10 Reasons I’m Not Ready for School to Start

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I think I speak for all of us when I say our kids have been driving us INSANE all summer! HALLELUJAH AND HEAVEN ON A POPSICLE STICK, school is FINALLY here again! I’ve been marking off the days on my calendar and jiggly-dancing with unbridled joy! YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

Wait, wha??? No, I haven’t.

I’m not ready for school to start at all! I mean, I understand the theory in concept: the fewer kids there are in the house, the quieter the house, the less crap to clean up, the fewer disputes to mediate, etc… I get that. But there are worse things, comrades!

1. I have to start setting my alarm clock again. Oh, COME ON! I just settled into my stay-up-‘til-one-and-sleep-‘til-nine schedule. The kids know how to turn on the TV in the morning, pour themselves a bowl of cereal, and leave me the heck alone. And now I have to readjust to getting up at the butt-crack of dawn again? AND I have to give up my precious late-night alone time? Would someone please pass me a tissue? *sniff*

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2. And don’t even get me started on the morning routine. Coaxing my son out of bed while it’s still dark is like trying to disarm a bomb; you just never know when he might go off. And once my grumpy little troll has at last been pried from his mattress with the Jaws of Life, he slumps listlessly in front of his oatmeal in a catatonic state, eyes glazed over and a string of drool dangling precariously from one corner of his mouth. I have to practically shove food down his throat so he doesn’t end up starving at eleven in the morning and having a meltdown in class. Getting dressed is so difficult that I had to make a chart for him. Underwear first, son, pants next. (Doesn’t it seem like that would be obvious?)

3. I have to make my kid’s lunch every morning, before I’ve even had my coffee. I mean, I don’t HAVE to… but the stuff they serve in the cafeteria… well I’m not sure it can really be classified as food. And the school lets the kids choose what they put on their tray, so many kids’ cafeteria lunches consist of a slice of pizza, a brownie, an ice-pop, and chocolate milk. My kid has ADHD; if he ate a lunch like that, he would probably explode. That would be a trifle traumatizing for his classmates, I think. And for all you organized super-moms who are about to suggest I make his lunch the evening before? Uh… well, I don’t have a snappy come-back for you. You’re absolutely right, I should totally do that. But I won’t, because I’m not that organized. So there.

4. School-year grooming is more demanding than summer-time grooming. We can get away with lackadaisical hygiene over the summer – but when school is in session, teachers, administrators, other moms, the janitor… they will all judge me if my kid’s hair is too long, he stinks, there’s dirt under his nails, or a little wax is showing in his ear canal. These are all things which, during summer, can be swept under the proverbial rug. After all, the pool is anti-microbial, right? (Until someone’s kid takes a shit in it, then not so much, I guess.)

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5. My kid has to get used to wearing shoes other than flip-flops again. After a summer of nothing but Crocs and flip-flops, regular shoes (no open-toed or sling-backs, per the dress code!) suddenly feel like medieval-torture devices. “My shoes feel weird, Mommy.” “Something’s rubbing/pinching/squishing/scratching me, Mommy.” “There’s a wrinkle in my sock, Mommy.” I need another tissue, please. Or a Xanax.

6. Schedules get crazy during the school year. The mere act of programming all the obligatory meetings and appointments into my phone calendar exhausts me. And that’s before I actually DO any of the stuff. During the summer we lazily float through the days, and all the fun stuff we do is on impulse, just how we like it. But the school year is a highly-scheduled smorgasbord of after-school activities, teacher conferences, required volunteer hours, birthday parties, school recitals, project due-dates… just kill me now.

7. Homework once again becomes part of the daily routine. I’m sorry, weren’t you just in school for six hours, kid? They couldn’t squeeze enough learning into SIX HOURS? Ya gotta do an extra hour at home while I’m trying to fold laundry and cook dinner? I thought I was done with homework when I graduated college; this is a fresh new hell.

