings to understand who is coming into the world shortly.

Tara Seiler Hussong 8 months ago

I use all of these except Push Present. Your baby is your Push Present, Bitch.

Teresa Howick Wilson 8 months ago

I’ve heard ppl go beyond that; my baby is 28 months. Ummmm no!

Courtney Staton 8 months ago

I thought it meant it was vacation you go on when trying to get pregnant

Jamie Lynn Bear 8 months ago

4 all the way. And Playdate. Yeah your kid can come over and play. No your kid and my kid cannot have a “playdate” because you had to use that word.

April Emory 8 months ago

I use all of these

Karla Ashley 8 months ago

The “DD” “DS” drives me up the wall!!

Melanie Hampton 8 months ago

Oh and i don’t know why but i hate the term lovey

Rose Pedersen 8 months ago

Number 4! Ugh vomit everytime!

jen brunett 8 months ago

#3. Tears. Joyous laughing tears.

Suzanne 8 months ago

i found this so funny I busted out laughing! Very good!!

Mary Elizabeth Anderson 8 months ago

Thank you. If I see DS or DD or DH once more I may pull my dear bottom lip over my dear head and dearly swallow.

Jennie Smith 8 months ago

I get irritated when ppl say my baby is 15months fu*king really what’s hard with say he/she is 1yrs old

Christina Ridley Kasprzyk 8 months ago

My push presents were a baby…and a nap in the recovery room.

Andi Piscatella 8 months ago

My #1 pet peeve is “daddy is babysitting” – IF IT’S YOUR CHILD YOU ARE NOT BABYSITTING!!! How did this not make the list?

Tammy Breckenfelder 8 months ago

I love you.

Sarah K 8 months ago

As an L&D nurse, I despise the mucous plug. It really doesn’t mean anything if it comes out, especially if a woman is not contracting or anything. And no, I didn’t need you to bring it in a ziplock Baggie to look at. Eww.

Adrienne Waggoner 8 months ago

I get irritated at calling kids “the littles.” Makes me think of a cartoon when I was growing up.

Stephanie Rodden 8 months ago

#4 drives me INSANE! And LO. Wtf

Courtney Whener 8 months ago

The only one that irks me is fur baby. Seriously no.

Andrea Garcia Pezel 8 months ago

Push present! Hands down worst saying and idea. It just sounds so entitled and greedy.

Tristin Adams 8 months ago

None of these bother me at all …. I personally have not used most of these but I’ve heard others and I really haven’t thought twice about it

Brandi Lapadula 8 months ago

I’ve always HATED the term baby bump. Thank you for mentioning how annoying this term can be.

Brandi Ginn 8 months ago

I didn’t know “push present” was a thing! I’m on baby 4, my husband has some making up to do, lol!

Dana 8 months ago

I absolutely FREAKED at my fertility doctor for her staff calling me and using that term. “we need to check the viability of the embryo.’ Every time I heard it I felt dead and cold inside. As it turned out I lost the baby. I told her at my next appointment to change the damn terminology. It was incredibly stressful.

Tiffany Battenfield 8 months ago

I hate “preggo”. And “preggers” is about 200 times worse.

Kimberlee Weihe 8 months ago

Push present is such a selfish way for a woman to get a present for “her hard work”! Eye roll!

Deveney Holden 8 months ago

I love stork cork!!! Lol

Kellee Gerken 8 months ago


Sarah Jane 8 months ago

#4…so THAT is what those mean! I had no idea no matter how much I searched…like some big secret. Now I know it’s a big stupid secret. How dumb!
I have one to add…”Pop”…as in when you’re 9 months along and someone refers to you as needing to “Pop” or you look like you’re going to “pop”. I’m not a balloon. I’m not a tire. A simple “POP” doesn’t describe the accuracy of what actually happens…a POP is a simple “BOOM” and everything releases. Labor does not do that. I wish it did…but it doesn’t.
That and it just sounds ANNOYING. lol Okay maybe that’s just me and I was the crabbiest, nastiest pregnant woman in the history of the world. 😉 This is entirely possible.

Christine Hedger 8 months ago

Ugh! DD and DH and all the other excruciating cutesie short forms? And stop calling your children letters. “E made a big poop today”

Katie 8 months ago

I hear “pump and dump” a lot, but it is completely unnecessary. True, you don’t want to breastfeed right after drinking, but the alcohol content of breastmilk is the same as blood alcohol content.

Liz Smiley 8 months ago

Number 4 makes me crazy

Sarah M 8 months ago

I received a 3rd degree perineal tear when my son was delivered. THat’s where you literally rip open from your vagina hole to your butthole. IT HURTS LIKE THE WORST THING YOU COULD IMAGINE! I think I had about 150 stitches after and went through 3 bottles of Percocet before I could finally tolerate the pain again. HORRIBLE. With my daughter 6 years later they did an episiotome instead so, no tearing but when I pushed I pushed so hard (because, she was stubborn) that I literally clenched so hard to get her out I got the worst hemorroids AND I broke blood vessels all over my face. My eyes puffed out, my cheeks..BOTH times I literally ‘blowed out’. So…I could see how a “Push Present” would be a nice gesture for someone who went through so much…I didn’t get one but hey. (Gets angry all over again). I can understand the annoyance with the term ‘Push Present’. Can’t we just say gift?

Elizabeth Dale 8 months ago

Beyond the ‘pump and dump’ being completely inaccurate, i thought these were pretty fing hilarious:)

Nannette Elizabeth Nielsen 8 months ago

#4 and #7 drive me batty! I wish I could reach through my internet and slap the moms who use DD, DS….. and so on. And no my dog is not my fur baby. I did not birth him. I don’t have to worry about school and bad friends and walking the floor with him all night. He is a DOG!

Sarah M 8 months ago

That’s great, dear Christine, but for most of us it’s an agonizing, gut-wrenching, horrendous, excruciating experience. Hell 4 years later things STILL hurt. If I even think about getting pregnant again my uterus screams at me with a big nasty cramp. “Don’t you remember how bad that hurt? Here’s a reminder!” Heck I have nightmares. So…I can understand how the photo would be a bit annoying…because dammit I wish I could have had a more easy-going experience. Just another reminder that it’s not and wasn’t for me and perhaps I’m just a big ol’ freak. And I don’t think the photos need to stop but we just all need to keep in mind EVERYONE’S labor is different..and be real about it. It’s not all rainbows and sunshine. 😉

Heather Terlecki Rutter 8 months ago

#3 and 4!!!

Caitlyn Baird 8 months ago

“Fur baby”. Gag.

Sonya Jaynes 8 months ago
Amber Nic 8 months ago

Isn’t the baby the push present? Lol!

Cayley FS 8 months ago

They forgot ‘baby brain’. That’s one of the worst!

Jazzy Jay Ascencio 8 months ago

Lol I didn’t get a push gift bcuz 1. My son decided to come on Valentine’s Day so he was my gift and 2 I never pushed him out lol. Is there such a thing as c-section gift? I mean we got cut open for them to come into this world.

Kari Ward 8 months ago

Number 4. So so annoying

Hannah Bae Guillory 8 months ago

Hahahahaha, this made me laugh.

Taryn Cranford 8 months ago

This literally made me laugh out loud!

Tamara Gray 8 months ago

DD DS and DH definitely gotta go!!!

Taylor Walker 8 months ago

Number 4!!!!!!!!! DS told Dh that dd…. STFU

Sherry Siedenburg 8 months ago

Lol “stork cork!”

Kristin Ferguson Evelyn 8 months ago

#4!!!! I was reading a blog post and the woman kept putting DD and DH and I was like “what the heck does that mean!?!

Angela Rowney 8 months ago

Also push present, puh lease! I could start making up presents I should get too! Actually that might be fun, I’ll start brainstorming for witty gifts for myself!

Loni Fields 8 months ago

I hate DH DS and DD!!!

Erika Shumway 8 months ago

Thank you for pointing out #4 I HATE that ds, dd, dh BS!!!! But as far as pump and dump aside from ths term, the act is stupid and pointless. You dont have to get a blood transfusion to get alcohal out of your blood every time you drink, do you?? No. You do NOT have to pump and dump your breast milk, you just have to wait, I dont know how long, probably the same amount of time it takes for it to no longer be in your blood and your milk is fine

Megan Touchberry 8 months ago

The most annoying for me when I was pregnant (and my name being Megan)….. “Preggo-Mego” ugh. No. Just, NO. -_-

Mary O’Neill 8 months ago

all i wanted for my #3 was a whole lotta alcohol, but as the dad doesn’t drink, it wasn’t to be. :'(

Sally Navle 8 months ago

It’s #4 & # 7 for me. I hate DS, DD, DH. It’s so lame. And Fur Baby? Ugggg. Don’t get me started.

Jill Dornan 8 months ago

I’m pretty sure I used all of these and I got a push present (baby’s birthstone ring) #sorrynotsorry!

Angela Rowney 8 months ago

I laughed and enjoyed the term stork cork, but I will always think of my 2 recently passed and current pet as my fur babies. They love us so much and we love them the same. Of course it’s different than the love of our children but it is still a very special love and relationship. Plus they rarely talk back and roll their eyes at me, what’s not to love there?!

Sherease Renee 8 months ago

Thank you! I too think the term, ” Fur Baby” needs to go BYE BYE! It’s ANNOYING as heck! As for the rest of the list, it’s not so bad well except for the push present. That is all kinds of WRONG!

Rachael Malone 8 months ago

I love #1 and #7…sucks that some of you don’t! Life must be difficult to worry about “words!” Haha I love my fur babies!!! And I can’t wait to be blessed with a baby bump!!!

Shauntell Campbell 8 months ago

#4 is why I stay away fm to many parenting blogs.

Amber Coffee 8 months ago

“Mama Bear”. Worlds most annoying term ever…..

Caryn Amster Hogan 8 months ago

Completely agree with 5 and 6… And totally guilty of receiving a push present!!

chelle 8 months ago

I heard “chewy” the other day, meaning a mom who embraces some natural practices and beliefs but is not entirely “crunchy”. This describes me but I hate both terms; they’re just gross.

Courtney Staton 8 months ago

Can’t handle #7

Candy Gill 8 months ago

The words “preggo” or “preggers” bug me.

Rachael Meche Suydam 8 months ago

DuH = dumb husband.

Megan 8 months ago

DH, DD, etc… Don’t even get me started!! I love my family, but darling or dear they are not. First of all it’s 2015 and second, I’m not my great grandmother. Barf. Shit those abbreviations are literally the main reason I stay away from most parenting forums/blogs/etc. Makes me want drop kick someone lol.

Kate Low 8 months ago

Or the saying “so stinkin cute!”

Valerie Koreck 8 months ago

Stork cork… Lmao

Antionette Groening 8 months ago

Ummm yes! All these terms became tiresome after 30 months of hearing it (3kids) if no one could put 2 & 2 together… 😉 I especially despise the DS DD DH uggghhhh!! Oh & fur babies…sounds too hairry

Kim Meyers 8 months ago

Yeah another term is referencing the baby as” little peanut”
It’s not a food it’s a damn human baby call it what it is- baby
End of story

Taylor Eastin 8 months ago

Stork cork bahahaha!

Janet Frazao Conaci 8 months ago

I hate all those terms especially the dear ones!

Courtney Kindree 8 months ago

Stork cork* – lmao!!!!

Holly Riefe 8 months ago


Sian Graham 8 months ago

I confess I use DH… But it usually means damn husband haha

Christa Gilstrap 8 months ago

Yes! Especially push present. What is that?!?

Melissa Holdcroft-Agnew 8 months ago

Not my favorite article. And I love my fur babies. Lol my kids too :p

Ginny 8 months ago

PLAYDATE. I hate the word and the definition.

Barb Hart 8 months ago

Baby stopper!

Crystal Carter 8 months ago

Lol people complain too much. I think baby bump sounds cute. Never heard of the rest before.

Anna Shields 8 months ago

Yeah pretty much!

Tonya Merrell 8 months ago

Preggo and preggers are stupid…with you on those two 100%!

Penny Buhler 8 months ago

“Stork cork!”

Jessica Riggs 8 months ago

I disagree with all of these. Sounds like someone going off about nothing while her hormones are leading the way. Ps I miss my baby bump and want another baby bump!

Kelley Long 8 months ago

Yyyaaaassssss, 1 and 3!!!!

Lucy 8 months ago

Funny blog, but the term ‘pump and dump’ is actually inaccurate – this is what you should have said “Once you stop drinking, and the amount of alcohol in your blood drops (1 drink takes approximately 2 hours to clear your system*), the amount in your milk will too. ‘Pumping and dumping’ will not reduce the amount of alcohol in your breastmilk. You also do not need to do this once the alcohol has passed through your system – alcohol is not ‘stored’ in your milk, just as it doesn’t remain in your blood.” (ABA)

Lindsey Kennedy-Sita 8 months ago

#4 is the worst. Drives me nuts!

Stacy Smothermon 8 months ago

Love it!

Lorri Lesko 8 months ago

My husband heard the term “push present” for the first time when I was in the 3rd trimester. He looked bewildered and asked me if I wanted one. Dear Lord, NO! I told him that all I wanted was for him to take the night shift, lol!

Kate Fraser 8 months ago

I ABSOLUTELY HATE the term “we’re pregnant”. Um. Unless hubs grew a uterus overnight, I’m the only one pregnant. Just sayin.

Shailyn Volk 8 months ago


Melanie Honeycutt 8 months ago

Wow is this person hormonal or what? Who peed in her Cheerios? Lol

Amanda Dennie 8 months ago

I’d much rather hear “baby bump” than “preggo”.

Cassandra Hedrick Bingham 8 months ago

The only one I agree with is push present. What a horrible trend. The rest are whatever. I think the term baby bump lets women feel better about their growing belly.

Nancy Nash 8 months ago

Love #5…”stork cork”…

Melissa Bateman 8 months ago

#4 yessssssss!!!!! Agreed!

Kay Saluto Schramm 8 months ago

If these words drive you crazy and annoy you, good luck with life. There are sooooo many more annoying things. I do think you’re funny but c’mon wtf is wrong with saying “baby bump.”

Shonda Brooks 8 months ago

I can promise that the next time I hear “pump and dump” it will be all I can muster to not start laughing uncontrollably. I will never think of it the same ever again. :)

Jennie Reis 8 months ago

Now I FINALLY know what DD, DS, etc. means! It annoyed me when I didn’t know what it meant and it annoys me now that I know. LOL

Sarah Carroll 8 months ago

Never heard #3 before. Silly term but great idea.

#5 and #6 are medical terms, and you don’t generally use them unless you are speaking in a medical context. I am firmly against the cutesie-fying of language, in my own personal use. Call it what it is.

Jacqueline Oliver Scotto 8 months ago

Nailed it!

