Parenting

There's Still Time To Prime An Ugly Christmas Sweater That Holds A Bottle Of Wine

by Julie Scagell
Amazon

This sweater holds an entire bottle of holiday cheer

It’s Christmas Eve Eve, y’all. The halls are decked, the bells are jingling, and we’re all just waiting for family and friends to arrive to get the holidays started. Since we all know the woman of the house is the one bringing all the season’s magic by doing all of the food prep, gift wrapping, grocery shopping, matching Christmas outfit buying, stocking stuffing, and last-minute present buying, it’s time we start thinking about how to make our lives just a little bit easier.

Luckily, Amazon is coming through for the win again this year, selling a Tipsy Elves Women’s Christmas Stocking Tacky Sweater, and you can still get in time for Christmas because the retailer loves us and wants us to be happy. The sweater is adorable on its own but there’s a secret pocket on the front that holds an entire bottle of wine (or vodka if your racist uncle Jim is coming again this year) just for us.

Amazon

I take offense to this being called “tacky” because nothing says class more than walking around all night as a completely self-sustained party-goer. No need to wait for your glass to be filled by the host, oh no, you’ve got that taken care of all by yourself. You’re welcome.

“Extremely soft and high quality – will not shrink or itch,” the description reads. “Our Christmas sweaters are made with high- quality double-panel construction with reinforced seams. Machine washable and built to last.” This means we can enjoy the sweater (and wine it holds) for many seasons to come. Bless.

Amazon

The best part? If you order it today, it will arrive in time for the big day if you have Prime. It’s selling for $58 which feels like a bit much to spend on a sweater, especially this time of year, but it truly is the gift that keeps on giving. Not only could you bust this bad boy out for your own family gathering, you can use it for future ugly sweater parties, pub crawls, office parties, or really just an average Saturday night on the couch in your jammies when you’re too lazy to get up and pour yourself another glass.

Amazon

This is also the perfect buffer for the slew of family members who will show up expecting to be fed and watered, all while asking uncomfortable questions, giving out unsolicited political opinions, and sitting on their asses while we continue to be the hostess with the mostess from dawn till dusk.

Amazon

What are you waiting for? Get yourself a gift this year and when things get stressful just pull out a bottle of holiday cheer and pour yourself another glass. Or just take a swig from the bottle itself — no one’s judging.