The truth is, most moms aren’t getting through this quarantine by making delicious baked goods and acquiring new hobbies. Most of us are yelling more than we ever have and throwing up middle fingers behind our spouse’s back. Plain and simple, moms are overstimulated, touched out, and our ears are ringing from hearing “Mom” 3,732 times a day. All we want during this quarantine is a little personal space … and for our spouses to stop annoying the shit out of us.
Most of us are dealing with being unexpectedly snatched out of our daily routines and trapped in our houses for months on end. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t sign up to spend every waking moment with my husband. And this inordinate amount of “together time” is making many of us annoyed at the mere existence of our spouses.
My family and I have been on some level of quarantine for almost 300 days now… 300 DAYS! This shit was supposed to last for two weeks. So to say that I am feeling a little stir crazy would be a drastic understatement. And even though we finally have a vaccine and there seems to be an end in sight, there are still many days of quarantine ahead of us.
I actually like my husband. I really do. We enjoy spending time with each other, even if we aren’t doing much of anything. But I have been spending more time with my husband this year than I ever have in the 20 years we have been together. And I can’t pretend like I have loved every minute of the time that we have been confined in this house. I will admit that I have daydreamed about karate chopping him in the Adam’s apple more than once or twice.
We had a month or so over the summer where we weren’t speaking to each other … well, I wasn’t really speaking to him. He was stressing out about not working and being sidelined on the couch with a couple of injuries. And I was stressing out trying to parent four kids and still manage our household without much help. I was fresh out of patience and on the verge of losing my shit. I was sure one of us was going to have to move out if our marriage was going to survive this pandemic.
Thankfully, he was able to return to work in September. And that set us on the path back to normal levels of annoyance. I mean, I love the man, but we definitely needed our space.
Frankly, no matter how happy you were as a couple prior to the pandemic, you have most likely reached a tipping point of annoyance during the pandemic. So if you have experienced a form of mild, moderate and maybe even extreme hatred of your husband … join the club. There is nothing that will test your marriage more than being up under each other 24/7. And 2020 has been the year to challenge the strength of every marriage on this planet. Even the normally enviable ones.
With one post in a private mom group on Facebook, I was flooded with husband grievances. Some were as simple as not being able to stand the sound of their husband breathing. And some were more complicated problems like concerns of depression and even some marriages coming to an end.
But for the most part, the complaints were about the everyday little things that we can usually ignore. One mom expressed that the sound of her spouse chewing made her not want to eat in the same room as him. Another mom stated that she was tired of finding little “gifts” of dirty socks and empty water bottles around the house. She shared that she may or may not have thrown one of said water bottles at him.
More than a few mommas complained that their spouses seem to be oblivious to when chaos ensues with the kids. They either magically disappeared or are scrolling on their phones apparently both blind and deaf to what is going on. And one momma said that it drives her nuts to hear her husband peacefully snoring while she lays awake anxiously reviewing her to-do lists.
Well, it’s these little things that you would normally ignore that can drive you right over the edge. They make you imagine what it would be like to stifle the smug snoring of your spouse with a pillow. And I am not encouraging accosting your life partner, with a pillow or any other item. I am merely suggesting that you are not the only one who has had the thought cross your mind.
Most of us have not had the luxury of allowing absence to make the heart grow fonder. It’s no wonder everyone is ready to bite their spouse’s head off after months and months of being confined to the house with no breaks. These are stressful times.
I know many people are dealing with much bigger problems. And this must sound really petty right now if you are questioning where your next meal is coming from. But that doesn’t invalidate those that just need to air out some minor grievances so that we don’t explode. Or maybe implode is the better word choice in this scenario.
If you find yourself rage cleaning while your husband hides in the bathroom for an hour-long crap (his third in one day), know that you are not alone. All of us are trying our best to deal with dramatic changes in daily routines and lack of personal space. Not to mention loss of employment, financial issues, mental health challenges and so much more. So count yourself among the lucky few if your marriage isn’t being tested on some level while being locked in your house with your spouse 24/7,