Maria Baron Duffy 8 months ago

The act of pumping and dumping is far worse than the phrase “pump and dump.” You work so hard and then toss it away :( The other 6 terms? Hate ’em!! Especially #1 & 7.

Emily Rawls 8 months ago


Ashley Burnam 8 months ago

Hahaha! I hate the DH, DD thing!!!

Dolores Whitlock 8 months ago

Lol I loved this!

NikiFox 8 months ago

Me to! Finally know what those letters stand for. I never wanted to ask for fear of being judged for not knowing something that seems bred into other people!

Christy McVicker Ryan 8 months ago

Hate it

Cheryl 8 months ago

OMG!!! Thank you! I hate #4, why, why, why do people use those?!? Drives me crazy

Jane Byers Goodwin 8 months ago

I agree with every one of these terms, plus “baby daddy” and “baby mama,” all of which are the 30-year-old equivalent of a 4th grade playground girlie-jargon contest. Cutesy isn’t cute after age 12.

Megan DeRuiter 8 months ago

I get really annoyed when people refer to their children by birth order, ie “Baby #2”, “Baby #3”, etc. My son has a name, and it’s not “Baby #1.” And if you ask me when we’re going to have “Baby #2”, I just might punch you in the face.

Nevie Sulejmani Vance 8 months ago

Totally agree with number 4. Drives me batty.

Heidi 8 months ago

Pregnancy brain. This is what I hate. Being pregnant does not make you any more stupid then you already are. It just makes you more…..well, pregnant. Stop saying you forgot to do something because of your pregnancy brain and start saying “I was feeling tired and lazy and didn’t want to. Go away and leave me alone with this ice cream”.

Jennifer 8 months ago

Lmao! Same here! I am so using that one!

Shana Bree Buckingham-Boggs 8 months ago

When I see “DH” I don’t hear dear husband.

Claire Caudill Johnson 8 months ago

Number 4!!! Ugh!!!

Jamie 8 months ago

AGREED! All of the above drive me nuts…. Although the number one slang term that annoys me more than anything is prego and preggers. It’s pregnant….. End of story!

Kristie 8 months ago

I especially hate it when a pacifier is called “plug” (Kinda goes with the mental imagery thing… It’s also the only word my parents would use for pacifier)
Or a “binkie” (binkie is the word for blanket, who changed it into the word for pacifier?)
Or a “paci” (at least this one is close to a real word)

Actually, I hate a lot of baby talk… If the kid can’t quite say a word correctly, that’s one thing. Even cute at times. But if you’re an adult, it’s never cute!!!

Ashley George 8 months ago

Yes please tell her ! Pump and dump is outdated !!! Have ur mojito or two . If u are safe to drive U are safe to nurse .
Minuscule amount gets to baby from what I have been told

Amanda Shannon 8 months ago

People that are complaining about this article, are you new? This is a silly page where you can just read silly articles. You don’t need to take offense if you yourself use these terms.

Tracey Vaughan 8 months ago

#7 is THE WORST.

Angela Burgess Larke 8 months ago

Ugh, fur baby. A cousin said this to me one time (as I was struggling with infertility) and I haven’t really forgiven her.

Mariah Reash 8 months ago

The fur baby, hate it I prefer humog.

Ashlee Traynor 8 months ago

Push Present

trish 8 months ago

Someone (God or nature or the world) decided that I don’t get to be a mom. I don’t get to experience any of these or other things that makes you a mom. So if I want to call my dogs my fur babies, I will because they are the closest thing I will ever get to actually having a baby.

Becky McKay 8 months ago

Tis funny and all of the terms are quite annoying baby bump is the top annoyance for me though

Sarah Shaw 8 months ago

I’ve never heard most of these terms…who cares…where’s the humour on this page go?

Amanda Moose 8 months ago

The only push present I wanted after labor was a big cheese burger lol I was hungry

Holly Willwerth 8 months ago

#3 as well! Ugh! As though the end result isn’t present enough!?

Aisha Diasse 8 months ago


Catherine Harris 8 months ago

Along the same lines as fur baby, my mother in law refers to my brother in law’s dog as her grandpuppy. Drives me crazy!

Jordan Croitor 8 months ago

Uhm, my dog is my “fur baby”. She’s family, not just a pet. But I agree with all the rest. Lol

Renee Adams 8 months ago

Best. Article. Ever!

Sydney Williamson 8 months ago

I feel like Scary Mommy, while funny & relatable sometimes, perpetuates a lot of misinformation when it comes to breastfeeding. See here-


“There is no need to pump & dump milk after drinking alcohol, other than for mom’s comfort — pumping & dumping does not speed the elimination of alcohol from the milk.”

Amy Jo 8 months ago

she is really going to look down on me because not only have I used all but 1 of these terms but I have absolutely no problem with 1-6. I am sorry but seriously we have an issue with a mom getting a nice little gift after the hell of labor, or a problem with the medical terms.

Morgan Ramsey 8 months ago

I have a fur baby and I love her! She was my first born 😉

Crystal White 8 months ago

“fur baby” worst of all

Melissa Elford-Edwards 8 months ago

#4… Ugh

Ashley Hammond Hollar 8 months ago

I’m kinda confused as to why some of these commenters follow Scary Mommy. This kind of post is totally her thing….

Rachel Ragbir 8 months ago

So that’s what those stupid abbreviations mean!

Heather Calhoun Stockett 8 months ago

Stork cork. I die

Shannon Willett 8 months ago

Push presents are just plain stupid. How about your baby be your ” push present”?

Sarah Saheim 8 months ago

Finally I know what the hell DD and DS blah blah are!!!

Lauren Harmon 8 months ago


Tiffany Fisher 8 months ago

Push present is your baby!!! Jeeze

Lisa Chinappi 8 months ago

“Stork cork!” Lmao!!!!

Lisa Wise 8 months ago

I’ve used all of the above without shame, but “preggers,” just no.

Catherine Root Sibuma 8 months ago

Preggers, preggo, playdate…

Krysia 8 months ago

Prego or its close cousin “preggers”. Omg I hate both and I heard preggers ALL the time!

Shannon Salazar 8 months ago

I have “adjusted age” my son was born at 35 weeks along. His “adjusted age”. Like WTf. He was born and 4 weeks later he’s a month old. His adjusted age didn’t make him just born. Ugh! I hate that shit! Preemie parents get into the shit. Not us.

Vicki Croisetiere 8 months ago

#4 is annoying!

Ally Bieniecki 8 months ago

Yes. End the use of all of these.

Jax Smash 8 months ago

preggo ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh bnoooooooooooooooo stahppp

Trista Morgan 8 months ago

Push Present? Really that’s a thing!

Crystal Fouts 8 months ago

I cannot stand #4

Jenn Armstead 8 months ago

I do like the notion of “stork cork”… Clever.

Barbara Carichner 8 months ago

Stork cork!!

Stephanie Curtin Melanson 8 months ago

Stork cork lol omg funny

Christy Heier-LaMantia 8 months ago

Preggers, prego…. So annoying and immature sounding!

I also find it weird when people refer to their unborn child by his/her name. Not sure why, but I find it strange.

Push gifts? Isn’t your baby gift enough??

Lily Hook 8 months ago

Um…push present. The present is your beautiful baby that will forever change your life for the better.

Danielle Gaines 8 months ago

you forgot the one about the cervix “ripening” . barf.

Robyn Davis 8 months ago

Hate furbaby. Sounds like a hairy human and no matter how much you love your pet, it’s still a pet. It will eat it’s own and others shit if allowed. It is nothing like my baby.

Amy Robertson DiBonaventura 8 months ago

So it’s NOT just me?!?! I hate the term Baby Bump more than just about any other term on the planet!

Karen P 8 months ago

The DD, SS,SD and DS and DH and BM are all abbreviations we use in the step parent community.

I love stork cork

Nancy Welker Fortais 8 months ago

Good to hear that I’m not alone in disliking the term “baby bump”- it’s so cutesy, and seems to be used when referring to celebrities. And “push presents”- really? Wasn’t having a brand new life good enough for some people? They need expensive jewelry and gadgets, too? Yeech.

Michele Elizabeth Paquette 8 months ago

#4 drives me nuts

Megan McCluskey 8 months ago

Stork cork?? This is why I LOVE this blog

Allison Diehl 8 months ago

Baby Daddy, Baby Wearing

Randi Chesney 8 months ago

I use the term Hubby lol
We’ve only been married for 2 years :)

Alicia Nicole Chop 8 months ago

“Stork cork” haha! I’m dead, that is hilarious!

Delilah Magão 8 months ago

Don’t hate on the push gift lol. It’s always nice to get something nice, esp since once you have a kid you basically cease to exist apart from your child or identity as a mother, at least temporarily.

Kat Simons 8 months ago

Boob juice. Hate that.

Lindsay Scialdone Adams 8 months ago

Number 7!!!

Marieand Levi Smith 8 months ago

Honestly pump and dumpers are annoying anyway. That wasted milk! Why can’t you just wait until you’re done breastfeeding to start drinking again

Lauren Keiselis 8 months ago

I actually like baby bump… I usually use baby belly but I like both :) I absolutely despise “preggo” or “preggers” or anything like that, to me they sound like a disease or something. Being pregnant just sounds so much better! I agree with the rest of the list, especially DD, DS, DH etc. I can’t bring myself to type it (excluding this example lol).

Rachel Jeschke 8 months ago

And I vote for stork cork

April Cormier Cottle 8 months ago

Ugh!!! #s 4 and 7!!!!

Mindi Anthon Kenney 8 months ago

I was 35 when I went to the OB for the first time and was told I was at an “advanced maternal age” What?? That came as a shock. I had no idea I was old until she was kind enough to tell me. And I HATE the word mucus. Plug or otherwise. #8 Mommy Juice. Ugh.

Gina Arterberry 8 months ago


Nicole Cuomo 8 months ago

Ugh #4

Meghan Chargualaf 8 months ago

#4. so annoying. period.

Adrianne 8 months ago

In reality, pumping and dumping isn’t necessary…just wait.

Melissa Kunkel Deutsch 8 months ago

Fur baby! Yes! Pets are NOT babies. Dear person with no babies and a “fur baby”…you don’t even know. I slap my pre-baby self for ever thinking my pup was ‘like a baby’…he did like being held, but that’s where the similarities ended. :)

Kelly 8 months ago

DH is better than hubs. Worse than hubs is hubster!!! DH can mean Dear Husband or dickhead.

Julie Maccarone Souliotis 8 months ago


Rachel Jeschke 8 months ago

“delicate little pad of skin that’s about to be massacred” Never gave a thought about this until this blog, and now I can’t uncross my legs from the imagined pain.

Natalie Cannon 8 months ago

I just cracked up to the point that I started crying, while imaging what it would be like to nurse an Ewok.

Melissa Wright Taliaferro 8 months ago

Pump and dump. Now you do too! Lol!

Christin Raver 8 months ago

“Pumping and dumping” is horrible because it is absolutely useless! No need for it!!

Marcy Kusz 8 months ago

This whole article made me laugh! Love it!

Jenn Richard 8 months ago

Love this! I will never picture childbirth the same again, there will always be confetti

Danielle Mitchell 8 months ago

#’s 3 & 7!!!

Katie Fazekas 8 months ago

#7. I agree with everything that’s said about the love for a pet. I LOVE my dog & can’t imagine our family without her. But, as far as I’m concerned, “fur baby” should be illegal.

Sandra Hurdis Finigan 8 months ago

Babymoon. Give me a break. Not to mention how bad it would be to be in Cuba or the Dominican and go into premature labour. It’s a freaking vacation not a babymoon. Ugh.

Morgan Kaye Breeding 8 months ago

Will someone please tell this ignorant woman that pump and dump is irrelevant and pointless when it comes to drinking. If it’s in your blood stream its in your milk.

Bonnie Kulenkamp 8 months ago

Mommy juice

Hannah Margaret Keldie 8 months ago

And while we’re at it…people who use “hubby” . gagpuke

Abby Kell Schlueter 8 months ago

DH, DD, DS, DF, omg- drives me BSC (bat sh** crazy) stop.. Just stop.

Kristen Anne 8 months ago

#6 picture, HILARIOUS!

Natalie Lelacheur-Romero 8 months ago

Fur Baby-dogs are not babies people!! And Push Present…I just can’t handle either of those!

Hannah Margaret Keldie 8 months ago

I want to throat punch all who use 4

Jessica Brusgul 8 months ago

Preggers lol. I’m still laughing at the fishbowl sized mojito lmao!

Jenn Talamini 8 months ago

Stork cork is my FAVE! Lol

Jennifer Mabey-Grella 8 months ago

I was the . advanced maternal age mom.. Really.. They should have called me granny.

Laura Hohm 8 months ago

3 and 4, ugh

Stephanie Bicker 8 months ago

“Push present,” gag me. As if I’d have the wherewithal after screaming my lungs out and being introduced to a new, tiny, messy, total stranger that I now have to care for 24/7 to appreciate a new outfit or piece of jewelry…

Raegan Kim 8 months ago

#3 is my nails on a chalkboard!

Nichole Christine Martinez 8 months ago

I vote for stork cork!

Andrea Gomez de Jacir 8 months ago

Number 4 makes everyone sound like an idiot

Melissa Krauss 8 months ago

You just cleared up what DH, DS, and DD mean. Now that I know I think that is incredibly stupid!

Becky Lowry Smith 8 months ago

I hate it when a woman and her child’s father take the picture where their bellies touch. Or the man makes some reference to “his baby belly”. It’s not cute, it’s annoying.

Colleen Hochlander 8 months ago

#7 is my #1 on my list.

Cortney Villanueva 8 months ago

I really dislike number 7…

Amy Sheppard 8 months ago

Fur baby… Lol…had not heard that one

Lauren Maxine 8 months ago

All of them!!

Jenny Wonder-Tart 8 months ago


No. Just stop.

Candace Bartel 8 months ago

Push present… Ugh.

Michael Cheri Pitts 8 months ago

Stork cork, I like it lol

Melanie Candela 8 months ago

I vote for ‘stork cork’ lol. Love it!

Sherri Frantz 8 months ago

#4!!!! So annoying!

Maribel Montes de Oca 8 months ago


Leah Farrey 8 months ago

Stork cork needs to happen.

Sara Thomas 8 months ago

We use dd ds and dh in the confessional to save us some letters 😉

Signey Gamble 8 months ago

Hehehe stork cork…

Kate White 8 months ago

#4!!! I never new what that meant and my God is it annoying

Donna Hutchinson 8 months ago


Erin Jaeger 8 months ago

I agree with 2 and 3.

Lesley Grady 8 months ago

Crunchy. Ugh.

Is Somanabolic Muscle Maximizer a Scam 1 year ago

Allow for our cause. Our favorite partner was just diagnosed with this.
It’s good to offer our aid!

