I Hope I Loved You Enough Today

As you lay sleeping in your bed, the weight of today lifts from my shoulders. The struggles of the day are quickly forgotten and I find myself looking at you in wonder. Memorizing your face and the dimples in your fingers. I want to rewind the day and tell you how good you did.

How proud I am of you.

I hope that I loved you enough today.

As I drive you to school, I catch a glimpse of your sweet face staring back at me in the rear view. I replay the morning and find myself wondering.

Did I love you enough today?

Through the chaos of the morning. Through brushing your teeth and washing your hands, using your big boy stool of course. Through cereal for breakfast and poured coffee to go. Through picking out your clothes for the day. Backpacks and kisses goodbye.

Did I love you enough today?

Through the hustle of the evening. Through dinner and bath time. Playtime and books. I wonder. Did I give you enough of my undivided attention? Did I snuggle you enough? Hug you enough? Kiss you enough? Teach you enough? Was I too hard on you? Did I listen to your stories intently? Did l tell you how smart you are?

Did I love you enough?

Because I want you to know; no, I need you to know that each and every day you are loved. And I will spend every day this life gives me, showing you. Reminding you.

Of your importance.

Of your worth. Of your strength.

When I ask you, “Do you know how much mommy loves you?” and you reply, “As BIG as the sky,” I hope you truly believe it.

I hope you feel it.

I hope it radiates within your soul. I hope it carries you through even the darkest of days. I hope no matter where this life takes you, you remember it.

Because I will ALWAYS be here. Rooting for you. Lifting you up. Encouraging you. Through moments of achievement and watching you soar, to even the hardest of days. Through tears of frustration, tempers and new found independence. On the days you drive me crazy and the days that you defy everything I am trying to teach you.

I am here.

Beside you.

And when you stumble. When you make mistakes.

I will be here.

Behind you — to catch you. Loving you through it all.

I hope I loved you enough today, my baby. Because you are, and always will be, the greatest thing I have ever done.

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