8. During the school year, the kids need to be on a consistent bed-time routine. No more “if you rub/walk on/scratch Mommy’s back, you get to stay up later” crap. They actually require a certain number of hours of sleep to function at optimal capacity, and it’s on me to make sure they get it.

9. Fundraisers. Here’s a hundred bucks, school. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE.

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10. When big kids go back to school, little ones at home lose their playmates. This is probably a good thing if your kids can’t stand each other. And if you don’t have little ones at home, this obviously doesn’t apply to you. But my seven and three-year-olds are best friends and play together all day long with only infrequent altercations. (Knocking on wood right now; I’m not an idiot.) When my son goes into second grade, my daughter will inevitably force me to sludge through countless hours of My Little Pony, following her impromptu script for what each of the characters are supposed to say. The worst thing about this is that I actually know all the Pony’s personalities and dialects, and am incapable of performing my part without being fully in character. If you have any concept of how distinct each of the main characters of My Little Pony are, you know how much skill this requires. Go ahead, clap. I’ll wait.

And if you want to know the real truth… I’ll miss my son while he’s at school. There. I said it. So sue me. It’s true: in spite of my incessant whining about how my kids are always underfoot and driving me crazy with their noise, I do actually kind of like having them – both of them – around.

Related post: A Letter To My Children On Their First Day of School

About the writer

When Kristen Mae isn’t running absurdly long distances, washing poop out of her dog’s butt-hair, or taming her two booger-machines, she’s tossing her expensive master’s of music performance degree out the window by feverishly attacking her “writing career.” Kristen is the voice of Abandoning Pretense, where she tells the whole, uncensored truth about marriage, parenthood, and life. In addition to her blog, Mae shares hilarious and heart-warming tidbits of her life on her Facebook page, Google+, Twitter and Pinterest, and read her words at Nickmom.com and Bluntmoms.com, where she is on the editorial board.

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Cindy 1 year ago

My youngest is going to kindergarten this year and for the first time in twelve years I will have half a day with no children around. One would think this would be a Great Thing, but I’m finding out that apparently all I did as a stay at home mother was watch the kids I had at home, because suddenly the fact that I will have four hours a day without a kid in the house means I can be designated The Woman Who Now Does Everybody Else’s Shit Because Obviously I’m Not Doing Anything Else At All Ever.

Already the requests are coming in. Did someone along the line forget that the actual amount of work I have to do hasn’t changed? That I still have to do the housework and laundry for eight people no matter HOW many kids happen to be in the house? That I’m responsible for all the paperwork, record-keeping, and financial management of our home AND our business? And God forbid I’m able to do all of that and also try to make a dent in preparing meals ahead of time, etc. while I actually have a moment of peace… God no. Stay at home mothers just don’t do a damn thing when the kids aren’t home, didn’t you all know? And there they are, just ready and willing to do errands for everybody!

Grr.

Allison B 1 year ago

I agree with all of these reasons and I’m dreading school starting on Monday. I feel you on losing the playmate. One of my twins is going to school full day in the school district’s preschool while the other twin is not. The best part about twins is having a built in playmate and Molly is losing hers. Which means I’m going to be her new full time playmate and I just don’t enjoy hunting for bugs as much as my son does.

Kristy Hughes 1 year ago

I completely agree with everything– except getting my son up. He pops out of bed all ready to start the day- one of those morning people- ugh! The younger isn’t a morning person and he has to up to take older to school– he isn’t happy about it.

gypsymaria 1 year ago

My little guy is only 5 months old, but I’m sure I’m going to have mixed feelings about him going to school. On the one hand, SO EXCITED OMG MY LITTLE GUY GOING TO SCHOOL YAY GOOD JOB! On the other, WHAT OH NO AH I AM SCREWING THIS UP OMG WHAT ARE MORNINGS EVEN HELP! I can see it all now… o_o I’m just remembering my own childhood and how intense my love/hate relationship with school was, and imagining what it’s going to be like by the time my little guy is old enough to go. Yeesh.