Debbie 1 year ago

I used to get the were they natural because I have twins , Im like no the alien mother ship knocked me up and put them inside me yes they were natural . Another one that got my goat was oh how cute she is and they would point to my son and then say isn’t he handsome and point to my daughter. Im like um shes wearing pink and a bow in her hair her name is Aurora and shes 8 months old and Hes william and hes eight months old

Debbie 1 year ago

What drives me nutso is the term delivered, as in the doctor delivered the baby , im just thinking in my head the image of the UPS man showing up wtih my kids in a box ..

Candice Huckle 1 year ago

weird, I’ve had 3 kids and I’ve never heard of pump and dump or push present. totally agree about “fur baby” i roll my eyes everytime i hear that statement.

Meredith 1 year ago

“Hubby.” I loathe this word with a vengeance. I will only call my husband “hubby” on the day our romance dies.

Ann Marie Leone Wickson 1 year ago

I hate when people say the father is babysitting- no, it’s their child!

Sam 1 year ago

Stork cork!! Hilarious!!

Nina 1 year ago

That’s exactly what I was about to say. Women pump and dump because they want to keep their supply up, not because they want to get rid of the alcohol. If I drink, I’m not going to stop pumping, nor will I have the illusion that if I pump and dump it’ll take the alcohol out.

Jessica Clopton 1 year ago

Well that was a pointless article.

jessie 1 year ago

This article is great! I’ve been trying to figure out where all these terms came from too. I hate push present, I am not a fan of fur baby, I don’t get initials instead of son daughter husband ….. I’m glad someone finally said it. Thanks.

Hope 1 year ago

When you have multiple and people ask “are they natural?”
When you have kids a little older and something bad or even devastating happens “it’s part of the journey”. What f-ing journey? Your journey is on a five star cruise ship and mine right now is on a non air conditoned bumpy third world motor coach!
“PlaydAte”. Still the worst

Corie Morell Martin 1 year ago

Referring to toddlers’ ages in terms of months. After 18 months it’s just confusing. I shouldn’t have to do math to figure out how old your kid is. Just round up for Pete’s sake.

Jodi Eggemeyer Buskohl 1 year ago

Love the ending “(But, for what it’s worth, I just ate a slice of American cheese and a handful of Tostitos for breakfast.)” hahaha

Kali Stanland 1 year ago

Phew…cranky much? Funny imagery though. Hello, I do agree acronyms are annoying.

Jessica Race 1 year ago

I hate LO for “little one”. I can’t tell u how many times I was reading comments on baby center & was like “how do all these ppl have kids whose names can be shortened into LO?” It’s just stupid!

AmyJ 1 year ago

I hear you on the elderly pregnancy as I was also 37. I was completely offended (that doesn’t happen very easily)! Advanced maternal age was also really annoying.

Also not a fan of pump and dump. I struggled for every drop of milk so no way would I ever willingly toss it. As much as I wanted to drink to help ease the anxiety of having an extreme preemie, there’s no way I could bring myself to do it.

AmyJ 1 year ago

I’ve heard that term a million times. My son was born at 23 weeks, on the edge of viability. Gave me a whole new perspective on the word.

Whitney M 1 year ago

Prego. I HATE IT! I’m with child NOT with pasta. HATE HATE HATE!

Lynn Napikul 1 year ago


Shannon Bauman 1 year ago


Jennifer Anne Revels 1 year ago

I’ve been wondering what all that DH, DS, etc means. Soooo cheesy.

Deborah Eagen 1 year ago

Dude. NEVER bash the “push present.” That’s when you get the really good gifts. Geez.

Miranda Gable 1 year ago

Stupid article…..

Dana Clark 1 year ago

#4, yes!!! Lol

Nichelle Crowder 1 year ago

Calling children “Kiddos!!” Ugggh :( Annoys the crap out of me! Dont know why but its like scratching a chalkboard to me. Weird. I know.

Tonya Lee 1 year ago

I used to get told ” bet u cant wait till they walk n talk..but ull spend th rest of ur life tellin em to sit down and be quiet” NNNoooo… tell me about these teen years im in where I wanna punch th livin daylights out of them cuz they think they are owed th world without doing anything or earning what they want!!!

Jeauxdi 1 year ago

Jessica…My husband and I have two FUR BABIES! I will always call them my FUR BABIES! We were unable to have children, so these two “tumble weeds” are our children, kids, our FUR BABIES…!
Why ya so salty over what other use, is it because your DH didn’t get you a push present for your elderly birth? Oh he’s ratchety…
Be seriously…Does it really matter or make a difference what people refer to people/pets/things in THEIR lives? If it’s not in your yard…Don’t walk out your fence and get in that leaf pile.

Kerry Morris 1 year ago

Number 3

Nancy Mansfield-Dill 1 year ago

That sounds gross. I hope no one ever uses that around me!

Nancy Mansfield-Dill 1 year ago

I had never heard these before. You’re right. They’re lame!

Genevieve 1 year ago

The term “pump and dump” isn’t even a thing you should do… Stupid phrase, stupid idea.The level of alcohol in your blood is the same in your breastmilk. If you just wait a few hours its all gone.. Pumping and tossing it out just wastes good baby food.

SC 1 year ago

“Glowing” HA!!! Yes we are glowing…all over our face as we break out in pimples. Glowing? Really? I’ll show YOU glowing! Lol mwaaahaaahaa

MayaLin Artega 1 year ago


Abby Summer 1 year ago

2 and a half years of pent up frustration coming out in this post….ahhh feels good!

Abby Summer 1 year ago

When you breastfeed constantly, especially during growth spurts and the child cries, then some lady usually has to say “Is your Mother starving you?” No, I also need to eat, wash and use the bathroom every so often to keep myself functioning.

Abby Summer 1 year ago

When your child falls over and people gasp with horror and go “Awwwwww/Ohhhhhh”. The child hears that and thinks “Oh my! I must be hurt so bad” when really it’s usually just a fright so they scream, loudly, in your ear while you try and calm them down.

Abby Summer 1 year ago

I get “Young Mum” – I’m 31 & a half. Just because I admit that I don’t have a clue as to what I’m doing most of the time or how to deal with my toddler does not mean I’m young. Just overwhelmed, under prepared and un experienced for the position. (As most first time Mothers are)

Jessika Mason 1 year ago

Health insurance, clothes, car seats, diapers, wipes, college, braces, medical bills, food, books and toys, furniture, larger home, allowance… the list of expenses goes on and on. Also the expenses last until 20-25 depending on college and whatnot. So to say a pet is more expensive is just nuts!

Ange Thistleton 1 year ago

I hate being called ‘mum’ by people (who are not my child). I am not a label!!!

Ann-Luise Marshall 1 year ago

I hate when women refer to themselves in third person “one proud mama” and I hate it when a mom is proud that her kid got a tooth! Really??!!

Kristy Engel 1 year ago

“You’re going to spoil him”. Drives me nuts. You can’t spoil a baby by meeting his needs the instant he needs it, but you will certainly assure him of your constancy.

CC 1 year ago

Ugh. I Hate the term prego too. From what I heard, prego is a type of porn fetish with pregnant women. So every time someone called me that, I would cringe!

Jessica Holden Lauderdale 1 year ago

In my day, the “push present” was the precious gift from God that you just gave birth to..
But I’m “geriatric” now, at 36, so what do I know!!

Alienne Engel 1 year ago

first she’s mad about slang terms- “pump and dump”. then she’s mad about actually technical terms- mucous plug. is the woman that wrote this list a gemini or what? lol

Debra Cole 1 year ago

You are my new fave. Despise the concept of the push prize.

Katy Oliver 1 year ago

Haha number 6— something is thinning!

Caroline Crymble 1 year ago

I think the “baby moon” is a silly term!

Lindsey Acciarito 1 year ago

I HATE ‘preggo’ and ‘knocked up’. I ask people not to refer to me as spaghetti sauce.

Jamie Lynn Aechternacht 1 year ago

If you dont breastfeed, you will have sickly babies and they wont bond to you. Total load of B.S. on BOTH accounts. And no, I didnt breastfeed.

Barbara Mastroddi-Lackey 1 year ago

I’ve done the “pump and dump” bit too (I remember going to a party a few weeks after my daughter was born, and feeling guilty for having — and enjoying — two nice glasses of wine, and yes, pumped and dumped before I went home.) And my kiddo is now 10 and none the worse :)

Barbara Mastroddi-Lackey 1 year ago

And yet that’s what our kids call them.

Barbara Mastroddi-Lackey 1 year ago

Even before the “push present” trend, it was customary in some social circles for the wife to be given a lavish jewelry gift in exchange for having bore a child. No joke.

Barbara Mastroddi-Lackey 1 year ago

Does anyone else hate “va-jay-jay” like I do? And spare me other cutesy names for private parts. They’re penises and vaginas, folks!

Elaine Honstein Steneck 1 year ago

Has anyone mentioned “natural birth”? I had a frank breech kiddo with a cord around his neck, not allowing him to turn, so c-section it was…. Then I was told how sad someone was that I couldn’t experience the true journey of motherhood. Isn’t that a lifelong journey?

Barbara Mastroddi-Lackey 1 year ago

I’m a member of the “advanced maternal age” club and have just as much energy (and youthful looks) as women 10 years my junior. :p

Barbara Mastroddi-Lackey 1 year ago

These are the same people who go on about how they dislike children, yet treat their “furbabies” like they are human. If I see one more woman wheeling her dog into a store, I will lose my shit. (I love my pets too, but there’s a fine line somewhere!)

Asia Moore 1 year ago

I always thought DH meant dumb husband hehe

Elaine Honstein Steneck 1 year ago

I was 37 too…loved that “elderly maternal” term.

Holly Fortini 1 year ago

My daughter is 36 months. So she’s 3? Annoying.

Chelsea White 1 year ago

Despise the word preggo … muffin in the oven..

Keri Taylor 1 year ago

I hate the fur baby thing

Elena Brock Gaskins 1 year ago

He’s scared of the baby, he will come around

Heidi Browen Clausen 1 year ago

Not sure if this fits with the topic but “housewife”. Wtf! None of us are married to our damn houses.

qwertygirl 1 year ago

I think everyone has hit my pet peeves–push present, WE are not pregnant (really? You have morning sickness and stretch marks? When you do, you may say WE are pregnant), preggo/preggers, DH etc although I also object to The Hubs and Hubby (how about “my husband”? I’m also not a huge fan of fake made up names for them–Superman, The Dude, Captain Awesome, although they’re not as cringe-inducing as DH and The Hubs), baby bump.

The one that bothers me the most is Pump & Dump, not because it’s stupid, but because it’s NOT POSSIBLE. Yes, in theory, you drink a drink or two, then pump whatever was just processed and get rid of it. But that assumes your body makes milk and metabolizes alcohol at the same rate. THIS IS NOT NECESSARILY THE CASE. Everyone metabolizes alcohol at different rates. It’s just like using the “calories burned” on the treadmill–it’s an average. You have no way of knowing that it’s right for you. If you’re that freaked out about drinking and nursing, then don’t drink while you’re nursing. Just like the old fashioned idea of having a few drinks and “sobering up” by drinking coffee–doesn’t work. The only way to not be affected by alcohol is not to drink it.

Naani Abercrombie 1 year ago

Breast is best! (Just to make you feel like you are poisoning your child if you dont want to, or can’t)

Sharon 1 year ago

Yuck fur baby I hate that term and im a groomer lol… just got done at the pedi my three m old has a neck rash the dr said “o shes a B.F.B” big fat baby… thanks jerk

Julianne Jacks Flynn 1 year ago

I was 39 and dubbed a “geriatric pregnancy”. Not cool.

Molly Lamb Wendt 1 year ago

“boys will be boys.” As if it’s ok that your kid is a total brat because he’s a boy, but my daughter has to be quiet and sweet at all times.

Lisa DeMaio Sullivan 1 year ago


Jennie Wegner 1 year ago

I love my fur babies lol :)

Leah Naughton 1 year ago

I strongly disagree with fur baby!! That’s my pups and I’m sticking to it.

Jennie Wegner 1 year ago

Btw every time someone said something stupid I always told them I was not pregnant! Lol made them feel stupid, then I would waddle away :)

Jennie Wegner 1 year ago

We use fur babies with our dogs. I don’t mind that one. But we are doing in vitro in two months and have an 78% chance for twins. My first pregnancy with my son I was HUGE but I’m sorry that does not in any way give you the right to say… Oh my gosh you are huge, or are you pregnant with twins, or you must be ready to pop any minute… Ummm no thanks I still have 4 months left. And I’m sorry even if you are pregnant with twins don’t ask, it’s rude! If I want you to know I will tell you! If you have nothing positive to say but to remind me that I still have 4 months to go and I’m already popping out of my maternity clothes keep your mouth shut. Hahaha okay rant over 😉

Tina Strance 1 year ago

Stork cork! Hahahaha!

Karen Rosenberg 1 year ago


Heather Liquore Aaron 1 year ago

I don’t like “preggo.” What’s wrong with pregnant? That’s what you are :)

Karen Buck 1 year ago

Binkey is a brand too, Katy Ake.

Anny Smith 1 year ago

I hate the term “full-time-mom”. Just because I work outside my home, doesn’t make me any less of a parent.

Lynn Gresham Crummitt 1 year ago

Hysterical!!! Loved the fur baby comparison, still chuckling!!

Heather Shaw 1 year ago

I like fur baby!! Lol! But am right there with you in the DH, DD, DS thing.

Karen Buck 1 year ago

Yeah, I can’t believe people say “she’s got a baby in her stomach”–WTH?!

Karen Buck 1 year ago

I hate the term ‘pelvic floor’—like your uterus has a little room in there!!!

Elizabeth Saucedo 1 year ago

Lmao !!!

Em R. 1 year ago

Thank you! Prego makes me want to punch someone in the neck. It’s a brand of pasta sauce people!!!

Sandy 1 year ago

Fur baby is bad, but Pet Parent is awful — and I admit to liking other people’s puppies more than other people’s babies. Even a dog lover has to have some limits.

I hate “we’re pregnant.” “We’re having a baby” — not the same thing, I haven’t heard the term “push present” — ugh. Are there really people out there who can afford a gift on top of the cost of delivery, decorating the nursery, and buying car seats and pack and plays? Wait until they start buying diapers — they’ll wish they skipped the gift.

I don’t think it makes sense to round up a baby’s age, because development is so rapid. I stopped counting their ages in months when the well-baby visits stopped including informational printouts listing the baby’s age in months.

I don’t mind the technical terms, although it’s a rare conversation that calls for them. I don’t like “baby bump.” I think this it”s a generational thing. As an “elderly” mother, I grew up when people talked about showing, which places the emphasis on the mother, not baby bump, which puts all the focus on the kid.

Samantha Stewart 1 year ago

YES! I hate “fur baby”!!!

Love 1 year ago

They’re also scarily accurate sometimes. See also Dick Head, Damn Husband, etc…

LOL Seriously, it’s much better than the gag-inducing “hubs”

Gayane Gazaryan 1 year ago

“Your stomach is so..big/cute/etc.” MY BABY IS NOT IN MY STOMACH! I I did not eat the said baby! UGH!

