Should You Pay Your Teen For Good Grades?

Getting into college is competitive; scholarships are even more so. Parents want the best for their kids. So it comes as no surprise that Reddit’s r/Parenting is flooded with posts all asking a similar question: should you pay your kids for getting good grades? If parenting forums are to be believed, this question has been asked for literal years (and probably since before Reddit existed):

“Does anyone here think that paying kids for good grades is a good idea?” Five years ago. “How much do you pay kids for grades?” Eight months ago. “Do you give your child money for good grades?” Two years ago. “Thoughts on financial incentives for high grades?” Seven years ago. Yeah, this debate isn’t new...but it’s also far from settled.

The comments on all of these posts indicate that parents are split. Some do pay their kids and shared specifics about how much. “I give $50 per A but a C negates it…but to be fair my children are B students so an A is hard for them so it’s just an incentive to push them a little harder,” wrote one user. Another parent says they offer a financial incentive to make the honor roll, specifically. One mom said her children take seven subjects and receive $10 for As, $5 for Bs, and zero money for Cs and below, while another parent gives $5 per A and that’s that.

Many comments address the fact that we live in a capitalist society. As adults we are paid for our work. If school is a kid’s job, the comments argue, they should be paid to excel at it. “You will get a lot of parents saying this is terrible and your kid's job is to get good grades and that it shouldn't be paid. I don't get that. People with jobs get paid to do those jobs and people with good jobs get bonuses for doing extra good,” one user commented.

There are also plenty of responses saying paying kids for good grades is not only unfair, but actually setting them up to fail. Here’s what Redditors on the other side of this aisle had to say:

• “I'm not a fan. Some kids work their butts off for C grades, others make As without much effort. If I were going to pay for academic achievement, I’d prefer to pay for meeting process goals like submitting all assignments or something.”
• “I wouldn’t. School grades often only measure how good you are at a prescribed way of learning and are not necessarily reflective of effort. So many things contribute to your grade that are way beyond your control, so rewarding/‘punishing’ for grades seems deeply unfair to me.”
• “I used to pay my son for reading. I stopped because he was choosing what to read based on how much money he'd make instead of reading what he wanted to read.”
• “Research shows that extrinsic motivations (rewards) are actually detrimental to creating long-term habits and intrinsic motivation. People start expecting greater and greater rewards to achieve the same level of satisfaction or sense of accomplishment. Rewards can help with short-term motivation (e.g. beginning to potty train or starting a new healthy habit), but consider long term implications when you choose to use them as a parent and in what circumstances.”

One user made an excellent point: that grades aren’t just boxes to check, but real-time feedback from a teacher about how well you’re mastering a subject.

“Grades are checkpoints for knowledge. If you get an A, your teacher thinks you have covered the subject fantastically and can move on. F means you need to go back and work on it. And all in between.” The implication is that if your child sees learning the material well as the point of going to school, they’ll get an A and know their stuff. If the point is getting the A to get paid...is that what you want?

Should You Pay Your Kid For Good Grades? Experts Are Split Too.

If you’re wondering why this debate has raged on this long, well, it’s because everyone’s right in a way. Reward pathways in our brain are real and can be used to change behavior.

“As a parent you want to encourage the behavior that you want to see with feedback or rewards that your child values. Money, praise, special outings, a nice dinner, or whatever you do to encourage behavior — psychologically it is all the same,” says Erin Morris Miller, PhD, an educational psychologist who specializes in working with gifted children. “With teens, it is likely that they do not enjoy every single class or assignment. You want your teen to be willing to do something well, that they don't want to do, in order to receive money. This is a key life skill.”

Morris Miller is team adults-get-paid-to-work, so-too-should-kids. Not all experts agree with this, though.

“By paying teens for grades, you are teaching them to focus on outcomes rather than process. ‘Carrots,’ like cash, are effective motivators but only temporarily; they aren't sticky and don't reinforce intrinsic motivation or resilience. By focusing on effort and individualized markers of success, teens develop the skills necessary for long-term success. An A in Algebra today does not make for a happy, healthy, thriving 24-year-old,” says Cathy Chen, M.Ed, founder of Village Coaching, an executive function and college prep coaching service for teens.

To raise a child who is motivated to do well because they value learning, Chen says you have to consistently praise their effort over time.

“Parents should not reward good grades; they should reward the effort, character, and values a teen demonstrates when they do their best,” she says. “Giving your teen $100 or a new iPhone because you saw them working hard won't move the needle in the long term. Praising effort consistently over time will reap lasting behavioral change because identity — how we see ourselves — drives behavior.”

The one caveat is if your child is neurodivergent, she says. “These teens often need more rewards and consequences within a very specific structure tailored to their individual needs.”

This is one of those parenting debates that will likely never have a black-and-white answer. For kids, financial incentives for good grades just work. For others, it’s a temporary bandaid that won’t mean much long-term. What you decide to do comes down to your family’s values, really.