parenting truths

10 Tina Fey Quotes On Motherhood That'll Make You Snort

Happy 52nd Birthday to this mama of two! Parenthood may not always be funny, but it’s definitely a riot in Fey’s world.

Kevin Mazur/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Kids are definitely the boss of you. Anyone who will barge into the room while you are on the commode is the boss of you. And when you explain to them that you’re on the commode and that they should leave, but they don’t? That’s a high-level boss.

Bobby Bank/WireImage/Getty Images

You’re just like a human napkin for kids, like, they just wipe their face on you and stuff.

James Devaney/WireImage/Getty Images

[Alice] has a pretend hair-and-nail shop, and I was doing her hair and makeup. I said, ‘Hello ma’am. What’s your name? What do you do?’ And she said, ‘I get paid to dance at parties.’ And I said, ‘Oh, no. That’s a terrible, terrible answer.

Christopher Polk/WireImage/Getty Images

My daughter was playing the other day and almost knocked an Emmy… on her head. I was like, ‘Oh, that would have been terrible.’ Can you imagine having to fill out an accident report at the hospital? ‘An Emmy fell on my kid’s head.’

ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images

I had to get back to work. NBC has me under contract. The baby and I only have a verbal agreement.

KMazur/WireImage/Getty Images

There are times where I feel she should be on the naughty list, but then if that happens, then there will sort of be hell to pay for Mommy. I don’t want to be the one there on Christmas morning, like, ‘Guess what happened? Coal. You got nothing.’

Patrick McMullan/Getty Images

Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.

Djamilla Rosa Cochran/WireImage/Getty Images

All over Manhattan, large families have become a status symbol. Four beautiful children named after kings and pieces of fruit are a way of saying, ‘I can afford a four-bedroom apartment and a hundred and fifty thousand dollars in elementary school tuition fees each year. How you livin’?’

Jason Mendez/Getty Images

I think this is ingenious marketing, but that princess thing sets off an alarm bell for me. [I’m afraid] all that might creep back into our culture. That a girl would aspire to be the Little Mermaid, a beautiful redhead with no legs who waits for her prince! Who literally gives up her voice! What are we doing? What is going on?

Chelsea Lauren/WireImage/Getty Images

Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.

Bruce Glikas/FilmMagic/Getty Images

Thanks for reading,
head home for more!