Ryan Reynolds is writing the book on parenting one hilarious tweet at a time
Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively are some of the most private celebrities out there. Sure, they’re still acting and making public appearances. But when it comes to their home lives? Well, they keep that stuff at home.
That’s why it’s so surprising to discover that Reynolds has been quietly writing a parenting manual and dropping it, 140 characters at a time, on Twitter. He and Lively are parents to two daughters — 2-year-old James and 5-month-old Ines — which obviously makes them complete experts at this stuff, because two kids that young is basically boot camp for child-rearing.
OK, maybe don’t take Reynolds’ parenting advice too seriously. But definitely have a laugh at his hilarious takes on diaper explosions, kid crafts, traveling with babies and watching little girls grow up way too fast.
Went to Disneyland because my daughter's obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) January 30, 2017
Damn it's hard letting your infant daughter go somewhere alone for the first time. I was a total mess dropping her off at Burning Man.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) September 7, 2016
My daughter's only 6 months old and already drawing. I'd hang it on the fridge but honestly, it's absolute garbage.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 19, 2015
After this morning's diaper, my daughter finally earned the teardrop tattoo on her face.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 14, 2016
This isn’t the first time Reynolds has offered parenting advice that cracked us all up. Just after his second daughter was born — and he was named one of GQ‘s Men of the Year — he released a video full of tips for the birth of a new baby. From the obvious — be in the room when it happens, Dad! — to the less so — don’t tip your imaginary top hat and tell your wife you’re “At your cervix” — it’s no wonder Reynolds’ Twitter advice is so great. He’s got this dad thing on lock.
My daughter just sneezed into my yawning mouth. Seemed really fucking pleased with herself. Joke's on her. She'll have to bury me someday.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) April 16, 2016
No matter which kids book I read to my screaming baby on an airplane, the moral of the story is always something about a vasectomy.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 7, 2016
I'm teaching my daughter that the sun goes down each night because it's mad at her. Probably gonna write a book on parenting at some point.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 5, 2015
Being a father is the single greatest feeling on earth. Not including those wonderful years I spent without a child, of course.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) July 22, 2016
Reynolds proved he was the greatest celeb dad of all time again during an appearance on Late Night with Seth Meyers, where he gave the single greatest piece of dad advice ever to fall from the lips of a man: “Just do the dirty work, man. You gotta do the diapers, you gotta do the middle of the night thing. I mean, your wife — a human being will exit your wife, so she’s done enough. Just change the diapers and do all that stuff.” Have truer words ever been spoken?
Got totally messed up on probiotics last night and digested the fuck out of dinner.
Having a kid doesn't stop this party train.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 28, 2015
Tinder isn't a babysitting app. Apologies to Crystal and Janine for the misunderstanding.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) August 19, 2016
What's better than a 12 hour drive with a screaming 1 year old? Not including hepatitis.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 2, 2016
Totally caved and tossed my daughter the keys to the car. She looked really happy as they bounced off her tiny infant face.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) June 12, 2016
Love writing nursery rhymes for my daughter. Her favorites are, "Sunshine-Cuddle-Time!" and "Everyone You Know Will Eventually Die."
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) November 11, 2015
The mobile above my daughter's crib is just a whole bunch of NuvaRings. So she remembers how lucky she is.
— Ryan Reynolds (@VancityReynolds) October 20, 2016
Now who’s turning them into a coffee table book?