These celebrity moms shared the grossest things their kids have ever done
Quick: what’s the absolute grossest thing your child has ever done? Now, with that answer in mind, prepare to be outdone by the likes of Kristen Bell, Scarlett Johansson, and a bunch of other famous moms. Warning: a whole lot of poop stories up ahead.
Kristen Bell started off “Momsplaining,” a segment on The Ellen Show, by saying that she once had butt worms. How, pray tell, did she get those butt worms? Well, her children rather generously passed them along. “Seriously you guys,” Bell said. “Kids are gross.”
Okay, butt worms are pretty bad. But then Scarlett Johansson came on the screen and recounted a time when her child pooped all over the bathroom floor AND the wall. Also, Johansson accidentally stepped in it. That’s really, really bad.
Next up, we’ve got Kim Kardashian. Just look how cute her kid is.
Turns out, one of her children once stuck a toothbrush in the toilet and proceeded to brush her teeth with it. Also, she ate dog food.
Raise your hand if you’ve been projectile vomited on. Now, here’s a small dose of comfort that Jennifer Lopez, the most glamorous person in the world, has also experienced her baby throwing up directly in her face.
Thankfully, it’s only been uphill since then.
Not to be outdone, Charlize Theron’s children had pink eye. And hand, foot, and mouth.
Alright, and now let’s get to our winner. My sympathies definitely went out to Scarlett Johansson with the whole bathroom wall poop situation. But Kelly Clarkson’s kid once picked up their dog’s poop, played with it, and then APPLIED it to his mouth. So, yes, ding ding ding. We have officially crowned the grossest moment ever.
Photo evidence of happier, more poop-free times.
Here’s patiently counting down the days until bodily functions are kept in their proper places and none of us have to touch poop or vomit ever, ever again.