The Entire Internet Is Not Here For The Potential Return Of Low-Rise Jeans

The Entire Internet Is Not Here For The Potential Return Of Low-Rise Jeans

Jeff Vespa/Getty/Twitter/Taylor Lorenz

Literally no one is asking for low-rise jeans to come back.

According to The Cut, there’s a very good chance the low-rise jeans of the early aughts will be making a comeback next year. You know, the Mudd flares that were so low you had to make sure your pubic hair was trimmed enough to accommodate them?

Right. Those. The universally-unflattering-no-matter-how-skinny-you-are jeans might be “in” again, but the entire internet is here to say HELL NO.

The Cut says trend forecasters predict a full-on resurgence of the low-rise jean by 2020. Apparently “Gen-Zers” are into capturing the Y2K look so many of us suffered through — big belt buckles and all.

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Uh-huh.

The low-rise revival should be taken seriously — Levi’s has officially added low-rise styles to it’s 2019 offerings. Jill Guenza, VP of Global Women’s Design at Levi’s confirmed to The Cut that the brand “love[s] a low rise again.”

The Entire Internet Is Not Here For The Potential Return Of Low-Rise Jeans

Look, we’re still not fully recovered from learning bootcut jeans are back in style, okay? YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO US, FASHION BRANDS. STOP HATING WOMEN.

Naturally, women of the internet shared their general concern, ire, and all-around denial of the comeback of butt-crack jeans. Because basically only Britney Spears can pull them off, and that’s it.

I graduated high school in 2003, also known as the Height Of The Low-Rise trend. I weighed 80 pounds less than I do now and had the flattest stomach I’ll ever have in my life.

And I still had a puffy muffin top spilling its way above the fold, because that’s what low-rise jeans do. You think sitting in high-waist jeans is uncomfortable? What about feeling a draft inside your buttcrack while you’re sitting down, because your jeans are so low no shirt or coat can protect you?

The Entire Internet Is Not Here For The Potential Return Of Low-Rise Jeans

Don’t even get me started on how many “whale tails” we all endured (both our own and others’) because of these pants.

Listen up, fashion brands and trend forecasters: you can pry our high-waisted, flattering jeans from our cold, dead hands. Haven’t women been through enough?!