TwinScheetz 1 year ago

Yes!! I also hate the term prego. I think it’s my number one pet peeve.

Joanna Quested 1 year ago

“This too shall pass”. Is that meant to be soothing?? Because I have have someones body fluids in my hair, I have been up every two hours overnight, and my two year old just discovered the impact of the word “No”. All it makes me want to do is punch you in your smug face!

Amy Nicole Pena 1 year ago

I can’t stand “we’re pregnant”! All he did was orgasm, yet we ladies aren’t even guaranteed that much but still have to go thru 9 months of never being alone or comfortable (or emotional stable!) and then the actual delivery?!
Another one is MILF. Someone explain to me how that crap is a compliment because far too many seem to think I should be giggling with excitement when called a MILF. I’m not. I’m called that and I immediately start looking for a weapon. Preferably a sharp one.

Heather Steinback Johnsen 1 year ago

Haha! Love this!

Jill Levy 1 year ago

Those educated in Early Childhood Development know that there’s a word of difference between a 24 month old and a 28 month old.

Jill Levy 1 year ago

DD, DS and DH…Thank you! Let’s all resolve to end that bullshit.

Christine Nordstrom 1 year ago

I am so old, the only one of those terms I’m familiar with is #5.

Shellie Smith 1 year ago

oh god! geriatric is worse!! lol!!

Jennifer Papillo 1 year ago

I live in Ireland and here they call it “geriatric mothers” if you’re in your late 30s like me. Ugh.

Courtney Dery 1 year ago

MILF I hate that term

San Dee 1 year ago

“Unless you’re nursing an Ewok, no more “fur baby,”

This phrase made my day! I just keep picturing it hehe

Lonna McCullen 1 year ago

I dislike the abbreviations for their babies. It’s stupid.

Tracy Evans Wilson 1 year ago

Always hated the ..”we’re pregnant”………SHE is pregnant…….HE is not ….ugh

Tracy Lynn Benally 1 year ago

I’m 30 and have an identical twin and I still get asked how old she is…

Liz 1 year ago

Thanks for new visuals I will never be able to wash out of my mind!! Haha. Loved this. These are terms that have got to go. Mucus plug, really? I don’t care how accurate it is. It’s ugly. I don’t care what biology taught me. Our bodies are unnatural.

Angela Branchaud 1 year ago

#4 and 7 seriously annoy me lol

Amber Liberty 1 year ago

I almost left my doctor when she mentioned my “advanced age” (37)

Jessica Mueller 1 year ago

Lol! I’m guilty of most of these terms in the article;)

Babyruth Bryant 1 year ago

Lol, I like the term ‘baby bump’. But I do agree you with the DH, DW, DS crap; I think abbreviating those words is dumb.

Tracy Tribble Pepper 1 year ago

I thought I was the only one who didn’t like hubby & hubs!

Kristina Moore 1 year ago

Lol. I hate mucus plug!!!!!! I hate it!

Mylynne Marie Bonnar 1 year ago

Being called prego…i really wanted to slap ppl.

Amie Miller 1 year ago

Loved that! I am happy to report that I have never said any if those things. And I totally agree. Of course I was laughing so much I cried too. :)

Brielle Morgan Neilson 1 year ago

Totally!! This is my number one pet peeve, seemingly meant to make those of us who don’t choose this parenting style feel guilty.

Kasi Murden 1 year ago

Haha no but I told my man that when we do he’s getting me a push gift for sure. After 9 months of being ill/tired/fat/strech marks I think us ladies deserve something

Andrea Maria Winkler 1 year ago

“Oh there’s only one baby, it looks like you have twins in that belly!” Had a coworker say that to me. Give me a break!

Andrea Maria Winkler 1 year ago

“You’re babies crawling/walking…..good luck with that”

Yael Freundlich Buznach 1 year ago

mom jeans! as if mom= frumpy and unflattering!

Sandra Kreiner 1 year ago

I have a 4 month old son,a five year old daughter, 4 dogs, 6 cats, 2 turtles and some fish. Before my real babies came along, my pets were my babies. I don’t love them any less. In fact, two of my dogs taught my daughter to walk when she was a baby :)

Nikki Baugh 1 year ago

Omg yes dd ds dh drive me nuts!!!

Sandra Kreiner 1 year ago

I’m all honesty, both sides have the advantage. Grated it takes longer to get ready since I have the 2, but my daughter helps out a lot when it come to the baby, she can sit and play with him while I do other things. Now that she has a sibling, she doesn’t have to cling to me

Kasi Murden 1 year ago

I like the push gift

Beatriz Ruiz 1 year ago

I hate the term “prego” are people so lazy now a days? PREGNANT!

Steph Tini 1 year ago

I also love stork cork

Steph Tini 1 year ago

Lol I thought it was darling husband darling son darling daughter.

Heather Mead Willoughby 1 year ago

Stork Cork? LMAO!!! I. LOVE. IT!!!!! So much better than the ewwww-y mucus plug. If I ever have another baby, stork cork it is!!! (-:

Sandra Kreiner 1 year ago

You also have helicopter parents, the ones that hover over their kids, that’s annoying.

Sandra Kreiner 1 year ago

My grandmother was almost 49 when she had her last child. My aunt is literally 3 years older than I am , my aunts daughter ( so I guess my cousin) is only a year older than my daughter

Louise McCullough 1 year ago

“Cry it out” I hate that term! A baby doesn’t have complex emotion difficulties that can be solved by crying it out. They cry to communicate need.

Bethany Kerr 1 year ago

Hahah stork cork def sounds much better!!

Amber Kennedy Kent 1 year ago

Double Trouble. I have twins. They are twice the joy… double the blessings…not double trouble!!

Jaime Lee Ezell 1 year ago

We spend thousands upon thousands on food, clothes, insurance, etc. for our kids. Yes, pets are cheaper. And easier. Not comparable.

L’Don Allen 1 year ago

I don’t care for any of them.

Raphaëlle Thiriet Zilio 1 year ago

Well, I don’t think the way it was described was clear. But after breastfeeding is well established, skipping a feeding is not that big a deal, no need to pump to “keep up the supply”. so new moms should also know that they don’t need to pump to get rid of the alcohol in the milk. If the alcohol is not in your system anymore, it’s not in your milk either :)

Carrie Slauson 1 year ago

Thank you!!! I get annoyed with “preggers”. It’s the same number of syllables as pregnant, but sounds like it’s a twelve year old it’s happening to.

Sandra Girres 1 year ago

Stork cork, that is just so perfect! I’m totally using that my next pregnancy!

Sandra Girres 1 year ago

Binky is a brand too :)

Meghan Nims Finch 1 year ago

“We’re pregnant”. Um, no, we’re really not. I am. I am all for push presents though. My body is effed up forever. A sapphire bracelet makes that slightly more tolerable.

Tiffani Price 1 year ago

‘We’re having a baby’….ummm no, I was…WE raised our babies, but I’m pretty sure I HAD the baby.

Ling Chan 1 year ago

I hate all the abbreviations too! And mocktail- just say juice!

Karianne Korejko Creedon 1 year ago

Baby Daddy. Hate it. How about “my child’s father”

Jenneca Reeves-Yarbrough 1 year ago

I was just being funny about rolling in it, sometimes I could just use that leftover $10 bucks and roll in it at the dollar store 😉 and yep we all Work

Marcy Johnson 1 year ago

“Working Mom” and “Stay at home Mom.” Im a MOM!!!

Meagan Stephenson 1 year ago

Most of these (most) don’t bother me that much.

Becky Funk 1 year ago

Actually, none of those bother me. I do think a push present is a bit out there, but to each their own. I can’t believe these terms bother people so much.

Kristine Carroll 1 year ago

With babies, you pay money for them over time, because obviously you don’t buy diapers and wipes on a daily basis. Whereas with pets, you pay a lot all at once, hence the vet visits. People say oh babies are so expensive, but they’re not really. At least in my opinion, especially after they’re on solid food.

Allison Diehl 1 year ago

I prefer the term “paycheck mom.” You can’t assume someone with a paycheck is ‘rolling in it” and you every mom “works.”

Kristine Carroll 1 year ago

I agree Kera, I don’t mind the term at all, I have 2 cats. My husband always talks about down-sizing but I won’t, cause they are my babies too!, along with my daughter.

Allison Diehl 1 year ago

My husband thought DH meant “designated hitter.” I agree with you on all those terms. May I add some of my least favorites? Grand Baby (primarily used by older women), Baby Wearing (gives me visions of wearing your child as a lifestyle or fashion accessory – I’m fine with slings and carriers though), and worst of all: Baby Daddy.

Allison Diehl 1 year ago

My husband thought DH meant “designated hitter.” I agree with you on all those terms. May I add some of my least favorites? Grand Baby (primarily used by older women), Baby Wearing (gives me visions of wearing your child as a lifestyle or fashion accessory – I’m fine with slings and carriers though), and worst of all: Baby Daddy.

Kristine Carroll 1 year ago

I had never heard of it before either, until now. I delivered my daughter naturally with an obnoxious nurse screaming in my ear the entire time, telling me to relax when in fact, I was trying to labor a baby! I think I should’ve gotten something…lol

Sara Altman 1 year ago

“Oh I have babysat nieces/nephews/baby cousins..I know what being a parent is all about” uhm…you don’t know shit until that child is 100% yours and you can’t give them back when your tired or want to go out for the night…

Lisa Altman Gelman 1 year ago

I’m enjoying some of these comments, but absolutely none of the terms in the article bother me in the slightest.

Christina Ridley Kasprzyk 1 year ago

Push present FTW! Though I’ll never think of the term pump and dump in the same way ever again now!!

Christina Vessells Baldridge 1 year ago

Preggo and preggers are very annoying however

Christina Vessells Baldridge 1 year ago

Effacement is a medical term. Suck it up. I actually think most of these are silly

Jenneca Reeves-Yarbrough 1 year ago

To the working moms/dads…I praise you…such badasses! And that term should be more like Double Time working Mommies, having a job is one thing, raising kids is another, to do them both is simply hardcore! <3 u ladies!!!

Kristine Carroll 1 year ago

When you’re far enough along in your pregnancy and someone goes, “Do you know what you’re having??” It’s like, um yeah usually a baby. It just bothers me I dont know why lol.

Kristine Carroll 1 year ago

My daughter has a gross motor delay, so people think she’s younger than she actually is because she’s not walking. She will be 19 months in a few days, and normally I would just say she’s 1, but I think people would look at me funny because she’s so tiny and is only crawling still.

Mariah Hill-Chappel 1 year ago

Oh that is what the DD, DH,and DS mean I was so confused.

Nicole Brongiel Laughridge 1 year ago

Nesting. Just bc we don’t allow our house to be filthy it must mean we’re nesting. Has nothing to do with being a responsible adult.

Christy Crotser 1 year ago

I hate “nursing in public.” Try, “I’m feeding my kid, what the hell do you want from me?”

Also, the question I get when people find out how close together my kids are: “You know what causes that, right?”

Nadia Arias 1 year ago

A push present???!!! My son is 5 why have I never heard of this! Lol but its ridiculous! Getting a present for pushing out your baby!! What if you don’t get a present will you keep the baby hostage in there?! What is wrong with the world? Lol I loved the article. And agree with it!!

Carrie Olsen 1 year ago


Dani Yeager Driggers 1 year ago

Preggo and preggers.

Rebeka Ouellette-Ames 1 year ago

“Baby blues”… So cute sounding… But a blatant understatement that does nothing to prepare you for the punch to the face that those first few weeks are… And obviously a term invented by a man…

Tiffini Danielle Lance 1 year ago

Pumping and dumping isn’t necessary!

Laura Smith-Powell 1 year ago

Hated preggo and preggers. Prego is a spaghetti sauce folks and when I hear preggers I immediately think Doomsday Preggers (Preppers) lol

Marlee O’Dowd 1 year ago

Women like that. Words are stupid but until social media and the news stops using them, society won’t either.

Camille Z DuBois 1 year ago

I don’t get why any of these bother anyone so bad?!

Jamie Meteer 1 year ago

Fur baby.

Andrea Wiegand 1 year ago

#4 for sure! It took me the longest time to figure out what those meant on baby blogs. Lol

Marnie Brost 1 year ago

Preggos, preggie, ready to pop

Heather Williams 1 year ago

“Play date” hate it!

Trisha Simões 1 year ago

ALL OF THESE, thank you for the DH, etc bullshit. And here’s my official vote for “stork cork”. Best term for anything ever.

Alicia Collins-Goveia 1 year ago

Amen! Push present? When did that even happen?

Gretchen Gaborik 1 year ago

Yes, #4 drives me crazy! Also, along the lines of the opening anectdote, I hated the term “advanced maternal age” during my prenatal appointments. I guess it is better than hearing I was OLD but I knew what it meant!

Kay Ninalee 1 year ago

I think the reason people say full time mom is because they don’t get a break. They are always with their kids and always doing for their kids. A lot of them, myself included, starve for adult interaction. When you work away from home, you get that adult socialization. You get a break from your kids.

Loraine Ahearn Mintzer 1 year ago

You’ve just got a case of the “baby blues”….

Hunter Szigety 1 year ago

You’re not pumping and dumping to clear your system, you’re pumping to make up for the feedings you’ll miss while the alcohol is still in your body, to keep your production up. But you have to dump it because you can’t use it. Pump and dump.

Alexis Bruzzi 1 year ago

“Working mother” and anything in acronym form. “DH”? Eww.

Sarah Weinstein 1 year ago

I’m an awful mother apparently – I only ‘pumped and dumped’ once in 4 kids. I was never fall down drunk but, a couple of glasses of wine or a drink? I figured they would finally sleep.

Marta Milea 1 year ago

#4 and #7 drive me nuts

Cassie Mullin 1 year ago

Add preggo and preggers to this list

Lindsey Barnett 1 year ago

“This to shall pass.” When?????????????

Suzanne Zimmer 1 year ago

Any term for parenting like “Oh we do attachment parenting” or “we peacefully parent” etc etc those are the only ones I can think of off the top of my head. why do you need to NAME how you parent? just PARENT. it does NOT need a fuckin’ name!

rachel 1 year ago

I have to admit that until reading this, those acronyms annoyed me because I didn’t know what they meant and I saw them everywhere. Now that I know, they’re even more annoying because they’re stupid.

Autumn Marshall 1 year ago

I’m more of an in the car mom myself, if I had time to stay at home I might actually clean it!

Michelle 1 year ago

I hate the term ‘Push Present’ too. It sounded like a transaction, as in you get a pressie in exchange for giving your husband a baby. Oh well, maybe I’m just bitter because I didn’t receive any.

