25 Things My Children Never Say



1. Mommy is on the phone right now, so let’s entertain ourselves quietly.

2. I know where my soccer cleats are!

3. I’m going to play with my toys now. I really do have so many of them.

4. You’re making what for dinner? YUM!

5. That puddle would make an awfully big mess. I’m not going to stomp in it.

6. We’re going to be in the car for five hours? Let me pee first.

7. I’m too full for dessert.

8. I have a lot of homework tonight, I really should get started.

9. You look really busy; I’ll go ask Dad instead.

10. We all decided that we want to watch the same thing on TV.

11. Thank you for that yummy lunch! I didn’t trade any of it at the cafeteria.

12. You’re so much more fun than Dad.

13. Let’s get those thank you notes over with!

14. I’ve had enough electronics for the day.

15. I have a class project due two weeks from now.

16. I’m ready for bed.

17. I don’t care what my friends are allowed to have or do.

18. What did you ask me to do before? I want to made sure I go and do it.

19. I’m really enjoying this long car ride.

20. I need to wash my hands.

21. I’ll take the smallest piece, please.

22. You’re in the bathroom? OK, I’ll wait patiently to ask my unimportant question.

23. You’re wearing that? You look great!

24. There’s so much to do in this house; What lucky kids we are.

25. We’re going to be late, let’s go!


    • 3

      courtney martin says

      My three sons tell me at least 5 times a day each how beautiful they think I am. Well, the 7 and 8yr olds do…the 2yr old doesn’t do it more than once. Your kids really don’t tell you how beautiful you are every single day? :(

      • 4

        Mom Off Meth says

        My youngest one still does. But my 14 year old girl really makes me have to dig deep into my confidence bag to undo some of the stuff she says. Ouch.

        • 5

          Heather says

          Fourteen year old girls should be locked away until they’re 30. I sure deserved that. See also: 19-year-old “boys”.

      • 10

        Elizabeth says

        I thought i was the only one who NEVER gets a minute in the bathroom, and if by some miracle i get the door closed all i hear is mommy mommy mommy i try staying really still sometimes it works on my 2yr old by the 15 yr says i know your in there, and she just keep right on talking, which of course invites the little one to say hey mommy whatcha doing? and the conference is on! LOL

      • 11

        Atxshelby says

        My almost four year old comes into the bathroom and says “Push hard mommy! Push harrrrrd!”

        I don’t need a cheerleader. I need some privacy. hahahaha

        It’s cute though.

  1. 12

    Christina Baglivi Tinglof says

    Love it! And how about, “Look! Dirty plates in the sink. I’ll just rinse them and put them in the dishwasher.”

    • 16

      BonnyBard says

      True story: I have a friend whose kid goes into toy stores and when she says they’re not buying anything he answers with: “that’s ok mom, I’m just looking”. I’d say he counts as the exception confirming the rule though!

      • 17

        Renee says

        You described my son. And he’s like that about every thing – laid back. He never threw temper tantrums, even when he was a toddler. Now, he will try to negotiate these days. He wants to debate the terms and conditions (of things like bedtime) like a lawyer. That’s a new development, but much preferred over whining and pouting.

        Btw, I don’t know how he got so laid back, he just came that way. He has two very high-strung, passionate parents. But somehow we wound up with little Buddha. I worry that our true tests in parenting lie ahead in the teenage years. It’s just been too easy up ’til now. The other shoe is sure to drop.

        • 18

          Elizabeth says

          Renee my oldest is 15 and she is like your little Buddha she used to say the same thing and still to this day when i take her shopping shes all like its too expensive or i can save up for it myself its awesome, but my little one is more like me lol and she is only 2 she already reminds me of my teenage years (cringe) lol

      • 19

        amanda says

        My son does this. He loves to just look around. He is six and he tells us to “keep it under advisement.”

  2. 20

    Becky says

    This list is going to keep growing:
    Here’s one: The reason you don’t see my jock strap/cup on the kitchen table (again) is because I put it away.

  3. 21

    Stephanie says

    Ha. Sounds lovely. Just this week, I got, “Mommy’s on the phone so let’s destroy our one-day-old couch with this stray sidewalk chalk I found,” which was followed up with, “Mommy’s on the phone again, so let’s pour our (supposed to be non-leaky) sippy cups of milk all over the one-day-old couch.” Longest Time Out of his life so far!

  4. 22

    Jenn says

    Love it! Although my slightly neurotic 6 year old actually does say #25 – a lot!

    I would add, “Wow, that outfit you picked out for me is perfect!”

  5. 26

    The Sadder But Wiser Girl says

    “Mommy, you look tired. I really think you need a nap. Now that I think about it, so do I. Let’s all take a really long nap.” HA HA HA HA! Never, ever will happen!

  6. 29

    Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom says

    Hee hee. Classics! I’d love to hear:

    “I’ll feed the cat AND scoop his litter box. Remember I told you if you let me have a cat that I would always take care of him.”

  7. 30

    Arnebya says

    Boy, this is gonna grow, huh?

    “Thank you”
    “Oh, you haven’t eaten yet? I won’t have thirds then.”
    “I’m going to bathe”

    • 31

      Mara says

      Oh that’s a good one, not asking for thirds and fourths. My step son will ask for another serving before his first plate is even empty. Other people need to eat in this house too!

  8. 32

    Leanne Shirtliffe (Ironic Mom) says

    Ha. Hilarious. Mine never say, “Why don’t you just spend some more time on your computer?”

    Unless it’s sarcastic.

  9. 33

    kimi says

    OH MY GOSH!!! The bathroom!!! Yes!!! Why does everyone feel the need to follow me in there? Even the 2 puppies try to squeeze through before I shut the door!!! LOL :) And if I do manage to get in alone I’m expected to carry on a full conversation while in there! Loved the list!

    • 35

      Jennifer says


      “It was me that (didn’t flush the toilet) (spilled juice and didn’t clean it up) (left the crayons all over the living room floor) (insert any other thing normally answered not me to).”

  10. 37

    Melissa says

    My 5 year old said #5 this very morning! Did I mention I had a bit of trouble this morning because I walked outside and found my rear window shattered! But she is worried about being late to school! My children are neurotic about being late!

  11. 38

    Sarah says

    See, my boy (5) actually does say/yell #25… usually after I’ve yelled it 14 times to HIM, and right around when I have to run back into the house to get whatever forgotten item he’s just told me about.

    Also: “I love you more!”
    and: “I’m going to let mom sleep in, since it’s Saturday.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>