25 Things My Children Never Say



1. Mommy is on the phone right now, so let’s entertain ourselves quietly.

2. I know where my soccer cleats are!

3. I’m going to play with my toys now. I really do have so many of them.

4. You’re making what for dinner? YUM!

5. That puddle would make an awfully big mess. I’m not going to stomp in it.

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6. We’re going to be in the car for five hours? Let me pee first.

7. I’m too full for dessert.

8. I have a lot of homework tonight, I really should get started.

9. You look really busy; I’ll go ask Dad instead.

10. We all decided that we want to watch the same thing on TV.

11. Thank you for that yummy lunch! I didn’t trade any of it at the cafeteria.

12. You’re so much more fun than Dad.

13. Let’s get those thank you notes over with!

14. I’ve had enough electronics for the day.

15. I have a class project due two weeks from now.

16. I’m ready for bed.

17. I don’t care what my friends are allowed to have or do.

18. What did you ask me to do before? I want to made sure I go and do it.

19. I’m really enjoying this long car ride.

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20. I need to wash my hands.

21. I’ll take the smallest piece, please.

22. You’re in the bathroom? OK, I’ll wait patiently to ask my unimportant question.

23. You’re wearing that? You look great!

24. There’s so much to do in this house; What lucky kids we are.

25. We’re going to be late, let’s go!


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      • Elizabeth says

        I thought i was the only one who NEVER gets a minute in the bathroom, and if by some miracle i get the door closed all i hear is mommy mommy mommy i try staying really still sometimes it works on my 2yr old by the 15 yr says i know your in there, and she just keep right on talking, which of course invites the little one to say hey mommy whatcha doing? and the conference is on! LOL

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      • Atxshelby says

        My almost four year old comes into the bathroom and says “Push hard mommy! Push harrrrrd!”

        I don’t need a cheerleader. I need some privacy. hahahaha

        It’s cute though.

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    • BonnyBard says

      True story: I have a friend whose kid goes into toy stores and when she says they’re not buying anything he answers with: “that’s ok mom, I’m just looking”. I’d say he counts as the exception confirming the rule though!

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      • Renee says

        You described my son. And he’s like that about every thing – laid back. He never threw temper tantrums, even when he was a toddler. Now, he will try to negotiate these days. He wants to debate the terms and conditions (of things like bedtime) like a lawyer. That’s a new development, but much preferred over whining and pouting.

        Btw, I don’t know how he got so laid back, he just came that way. He has two very high-strung, passionate parents. But somehow we wound up with little Buddha. I worry that our true tests in parenting lie ahead in the teenage years. It’s just been too easy up ’til now. The other shoe is sure to drop.

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        • Elizabeth says

          Renee my oldest is 15 and she is like your little Buddha she used to say the same thing and still to this day when i take her shopping shes all like its too expensive or i can save up for it myself its awesome, but my little one is more like me lol and she is only 2 she already reminds me of my teenage years (cringe) lol

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  1. Stephanie says

    Ha. Sounds lovely. Just this week, I got, “Mommy’s on the phone so let’s destroy our one-day-old couch with this stray sidewalk chalk I found,” which was followed up with, “Mommy’s on the phone again, so let’s pour our (supposed to be non-leaky) sippy cups of milk all over the one-day-old couch.” Longest Time Out of his life so far!

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