Kristin Trippett 1 year ago

Never heard of a babymoon or gender reveal party, now I feel like a loser lol and why are there only push presents, what about cut-open presents? My organs were removed from my body and shoved back in, that doesn’t deserve a present?! I want a present and a babymoon now lol

Lucy 1 year ago

I hate the term baby wearing. Makes your baby sound like an accessory. Really gets my goat!

Natalie Dowden-Roddy 1 year ago

When stay at home moms say they are a “full time mother”… We are all FULL TIME moms…. When I am at work, I am still a mom…. Almost like implying that working moms are part time moms! Ticks me off!

Anke Snyman 1 year ago

Stork cork?! Hahaha!

Aubrey Gass 1 year ago

None of those really bother me, except “preggers”, idk why.
I never heard of Push Present, is that a gift for delivering a baby? If it is I want a medium well steak and a beer lol

Julie Fosler 1 year ago

Push presents are ridiculous. Why do these girls think they need a gift? Grow up.

Jessica Farrell 1 year ago

DS, DH, DD = incredibly stupid. If you have a son, it actually takes the same (or more) time to type DS than son (because you either hit Caps Lock, or Shift+letter each time). So what’s the point?! And yes, typing out daughter or husband takes an extra fraction of a second. So if you must abbreviate why not simply D for daughter and H for husband?? Why oh why the “dear” part?

Sherease Renee 1 year ago

#7 is my BIGGEST pet peeve!

Brittany Bishop 1 year ago

I hate when people say fur baby….

Melissa Olson 1 year ago

Stork cork had me cracking up. No fur baby here, but I have dubbed my dog the ‘fur beast’ lol.

JD Katsonis 1 year ago

YES! W/4 kids under 7, out running errands – I hear it ALL the time!

Lisa Arnold Dyer 1 year ago


Deb Miller 1 year ago

Just heard “love the baby bump. It’s my fave” at the ob/gyn. Barf.

Maria Sandström 1 year ago

Parents that have two or more kids always keep telling me that one child is sooo easy. I have one kid and seriously the little critter can drive me f*cking crazy at times! But nooo I keep getting told that I can’t express my frustration because one kid is a lot easier than two or more. Jealousy maybe? Every time someone tells me that it’s easy to have ONE kid I always feel like telling them to go fuck themselves!

JD Katsonis 1 year ago


Jennifer Torres 1 year ago

“Mommy brain”

Michele Johnson Mott 1 year ago

I can’t stand gender reveal. So ridiculous. I also hate stupid names for pacifiers, specifically, paci! Like nails on a chalkboard! Nuk, nukie, binky,. ..they’re all terrible. Baby talking to babies/toddlers. Hello! They’re learning how to talk, from you, don’t f that up by speaking in a ridiculous manner.

Kris Mudrock 1 year ago

Pump and dump?! Not only a stupid term but also completely unnecessary!!!

Jemellia Hilfiger 1 year ago

Pregnant brain, ugh.

Joanne Coy 1 year ago

Pets are cheaper! Do you pay almost half a million or more over your pets lifetime? No? I hate the terms preggers prego and the like.

Jessica Farrell 1 year ago

I’m curious how a biological mom who uses a surrogate feels about this? Technically the mom isn’t the one who is pregnant (not by choice), but it is her baby growing. I wonder if anyone has experience with this and can shed light on what term they prefer.

Rachel La Forte Hancock 1 year ago

“stork cork”??? I can’t even *falls off chair laughing*

Judy Freyder 1 year ago

Very funny article!!! Loved it!!!

Jessica Farrell 1 year ago

My 5 year old recently asked me if it’s “really called a pee-pee part” and I said “no, it’s a vagina.” Time she learned!

Kimmberli Franzen Ahasic 1 year ago

Baby bump, “bump it up”, bump bump bump…. Drives me nuts!!!

Rose Fallier 1 year ago

Double trouble. I have twins and strangers will stop me just to say that. Really?

Anne-Marie Johnson Leake 1 year ago

Yeh, even at 39 I was very indignant about the whole “Elderly Primigravida” thing. Agree on all of these. What do you call the gift if you have a c-section??

Aisha R Crenshaw 1 year ago

I hate it when my kids are driving me nuts and people say well, enjoy every second because time goes by so fast. No shit! Who the hell enjoys hours of whining?

Jackie Delaney 1 year ago

Stork cork! LOVE IT! also I hate play date too!! refuse to say play date!!

Cressida Edwards 1 year ago


Colleen Yukes Devereux 1 year ago

Play date! Ugh!

Catherine Root Sibuma 1 year ago

Preggers, preggo, attachment parenting, natural mama…

Jennifer Gowans 1 year ago

I HATE the term ‘making strange’! My baby isn’t ‘making’ anything (except his opinion known) … He just doesn’t want your face 1 inch from his, or your hands all over him; I’d probably cry too if ‘unknown’ people were constantly doing this to me too, lol!

Jessica Ambra Puntarich 1 year ago

Months when saying age over a year ex she’s 16 months, 22 months, 35 months. Wtf? Just round

AFCDCM 1 year ago

I cannot stand the trend of referring to oneself in the third-person as “one tired momma” or “one frustrated momma” or “one stressed out momma.” Maybe this is just a thing in the Midwest, but it’s everywhere and it drives me CRAZY. It’s just all about mothers being martyrs, and that royally bugs me…parenthood was your choice, my friend. I swear, if someone made shirts that said “My life is harder than yours; I’m one tired momma,” these women would buy them in bulk.

Julie 1 year ago

Most of these are obnoxious. Especially DH, DD and DS. I don’t mind the term effaced so much, but I cringe every time I hear the cervix has “ripened”. You know what happens after fruits and veggies ripen? They get old and moldy. Gross.

Stacy Ann Westerman 1 year ago

Yeah I hate gender reveal. Especially since it isn’t accurate. I didn’t have a party like this but if I had the invitation would have said “sex reveal” is giant glittery letters. Won’t know the gender for another year or two.

Miriam Park 1 year ago

My 12 year old once said “oh, we left the others at home!” Proudest moment of my life.

Christie Iobst 1 year ago

#4 all the way.

Alice Pek 1 year ago

We’re pregnant

Tiffany BG 1 year ago

Do you know anyone who uses them in real life? As in not online. I use them when online because it’s just easier, especially when I have 3 kids to refer to and I don’t want to use their real names. But I don’t use them in an actual face to face conversation, that would he weird.

christine k 1 year ago

I was cracking jokes all through my active/late labour. Who says the smile is staged? (and no I had no pain meds… labour really didn’t hurt like people claimed it would)

Miriam Park 1 year ago

I have four boys and a girl too. How about when strangers ask if you planned them…or if you’re going to have more.

Julie Rowell 1 year ago

Prego and hubby make me cringe every time!!!

AFCDCM 1 year ago

I definitely hate the term, but the idea actually isn’t a bad one. One last trip as a twosome can bolster a relationship that’s about to face a daunting task…and it doesn’t have to be somewhere tropical and expensive, although that admittingly is the trend.

Alyssa King 1 year ago

I second the vote for “stork cork”

Michelle Noplis Nascimento 1 year ago

Call me a helicopter mom because I supervise my kids and I’ll call your children ‘free-range’. That’s right

Kylie 1 year ago

I hate tummy time too! How about are they exercising their muscles evenly?

Michelle Painter 1 year ago

Want to lose weight? Live a healthier lifestyle but do not have the time to prepare 3 healthy meals a day? Add my page or inbox me to find out how you could lose up too 3 stone on our 16 week diet plan

Laura Hohm 1 year ago

omg all of these drive me nuts, what a spot on list!!

also, regarding pump and dump, if your’e safe to drive, you’re safe to feed it to the baby. the content, if any, is minute.

Camille Ruckman 1 year ago

Get rid of the word ‘veggies’ while we’re at it.

Jenn Freaxx 1 year ago

For me tantrums… My god exorist baby lol.

Amie I-e Ayala 1 year ago


Mel 1 year ago

They are and always will be my fur babies, they have fur and are also my babies whether they are human or not. Other than that I agree

Vanessa Cianci Saenz 1 year ago

This is so great! Stork cork is my new favorite!!!

Not really pregnancy related but wifey/hubby drive me up the wall. And can we stop referring to our best friends as a “bestie” after the age of 13?! You are 28, you sound ridiculous!

I also hate prego (I’m not a pasta sauce) and prefers. My friend and I use preggly as an f u to the other options!

Cathleen Castle Hyde 1 year ago

My husband surprised me with a set of pearls. I didn’t ask for or expect anything. I don’t get why it’s such a big deal. It was our money and doesn’t affect a single other person in the world.

Sara Wolcott 1 year ago

I agree with these.. my sister and I were just talking about the “mucus plug” one last week…

Krystle Pizzano Cole 1 year ago

Definitely #4 for me! Lol

Cathleen Castle Hyde 1 year ago

I didn’t expect or ask for anything. But if my husband wants to surprise me with a set of pearls after birth (he did), I can’t stop him.

Rebecca Ferguson 1 year ago

I can deal with all the acronyms and silly prego but when someone says they just “pop” their child on the butt or hand but doesn’t spank. OMG I get so mad.

Lisa Jacobs Cronin 1 year ago

Lol. Stork cork.

Meagan 1 year ago

Preggo. I HATE preggo. I’m growing a human, not a waffle.

Misty Elliott 1 year ago

There were only a couple of newer ones on there that I thought were stupid. Like push present and dh, dd, so on. Most of the rest have been around forever…..and fur baby? Who cares. To some people they are like having a child. Sometimes they are they only family they have……I think the only thing that really irritates me is referring to a child by months after the age of two. Two is pushing it! I read somewhere a mom referred to her child as an 86 month old. Get a grip.

Gretchen Kellaway 1 year ago

I didn’t read the other replies. But I was totally going to say this.. I had a woman tell me her child was 38 months the other day! Dude seriously?!?!?!

Leidy Guillen 1 year ago

Wtf… who gives a fuck.

Ashley 1 year ago

1000 times yes! Bloody show makes me cringe. I know the birth process isn’t a romantic comedy, but we don’t have to feel like we are heading into our own personal horror story.

Bree Leon 1 year ago

So much #4!

Lorraine Neil 1 year ago

Pump and dump is INACCURATE. It will not take the alcohol out of your breast milk. This is dangerously misleading information!

The Preemie Mommy 1 year ago

Good one!

Cathleen Castle Hyde 1 year ago

Working mothers are stigmatized too. Actually, it’s just women and mothers in general.

Amy Lynn 1 year ago

This lady gets too upset about the little things.

Jamie-Lynn 1 year ago

HATE the acronyms too! Makes it so much harder to read./understand even though I know what they mean. In the beginning I thought they meant Dumb Husband… and when someone told me it was Dear I didn’t really believe it or thought it was sarcastic. Either way, Hate it!

Yarrow W. Goding 1 year ago

As far as I’m concerned, it gets harder. EVERY one of those mobility milestone meant I had to lock down my house and amp my paranoia while in public even more. When she started running and climbing…

Heidi Thor 1 year ago

I’m sorry, I had to “lol” lol! Some of these are pretty funny 😀

Belinda Conley Risher 1 year ago

“Was my uterus sprouting chin hairs”…I just snorted up my coffee!!!

Mari Kristine 1 year ago

I disagree my son was not walking at 12 months, but he was at 13. He didn’t start talking until 14 months. The months are still important during the second year of life, so it’s reasonable to pay attention to those months.

Juliette Sasek 1 year ago

Thanks for explaining what it meant. Now, I can hate it too!

Heather Nolen Kelly 1 year ago

I always imagined having at least 2 but now we are financially tapped out and pretty old so I am trying to accept that this is it. I was doing good but now my son is 6 and asks for a brother or sister all of the time, wishes his friends were his brothers and wants to know why he can’t have, doesn’t have one. One time a lady actually asked me…Don’t you think it’s selfish and unfair to him to not have a sibling? He’s going to be so lonely. I seriously wanted to smack her.

Mikel Noel Bechtold 1 year ago

This isn’t really a motherhood term but I hate when people refer to their husbands as “hubby”. Makes me cringe a little.

Angela Finkel 1 year ago

That’s great that you have stored milk for your baby. It’s good to have that option. A mother can breastfeed her baby after drinking if enough time has lapsed as the alcohol leaves the body and the milk. Usually about 2 hours per drink. As one poster commented, some mothers will pump to maintain the production and to relieve engorgement.

Yarrow W. Goding 1 year ago

Seriously. We are not pucking 10 times a day, getting IV fluids through the summer, getting hot flashes and hormonal psychosis, getting our guts kicked, getting sliced open to get this kid out.

Jenneca Reeves-Yarbrough 1 year ago

Yep. All of that. If the general governments were smart they’d pay parents like doctors or more so their country’s had happy healthy people, instead of the growing sadness taking over

Maura Linkowski 1 year ago

I hate when people ask if my son is a good baby. He has colic, and chews his food when he nurses. But he is an infant, he doesn’t do things to deliberately bother me. It’s not like babies are out knocking over liquor stores!!

Angela Finkel 1 year ago

Babies aren’t good or bad. They’re just babies.

Samantha Smith 1 year ago

I hate the term elderly mother. For anyone over the age of 30.

Kera Marie Reidy 1 year ago

I just had to pay $500 for my cat to have dental work and my dogs medicine is $300/month because she has Cushing disease. The last time I took my three cats to the vet it cost me $265. Lol pets aren’t cheaper, sorry!

Heidi Fyfe 1 year ago

Kiddos. Just say kids!

Lacie Lynch 1 year ago


Ashley Traylor Spigener 1 year ago

Or when they say weeks before a year old…She’s 27 weeks old!

Angela Finkel 1 year ago

Gender Reveal?! Wow!

Kay 1 year ago

my push present was a massage the day after… Although as another woman posted, it was more of a slice and dice present. Best massage I’ve ever had! I don’t really care that much for jewelry, so the massage was definitelyan incredible gift!
And “playdates” before i had kids and when my child was too young to actually play seemed like an idiotic term but now that he can play I’m on board.

Jessika Mason 1 year ago

LOL! I do hate “fur babies.” Not the same as kids in the least! For one, pets are cheaper! :)

Maura Linkowski 1 year ago

Right?! Plus I feel like I’m pretty attached to my kids, even if I don’t follow some specified checklist of do’s and don’ts. To use that word is to suggest that all other parents are just acquaintances with their babies.

Shannon Marie Greener 1 year ago

Seriously? This required an article? I seriously think the woman who wrote this needs to get a life.

Candice Wilson StOnge 1 year ago

Ohh that makes sense. Thanks Angela. I have never heard that term before. It’s actually nicer sounding than mucous plug. Haha

Heather 1 year ago

Advanced Maternal Age.
You know, the ripe old age of 37…?

Mari Kristine 1 year ago

I hate, hate, hate “prego”! I just find it to be so…irreverent. I don’t necessarily take pregnancy super, super seriously, but the way that people say “prego” makes it just a joke and I don’t like it.

