The Bachelor‘s Jade Roper and Tanner Tolbert lost a baby soon after filming, and they’re speaking about it now for the first time
Jade Roper and Tanner Tolbert are, hands down, one of the cuter couples to come out of a Bachelor franchise show. They both failed to find love on their own respective seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, but when they met on Bachelor in Paradise in 2015, all of Bachelor Nation saw the sparks fly, like, immediately. What Bachelor Nation didn’t know was that very early in their relationship, Jade and Tanner would face tragedy. Now, they’re speaking publicly for the very first time about the miscarriage Jade suffered soon after filming wrapped up.
Bachelor In Paradise ended on a seriously high note for Jade and Tanner, who got engaged during the series finale. Just weeks later, though, Jade would discover she was pregnant. In a lengthy YouTube video detailing the whole story, Tanner revealed that she became pregnant the very first time they had sex – in the Fantasy Suite while filming Paradise.
“You always hear about those couples who get pregnant after the very first time they have sex,” Tanner says in the video’s first scene. “I never thought that would be me, but it was. Add on top of that that it happened on a TV show — in a Fantasy Suite — made things a little complicated, but this is the story of what happened to Jade and I.”
Jade went on to explain that they learned she was pregnant a few weeks later, while she was visiting Tanner at his home in Kansas City. They admitted that their reactions at the time were mixed. They were engaged and in love, but had met only four weeks prior.
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I had a miscarriage. These words have burned inside me for over three years. I was honestly so scared to share our story, because I have always had this inner voice that’s said I don’t matter as much, especially when it comes to my struggles or my pain. My journey with my grief has been a rollercoaster, and so I’ve never even known really where to start with telling others. I’ve also been afraid to tell people Tanner and I got pregnant on Bachelor in Paradise while filming. I’ve been keeping this weight for a long time, but being pregnant now again, all these emotions have been on the surface for me. I just felt it was time to get it out of me and share our story and honor our baby. Thank you for all the kind words, they’ve made me feel very loved and have made me feel less alone. ❤️ (link in my bio for our YouTube video sharing the story) #ihadamiscarriage
“It was just a lot to take in,” Jade says. But she packed up and moved to Kansas City, and the future looked bright. Until a few weeks later.
“Sadly we did lose the baby,” Jade tearfully explains in the video. “At the time, I didn’t really grieve because I just didn’t know really how to process it. It was so much so fast.”
Speaking to just how much was going on in hers and Tanner’s lives at the time, she added, “In a really bad way, it was almost like this relief, because we were in such a whirlwind.”
Now, four years later, Jade and Tanner have had their dream wedding, and welcomed their first daughter, Emerson, who is now almost two years old. And just this month, they announced that their second baby is on the way, due this summer.
Tanner explained that the grief over the miscarriage didn’t truly hit him — or Jade — until Emerson was born.
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We did it! Our little sweetheart is here! She arrived on her own terms, quickly and 4 weeks early, but she is perfect in every way, healthy and doing well. 💗 Precious little girl, there are no words to describe the feeling of holding you in our arms for this first time and looking into your beautiful eyes. We love you so much. #bestdayever #ilovemyfamily (Thank you, @avawomen for helping us start our family. ❤️) 📸: @melissarieke @melissaandbethphotography
“It’s hard to not be sad because, knowing how much I love Emerson today, I would have loved this baby that much, and I never got a chance to know him or her,” he said. “It’s really sad to think about what could have been.”
Jade and Tanner chose not to open up about this until now, but it’s great to see them talking about it publicly. It’s estimated that as many as one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage, and even if it happens early, the grief over losing a child is real and powerful. When people speak out like this about their own experiences, it reminds other families that they’re not alone in the hardships they face, and that’s important.
Jade and Tanner are so brave for speaking out, and it’s clear that this tragedy will be with them for the rest of their lives. They ended their video with a sweet note to the little one they never got to meet.
“We love you so much and think of you often and are so sorry we never got to meet you… But you will always be a part of our family. Love, Mom & Dad.”