Can someone please go rescue this little girl from her “friend” please?
Every kid plays pretend when they’re little; that’s part of the beauty of childhood. Using your imagination to create worlds of play before you become a bitter and jaded adult is a precious thing. For some kids, this imaginary play extends to the creation of an imaginary friend, which again is a totally normal part of childhood. But one little girl shared her imaginary “mum” and it’s rightly causing people to lose their shit and run for cover.
UK magazine Oh Comely asked kids to illustrate and write about the “companions” in their lives, namely their imaginary friends. So one little girl named Ruby decided to haunt our dreams with hers, who goes by the name “Grateful” and who visits her at night. Actress Natalie Morales tweeted the picture from the magazine and it understandably has people shook.
Ruby, you have a ghost. This is straight up terrifying. pic.twitter.com/DM0y77CWHI
— Natalie Morales (@nataliemorales) May 28, 2018
“This is my imaginary mum, Grateful. Her yellow eyelashes mean she can see in the dark – she only comes to see me at night-time. It scares me sometimes, but I always want her to come back. She has two babies in her belly. She’s 14 but can never have a birthday,” Ruby says in the magazine.
She. Can. Never. Have. A. Birthday. On my deathbed I’ll still have that line burned into my brain. Just no, no, no, NO, even if I wash my eyes out with bleach I’ll be haunted by that sentence for the rest of time run Ruby, RUN.
Morales quickly realized this Ghost quote may have been a more appropriate caption and people responded in kind:
Damnit i just realized the caption shoulda been— Natalie Morales (@nataliemorales) May 28, 2018
“Ruby, you in danger girl”
"Grateful" sounds like an early Puritan name that might've been given to a little girl - they had a preference for naming their children names that conveyed virtue. Haunting to think that "can never have a birthday" could be three-year-old speak for "died before she could give— Saint Equivocal (@FugaPericulum) May 29, 2018
"She's 14 but she can never have a birthday" is maybe the most horrifying phrase I've ever heard— Stuart (@stuwhen) May 28, 2018
Stephen king couldn't have written a more terrifying line!!!— Damon boyle (@Foxytiler) May 28, 2018
Last week my niece said "sometimes I feel the stealers hug me in the night when I'm sleeping, but they always leave before I wake up."
— Wawa SkittleTits (@MrsLauraRoslin) May 28, 2018
Parents on Reddit have also shared similarly horrifying things their kids have said and the results are comedy gold:
This takes the whole “kids will be kids” and really kicks it up a notch, eh? I’m thinking Ruby’s parents will be sleeping with their bedroom door locked from now on.
According to Psychology Today by age seven, about 37% of children take imaginative play a step farther and create an invisible friend, which is super cute in certain situations except when they’re a 14-year-old deceased pregnant girl, possibly from Puritan times. I mean, can’t little Ruby have a friend made of unicorn parts or maybe a little kid her age that farts rainbows? Is that too much to ask for this sweet girl?
Here’s hoping the rest of the stories shared for this magazine feature were a bit more light-hearted than this.