At all.

Pregnancy is beautiful and empowering (and sometimes difficult and gross), but lets treat it like the life-changing event it is.

Let prego die.

Chrissy Reinhard Stahlin 1 year ago

Oh whoops I was thinking this was one of those support pages my bad

Rebecca Contreras 1 year ago

I don’t mind b/c with “mommy brain” I can’t remember the real terms anyway lol

Ashley Traylor Spigener 1 year ago

The Hubs is just as bad for me too! I hate those other terms too.

Brandi Fletcher 1 year ago

Prego and preggers bug me… sounds trashy. And when people are still referring to their kids ages in months… after 24… just stop!!!!

MaryKate Branson 1 year ago


Giovanna Capane Holden 1 year ago

1, 3, 4, & 7. But mostly 7. I love all 4 of my pets, but even when we were childless they were still pets. I jokingly refer to my brother’s dogs as my furry nephews, but we all know it’s just for fun.

Holly Banks Griffith 1 year ago

I never knew what the DD,DH,DS stood for. I agree…it’s stupid. Stop using it!!

Wendy 1 year ago

I completely agree on these, yes I may be guilty on using a few of them though lol. I remember when I first found Scary Mommy I was confused with DH,DS, etc. Hey I never got a push present, I’d just be happy if my child takes a nap today 😉

Cindy Carroll Cross 1 year ago

“Sleep when the baby sleeps.” Yeah right!!!!

Lacey Ducsay 1 year ago

It’s a different kind of love that us first time moms have never felt before. So I think it’s more than appropriate to talk about that new love.

Holli Lee 1 year ago

And preggers. Pregnant has the same amount of letters, just use it.

Kay 1 year ago

Yes, yes, yes!! I absolutely hate those terms. The only time i give in to them is when I’m writing a scary mommy confession .sometimes it is hard to get all my bitching into the word limit!

Holli Lee 1 year ago

I HATE the dumb DH, DS, DW, DD thing!

Ashley Traylor Spigener 1 year ago

Yes!! I was just thinking about this the other day.

Rose Walker 1 year ago

the other day someone asked how old my daughter is and that day she did happen to be 13 months. I said 1 year. They asked me is today her birthday? Me, “No, she turned one a month ago.” Them.” So, she’s 13 months?” Months are only relevant to doctors and vaccine schedules. Yes there is a massive difference in development between a 12 month old and an 18 month old. But if you know kids you’ll be pretty sure which one you’re dealing wiht.

Ashley Traylor Spigener 1 year ago

I hate prego too! Or Preggers. They are the same amount of syllables as pregnant. Just say pregnant!!

Jennifer Clark Jones 1 year ago

Hot Mess- sounds like a big steaming pile of lunchroom poo….

Sarah Butterfield 1 year ago

I hate the term ‘nesting’, drives me bonkers!

Angela Sheets 1 year ago

Preggers is a term I completely hate! I find it so trashy!!

Angie 1 year ago

The term that makes me sick is “preggers”. I’m sorry, the term sounds so trashy.

chill 1 year ago

Hahaha!! I don’t like the dh, dd, ds acronyms either. In my head, I translate them with a “damn” instead of “dear”. XD

Mandi Loranger 1 year ago

hahaha! On my mom’s group we say it can mean any number of things depending on how you feel about your husband that day…darling, damn, douche, etc

Mandi Loranger 1 year ago

I saw someone refer to their child as being 72 months old…I actually pulled out the calculator for that one! That’s severe overkill right there.

Nicole Vineyard 1 year ago

American cheese and tortilla chips! I’m in love with this woman! My thoughts exactly

Mandi Loranger 1 year ago

Since my dog looks exactly like an Ewok, that part made me laugh extra hard!

Chris Becker Omerod 1 year ago

All I know is that a DH is the designated hitter.

Zippo 1 year ago

Ha! You sing it sister. I thought I was the only one who got driven crazy by the term “baby bump.” Seriously.

As for the commentors who hate babymoon, I’m with you too. The first time I heard it, I was massively pregnant, and I pictured the baby orbiting around me, like a moon, because I was clearly heavy enough to have my own gravitational pull.
That’s not a moon… that’s a Deathstar.

Jocelyn Chorney 1 year ago


Katy Ake 1 year ago

Well some people get pregnant from a one night stand. Doesn’t mean there was any caring involved. And if a father isn’t acting like a dad then e deserves the name Sperm donor not dad.

Rachel Clelland-Spitz 1 year ago

Pump & chug!

Stacy Arnold 1 year ago

Yes! Same here. Some people don’t understand the infertility struggle. I’d love to give him a brother or sister but alas, 3 years into trying and nothing. Not all of us are fertile myrtles!

Krissa Sturzione 1 year ago

Attachment Parenting. Seriously, I love my child but I don’t want to feel like I’m growing a parasitic twin. I want my child to have independence and be able to problem solve for himself.

Chris Becker Omerod 1 year ago


Christin L. Goff 1 year ago

This may not really fit here, but I truly dislike when grown people talk to children in the strange language called ‘baby talk.’ As if they would never understand regular speech.

Tash Rowe 1 year ago

When I had kids our babies had Witching hour(s) and growth spurts. The babies these days are purple crying and have mental leaps!! What the?!?!

Michelle Rojas Shuman 1 year ago

It is for the records medical transcriptions type. A women is usually labled para, gravida. A women over 30 is labeled advanced maternal age para, gravida because these women tend to be higher risk than their “younger” counterparts and insurance companies want to know why their paying for you to see the Obgyn every 2 weeks for 9 months.

Shannon Vargesko 1 year ago


Sarah Koebler 1 year ago

Also, Prego is spaghetti sauce. Period.

Sarah Koebler 1 year ago

I HATE the DH, DS, DD. Took me forever to figure out wth they were to start. I DO have fur babies though. I bottle fed them both, and as a single mom, aside from my children, they are the loves of my life!

Jen Mooney Dimler 1 year ago

I wasn’t called “elderly” but I did hear “advanced maternal age” at 37. Ouch!! That hurt more than labor.

Ackerman Mikasa 1 year ago

I believe that after you have the baby, you should really stop counting weeks. It’s annoying enough during pregnancy as it is!

Tash Rowe 1 year ago

I know right?!?! That’s a sauce!!!

Natalie Muskin-Press 1 year ago

I hate “baby blues” it completely trivializes the difficult transition post partum and probably means women don’t seek help for post partum depression early enough.

Caitlin Bowman 1 year ago

I guess I have bigger things to worry about than the way people talk lol good humor though.

Jamie Wysel Krug 1 year ago

“Baby bump”. For me, it went from just looking chubby to “when are THEY due?” (They was just “he” and the answer was “in three months”). I went from nothing to mountain seemingly overnight.

Kera Marie Reidy 1 year ago

I have three of my own and a step son. Why?

Melissa Simmons 1 year ago

Not to mention the stigma that comes with that title.
Society says all stay at home moms do is push out babies, eat, sit on the couch, and watch TV/play on Facebook. Stay at home dads are stay at home dads because they are lazy and can’t hold a job.

Katy Ake 1 year ago

It’s those women who do everything natural. No plastic, no stre bought cleaners, all organic, kids can have only organic wooden toys. I picture hippie like.

Kristin Kelley 1 year ago

I was thinking the same thing about the push present lol.

Tiffany McDaniel 1 year ago

Kate joiner brambrut- I know that, and that’s not what I meant. Just because an infant has some issues when they are a newborn does not make them a “bad” baby. Yes, they are trying at times and hellacious, but they don’t know any better. Do you know what I mean? It’s very disheartening to a first time mom for this to happen and everyone asks if you have a good baby and you think you are doing something wrong, when in fact it is pretty common. I feel like I can’t explain this correctly with typed words. Lol

Angie Vessey 1 year ago

Attachment Patenting: Who isn’t attached to their kids??? It should be called OCD parenting.

Casey Crotchfelt 1 year ago

You don’t have to pump and dump unless you’re engorged. Just don’t nurse while drunk.

Danielle Bennett 1 year ago

The point of pumping is to tell your body you still need to need make milk, not to start fresh. It also helps fight against becoming engorged which can lead to mastitis.

Breastfeeding is supply and demand. The more output, the more your body produces.

Erin Vuono 1 year ago

One term that made me cringe during childbirth classes was “bag of waters”. What? How can water be plural? And it was always said like it was this mystical thing. Ew.

MamaLu 1 year ago

I like “Stork Cork”!
My least favorite pregnancy term was one I happened to see when sneaking a peek on my chart: “habitual aborter.” Sadly, I had a few miscarriages, but don’t make it sound like I did it on purpose because I’ve developed a bad habit.

Katy Ake 1 year ago

NUK is a brand. So we called them all NUKS. My son started calling them his kuk. I don’t get binkie though.

Michelle Oakleaf 1 year ago

Baby mama. Hate it.

Robyn Wold 1 year ago

” prego” drives me insane with rage.

Laura Genevieve 1 year ago

Sleeping Through The Night. STTN. It’s defined as 5 straight hours and that is NOT through the night. It’s also become some sort of bragging point that’s supposed to mean either you are some baby whispering sleep ninja expert or have a “good” baby, implying other babies suck.

Sophie Thompson 1 year ago


Katy Ake 1 year ago

At 39 you are nearing peri menopause. I think that’s why hey say that.

melissa 1 year ago

psh I went on one with my husband with our THIRD kid. All I wanted was some down time with my husband before I had a newborn permanently attached to my boob. Though we went somewhere closer to the mountains and we were pretty frugal about it. So maybe not a baby moon?

Jen 1 year ago

Probably the same as what I had.. The wall between the birthing canal and rectum tears open because there was too much pressure during birth. Yeah.. no fun.. It’s literally like being ripped a new one. That was my joke to keep me sane through the process.. I also have a shiny little dragon made of silver that my kid’s father got me.. but I agree that the term for that does suck..

Kysa Miner Medina 1 year ago

Love #’s 3, 4 & 7!!!!

Becky Mochaface 1 year ago

Sometimes DH stands for dear husband. And sometimes it stands for damn husband. I only use it on Twitter though where characters are limited.

Katy Ake 1 year ago

Eh. That one doesn’t bother me. I have a 9 yr old, 8 yr old, and 6 yr old. So yes my hands are full and when I worked they were fuller. If people want to comment.. Whatever. They aren’t lying.

Kate Joiner Brambrut 1 year ago

Um..every baby is most certainly NOT a good baby…I love my two children with all my heart, and they are happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids, but they were both hellacious as infants…screamed nonstop for hours on end, never slept, wouldn’t eat…did I mention the nonstop screaming? 😉

Melissa Simmons 1 year ago

What does it mean?

Terri Lemery 1 year ago

LO for little one drives me batty! Just say/type son, daughter, child, baby, kid or heaven forbid you take the time to type “little one” – it’s your child, are they not worth the nanosecond it takes to type the words?

Karen Hale-Evans 1 year ago

Sleep when they sleep……err no when they sleep you spend that time catching up on chores or dealing with household jobs. I never got to sleep when any of my 3 were babies.

Marcela Marchesini Kapfer 1 year ago

3, 4, and 7! Also, I stop counting by months once they reach a year old.

Christine Guenther 1 year ago

I hate Helicopter parent. my son is 4, gets into everything, doesn’t screech to a stop the first time I say stop, and will either get hurt or break something valuable that belongs to someone else. he still needs lots of supervision when we are out. so stop telling me to settle down, have a drink and relax. I would love to, but my kid is 4.

Melissa Simmons 1 year ago

I actually had no idea what they meant til now.

Michelle Witkowski Glowacki 1 year ago


Erika Heller 1 year ago

I think some people need to develop a sense of humor. So serious

Erin 1 year ago

a thousand agree on “we’re pregnant”. Arrrrg!

Ashley Jones 1 year ago

I got a push present. I didn’t know it was a thing. When my husband surprised me and said “here baby it’s your push present” wth? Haha. But it was sweet. It was a simple necklace with my daughters and my husband’s birth stones. I hate the term “crunchie mom”

Erin Rogers 1 year ago

Prego, preggers, push present, “crunchy” and “silky”

Kylon M Fonsworth Colinet 1 year ago

Co-sleeping, tummy time

Jill Alave 1 year ago

Preggers, prego, kiddo

Melissa Warren 1 year ago

Me either! I just thought I didn’t know because I was of Advanced Maternal Age (insert sarcastic emoji here)

Kristin Kelley 1 year ago

I have 2 little girls (2 & 11 mos) and only women tell me I have my hands full. I find it almost insulting. Like I can’t handle my life.

Amanda Chambers Hoffpauir 1 year ago

LOVE this!!!

Kelly Smith 1 year ago

Tummy time. Blech!

Rebecca Davey 1 year ago

Actually, pump and dump is unnecessary and doesn’t work. The alcohol is held in your blood, not your milk. Small amounts may be excreted in the breast milk but dumping it out doesn’t rid your body of it.

Joan Nelson 1 year ago

“Working Mom”

Jennifer Vizcarra 1 year ago

Personally, I like stork cork!

Heather Mitchell 1 year ago

Ya after going through natural labor I damn well deserved whatever I wanted. I got a Vera Bradley purse because during labor it made me feel better knowing I got to go shopping afterwards. Yes I was also saying my whole labor “each contraction is one more contraction closer to seeing your baby”

Kristin Johnson 1 year ago

I hate the term “play date”!

Misty Manley 1 year ago

I actually refuse to participate in any sites that use DH/DS/DD. I loathe it THAT much. It sounds like I should be wearing a pearl necklace and pushing a vacuum cleaner. Dahhhling!

Kristin Campasano 1 year ago

I hate when people call their babies prince and princess, you’re not royalty so stop it. Also hate when first time moms say how much they love their newborn. Well duh!!! Don’t we all love our babies!?!? .

Reilly O’Donnell Figenscher 1 year ago

Yikes. If you can’t handle the medical terms that come along with pregnancy then maybe you should check your maturity level. Also, I have no issue with the term fur baby. This article just came off as really juvenile. “Eeeewwwww mucus plug, the female body is soooo grosssssss!”

Heather Mitchell 1 year ago

Singleton is also awful

Brittany Brian Wemet 1 year ago

After one it should just be years!

Melissa Warren 1 year ago

I almost cried when I was told that I was Advanced Maternal Age with my last baby at 36.

Anna Frost-Tims 1 year ago

I can’t stand when people call a sippy cup a sippy and leave out cup. Also, when a pacifier is called anything other than pacifier. It’s not a nunu, nunie, bin key or anything else.

kate 1 year ago

I HATE “pop” or, looks like you’re ready to pop! That is NOT what happens, its not a piñata or some confetti in a can. That term makes me really crazy.

Heather Mitchell 1 year ago

Do you have children?

