Parenting|

Here’s 17 Things You Know To Be True If You’re Avoiding Laundry

by Team Scary Mommy
darby / Twenty20

Before you had kids, you knew there’d be a bit more laundry, but you probably thought how much laundry can one little baby create? After all, babies have tiny clothes so it will be easy to keep the laundry washed, folded, and put away. Right?

HA HA HA HA HA.

Children are fabulous at giving you that warm fuzzy feeling because ADORBS, but their true superpower is creating vast amounts of laundry.

We’re willing to bet that literally right this minute you’re avoiding doing laundry because YOU HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE. Here are just some of the things you’ve probably done to avoid going to battle with the dirty clothes monster.

1. Decided to toss all those dirty clothes because they no longer bring you joy. Thank you, next.

2. Contemplated turning all the laundry piles into an obstacle course so your kids can’t get to you.

3. Created four piles: 1) actually clean, 2) only worn it once so it’s clean-ish, 3) worn twice but it’s fine for working out, and 4) BIOHAZARD.

4. Driven to the store to buy a candle that smells like clean laundry instead of doing the actual laundry because, obviously, the first one is less work.

5. Accepted that some things in life are unexplainable: UFOs, pineapple on pizza, and the missing socks that are never coming back.

6. Decided anything with a stain just has “a lot of personality.” Thanks for listening, Mildred.

7. Caught yourself wondering if using Tide PODS could be considered a good enough “laundry hack” for you to declare yourself an Instagram influencer. With their new 4-in-1 formula, Tide PODS save you from the multiple steps no one wants to do anyway. TAG A FRIEND.

8. Don’t know what’s taking you so long because there could be buried cash in some of those pockets. WHAT I FINDS, I KEEPS.

9. Practiced saying “I don’t know how that got on there!” in the mirror so you’ll be convincing when you say it to people who point out that stain you swore no one would notice.

10. Done the kind of mathematical equations that make your brain hurt just to see how much it would cost to have literally anyone else handle this down comforter.

11. Spent days voraciously searching the internet for opinions on what age children can begin doing their own laundry because you’re hoping to find one that says “newborn.”

12. Thrown caution to the wind and plastic into the card reader ‘cause EVERYONE’S GETTING NEW CLOTHES. A mom can dream, right?!

13. Drifted off to napville thinking about the Spring Meadow smell of Tide PODS because it’s been far too long since the two of you met.

14. Secretly envied the laundry that’s been sitting in the dryer for days because it’s been allowed to be alone and quiet this whole time.

15. Covered all shared house surfaces in partially folded laundry so your fam is forced to go to their rooms and you can binge your show.

16. Legit think laundry should come with an award every single time you finish. May we suggest one minute alone for every pound washed, folded, and put away? Wait, maybe a minute for EACH step. YASSSS.

17. Take solace in the fact that at least laundry is always there for you. Thanks, laundry.

Eventually you’ll have to rise to the occasion and have your other half do the laundry already. But in the meantime, do you think this shirt smells? It’s got one more wear in it, right? Yeah. We thought so.

This post has been sponsored by Tide PODS® at Walmart because while we wish we didn’t have to do laundry, eventually someone’s gotta do it. You might as well use the best product out there to get it clean, especially since it’s been a while since your kid dropped that ice cream cone on their shirt.

The new, improved Tide PODS®, now available at Walmart, have a 4-in-1 breakthrough laundry technology with concentrated Tide detergent, extra odor fighters, extra stain fighters, and built-in pre-treaters all in the palm of your hand. Formulated to work in quick & cold cycles, Tide PODS save you time and energy while conquering that never-ending laundry. Please, keep out of reach of children.