Also, I laughed so hard at your My Little Pony anecdote. I watch that show on my own because I am an incurable cartoon junkie, and my little guy doesn’t mind hanging with me when there are bright colors and music happening on the TV, even though he’s still too little to actually pay attention (especially since his hand is SO DELICIOUS right now, because he’s teething). I’m actually looking forward to watching cartoons and playing pretend with him when he gets a little older. I think that part of me never grew up, and probably never will. 😛

Robin 1 year ago

My kids just figured out last week how to play quietly and alone while I slept in. And now we have to ruin it. Bah.

I agree with everything you said!

Winning Back An Ex Boyfriend 2 years ago

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Kat F 2 years ago

Okay. I get all of that, but I must say I am 24 years old. And I adore and love MLP (My Little Pony) I go to the conventions and am now brain washing my boyfriend. I love Rainbow Dash and he likes Applejack.

All I actually am saying there is a group of Pony fans that are adults. However!! I have a little sister that is home schooled. And I really wished she wasn’t in the whole must watch MLP 2000 times a week. especially since she had more time to do it then I did!! And it does get tiring after like 4th time….

sorry for the rant. And I really enjoyed your post :)

Audrey Hulsey 2 years ago

Yes, I feel it. Almost makes me want to homeschool..well..no..not really.

Jack 2 years ago

I miss helping my kids get ready for school.

Frankie Laursen 2 years ago

I was looking forward to school starting pretty much as soon as the last school year ended. Then the summer flew by, and I felt disappointed that we didn’t get to go to the beach enough, we didn’t go hiking as many times as I would have liked.

But today my husband and I purged a whole bunch of the kids’ old clothes, toys, craft projects, and goody bag items while both kids were in school.

This is the perfect time. The kids are in school, but it’s before Back to School Night, and all the volunteer committees are still being filled. I can actually breathe and think for a few days.

Motherunit 2 years ago

I’ve seen those pre-made, crustless PB&J sammiches in the freezer section of the store. They cost an arm and a leg. Can’t believe anyone would buy them when it’s so easy to DIY, but they’ve been around for years, so I guess the Smuckers people know more than I do.

L.A. Say Inc. 2 years ago

Yes getting them up for school is dangerous but is it better then having them come home full of sugar? lol Good thing there are after school programs.
http://www.lasayinc.com

Motherunit 2 years ago

Coupon books! Aaarrgh! Only a handful of coupons are for places anywhere near where you live. Only a few of those are for any place you’d want to go. And they’re ALL two-fers. All of them.

Debi 2 years ago

My thoughts EXACTLY! One more week to go…

Nicole Stewart 2 years ago

Yes! Yes! Yes! I so feel you on this.

Becky 2 years ago

Ever try reversing the roles? It’s rather fun to watch your child’s face when you refuse to get out of bed and then start whining, “but I don’t waaaaannaaaaa” at them. :)

sandy 2 years ago

I love this post! My problem is that my summer schedule is staying up until 3 and waking up around 9 or 10 — and I still catch my ADHD-er awake when I finally do go to sleep (I want to be the only one awake — it’s part of the Night Owl code). Let’s just say it’s an adjustment, and amazingly hard to get the kids to both go to sleep and wake up. I’ve always made lunch the day of because PBJs get soggy, but I will have to try freezing them. Anything to keep them from buying lunch — $80 a month for both of them to buy only the minimum. Ouch.

Lisa Leach Parasram 2 years ago

If I could get away with number 9, I would.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

OMG. You two are KILLING me. lol

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Hehe! No worries! <3

Daniel Angelini 2 years ago

It's the older brother's duty to harass the younger. Source: I'm your Husband's younger brother.

Dy 2 years ago

Just realized you ARE the OP, Kristen 😀 Oops!

Dy 2 years ago

Lol, an angel? No :) But in my professional life, I worked as an executive assistant, so I’m exceedingly good with time management and recognizing (my own and others’) deficiencies in order to shore them up!