Stacey Herb 1 year ago

No Denise, it is not safe to say that we don’t like it because we didn’t get gifts after giving birth. But it is ridiculous to expect an expensive gift (the ladies i heard were talking about diamonds and purses) for pushing out their babies.

Candice Wilson StOnge 1 year ago

What the hell is a stork cork?

FutureNFLmom 1 year ago

I can’t stand it when someone says “There’s a baby in my stomach!”. My son, as a very small child looked mortified when a woman asked if he wanted to feel the baby in her stomach. He asked her if she ate a baby!

Candice Wilson StOnge 1 year ago

Crunchy = hippie mom

Candice Wilson StOnge 1 year ago

A term used to describe “hippie” moms

Shannon Chesney Lindau 1 year ago

3 & 7!

Lynsey Russell 1 year ago

Cuppie and binky. It’s a damn cup and a pacifier. I also hate the word wubbanub. My daughter loves hers but who the hell came up with that name?!

Joanna Castellano Festa 1 year ago

OMG! #4 drives me insane!

Casey Coleman 1 year ago

So freaking funny!!! The push present is one I hate, I didn’t get a push present I got sore nipples and a csection scar lol and forever more I will now refer to the revolting sounding mucus plug as the baby stopper cause that’s gold lol, you really have to have a sense of humor from the minute you conceive.

FutureNFLmom 1 year ago

OMG this is so awesome, I can’t even begin to say it!!

Candice Wilson StOnge 1 year ago

The push present thing drives me bonkers.

Candice Wilson StOnge 1 year ago

Yes!!!! To all of this

amber 1 year ago

I agree with a lot of these ESPECIALLY DD, DS, and DH. It still throws me off when I see it, lol. But baby bump seems accurate to me.I only have a bump there bc there’s a baby. Stomach is inaccurate and belly could work but baby bump explains exactly why I protrude just where there’s a baby. Right? :-)

Danielle Vales 1 year ago

Sammy, (and beth) the reason is there’s a decent sized developmental gap between 2y0m and 2y11m. Parent’s who say ’24 months’ are usually doing it because their baby is doing something advanced for that age (not always but sometimes)

dee 1 year ago

What do you mean blow out?

Rachel Horne 1 year ago


Lucy Cocks 1 year ago

crunchy??? am I missing something??

Rachel Horne 1 year ago


Ellen 1 year ago

I used to call it pump and release, like catch and release fishing. That made me feel better about the whole waste of milk. Terms I hate: play date and baby moon, but we’re pregnant makes my skin crawl.

Katy Lynn 1 year ago

You forgot to add LO to the list for little one! Hahaha

Jessica Truckner 1 year ago

I didn’t like her article after push present. Effaced is a medical term. Mucus plug is also a medical term. Get over yourself, you come across pompous and rude.

Sue 1 year ago

I understand babymoon to be the time period after the baby is born when you cancel extra activities and focus on the new baby.

Lucy Cocks 1 year ago

omg my sister used to get that ALL the time!! she was like nope one has a penis and one has a vagina so kinda speaks for its self!!

Andrew Crane 1 year ago

My pet peeve is when childless pet owners compare owning animals to parenting children.

Paige Snyder 1 year ago

Stork cork haha. I hate when people say, “feeties, hannies, fingees…cuppie…” Stop adding a fucking ie or y to the end of each word. You sound stupid and everyone hates it.

Denise Martin 1 year ago

First off I’m lost at “crunchy” what is that? And push present? Is it safe to say that those who have a problem with this one are the ones that didn’t get one? Just saying…husband surprised me with gifts for my 2nd and 3rd children and still has no clue what a push present is.

The one term that does make me cringe however, are when women who have no problem conceiving and breeze right through their pregnancy calling their babies their little miracle. No. That’s called medical science.

Kristen Jackson 1 year ago

Along with these, I hate “mommy time”. As in “Oh, you get some mommy time while he goes to Mother’s Day Out!” No, I get to clean my house, eat a meal, and grocery shop in peace and quiet and maybe get to stop and take a breath with ME time. I get LOTS of “mommy time”. Then there are those who think I don’t do anything while he is at MDO.

Heather Mitchell 1 year ago

It drives me bonkers when people refer to their pets as their children. Kidless couples have no clue!!! It’s infuriating to take such a meaningful title
As mom, dad, or child and make it something so much less than it is.

Victoria Paredes 1 year ago

Wtf is crunchy????

Tiffany McDaniel 1 year ago

“Good baby” as in a baby that sleeps through the night. Every baby is a good baby.

Anna Roaf 1 year ago

I’m gonna start using weeks. My son is almost 79 weeks. 😉

Chrissy Reinhard Stahlin 1 year ago

This is the first time I heard the dd or dh or DS. I hate fur baby, baby momma or baby daddy. Also hate sperm donor, at some point you cared enough to have sex so respect that and realize that if not for classy sake for your kids. I don’t mind the rest so much.
Acronyms all around bother me. My husband is military and they have a acronym for everything so now I seriously dislike them used everywhere else in my life!

Jenneca Reeves-Yarbrough 1 year ago

The term “stay at home mother/father” like because we don’t have an actual paycheck rolling in we are doomed to the house forever :/ How about we just refer to a parent who’s not rollin in the dough to a Parent.

Amy Nearpass 1 year ago

It’s just a phase and we’re pregnant!!’ Ugh!!!

Lucy Cocks 1 year ago

sleep when the baby sleeps..so im never supposed to go to the loo,have a shower or clean my house then?

Marcy Johnson 1 year ago

I hate the word singleton. If you have a twin Mom friend you will know it.

Crystal Sirois 1 year ago

Dear husband, dear daughter, dear son. Ugh huge pet peeve of mine too!

Stacey Herb 1 year ago

Also… “4 kids?! Wow, that’s a lot! I hope you figured out what causes that!” Oh hahaha… No.

Courtney Jones-Moore 1 year ago

I agree with all 7 especially number 3

Kristin Meberg 1 year ago

When I ask “how old?” and get ” 37 months” as an answer. I feel like I should have a pen and paper to figure it out!!!! I don’t want to do math, just round it off to the nearest YEAR!

Crystal Sirois 1 year ago

Oh god I haaaate that lol after 1 there is no need for months

Anna Roaf 1 year ago

Play date. The worst.

Kristen Suddarth Mattson 1 year ago

True that! All of that!

Tina Ferraiolo 1 year ago

I hate push presents! You’re pushing out your damn presents lol

Natasha 1 year ago

None of these really bother me that much, except for the DD, DS, and DH. No. Just…… No. Like you said, why can’t you just call them your son or daughter or husband/spouse/partner/sperm donor??? Seriously. Also, one term that drives me up the wall that I don’t think was mentioned is “Babywearing”. Baby’s aren’t accessories. You don’t wear them. You carry them. For crying out loud!!!!!!

Jane Graham 1 year ago

Are you “still” trying for more? Be happy with your “only” . only asshats say those things…don’t be an asshat.

Thea 1 year ago

I didn’t get a push present…I got a slice and dice present because I had a c-section. My husband and I are funny like that. But you best believe if I’m getting pregnant, I’m getting some piece of jewelry out of it.

Melissa Senk Killebrew 1 year ago

# 4!!!!

Stacey Herb 1 year ago

I had never heard the term push present before this past weekend. I couldn’t believe what i was hearing. I have 4 wonderful kids; they are my “push presents.” Silly me, i kind of thought the reward for pushing was the baby…

Amy Lynn Barney 1 year ago

That’s great! Lol

Paige Jax 1 year ago

Me either!! WE are not pregnant!

Sammy Starr 1 year ago

When my daughter was younger, someone asked how old she was, I told them she’s 2. They asked me, “2 and how many months?” REALLY?!

Amie Wolff Logan 1 year ago

I hate ‘we’re pregnant’. No I am pregnant. My husband is not.

Addie Dunlap 1 year ago

Preggers or prego

Nicole Lucca 1 year ago

Dd, Ds, Dh always drives me crazy! Nobody actually refers to them as “dear”… Why is there am acronym? They’re my kids, plain & simple.

Meghan Cummings 1 year ago

Baby daddy!! Ugh I hate that

Paige Jax 1 year ago

Stork cork. Love it

Melissa Ouellette Kurth 1 year ago

Hey Laura M. Delarosa a blog like THIS??? LOL

Camila Medici 1 year ago

I have never been pregnant but I already hate the words “preggo”, “preggers” and the sentence “bun in the oven” – ugh.

Emily Urban 1 year ago

Am I seriously the only one who finds the term “liquid gold” disgusting? It’s breast milk. Not a precious metal.

Haley MacDonald 1 year ago

I could live the rest of my days without hearing the term “Baby Daddy” as well as the drama that the people who use this term generally create.

Lindsey 1 year ago

I’m aware that this is also medically accurate, but I HATE hearing “bloody show”.

Heather Nolen Kelly 1 year ago

Oh, he’s your ONLY one? Only? Only??? It took me 5 years of treatment and facing the very real possibility of never being a mommy to have him.

Leah 1 year ago

I’m with you on the babysitting thing. You don’t babysit your own kids!

Dorey Lindemann 1 year ago

Haha! Good one. So accurate.

Leah 1 year ago

I’m so glad someone else hates the word playdate! That drives me crazy!

Brianna Madsen 1 year ago

This isn’t specifically motherhood related but I hate the word ‘hubby’. He’s my husband. Not some stuffed animal a preschooler named.

Tanya Lauer 1 year ago

Stork cork!

Amber O’Callaghan Creech 1 year ago

If you are safe to drive, you are safe to nurse your baby. Pumping & dumping after a few drinks is no longer advised.

Preggers annoys me.

Ali Manchester 1 year ago

“Baby daddy” and “baby mama”

Jessica Ronele Thompson 1 year ago

Geneva Angel Ellegant whats wrong with going out and enjoying yourself with a drink or two while breastfeeding? My son is 3 months old and Ive been out once a month to have a few drinks and relax with some friends. I don’t breast feed him when I get home….thats what my stored milk is for….soooo again….why shouldn’t I drink while breastfeeding? Doesn’t every mom deserve to have a drink if they choose to do so breastfeeding or not?

Kelly Scala DeMeo 1 year ago

Yes!!! How bout “play date”!!! If you ask to have a play date, my kids can’t HANG OUT with you!! Lol

Aubri Armistead Girardeau 1 year ago

And my daughter calls French fries hoo haa’s. Things get awkward at drive thrus!

Sierra Rose Brown 1 year ago

Prego/preggers seriously annoying but even more annoying is “you look ready to pop!” Really, do you want to be drop kicked by a nine/ten months pregnant woman?!

Nicole Fariello 1 year ago

Ugh preggo and bestie are so annoying lol so is DH dd and ds

Amy Knight Francoeur 1 year ago

Unless you’re talking about the inner parts, it’s actually a vulva.

Tracy Arsenault 1 year ago

Haha love it. I too think fur baby is ridiculous.
I never knew what dd, dh and ds meant until now. I was always like wth? Does that mean? Lmao

Ally DAVIES 1 year ago

Whar does dh mean lol

Lisa Steel 1 year ago

DD means something entirely different to me…

Dana Ayers 1 year ago

OH YES! This x1000

Ally DAVIES 1 year ago

It gets easier!!!! No It doesn’t lol

Rhiannan Green Caraway 1 year ago

I HATE “dd, ds and dh” I do, however, love her use of the term “omgwr” lol

Amy Eacret Walters 1 year ago

Prego, preggers… You’re pregnant. That’s just as bad as a grown woman using the term bestie. Stop it.

Melissa 1 year ago

“Preggers” & “Prego” (yes, like the sauce)
They turned me intro a PREGNANT rage monster every time.

Jennifer Demarco 1 year ago

Omg I have 4 boys an 1 girl. I can’t even count how often I here this or they say oh god bless you in front of the you have your hands full. Oh like I didn’t plan my kids.

Laurie 1 year ago

I agree, something besides mucus plug would be much nicer. By the way, don’t EVER Google “mucus plug” and then click on the image button. You’ll be scarred for life.

Valerie Pajak 1 year ago


Rebecca Bell Sorensen 1 year ago

Constantly asked if your boy/girl twins are “identical.” Seriously!?! We need a separate post about the twins comments. Total strangers stopping you in Costco asking how your twins were conceived!!!

Jennifer Engel 1 year ago

Play date….. Please!

Vanessa Vicari Rothschmitt 1 year ago

Cross. When my baby cries my FIL says ‘why is he cross?’ Even before I had kids when people used that term…. Never liked it

Elicia Hays Ross 1 year ago

Lol. This is great!

Hazel Thompson 1 year ago

Baby bump and mucus plug are the only ones I’ve heard from this list x

Robin Lynn 1 year ago

Omg push present… Arrrrgh. Isnt your present your new born child?!?!?!?!? I don’t get that one

Krystal Ramos Barnes 1 year ago

I don’t know..I’m too tired to even think … Bye. One of the hobbits is fuzzy …

Jennifer Hermann Wareham 1 year ago

‘Cutting teeth’. Sounds so awful.

Louise Radau Smith Hensley 1 year ago


Melissa Overmire Fenton 1 year ago

Another brilliant one…”Are they all yours?” Oh damn. You got me. Kidnapped these suckers just this morning from the local Chuck E Cheese.

Sammy Starr 1 year ago

Lol it reminds me of a granola bar.

Leanne Arne 1 year ago

Stork cork sounds good to me lol

PatrickEmily Assmus 1 year ago

These are all hysterical!! :) Personally, I’m over “Babymoon” and “Gender Reveal Party.”

Begin Rant: If you are well off enough to take a pregnant vacation before the baby comes great …….. It doesn’t need a secondary name other than VACATION! The rest of us know you will never eat in a restaurant or see a movie again normally let alone take a true vacation and but for the love of God stop calling it a Babymoon when you decide to risk flying to Hawaii later in your pregnancy.

Pinterest has ruined babies. If I see one more poorly executed cardboard box bloated with balloons of pink or blue I am gonna barf! Popping blue or pink bubble pictures, painted bellies, and any other copied ideas off Pinterest aren’t cute anymore. They’re tacky. I know you feel Pinterest Pressure to execute said “Gender Reveal,” But believe me … When that kid pops out you won’t care the sex … You will just be thrilled that the delivery is over and your baby is healthy —- not how “cool” your “Gender Reveal Party” could have been if it wasn’t a Pinterest Fail.

Abigail Schroeder Johnston 1 year ago

Too funny and so accurate. :-)

Kera Marie Reidy 1 year ago

Well, my three cats and two dogs are my FUR BABIES so lol when you clean their poop, provide them medical care, feed them and love them with all your heart then they are your babies, even if they have fur. ☺️

Libby Taggart Unwin 1 year ago

You got mine: DD, DH, DS…. Huh?!

Windy Kitchen 1 year ago

Prego, always made me feel like I should be cooking spaghetti

Kellie Scarbrough 1 year ago

I think it’s usually done because of character limits.

