Mom wants to exclude bride’s BFF from the wedding party
In the latest installment of Some People Suck, a parent recently wrote into an advice columnist with perhaps the most obnoxious question ever. It is insensitive at best, downright cruel at worst, and the entire Internet is shaking its head at this woman because she is downright vile and needs a serious lesson in basic human decency.
The parent whose daughter is about to get married, wrote in to Salon’s Dear Prudence advice column asking whether it was okay to ask the bride to exclude her best friend – who happens to have a limp – from the wedding party.
Yep, you read that right. She wants to exclude her daughter’s BFF because she walks with a limp. (I’m just going to assume it’s a mom, though it could be the bride’s dad too. It’s anybody’s guess.)
— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) September 6, 2017
The mom tries to make herself seem reasonable by explaining that her 27-year-old daughter and her best friend, Katie, have been friends since they were just four-years-old. She even goes so far as to say that Katie is “like a daughter to her,” before admitting that she doesn’t want Katie to be maid of honor because of the limp.
“I still think it will look unsightly if she’s in the wedding procession limping ahead of my daughter,” the woman wrote. “I mentioned this to my daughter and suggested that maybe Katie could take video or hand out programs (while sitting) so she doesn’t ruin the aesthetic aspect of the wedding.”
Um… what? Is this woman for real?
Daniel Mallory Ortberg, the voice behind the Dear Prudence column, responded by admitting that he’s having a hard time wrapping his head around the question – which is putting it very mildly because we want to respond with “WTF is wrong with you?”
Ortberg did throw some shade and suggest that the monster-of-the-bride – er, mother-of-the-bride – reread the letter and ask herself if she might sound like a villain in a Reese Witherspoon movie. (Spoiler alert: she does.)
“A limp is not a fly in the ointment; it’s a part of Katie’s life,” Ortberg wrote. “It is not only wrong to have asked your daughter to consider excluding her best friend over this—it is ableist, and cruel, and it speaks to a massive failure of empathy, compassion, and grace on your part.”
He instructed the mom to apologize to her daughter, though the mom admitted in her letter that she and her daughter aren’t close, so we’re guessing this isn’t the first time the mom has acted like a monster.
There is so much wrong with this hot mess of a letter — not even sure where to start. First, is she fucking bonkers? This is one of the meanest and ugliest things ever written. Second, can’t even believe this has to be said, but a limp is nothing to be ashamed of and the fact that the mother is concerned about it at all is beyond disturbing. Third, can someone break it to mom that this isn’t her wedding; it is her daughter’s wedding. And finally, what the hell is wrong with this woman?
Ortberg concluded by telling the mom, “I encourage you to profoundly reconsider the orientation of your heart,” which seems like just about the best advice ever.
Perhaps she can do that while she’s handing out programs and videoing her daughter’s beautiful best friend walk up the aisle.