Modern day mom life is great, but I sometimes yearn for the simplicity moms of the 1950s enjoyed (at least the ones on TV), when the biggest to-dos of the day were curling your hair, feeding your kids some Cheese Whiz, and baking a pie for Martha’s Tupperware party.
I’m sure the reality of living that life would eventually drive me to stuff my curlers down the toilet, but it’s fun to fantasize.
In theory, those gossiping, nylon wearing, lipstick smearing, afternoon boozing mamas were livin’ the life, and here’s why:
1. Their 3-year-old could run errands. The streets were safer back in the ’50s. Kiddos could run to the store for eggs, pick up the dry cleaning, and buy some stamps on their way home, with nary a worry of foul play. Well, maybe it was just the TV kids who ran errands, but at least real kids could have their play without the risk of foul.
2. Too much TV was not just acceptable, it was the norm. In-laws didn’t give 1950s moms the stink eye when the kids were glued to the boob tube on a Saturday afternoon – they would grab a martini and join the party.
3. Jell-O was considered a food group. That gelatinous mound of Red Food Dye number 4 in the fridge was considered a fruit, and the faux whipped cream on top was considered a solid serving of calcium.
4. They could have a cocktail at 3 p.m. And they would be in a cute dress with their pinky out, so they wouldn’t feel guilty – they would feel chic, and buzzed.
5. If desired, they could be full-on stay-at-homers, not work-from-homers. Life was cheaper in the ’50s, and they didn’t pay more for organic because synthetic pesticides were all the rage.
6. Curves were so in. The processed-food hips of the ’50s weren’t viewed as unfortunate, but sexy. Marilyn, you rock.
7. Their hairstyles were fun, and they likely got a little buzz from all that hairspray. Tight curls, bobs, and fake bangs are fun, so fun.
8. There weren’t 2,365 parenting styles to choose from, and be judged by. Mother knows best. Don’t talk back. Just wait till I tell your father. Eat your Jell-O.
9. It was socially acceptable to cover their furniture in plastic.
10. Children deemed two sticks, a rock, and trees suitable toys. No need for a $500 mini monster truck, a playhouse for dolls that you have to take a mortgage out on, and a gun that shoots surprisingly painful foam darts.
11. Poodle skirts and petticoats. Fun, so fun. And they helped cover the bloat from the booze and Jell-O.
12. People brought over casseroles and baked goods when something bad happened. They didn’t have to make their own comfort food when their cat ran away – it was delivered in cheesy, sugary, carby droves.
13. Violent video games did not exist. Kids played board games, they didn’t hijack vehicles or blow up cities.
14. The music was awesome. Anyone can and will dance to 1950s music. Try to listen to 1950s music and not bop around. You can’t. Oh, and the tunes didn’t include references to women as female dogs or garden tools.
15. They have all those funny memes fashioned after their coolness. Jealous.
In reality, the sexist undertones, constrictive shoes, and alluring secretaries of the 1950s probably made for some miserable mom days – but a girl can dream.
Related post: 10 Ways Our Parents Had It Way Easier Than We Do