Geneva Angel Ellegant 1 year ago

#3 is just ridiculous. I agree, “WHEN DID THIS BECOME A THING?”
I don’t mind #7 at all. I have friends who can’t have children so they have pets. And personally, if I could have an ewok I TOTALLY would. 😉 As for #2, you shouldn’t be drinking if you are breastfeeding so that shouldn’t be a thing either. Granted, back when some of our mom’s were breastfeeding us, they would drink a single glass of wine an hour before we were fed so we would sleep at night. It was actually a common practice back then and doctor’s recommend it.

Libby Taggart Unwin 1 year ago

Thank you!! I hate having to stop and do math when, in my mind, he’s 2!

Kristen Hudson 1 year ago

I am 31 no kids. Kids soon to avoid the advanced maternal age I already feel old enough dammit!

Sammy Starr 1 year ago

The baby daddy and baby mama thing are sooo lame. Prego, not as much because I’m guilty of using the term among my friends (sorry! lol)

Stacey Lee 1 year ago

LOL push present? I want one!

Lucy Willgress 1 year ago

I’d always wondered what the fudge people were on about with ‘DS, DD, DH’. Now I know!

Alison Sullivan Ogden 1 year ago


Kasey Parker Barrie 1 year ago

Hate fur baby!!!!!!!!

Kayla Muncie Luckie 1 year ago

Can we add SO to the list of acronyms? Say boyfriend or girlfriend!

Melissa Overmire Fenton 1 year ago

I’ve got 4 boys. I’m so over the hands full comment. Now I just snap right back, “Here Captain Obvious- YOU TAKE ONE”

Amanda Brady 1 year ago

BABY DADDY and BABY MAMA. Go crawl back into the ghetto.This term is usually used by trashy, uneducated human beings who shouldn’t be reproducing anyway.

April Jones 1 year ago

Lol @ stork cork

Kathy Gonzalez 1 year ago

Same here. Cringeworthy.

Carissa Edwards 1 year ago


Keli Sanders 1 year ago

I never spoke that way to babies. Mine or any other. I hate that shit too!

RIRedSoxGal 1 year ago

The phrase “we’re pregnant” absolutely drives me nuts! No, I, the wife am pregnant. My husband is definitely not. I love Mila Kunis for doing a whole bit about it on Jimmy Kimmel.

Sammy Starr 1 year ago

Lol, yes! 😉

Karen Austin 1 year ago

Pump and dump isn’t just about clearing the alcohol, it is making yourself comfortable when missing a feed – you can’t use the milk cos of booze being in it so dump it

Jennifer Ware 1 year ago

No one ever told me that with my daughter…now I have 3 yr old twin boys and hear
It every.single.time I’m out in public. Like I don’t understand that they’re a bit more work. Thanks for the news bulletin. People just can’t NOT say anything.

Leahanna Mummert 1 year ago

I hate being called crunchy. I only ever use the term for cookies aka “we are out of the crunchy chips ahoy cookies. The baby needs more.”

Emily Katherine 1 year ago

Or a coffee place. :)

Patrice Andrews 1 year ago

baby bump. yuck. can’t stand that term!

Sammy Starr 1 year ago

Haha, I JUST made a comment like this before seeing yours!!

Sandra Hurdis Finigan 1 year ago

Babymoon. It’s a vacation for cripes sake. It’s not a reward because you and hubby finally got the timing right.

Sammy Starr 1 year ago

I usually don’t care for all the abbreviations moms have online. I understand it’s easier than typing it all out sometimes online, or through your phone if you don’t have access to a computer keyboard, but it just confuses the hell out of me. I don’t remember what they mean for shit most of the time… the last time I checked “DD” was a breast size!

Leesh Quinn 1 year ago


Joanne Kennedy 1 year ago

Advanced Maternal Age since it is abbreviated to AMA which is also Against Medical Advice that made me feel pretty crappy

Jennifer Ware 1 year ago

I know, it weirds me out. Makes me think of unshaven pits and sandals with socks, haha! In the voice of Seinfeld “Not that there’s anything wrong with that”

Emily Katherine 1 year ago


Kathy Gonzalez 1 year ago

Binky. That always drove me nuts.

Emily Katherine 1 year ago

#4. So true!

Nanci Elmasri 1 year ago

Pump and dump! seriously you shouldn’t be drinking even if it does leave your body. The other is Double the trouble for my twins. No they are not maybe your one baby is but my two are good

Jane Q 1 year ago

The term ‘pump and dump’ also means when a guy has sex with you and then leaves right after and never calls you again so yeah, maybe stop using it when talking about breast feeding.

Other terms or pharses that piss me off

1) when dads say they are babysitting – no, no, no. When it’s your own kid that’s not called babysitting – that’s called being a parent.

2) ‘We’re pregnant’ – yes honey ‘we’ are expecting a baby, ‘we’ are excited about having our first child – but there is only one of us in this equation with the right equipment to be pregnant and it’s not you STFU with the ‘we’re pregnant’ crap.

Trini Kwan 1 year ago

“Fur baby” PUKE!

Kristin Weatherford 1 year ago

So glad I’m not the only one thoroughly annoyed by DH, DD and DS

Renee Catlin Madison 1 year ago

“Hubby” and #3…the idea that your “hubby” needs to buy you jewelry for giving birth is ridiculous.

Susan Goodman 1 year ago

Or binky or nookie instead of pacifier. Like nails on a chalkboard.

Katie Louise Pickering 1 year ago

I always see this but have no idea what it stands for it just confuses me

Sandra 1 year ago

The most recent one I can’t stand is “babymoon”. The first time I heard it I wondered WTF. Now I know it’s the vacation to somewhere tropical that women who are newly pregnant expect their husbands to take them on before baby is born. WTF is right. All my extra money during pregnancy went to buying stuff for the baby, not a $2000 vacation so I could wear a bikini one last time.

Melissa Overmire Fenton 1 year ago

“You’ve got your hands full”. No. Shit. Sherlock.

Kelly Jilson 1 year ago

I don’t think you understood my comment … you’re agreeing with me , yet disagreeing . Pumping & dumping gives women the illusion that they can just get the “alcohol contaminated” breast milk out & start fresh .. Although this may help it’s not a solution , the solution is as you said time . Once the alcohol is out of the body it will be out of the breast milk .

Jenn Murray 1 year ago


Diana Robles Jimenez 1 year ago

DD, DS and DH OMG that’s soooo annoying I see it in mommy groups all the time. It’s more ridiculous because we are all over the age of 30 face it we ain’t cool no more lol come on push present really? Lol..this article was great.

Katie Louise Pickering 1 year ago

When people call there baby boys “little man ” I don’t know why but it really irritates me

KRS 1 year ago

LMAO I read DD that way for a long time.

Lauren 1 year ago

I’m with you on mucus plug. Mucus anything just sounds gross.
And I’d never even heard of a push present. Does that mean if the doctor cuts a hole in your abdomen to pull the baby out the new-fashioned way, you miss out on being lavished with gifts?? 😉

Kathy Gonzalez 1 year ago

‘baba.’ It’s a fucking bottle.

Darcie Hutzell 1 year ago

I hate the phrase ” know better do better” It’s so smug and self righteous

Kelly Morrison 1 year ago

I’m with the “advanced maternal age” group. Ugh. It even said that on my office visit summary papers when I went for appts. Thanks so much! Because I don’t feel old enough when I have friends with grandkids already.

KRS 1 year ago

I have one of those pictures but I wasn’t faking and my husband wasn’t either. I actually enjoyed my labor. Despite what everyone insisted, it is possible to have a great labor/birth. I also have some pictures of me deeply concentrating and I love those, too. People want to look back fondly at big life events-if that picture makes them happy then that’s good enough for me!

Brittany Seibert 1 year ago

Pump and dump is not accurate. If the alcohol is still in your bloodstream, it’s in your breast milk. Just fyi (also, I hate “fyi” lol). 😉

Mridula Nair 1 year ago

I so totally get irritated by no. 4 too. Wrt effacement it is the thinning but it is also the degree to which the cervix opens up due to
The thinning so it’s needed when
Actually examining a lady who
Is close to
Go into labor.

Mother Mayhem 1 year ago

DD=Dunkin’ Donuts in my happy place too…..but DH=Dickhead (dear husband, same thing).

Wendy Hurley 1 year ago

I thought DH was “designated husband” for the longest time. Refuse to use those ridiculous abbreviations. Takes more effort to double tap the caps button than to just type the real words.

April Judd 1 year ago

Fur babies. I can’t tell you how much that term irritates me.

Susan Bassler 1 year ago

Hubby, prego, preggers

Toni Hollifield 1 year ago

Advanced Maternal Age … ugh! I was 34-35 while I was pregnant. Not exactly ready to kick the bucket!

Danica Ward 1 year ago

I love stork cork. best term ever!

Diana Graff Hodges 1 year ago

Playdate. Annoys me to even say it!

Brittney Theus Velasco 1 year ago

Doesn’t bother me, it’s not that serious.

Darcie 1 year ago

If I hear “know better, do better” one more time I will punch someone.

Jennifer Manter Lancaster 1 year ago

Not really. Alcohol leaves breast milk the same way it leaves the body (over time), so if you pump and dump at what was supposed to be the first feeding, depending on how much you drank and the timing of the next feeding the amount of alcohol in breast milk at the second feeding could be negligible. The alcohol doesn’t just sit in your breast milk waiting to be expressed.

Diana Graff Hodges 1 year ago


Jo O’Hare 1 year ago

Brilliant haha

Danielle Timmons Koprowski 1 year ago

Geriatric pregnancy!

Pam Vaughan 1 year ago

I definitely agree with “fur babies”! They are part of the family and I love mine but once you have children you realize the difference!

Angie Dean 1 year ago

Not fond of the word ‘hubby.’ Makes me think of a chunky bellied guy with no hair sitting in a recliner wearing tube socks. On another note, I never liked the word ‘nipple.’ Just sounds dumb. .

Kristina Layton Cates 1 year ago

Preggo, hubby, crunchy and whatever the fuck ‘dh’ means. Hubby is a pet peeve of mine. Makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

Jeanie Behrens 1 year ago

thanks for #4 now i know what that means!

Jaime Paragios 1 year ago

I cannot stand “prego” or push presents… you knew the baby had to come out somehow!

Angie Durbin 1 year ago

DD, DS AND DH… wtf!!! Hahaha haha

Sara Smith 1 year ago

#4 FOR SURE!!!

Kimberly R. Davis 1 year ago

I hate euphemisms for the word vagina. Not vagine, crotchal area, down there, lady parts….it’s a vagina. That’s all. I hate hoo haa the most.

Kelly Jilson 1 year ago

Pumping & dumping is so misleading .. Pump all you want , if there’s still alcohol in your system it’ll still be in your milk , no matter how much you dump

Tash 1 year ago

I agree “push present” what the?!?!?! Also it’s not called “witching hour” now I believe it’s called “purple crying”. Also babies these days don’t have “growth spurts” they have “mental leaps” – must be a generation of young genius’s coming our way……

Catherine Taylor 1 year ago

Mucus plug…just sounds wrong…

Lucy Cocks 1 year ago

I hate ‘exspecting’ a baby. Like it could be a baby but may be sorting else?!

Siobhan Roma 1 year ago

For the longest time I thought DH meant dickhead aka husband!

Wendy Sue 1 year ago

Push present = ridiculously stupid! Ha!

Leslie Watson 1 year ago

Uh… “Baby Daddy”

Jessica Sato 1 year ago


Kathleen Humphrey 1 year ago

Can you add preggo to the list?

April Paulsen 1 year ago

Prego! Its in there! Lol. My husband used to say that. By the end of the pregnancy it was kinda annoying. I also agree with baby daddy and mama. HATE it.

Sierra Rose Brown 1 year ago

The term PREGO drives me nuts! I’m not a jar of spaghetti sauce, I’m carrying a miracle. Got it. Ok thanks. Haha

Kendra E. King 1 year ago

Advanced Maternal Age. Seriously?! I’m 39…. still in my prime…. not 95!

Erin McCarthy 1 year ago

I loathe the terms “bump” and “preggers/prego.” Groan.

Ciara Agnew 1 year ago

But worse than DD/DS is bubba. It’s more letters than baby so it’s not like it’s handier. That word gives me the creeps.

Rebecca Tarlazzi 1 year ago


Kami Mayer 1 year ago

As far as push presents go–I thought the gift was the baby itself! Way to make the beauty & wonder (and yuck invests) of childbirth into another Hallmark holiday! Ugh!

Natalie Trujillo 1 year ago

Thank you! I cannot stand the DH, DD and DS abbreviations. Really? You can’t manage to spell out husband, daughter and/or son? C’mon people.

Shellie Smith 1 year ago

Advanced maternal age. ..next time I hear it I will throat punch someone

Jennifer Bell 1 year ago

I never knew what DH, DD and DS stood for until now!

Beth Chenevert 1 year ago

“My baby is 24 months” … Um, isn’t that 2 yrs old ? JUST SAY HE’S 2 !!!!

April Paulsen 1 year ago

I love my fur baby. He was our first baby. :). Its not on here and probably not a motherhood term. But I can not stand “We are pregnant”.

Brittany Brian Wemet 1 year ago

I hate prego… I was always saying I am pregnant not a flipping sauce! I also hate the term when people say “baby daddy” “baby mama” *skin crawl*

Lesley Grady 1 year ago

“Crunchy.” I HATE IT! Especially because women only use the word to describe themselves.

LynnZMbH 1 year ago

Where I come from DD means Dunkin Donuts.

Pattie 1 year ago

WHY? WTF? Push present? I hate that idea so very much. It goes hand in hand with the staged portraits in the labor room of the father (presumably father) kissing the forehead of the laboring woman as she fakes a smile/grimace. Gah! you entitled people need to stop with all the airbrushing of your lives.

Anyway, Jess, I am with you on all of these.

Renee Ehrman 1 year ago

“Fur baby”… *cringe* -_-

Kim 1 year ago

I absolutely loathe the terms “play date” and “tummy time.” I cringe each time I hear them.

Kimberley Smith 1 year ago

My baby being “viable”. He was IVF so i could understand it at the beginning but it seems offensive when you get to 20w and they’re still saying it.

Amanda 1 year ago

This is HILARIOUS! But I will fight you on push present because I blew out my vagina twice and while a new baby is the most amazing present ever, my shiny jewelry helped eased the pain of my blown out vagina. You are a hoot , lady!

HolyMoly 1 year ago

Bwaahhahahaha Stork Cork!
That made my day!

Lizzy 1 year ago

When I first started reading parenting forums I was so confused by the whole DH, DD, DS thing. I kept thinking…”designated driver?” When I found out what they meant, it drove me insane! I would roll my eyes every time I read a comments section. But it really helps when you have character limitations like in the confessional.
I still like to say “baby bump” though, lol!


Enjoying this? Then like us on Facebook