Mom nails the feeling of being a “hot mess”
Motherhood is tough. There are a million balls in the air all the time and it can feel like sometimes we’re drowning in a sea of dirty laundry and doctor’s appointments. It’s not easy for anyone to keep it all together, but some are just better at hiding it than others. One mom’s post seems to sum up perfectly the “hot mess” we’ve all been at one point or another — or seem to be all the time.
Danielle Silverstein and Farrah Maliavsky of the Facebook page, Where The Eff Is My Handbook, shared the now viral post, beginning it with, “Ok, full disclosure: I really AM a hot-mess mom. I am consistently five steps behind where I should be in the world of responsible adulting,” a sentiment felt by so many mothers out there.
“Never once have I thought to myself, “OMG, I think I’m actually tackling this whole parenthood thing,” Silverstein said. “Nope. Not once.”
She goes on to say she doesn’t believe “having it together and being a good mom are even synonymous,” and decided to just embrace the “hot mess” mom she is instead of concerning herself with all the things she feels she should be doing, but isn’t.
“I am that mom who doesn’t do dishes at night before I go to bed. I do dishes when I get around to doing dishes. I’m that mom who grabs her kids’ clothes out of the dryer in the morning because nothing is folded and put away,” she says. “I’m that mom who misses a birthday party or an appointment from time to time because I forgot to put it in my calendar.”
The mother of three told Scary Mommy she thinks so many of us often feel like if we don’t have it all together and aren’t as organized, cool, calm, and collected as we would like to be, that it somehow means we’ve failed as a mom. The truth is, “one really doesn’t have anything to do with the other. Organization and love have nothing to do with one another,” she said.
We’ve all seen the moms on social media who post pictures of their perfectly dressed, stain-free kids or know the mom whose house is always immaculate. But that’s not reality. It’s nice to see someone who can admit they’re barely hanging on by a thread most days. Like the rest of us.
“I’m that mom who forgets to RSVP and gets a last minute text asking if my kid is coming to the party. I’m that mom who screams all morning to get the kids out of the house because we are all running late. I’m that mom who lets her kids have endless screen time sometimes (ok, more than sometimes) just because I don’t feel like fighting and need to get a few things done.”
But, she goes on to say that despite the mess, or likely because of being able to let things go, her kids are happy. And she is happy, too.
“I’m also that mom whose kids are safe. I’m also that mom whose home has lots of love and laughter,” Silverstein writes. “I’m also that mom who is constantly working to show her kids they are accepted no matter what.”
She finishes her post acknowledging the mess and magnificence of it all. “I’m definitely a hot-mess mom, but dammit, I’m still pretty fabulous.”