5 Vagina Mysteries That Are Totally Normal  | Madge the Vag | Scary Mommy

5 Vagina Mysteries That Are Totally Normal 

August 8, 2017 Updated February 25, 2020

Yes, most vaginal discharge is normal. Now, what about squirting? Because it’s hard to know what’s normal and what’s not.

Listen up people with vaginas, your mom may not have talked to you about your vagina or discharge and all of the other weird things your vagina does, but it’s time to start talking about it. Because if we don’t talk about it, who will?

In Charge of Your Discharge

I’m a kid of the eighties, so my mom referred to my vagina as my “garden.” You can imagine discharge never came up in conversation unless she was talking about my grandpa and the military. John Mayer had it right – my body was a wonderland. Although, I’m assuming he wasn’t talking about discharge. I had no idea what was going on with my body, especially my vagina. The first time I saw discharge, I assumed I’d have to pack up all my stuff and move to an island where no one could find me. I was a little dramatic at the time.

Discharge is normal. You will have discharge at certain times of the month. Guess what? It’s a sign you’re ovulating. It’s common to have discharge just before your period and just after it. More signs! Discharge knows how to communicate (unlike my mom when I was going through puberty. Love you, mom).

Discharge can also be a sign that something is wrong. If it’s accompanied by a foul odor or persistent itch, you may have an infection. Do not take these bad symptoms into your own hands. If your discharge is itchy and doesn’t smell right, head to your gynecologist. It’s time for a talk. It could be something as simple as a yeast infection or BV. That’s way more uncomfortable than telling someone about it.

In Love With Your Labia

Yes, your labia majora and labia minora can be different shapes and sizes and that’s totally okay. When it comes to your labia, there is no “one look fits all.” And speaking of which, don’t just talk about it. Take a look at it! I have a personal mirror. What a fascinating view!

Love the Music You Make (And the Mess)

Queefing is the sound air makes when it escapes the folds inside your vagina. Guess what? It’s normal. Queef like the queen you are! Isn’t that music to your ears? If you’re a squirter, lucky you. Female ejaculation is a thing. Why should men have all the fun? Countless women are concerned about making a mess during sex. Probably because we’re the ones who will have to clean the sheets! But squirting is normal and fantastic.  It’s not urine, but if you do pee a little during sex, don’t worry about it. That’s normal too.

Breathe It In

And one last thing- your smell. ‘Vaginal Scent of a Woman’ sounds like a movie I’d like to see! But what should your vagina smell like? Great news! Your vagina is supposed to smell like a vagina. As long as it’s not offensive to you, it’s fine. If it smells fishy or offensive, you most likely have an infection and your vagina is trying to tell you to go to the gyno. So listen to her and go!

Mysterious But Normal

Yes, your vagina is full of mystery, but it doesn’t have to be as mysterious as who will win the current Bachelor. Talk about what’s going on down there. You’ll find that you are not alone. When something seems off, talk to your gynecologist. So many women feel uncomfortable talking to the one person who is there to answer your questions. If you think they haven’t been asked every question under the sun, then guess again. In fact, make it your mission to try to ask your gynecologist one they haven’t heard.

In the meantime, love your vag and its crooked labia!