The Irrational And Hilarious Things That Make Pregnant People Cry

The Irrational And Hilarious Things That Make Pregnant People Cry

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Scary Mommy and EllenaZ/Getty

When I was pregnant with my first, I cried over possibly the most ridiculous thing known to humankind. An insurance company released a commercial about a couple who “adopted a rescue panther” instead of investing in a home security system. The commercial depicts the couple lying motionless in bed, wide awake. A beautiful black panther is perched atop their dresser, staring at them and licking his lips.

The first time I saw that commercial, I burst into tears without warning because I was so distraught about the idea of a panther living in a house in a neighborhood. I sobbed, “A house is no place for a panther!” I couldn’t think about that panther without tearing up for months.

Since then, I’ve been pregnant two more times, and each time I’ve had moments where something inane felt huge and worthy of ALL. THE. TEARS. My husband once went back to a the takeout restaurant three times because I was crying so hard about the way they messed up my egg foo young twice in a row. I wept on and off for two days about a bamboo kitchen utensil holder. I sobbed real tears at Christmas time because Mary had to give birth in a stable and that sounded so unsanitary.

Everyone knows pregnancy can be a roller coaster. It’s equal parts beautiful and total hormonal chaos. Almost nobody gets through it without crying about something silly at least once.

So we asked: What is the funniest, silliest or most irrational thing you or your partner cried about when you were pregnant?

As it turns out, lots of us cry about food.

“When I was pregnant with my oldest, I ordered a ‘mandarin chicken salad’ from a fast food restaurant. I was thinking it would have a yummy sesame-ginger dressing or something at least halfway Asian-inspired. Their only options were, like, ranch and Italian, dressings which (in my pregnant, hormonal opinion) did not go with that salad AT ALL. I literally burst into tears at the cash register over the lack of variety in salad dressing. My husband was appalled.” — Rita T.

“When I was pregnant, I craved lemonade. I went a grocery store called No Frills, and they didn’t have lemonade, lemon juice, OR lemons. I burst into tears, wailing, ‘ARE LEMONS A FRILL???’” Good times. — Amanda K.

“I was reading a book and a character in the book made a ham and cheddar cheese sandwich. I can’t eat cheddar cheese, but that sounded so good that I started crying because I can’t have one.” — Kathy R.

I mean, A LOT of us are really emotional about our meals.

“When I was pregnant, I ordered a burrito and asked for no salsa. When I took the first bite, there was an onion, and I cried like a moody toddler. The servers offered to redo my order, but I said, ‘Now I have the taste of onions in my mouth. I’m sorry. I can’t eat anymore.’ Almost 10 years later, I still don’t order food from this place.”  — Tatyana F.

“When I was pregnant with my second, I finally got my hands on the KFC I was craving. We decided to eat supper while watching TV. I saw a commercial for the exact same food I had in front of me. I wept. The man in the commercial looked like he was enjoying his food more than I was, and it wasn’t fair.” –Megan B.

“I cried over chocolate chip cookies. My husband ate the last one a day before my C-section, and I actually sobbed. Ugly cried. They were so damn gooey and good, and I was saving the last one for later.” — Caila S.

“I put a bowl of ice cream on my belly, and my son kicked it really hard. It flew off my pregnant tummy, and onto the floor. It was the last of the ice cream, and I cried.” — Lauren D.

Sometimes our partners get it all wrong.

“I turned on Mariah Carey’s Christmas album, and my husband started dancing around and making fun of the song.  I turned off the music, but he felt bad and tried to turn it back on. That started a turning on/ turning off war between my husband and me. The whole time I was crying so hard because he didn’t like Mariah Carey.” — Shelley T.

“When I was pregnant with my second my husband brought me cereal in bed one night. He brought me a little spoon, but I prefer a big spoon because you get more milk in every bite. I cried because he obviously didn’t know me or love me enough to know my preferences. Poor guy.” — Erica R.

“I told my husband my wipers weren’t clearing the rain off my windshield properly. He went to look at them, and they were working fine. When he told me that, it felt like he was calling me stupid, and I cried because he didn’t respect me.” — Jennifer B.

“My wife told me I was mean, and I didn’t think she was smart because I told her that the word she was looking for was ‘seahorse,’ not ‘horsefish.’ I apologized profusely, but she still cried for close to an hour until she fell asleep.” — Scott C.

“I started crying because I wanted to see the Twilight movie, and my husband did not.” — Kelly S

And sometimes our spouses are just too right, and it is just too much.

“During my first trimester with our third, my husband came home from work early. Both of our kids happened to be asleep, which never happens. I immediately threw him on our bed, and we had the most amazing, passionate sex. Right at our big moment, which happened to be perfectly synced, I started sobbing because I felt like he loved me so much. I was just straddling him and weeping. I said, ‘I’m so sorry. You’re never going to want to do me again,’ and he replied, ‘Honestly, babe, this does feel a little weird, but I definitely still want to do it.'” — Regina G.

“I cried because my husband brought home a doughnut for me. I was overwhelmed by how sweet he was. He couldn’t figure out if he did something right or wrong.” — Susan D.

And then, of course, there are those times when we are just a whole entire pregnant mess.

“When I was pregnant, I called fortune cookies “corken foochies,” and I felt so stupid that I burst into tears.” — Jenn W.

“I cried while pregnant with my first child because all I could think about is how things weren’t going to be the same between my dog and me after I had the baby.” — Tracy A

“During my first pregnancy, I cried because I didn’t have anything I could use to play my 1997 VHS copy of Scream.” — Fay O.

“There was a TV show about Pompeii. I was HYSTERICAL for 45 minutes about the fact that the art in the brothel houses was destroyed.” — Lydia M.

“I cried uncontrollably when I realized I had to tell my mother I was pregnant with my first child. It was so embarrassing that she would know I slept with a man. I was in my twenties, and I had been married for a year!”– Jeanne S.

And, finally, this honorable mention:

It isn’t technically about crying during pregnancy, but it is definitely a testament to the hazards of pregnancy cravings.

“My wife wanted skittles late at night, and I ended up a witness in an armed robbery.” — Derald G.

Pregnancy hormones can be a real kick in the pants. The good news is, these emotions, while very real and uncomfortable at the time, often provide us with funny memories that last a lifetime.