I really struggled with my “mom” identity when I first became a mother. I knew so many awesome moms with unique talents. I wanted to do all of those things, too. But I couldn’t do everything. I had to find what kind of mom I was and embrace it. I had to set some priorities, and let some other things go. Here are the kinds of moms I’m not:
THAT Mom Who Hosts the Best Playdates
You know, there’s Play-Doh or paint or a really cool science experiment awaiting your child every time. All the decorations, food and activities fit into an awesome theme, and the kids think her house is better than a carnival. I’m not that mom. My playdates are simple. Sorry, but painting with large groups of children in my house raises my blood pressure.
THAT Mom Who Has It All Together
She has 5-year old twins, a 2-year-old and a dog at the park. Did I mention that she’s also pregnant? She has it all together. Her kids are polite and well-behaved. I’m not that mom. My kids are currently fighting over a sand shovel.
THAT Mom Who Should Be a Gourmet Chef
Her food looks like it came right off of a cooking show. It is delicious! My kids even eat it, even though they’d never touch those foods if I served them. My husband secretly wishes I could cook like that. But, I’m not that mom. My meals are simple, and we have a lot of the same dishes on a weekly basis.
THAT Mom Who Coordinates Everything
She’s on the PTA. She runs a book club. She plans neighborhood events. I’m not that mom. I could never be that mom. I’m not that social, and I don’t have the time nor the patience to juggle all of those things.
THAT Mom Who Is Super Crafty
She knits. She makes clothes. Her kids are dressed in homemade, matching outfits. She has an Etsy shop on the side. I’m not that mom. I can barely sew, and I don’t really enjoy repetitive projects. I’ll just shop from her Etsy store.
THAT Mom Whose House Is Pristine ALL of the Time
It looks like a page out of a magazine. Even her playroom is well organized, labeled and all picked up. She apologizes for how messy her home is when there isn’t even a speck of dust in sight. I am definitely not that mom. If you drop by my house, you’ll find toys strewn all over and unmade beds.
THAT Mom Who Drinks Coffee
Yep, a lot of my mom friends drink coffee. But, I’m not that mom. I’ve tried, but it’s just not my thing. If I’m invited to an event at a coffee shop, I’ll be the one drinking tea. And, I’m OK with that.
I’ve found that I’m happiest when I don’t try to be THAT mom. I need to be THIS mom. I’m the mom with the slightly messy house. I’m the mom whose kids don’t always behave perfectly. I’m the mom who doesn’t need to organize every event. I’m the mom who tries to make healthy, nutritious meals but also lets the kids have junk food on occasion.
I’m the mom who wants to be happy, have happy kids and make memories with them. And that’s enough for me and my family.
This article was originally published on