I have a 9yo SD whom we’ve gotten into the routine of getting up for school just fine, but her DAD is the absolute WORST to get out of bed in the morning – very much like OP’s son. So short of jumping on the bed and pouring cold water on the man’s head, I’ve learned that streamlining the morning in other ways gives me time to make sure everyone’s out of the house in time for bus/carpool/work/playgroups/etc.

There’s probably volumes I could tell you about lunch-fixing and laundry and such, but… Yeah 😀 I guess I should start a blog or something for that 😀 Ty for the compliment!

kristen brakeman 2 years ago

So true Kristen – (and nice name too!)
Especially the check writing – and the forms. I think I lost a day of my life filling out forms that are basically identical to last year’s forms. And I know I’ve already written upwards of 1000.00 in checks and I’m not done. Yes for public schools.
Funny piece!

Anita Walsh 2 years ago

I no longer have children at home, but totally agree with you. I never understood the parents who were happy to have their kids go back to school. Summer was so much more fun without the schedules and early mornings. I always said it was easier having them at home. I genuinely enjoyed having them with me.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

I actually AM a morning person. My kid… is NOT. AT. ALL.

Therein lies the problem. hehe

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Whateryou, like an angel from Heaven or somethin’? Wowzers. <3

British American 2 years ago

Ahhh, so I should be thankful for just once a week practice then!

Amanda Martin 2 years ago

This is our first year of school and all these things terrify me (especially number 10 as my kids leave me alone for at least some of the day to play together). I’ve been self employed for seven years, so I haven’t had to get up five days a week in all that time. I am not a morning person and it’s going to hurt! :) How long until half term?

Dy 2 years ago

I don’t know how old your son is, but if he’s still young, have him go to bed in his clothes for the next day. That’ll save you a step for the next morning 😀 Also, lunches…did you know you can freeze PB&J sandwiches? They unfreeze in time for lunch and taste exactly the same as going in! If you loathe packing lunches like I do, make up baggies of fruit or whatever on the weekend, freeze the week’s sandwiches, and just toss everything together in the morning before shoving your kids out the door 😀

Bigzigfitness Soboleski 2 years ago

Tracey Soboleski, Shannon Layman Norton yep….

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Dollar store. 😉

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Lucas is in soccer too. Twice a week plus crack-o-dawn on Saturdays. WE HATE IT. (But we love it.)

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Yeah. Three at home will keep ya busy. You “more-than-two” mommas are my heroes. <3

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Haha, I hear ya… there were definitely a few days during summer when I wished Lucas was back in school. 😉

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

It’s why I only have two. I once watched an episode of Kate plus eight (HOW DARE JON LEAVE THEM!!!) and watched her make eight school lunches and it made me seriously ill.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

It took a while for us to get Lucas used to flip-flops. He’d say, “They’re giving my toes a wedgie!”

He’s used to it now, though.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Ah, yes. The school supplies. I remember going with my mom to Wal-Mart and buying whatever the heck I wanted. (Lisa Frank was really big back then.) Now the list is UBER-SPECIFIC, sometimes right down to the brand. But screw that, they’re getting Rose Art from me, not Crayola. I’ve seen what those kids do to the crayons and markers. *I’m* not payin’ for that mayhem.

Kelly 2 years ago

Not ready here. School open house tonight for my twin 3rd graders, and I still have to buy the disinfectant wipes and tissues. Can I just skip that this yr…will anyone know?

British American 2 years ago

Yes! The kids have started to drive me nuts over the past week or so, but school starting is going to be another kind of nuts – especially since my 2nd will start K and it’ll just be me and my 2 year old at home.

Plus I just found out yesterday that because I signed up my 5 year old to play soccer on Saturdays, I have to take him to an after school practice once a week?! I figured I just had to show up on Saturdays and it would all be good. I’m so not up for squeezing soccer practice in amongst dinner and homework and bedtime. I wish that would have been mentioned in the sign-up info. I might have passed!

