Parents, particularly those raising teens and tweens, are probably the guiltiest of the bunch. Our kids just offer up so much material with which to work, and so many opportunities to cover up our tired, impatient, helicopter-ish ways with tiny untruths in hopes of making our lives just a tad more livable.
Here are some of my favorites:
I don’t have any more batteries for your Nintendo 3DS.
Yes, of course I’m watching every single play of your soccer game.
I think you have a reasonable opinion, and I respect it.
I have no idea where all of your Halloween candy went.
Your homemade Mother’s Day gift is SO much better than a spa gift card.
I think you’re beautiful no matter how you dress.
I’ve never done anything illegal.
Dad and I aren’t fighting. We’re just having a disagreement.
If you work hard enough, you can accomplish anything you dream of doing.
Of course you’re popular. The other girls are just mean because they’re jealous.
You are my favorite person in the world.
Sorry I didn’t pick up your call. I was in an important meeting.
I didn’t finish the laundry because the machine needs servicing.
That boy is just teasing you because he has a crush on you.
It sounded like the house was shaking because Dad and I were watching a very loud movie in our room.
I’m not angry with you, just really disappointed.
No, I never smoked cigarettes. Not even in college.
I would let you go to the party, but your father said ‘no.’
You can have the last slice of pizza. I didn’t want it anyway.
We waited until we were married to have sex.
If you’re happy with pink hair then so am I.
I got straight As in high school.
I love all of my children equally.
I’ll be off the phone in five minutes.
It’s not OK to lie under any circumstance.
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