Parenting

Pepperidge Farm Now Makes Adult-Sized Goldfish Because We Deserve It

We finally get an adults-only Goldfish option

No more stealing from the kids’ table. Pepperidge Farm apparently has some sort of mind reader on staff and decided to launch Goldfish Mega Bites, a new, adult-friendly version “designed specifically to fit adult palates and larger hands.”

That’s right. You don’t have to settle for noshing on your kids’ leftover tiny fish. Now, the company is giving us grown-up fish that are 50% bigger and come in a wide range of bolder flavors to satisfy more sophisticated palates.

The brand says that 40 percent of all Goldfish crackers are eaten by adults, something that “has shifted” in recent years. “Mega Bites is a bigger, bolder, cheesier ‘reboot’ of the classic Goldfish that kids of all ages have enjoyed for nearly 60 years,” the company said in a press release.

“This is the first time Goldfish has created a snacking experience specifically with ‘Grown Up’ tastes in mind,” explained Janda Lukin, chief marketing officer at Pepperidge Farm’s parent company, Campbell Snacks. “We’re at the start of a new chapter for the brand and are expanding our offerings and appeal to all age groups — in the college dorm, snacking at your desk, wherever that is these days — while remaining a snack for all families. We’re excited to keep creating bold and playful snacks and experiences.”

Gone are the days of grabbing a handful of tiny fish and shoveling them into our mouths between kid’s activities, laundry, homework, and meal prep. Now, we can enjoy our own, appropriately-sized freshwater fish at a pace and flavor of our choosing. What a time to be alive.

The Mega Bites will come in exciting flavors like Sharp Cheddar and Cheddar Jalapeño, which delivers “a touch of heat and deliver a mega indulgent snacking experience with robust flavors and a crispy, flaky texture.” Sounds like a winner to me.

There’s no telling where this trend could take us. Today, it’s adult-sized Goldfish. Tomorrow, it could be chicken nuggets shaped like sweats or Rose-infused juice boxes. The possibilities are endless.

“Goldfish were first introduced to the United States in 1962 and originally offered as a snack to be served with cocktails, showing up at local watering holes, pubs, bowling alleys, dinner parties and more,” the press release continued. Who knew these were meant for us this entire time?

Goldfish Mega Bites will now be available wherever you normally stock up on your kid’s Goldfish Crackers, selling for $2.69 per 5.9 oz. bag, so add that to your shopping list this week if you want to treat yourself.