Shannon Wijnker 2 years ago

A very interesting perspective! On one hand, I can't wait for my daughter to go back to school, but I'll have another 3 at home to keep me occupied :)

Lisa @ The Golden Spoons 2 years ago

I agree with all of these! However, after my day today, I think my joy on the first day of school Monday might trump them all. :-)

Shayla 2 years ago

#3 makes me want to quit school before my kids have even started. I have to do what? Love your face.

ThePioneerMom 2 years ago

Wow. My situation is almost exactly the same but with twin 4 year olds. The bossy 7 year old can be a big turd and it’s super hard to punish him, because it’s as if I was punishing myself, too. But we have to do it. Ugh!

Tanya 2 years ago

I don’t have to worry about the shoes. I can’t get my son to wear flip flops ever, even when we go swimming.

Menopausalmother 2 years ago

Oh Kristen, this post is FABULOUS!!! It actually brings back all those horrible memories I have from when my kids were in grade school. I do NOT miss this stuff. The other thing I hated about school starting—the endless list if expensive supplies that were mandatory to have in class and the mountains of forms that come home with your child the first day—my fingers aways cramped from having to sign so many papers!

Jenny 2 years ago

Suzy! I feel your pain. I have one who is a sophomore in college and my daughter is a senior. We’re having her headshots taken TOMORROW, and already I’m gazing at her toddler pictures and getting weepy.

I try to not be all granny like and dispense my “old mom” wisdom too much, but damn. It goes by in a heartbeat, doesn’t it? I’m jealous that you have an 8 year old. My baby is 13 and God help both of us, I’m squeezing every last bit of childhood out of him.

Thanks for your commiseration :) And good luck this year! The senior year of high school is a freaking weepfest…JUST WAIT TIL GRADUATION.

Tamsyn S. Pitceathly Angelini 2 years ago

I always enjoy the first six weeks of summer but then I'm ready for my hyper boy to go back. Yes, my 7 and 3 yo boys play together nicely but by the time most of the summer has passed and we've done every fun thing we can and had playdates, the 7 yo starts getting too bossy with the 3 yo and it's just miserable. We've gone out and he finds ways to harass his little bro while we're out, making me punish him by taking away outings, which feeds into a vicious circle of him terrorizing his brother. I'm ready for school but I understand why you aren't. :)

Suzie 2 years ago

I used to hate those old ladies who warned me to “enjoy every moment because it goes SO fast” but NOW I tell all of you LISTEN TO ME—IT GOES SOOOO FAST!!! My oldest will be a senior this year and I almost lost it when I took him to have his headshot done for the yearbook. It just can’t be possible. We thought we’d have this idyllic little summer together and he got a GIRLFRIEND! and then he was selected to go to some gifted summer camps for five weeks away at some colleges…we hardly saw him. One week at the beach together and he spent most of the time texting his girlfriend.

You never know how much time you really have “left” so to speak. I never despised summers together with him and I don’t mind school starting, either. His little brother is eight. I will definitely make more effort to slow down and enjoy even more because every cliché about time flying by is a bittersweet truth!

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Oh yeah. That’s pretty bad. Here they do these horrible coupon books. They’re THIRTY dollars. Who has that kind of money to blow on all their neighbor’s kids’ fundraisers???

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Awww. I love all these nice comments letting me know I’m not alone!

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

GREAT. Now I want a milkshake. Thanks a LOT.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

“one long Sunday night” … YES. That is the PERFECT description!

jane 2 years ago

Couldn’t agree more with this post. Amen.
School starts here on Monday and all of us are going to look like we are the zombie apocalypse.
And homework nights now instead of Sonic half-price shakes after 8:00.
Ugh, ugh, ugh.

grownandflown 2 years ago

I begin to get a bit sad on July 4 and August feels like one long Sunday night, as you see the end of summer is near. With older kids, it is not only “the schedules that get crazy” but it is the pressure on them too….I miss summer already and school hasn’t even started for us.

