Being a parent is no joke. You have one job, and that job is to raise good people. Okay, it’s actually much more complicated than that, but if we start getting into the details, we’ll be here forever. And also, I don’t want to scare anyone.
Knowing what values and lessons you want to instill in your children and actually doing it are two completely different things—that’s why positive role models are so important. I’m a kickass mom most days, but it’s impossible for anyone to be kickass all the time, so the more role models we have at this parenting-party, the better.
Fortunately, I have my husband to share the responsibility of raising good people. Lord knows how this would turn out if I was left to my own devices.
My daughter is a lot like me, so I feel pretty confident about teaching the life lessons and instilling values. (She’s only 6 right now. I’ll circle back in a few years and let you know where my confidence level is at when she becomes a teenager.)
My son, however, doesn’t think like me at all, and often requests information I’m not well-versed in, because the male brain is a weird place. Alright, it’s not weird, but it confuses the hell out of me. There are some things I will never understand because I haven’t experienced them, and also because I’m not a dude.
I’m not saying women can’t raise strong, respectable men, because it happens all the time. Plenty of mothers do it without any help from a Y-chromosome. In my family, however, we happen to have a couple Y-chromosomes running around the house. While my husband has off days too, he is an amazing role model for our children, especially our son, who happens to idolize him.
Full disclosure: when my sweet boy started choosing daddy over me I was a little bummed, because OMG WTF?! I’m mama! I’m the one who fixes boo-boos, makes the perfect grilled cheese sandwich, and snuggles you after a bad dream.
But to be honest, I’m so grateful to have his help on this one. My son is rough and tumble. His passions are dirt, motors, and balls, which happen to be a lot of the same things my husband loves. I know what it’s like to have a mini-me, because my daughter and I are so similar. Having someone who understands my creative mind and processes life much like I do is awesome—of course I want that for my husband and son, too.
My son wants nothing more than to be like his daddy, and I’m totally here for it. Watching him proudly emulate my husband gives me all the mom feels. They wear matching outfits at my son’s behest. They “fix stuff” together, too. It’s not uncommon to walk into the garage and find my son’s toy tools scattered out next to my husband’s. My son confidently shows me his contributions to the project and explains what they will be doing next.
They sit side-by-side on the sofa, shouting at the tv when their favorite team is on, each with an arm resting behind their head. I watch my son study the position of my husband body, so he can mirror it as they lounge together on the sofa. It’s precious. The love, adoration, and respect he has for his daddy is evident in everything he does.
It’s not always presumed to be a good thing when a child is just like their father, but for me, there could be no better outcome. If my son grows to be a man like my husband, our goal of raising good people will be met with ease. Because just like his daddy, my son will be strong, but also sensitive and caring. He will be a good listener, who not only hears the words, but validates the emotions behind them. My son will be a protector for those he loves. He will passionately stand-up for what is right, learn from his mistakes, and give grace to others and to himself.
And though it often feels like I’m watching from the sidelines, I couldn’t be prouder to know there will one day be another man just like my husband.