Demi Lovato Says She's 'Too Queer' To Date A Cisgender Man

by Christina Marfice
John Shearer/Getty

Demi Lovato said she hooked up with a woman after breaking off her engagement to Max Ehrich and “it felt right”

A lot has changed for Demi Lovato over the last few years: She recovered from a near-fatal drug overdose. She produced her forthcoming YouTube documentary, Dancing With the Devil. And she got engaged, and later broke things off, with Max Ehrich in a highly publicized romance. Now, she’s explaining how that relationship was a turning point for her that enabled her to live more freely as herself.

In a new interview with Glamour, Lovato described her sexuality this way: “A one-size-fits-all solution does not work for everybody. What I’m encouraging people to do is just make choices for themselves. Autonomy, for me, is what changed my life.”

Lovato went on to say that she identifies as “really queer,” but has been waiting for the right moment to publicly label herself. However, her incredibly public breakup with Ehrich last year was a “huge sign” that she could “live her truth,” she said.

“When I started getting older, I started realizing how queer I really am,” Lovato explained. “This past year I was engaged to a man,” she went on. “And when it didn’t work, I was like, ‘This is a huge sign.’ I thought I was going to spend my life with someone. Now that I wasn’t going to, I felt this sense of relief that I could live my truth.”

After their breakup, she explained, “I hooked up with a girl and was like, ‘I like this a lot more.’ It felt better. It felt right.” Lovato also said that she now considers herself “too queer” to date another cisgender man.

“Some of the guys I was hanging out with — when it would come time to be sexual or intimate — I would have this kind of visceral reaction,” she added. “Like, ‘I just don’t want to put my mouth there.’ It wasn’t even based on the person it was with. I just found myself really appreciating the friendships of those people more than the romance, and I didn’t want the romance from anybody of the opposite sex.”

This isn’t the first time Lovato has talked about her evolving sexuality. In October, she told Queer Eye‘s Tan France that she knew she was queer from a young age.

“I pretty much told all of my friends and my older sister when I was 17,” she said. “They all knew before I brought it to my parents and then the public. Those were my three phases: friends, parents, public.”