Motherunit 2 years ago

Cookie dough is not so bad. At least people want it. Watch out for those catalogs they come home with. Overpriced crap like a little tin containing about a dozen jellybeans for $8, or a cup of caramel corn in a bag for $7. Hard to sell, because everyone has seen these before and know that they’re a rip-off.

The absolute worst was when I was a child in catholic school. The Cleveland diocese put out a weekly newspaper called the Universe Bulletin. All of us catholic school kids were forced to sell subscriptions. Trouble was, if a family was catholic, they had kids of their own in a catholic school. There were way more kids than potential customers.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

With Lucas, it’s his tablet. But I use it as leverage; if he has a good day at school, he can still have some tablet time in the evenings. 😉

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

THAT IS AWESOME. Gonna go to your blog and follow you now. <3

Sharon Zadik 2 years ago

Your forgot the video game detox that goes along with the start of school. I can't wait. Your post is me to a tee! Loved it

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

We do uniforms, too. In a way it’s easier, because there’s no big school shopping trip and there’s no “deciding” on what to wear. But WHAT THE EFF WERE THEY THINKING MAKING LITTLE KIDS TUCK THEIR SHIRT IN AND WEAR A BELT. Everyone knows kids hate that!

HD 2 years ago

I secretly prayed for twins as well once I realized how unfunny my husband thought it was when I’d talk about it. Lo and behold, the ultrasound showed two little hearts. My husband went pale as a sheet, I cried tears of joy and have had fodder for blog postings out the wazoo.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

My phone calendar is already bursting at the seams, and I only have two kids. I don’t how people do it when they have a van full of kids. I bow down to them.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

I secretly prayed during each of my pregnancies that they would be twins. But like they always say: God only gives you what you can handle. 😉

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Nap? Read? Drink coffee while it’s still hot? Poop alone? The possibilities are ENDLESS.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

ME. TOO. Some days I just wanna hang it up. But we’re mommas, so we can’t. 😉

Tina Amorim Yates 2 years ago

our school just implemented school uniforms so I'm really not looking forward to that morning battle.

Ariana 2 years ago

ugghhh, I so agree. My 3 sons are now done with K-12, and I went through these feelings every single year for…a lot of years. Now I am dreading the 2 days per week I have to deal with my step-daughters schedules, pick up, drop off, soccer…or is it dance today? I love summer….

HD 2 years ago

This was my favorite line:
“Uh… well, I don’t have a snappy come-back for you. You’re absolutely right, I should totally do that. But I won’t, because I’m not that organized. So there.”

It hits home for me, pre-twin I was the picture of organization. Now I’m all, “What do you MEAN I missed PreK orientation?”

Melissa 2 years ago

My son starts preschool in September. Half of me wants to weep because he is growing up, the other half is already planning what I’m going to do with those 9 childless hours each week (I’m thinking nap?) He is an early riser but I am not. I think it will be harder on me to get up & get him out the door!

Tamara Grand 2 years ago

Such a fun post! The morning routine is what kills me….

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Oh – YOU TOTALLY GET ME.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Next summer I will present this challenge to my son. I will do just about anything to have less laundry.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

We’re on week two. So far so good… Lucas loves his teacher so that is really helpful! =)

Barri 2 years ago

Just yesterday I was playing with my daughter and she said, “Rainbow Dash wouldn’t say that!”. So I feel your pain when it comes to the My Little Pony stuff. :)

Mom off meth 2 years ago

One of my boys wore the same shirt for two months. Wanted to set a record. I washed it when I could, but if he didnt stink, why not let him live the dream? Less laundry for me. That would never fly during school. I am dreading the schedule too. Ugh.

Anita @ Losing Austin 2 years ago

I’m so with you on this one- even though I work FT, so the alarm clock and schedule didn’t change for me, not having to get the kiddos up and at em and not making lunch and most importantly- not arguing about homework!- made me not ready. But now we’re in week 3 and I’m settling in. I guess.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

THAT is hilarious. My boy is a bit squeamish about that kind of stuff. THANK GOD. lol

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

That’s what I hear. But I truly dread putting my youngest in kindergarten. Mainly because she practically takes care of herself; at this very moment she’s coloring quietly by herself at the kitchen table.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Oh… the changes never stop. I’m having uterus issues now. And one morning I woke up with a new wrinkle on the side of my mouth, a really big one. Like a dimple, except not adorable. It just appeared, and NEVER WENT AWAY.

