Check on your friends with sexist, asshole husbands — there are a lot of them, and they are NOT okay
The confessional is full of wives venting about their husbands — normal, right? Sure, a lot of it is. Typical, relatable stuff. But some of these moms are married to some seriously, seriously sexist, misogynist assholes! Some of these guys expect their wives to play mommy to them and the kids, stay at home, cook, clean, micromanage everyone’s schedules, hand over paychecks, and have essentially zero control over their own finances and lives.
Are straight women okay? Whew. It sure doesn’t seem like it. Though these guys are total jerks, it’s hard not to feel for the women who are stuck with them for myriad reasons. Some of these confessions also shed some light on the fact that husbands don’t have to be “bad” partners or fathers to be sexist, and have that sexism take root inside the family structure and pollute it.
Confessional #25766088“I am so tired of having to stop right in the middle of doing something *I* enjoy - a craft, a book, a nap, a workout - just to make my H supper. I earn money too. I'm tired too. Where's MY dinner, you entitled, useless, selfish, sexist man child?”
Confessional #25530890“Years ago, made H promise that our marriage would not turn into his parents' marriage: FIL emotionally unavailable and a dismissive sexist to MIL, MIL covertly raging and clearly depressed. We get more like them every year. Already saving for divorce.”
Confessional #21698675“My fucker of a husband said I only call him out on shit when I’m on my period. I must be on the rag every week b/c I tell him to pick his trash up off the floor at least 2-3 times a week. Sexist douche. Wish I never married him!!”
A lot of women are married to men who support Trump. The fact that they remain married to these men knowing what they stand for…WHEW.
Confessional #25802764“The fact that my husband is voting for Trump makes me question our relationship.”
Confessional #25799278“watching debate w/dh who is a trump supporter and talk radio listener. so you see where this is headed. i keep my mouth shut and vote for the future of all of us and our kids. we need to heal this country.”
Confessional #25798304“faith is shaky. consider myself a progressive christian now. know what i have to do in november. but can't tell dh as he will go nuts if he knows i am not voting for trump again. realize my mistake now. hope we can fix this mess.”
Confessional #25794675“if i could i'd tell younger me that i did not need to be married to be worth something. it turned out ok for me, but i regret no job/education skills. stuck w/trump supporting bossy hubs. i give in to him as i'd be poor and nowhere to go. i make do.”
Confessional #25793258“secretly voting for change in november. cannot tell trump loving dh. i pretend so i don't get yelled at. we need a different direction in this country for our kids. going bankrupt for healthcare and education won't cut it anymore.”
Feeling stuck in a marriage with a sexist jerk can be isolating and terrifying. Some of these moms can’t leave because of financial reasons, some don’t want to leave because of the kids.
Confessional #15810366“H got a new job in the oil patch, pay is good, schedule is good (7days on and 7 off). What's NOT good is the red neck attitude he's getting from the guys up there! Every week he's home he acts more and more like a sexist pig and I'm starting to hate him.”
Confessional #25801905“My husband bullies me in arguments until he wins. I don’t know why I keep trying to stick up for myself. He just bulldozes me right over.”
Confessional #22175521“I only stay in my marriage for the money. We're not rich, but he supports the family well. Other than that he's a lying, cheating, closet misogynist.”
Confessional #25784552“There is not a single room in my house that has not been destroyed by kids and H. Marriage and motherhood are a trap to keep women too busy cleaning to be leaders.”
Several studies about sexism have found that men in heterosexual relationships who skew more on the sexist side tend to believe they have lower levels of power in their relationship, even if their partner disagreed. So yes, sexism is all about power — and always wanting more, whether they have it or not.
Confessional #1709062“DH is an awesome husband and dad. But his occasionally mild racist, selfish, sexist opinions and remarks drive me potty. It chips away at my respect for him and one day I fear I won't like him as a person at all anymore”
Confessional #1636749“I'm pregnant & went out with DH. Finally got home at 3:30 Am-DH demanded sex and when I said I was too tired he said I owed him. Always felt he was sexist and entitled. He said he was disappointed in me.”
“The link between men’s hostile sexism and aggression is well established, and it’s always been assumed that it’s about power,” says Emily Cross, a doctoral candidate at the University of Auckland in New Zealand and the lead author of the study. “What prior theory and research has not specified, however, is what exactly it is about power that accounts for this relationship.” Past theories have focused on sexist men’s general desire for power over women, regardless of how much power they already have in day-to-day life; Cross and her co-authors hypothesized instead that men’s feelings of powerlessness in their personal lives may be more to blame.
Now this is the kind of “sexism” we can all get behind:
Confessional #1716836“I realize it's sexist, but I strongly believe women are superior to men in almost every way. It baffles me why anyone would think otherwise.”