Disney World is the happiest place on Earth… unless you’re this mom
Welcome to Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. That is, unless you’re an exhausted, enraged mom who, after chasing a three-year-old around a theme park all day, has had it with the folks who are truly ruining Disney parks: People without kids.
A Twitter user with the handle @JenKatWrites found, screen-shotted, and shared a Facebook post from what might be the most irrationally pissed off Disney-loving mom of all time, who goes on a big ol’ ranty rant about how childless sluts and their pretzels are ruining Disney parks for the children.
This is my new favorite wild mommy post. It’s me, the millennial slut who just goes to Disney World to make children cry pic.twitter.com/COokEiTdMm
— Jen and the Holophantoms of the Opera (@JenKatWrites) July 19, 2019
So that’s a wild ride. @JenKatWrites shared this with the perfect caption: “It’s me, the millennial slut who just goes to Disney World to make children cry.”
“IT PISSES ME OFF TO NO END!!!!! when I see CHILDLESS COUPLES WITHOUT [kids] AT DISNEY WORLD!!!!” the very upset mom writes. “DW is a FAMLY amusement park!!!! yet these IMMATURE MILLENNIALS THROW THEIR MONEY AWAY ON USELESS CRAP!!!”
But don’t worry, she has a solution to the problem. “People without CHILDREN need to be BANNED!!!!” she exclaimed.
Even ignoring all of this woman’s misogynistic language, the entire post is completely bat shit. Who gets that upset about having to wait in line for a pretzel? Oh, wait, an exhausted mom who is clearly not having any fun and is incredibly resentful of people who are having fun. Yep, that person.
The Twitter post kind of blew up, because whether it’s satire or not, it’s pretty hilarious. And all the other childless sluts who exist only to ruin Disney World have been responding with some pretty A+ tweets of their own.
As a single person with no kids who goes to Disneyworld all the time, this is making me feel extremely powerful.— Mitchell Stankowicz (@mstankow) July 20, 2019
“I hate childless women” is “I hate my choices and regret them.”— Robert Bohl (@robertbohl) July 19, 2019
DISNEY is for FAMILIES, by which I mean MOMS who have been driven into the arms of DESPAIR by their hellspawn BABIES that have been named AIDAN, TUCKER, DYLAN, or SKYLAR.— Jack Guignol (@ScholarOfDecay) July 19, 2019
Gimme that pretzel, you slapper! Little Tanner needs his num-nums.
Disney is for children, as evidenced by this "grown" child who doesn't want to share and blames other people for her decisions.— The Man in Black (@Writer_in_Black) July 21, 2019
She wants to ban childless visitors AND wants mothers with children to be able to skip line? I don't think she thought that through.— I Showed You Feral Hogs Pls Respond (@Jezzerat) July 21, 2019
Speaking as a parent with a 3yo, Ugh, why would you take a 3yo to Disney?? They won't remember or appreciate it. Also, how can you go to Disney and expect to not stand in line.— Eric B Gator (He/Him) (@weregator) July 19, 2019
Also if she has a 3yo, odds are she's a millennial herself.
As a childless millennial who enjoys the crap out of Disney parks and will be spending my birthday at Disneyland in just a few short months, I have to say I am delighted by this post. Now BRB while I go buy some short shorts and make plans to hog all the pretzels.
While Disney World is definitely a place designed with families in mind, there’s no age limit on manufactured fun, folks. If anything, there should be a lower limit, because infants (and three-year-olds, gasp) can have as much fun playing in their own living room as they can at a Disney park. You kind of have to be of a certain age to appreciate it, and three is probably not quite that age, sorry not sorry.
And if Disney weren’t meant for child-free folks, methinks there would not be an onsite brewery in California Adventures, or the mojito and margarita hut in the Animal Kingdom. Sorry if this is news to anyone (cough, this crazy mom), but those treats um, aren’t for kids. Someone get this woman a spiked Dole Whip, stat—she clearly needs it. Just make sure she doesn’t have to wait in line with all the millennial hussies and their piles of pretzels to get it.
If you’re a Disney-crazed, childless millennial like myself, you can now sign up to Disney+ to watch all your fave shows and movies for $6.99/month.