When you’re a new mom, it seems like there’s nothing the world enjoys more than throwing advice at you. But all the best advice you’ll ever need is right here, compiled straight from our Scary Mommy Community…
1. When people offer to watch the baby so you can rest, REST, dammit. Don’t start working on the other tasks that need to get done. They can wait.
2. Calm down. Crying happens. Calm down.
3. Your baby will never again be this quiet or portable, so leave the house while you still can. See movies, eat out and run errands – those days are numbered!
4. Buy a good camera; the years go by way too quickly. The years you thought would never end are the years you end up missing the most.
5. Don’t forget to include yourself in the pictures. So many times mommies disappear behind the camera. You’ll look back later and wish you had more pics with your kids.
6. Print those pictures you’re taking, and BACK THEM UP!
7. Record the little moments. Pictures are great, but there’s nothing like video years from now.
8. Avoid the shit out of Pinterest.
9. Buy more yoga pants. Seriously. Invest in some great yoga pants.
10. Stop listening to advice. Go with your heart and your gut.
11. Be kind to your mommy body! You are going to have to work hard to get back in shape and that’s normal. Go easy on yourself.
12. Stay off of WebMD. At all costs.
13. Don’t bother with books; there’s no “right” way to do things and they’ll only stress you out. You’ll never be the perfect mom. Worry about being the happy mom.
14. Breast may be best, but formula is pretty damn good, too. Your child will get the best nutrition, love, and attention either way.
15. You’re going to become a sloppy mess for a while, and there will be days you will get NOTHING done. Don’t beat yourself up.
16. Shower! It won’t be the longest, best shower of your life, but shower. You probably smell.
17. Pick the baby up when he or she cries. You’re not going to spoil him.
18. Postpartum depression is real. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Get help.
19. Saying you’re not going to get pregnant again doesn’t really prevent pregnancy. Be smart.
20. It’s okay not to love every single moment of motherhood.
21. Fuck the dishes in the sink.
22. It’s totally fine to put the baby safely in his or her crib and walk away if you need to. You will feel so much better after a quick break. Really.
23. Don’t micro manage dad. Let him do it. Go sit down.
24. You will break everyone of the “My child will never…” rules. Most within the first year. And it’s totally okay.
25. Try to enjoy this period; the time really does go by fast, hard as it may be to believe at the moment.