The changes will keep coming; brace yourself. 😉

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

I just don’t do them. I volunteer. I seriously would just write them a check though, if they would stop sending all that shit home with my kid. Giant tubs of cookie-dough? Right before the gluttonous holiday-season? WTF. NO THANKS.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Oh wow. Yes, I think about that too, even though mine are little. I have this wonderful aunt who always reminds me how quickly their childhood will pass, and that I need to relish every second. She’s annoying sometimes… but I know she is 100% right!

Thanks for your support! <3

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

That’s what I keep hearing! But my kids are completely in love with each other; it’s borderline incestuous. I should probably stop saying that. It’s creepy.

Mercy 2 years ago

When my son dresses himself, he loves to just skip the underwear. I think he gets it from daddy, who does not wear underwear at home. (But is sure to when out.)

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Every now and then, I read people’s minds. It’s one of my superpowers. =)

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

We’re also in Florida! It’s still way too hot to justify total foot-enclosure. I’m with my kid on hating the shoes. Stupid rules. 😉

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

*an. jeez I can’t type today. wtf.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

That really is the worst part. There are mornings when I positively want to STRANGLE my kid for his lack of participation in the morning. It’s like trying to dress and angry, semi-comatose gorilla.

Denise 2 years ago

I hate crocs and flip flops, so wearing normal shoes is one thing I don’t have to worry about.

You wanna know what’s the best thing ever? Getting all the kids in school! It’s like mommy finally gets her vacation!

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

The ONE thing I like about school is the routine. We all function better on a routine, as much as I loathe to admit it!

Julie 2 years ago

Yes. This. This is the first year of kinder for my youngest, so not only all of this, but suddenly I’m thrust into a brand new phase of life and I have no idea what to do about it. I thought all the changes were over — I’m a mom now, they can’t surprise me anymore right? Wrong. :/ I’d give anything for another week.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 2 years ago

Oh yeah… I didn’t even think about the fact that I have to also put a little effort into self-maintenance into MYSELF! No more days of lying around bra-less for half the day…

Abby 2 years ago

Re: #9 – AMEN. I’m already having nightmares about those freaking fundraisers.

Jenny 2 years ago

Amen sister friend. I have all teenagers and still, a-freaking-men. I dread the beginning of the school year for pretty much all of these reasons. Especially the missing them part. Now that mine are getting so old, I know what’s coming and it makes me want to wrench each possible “moment” out of them now.

Congrats on the Scary Mommy gig!! Proud of you.

Heather @ Kraus House Mom 2 years ago

My kids have started fighting constantly, it’s time to go back.

Carrie 2 years ago

This whole post…it’s like you read my mind!!

Lawry 2 years ago

We survived day one of kindy with minimal gripes but the shoes are going over like a lead balloon..(we are in FL so flip flops are year round attire) he hates his cool 60 dollar sneakers on his feet!!!

Becky 2 years ago

I have been attempting a preemptive strike to get my manlette ready for the school year, but it hasn’t gone as planned; he will be fine, I’m sure; he adjusts better than me at most things. I am still not looking forward to the daily dose of hairy eyebrow at 6:30am! :)

rebecca at thisfineday 2 years ago

My oldest is about to enter kindergarden and I’m dreading ALL of this! Though I am looking forward to the peace school can bring. We’ve travelled a lot this summer and routine sounds amazing at times, but early mornings are going to kill me!! Hopefully I survive :-)

ThePioneerMom 2 years ago

Absolutely! My kids will also need to adjust from wearing either nothing, underwear, or bathing suits to real life clothes. Matter of fact, that means I need to change out of my PJs to bring them to school. Damn! Good luck, Mommas!!