In a new emotional post, Chrissy Teigen expands on her grief and reveals her biggest regret
Chrissy Teigen, who lost her son Jack in September, is continuing to share about her grief. Days after revealing that this would have been his birth week, she honored his due date with a truly moving and heart-tugging post on Instagram. Teigen shared a few photos from a trip she took to Mexico, where husband John Legend shot the music video for his song “Wild”; and in the caption, Teigen opened up about her biggest regret and how much she misses her late son.
“I was 10 weeks along and out of my mind happy. I knew the video would take a bit to get together so thought it would be cute to share our news with the world through the ole classic hand on belly trick at the end. I could have never imagined what would happen over the next 10 weeks,” Teigen wrote.
“Not sure I’ll ever be able to watch that video again without sobbing, but I hope he feels my tears and knows we miss him so,” she continued. “He would have been here any day now — if he were like Luna and Miles, I’d probably be holding him as we speak.”
Teigen then revealed a heartbreaking detail that continues to haunt her.
“I am so full of regret that I didn’t look at his face when he was born,” she wrote. “I was so scared of seeing him in my nightmares that I forgot about seeing him in my dreams. I hurt every day from that remorse.”
Teigen explained that she is struggling this month, but that it is “a rough reminder.” She also added that “to be honest, I thought the worst was over, but I guess life and emotions aren’t on any sort of schedule.”
“Love you guys to pieces and am grateful for all your support and love. I firmly believe energy and healing travels through the night sky and I feel it, I promise I do. ❤️ and I love you jack. I miss you so so much,” Teigen concluded.
In addition to mourning the loss of her son, Teigen revealed this week that she suffered from endometriosis and was undergoing surgery.
“My little jack would have been born this week so I’m a bit off,” she tweeted. “I truly feel kicks in my belly, but it’s not phantom. I have surgery for endometriosis tomorrow . . . but the period feeling this month is exactly like baby kicks. sigh.”
Teigen also shared a video of her stomach, heartbreakingly demonstrating the phantom kicks.
“I’ll pretend it’s him saying hi – it never stops,” she wrote.
Luckily, the surgery went well and Teigen shared on her Instagram stories that she was back at home and recovering.