Many moms are nervous about the prospect of adding a third minion to their already chaotic lives. The whole having-more-children-than-hands factor is enough to freak out the most veteran mothers. However, since learning that I am pregnant with my third kid, I have figured out that third-timers have it made—at least pregnancy-wise. Here are 10 reasons the third pregnancy is the shit:
1. No worries about keeping the pregnancy a secret.
Having gone through two pregnancies means those abdominal muscles are looser than a post-breakup Kardashian. Other people may guess you are pregnant before you find out yourself because you’ll start showing before you have time to say, “I thought you were going to pull out!”
2. The first trimester tiredness does not faze you.
I’ve been exhausted for basically the entirety of Obama’s second term. With two children, someone is always having nightmares or waking up at the crack of dawn. The tiredness is a part of me now. Being pregnant just means my husband occasionally remembers to offer me a nap.
3. Friends and family leave you alone.
The first time or two you announce you are expecting, your loved ones literally cannot get enough of your pregnancy. Especially in the third trimester, they pester you at least daily with questions about when you think labor will start (because you obviously need to be reminded to check for symptoms). You have to participate in showers or “sprinkles” where you must coo over snarky onesies and frightening-looking breast pump equipment. By the third time, nobody gives a damn. You are a breeding machine, and they’re over it, which is good because your toy-strewn house cannot fit one additional item besides the new baby.
4. You don’t sweat the baby weight.
Whether or not you lost it with your first or second baby, someone was still excited to sleep with you again. You are a goddess.
5. Choosing a family car is easy.
You do not have to spend time agonizing over which SUV to purchase, like you did when your first or second was on the way. This time, it’s obvious. You need a freaking bus.
6. Your birth plan becomes uncomplicated.
Subsequent babies tend to arrive after much shorter labors, so “Try not to have baby in the back of an Uber” pretty much covers it.
7. Packing your hospital bag is easy.
Pajamas you don’t mind getting bloody and a few Twix bars for a post-delivery snack? Done and done. No need to put together an empowering playlist or pack those aromatherapy candles. Pushing will probably be over before one play of “Eye of the Tiger.”
8. On that note, you can basically deliver your own child.
Pitocin, epi, crowning, ring of fire—you know what to expect and where the complications might arise. Even if your previous births were C-sections, you know that god-awful incision, and you’re pretty sure you could direct the scalpel (“a little to the left”) from behind the drape.
9. The nine months seem to fly by.
Some of this is the sheer busyness of having two children to care for already, but also your to-do list includes more complicated tasks this time. With my first, it was, “Find a cute chevron-patterned nursery rug.” With my third, it’s, “Get my 3-year-old to stop shitting in the corner.”
10. You know you will love this baby just the same.
One of the most common concerns during a second pregnancy is wondering whether you can possibly love this new baby as much as your older child. But after your second is born, you understand that all-encompassing, fierce love you felt for your first was not a fluke. You felt it just the same with baby number two, and it will happen again with the new babe. To get the chance to experience that love with three different, precious children will make you feel like the luckiest woman alive.