No, it’s not a joke — Starbucks has been accused of promoting a ‘gay agenda’
Every year, Starbucks releases a holiday-themed design for their coffee cups. Seems innocent enough, right? Commercialism is rife with holiday pandering, because DUH. So when Starbucks released their 2017 holiday design earlier this month via an adorable animated cartoon with the message that Starbucks is for “everyone,” people everywhere united in their love for all things holiday and coffee. Right?
HAHAHAHA. No, of course not. Because this is 2017, Year Of All Things Bad, so naturally someone had to take a giant, inclusivity-hating dump all over Starbucks’ holiday cup. Because it wouldn’t be the holiday season if people weren’t clutching their pearls over a coffee cup — remember 2015? First it was Keurig, now it’s Starbucks. Go figure.
Right-wing conservatives are mad that the cartoon implies Starbucks serves customers who may or may not be gay. THE NERVE.
The video features diverse pairings of Starbucks customers enjoying — what else — the world’s most popular coffee during the holiday season. There is even a glimpse of two female characters who are holding hands. The cup itself features a pair of hands. Hands are typically pretty gender neutral-looking, especially in cartoon sketch form.
What is happening? Are we in The Upside Down? THEY ARE HANDS. And who cares if they’re the hands of people who are gay/bi/transgender? Well bigots do, apparently. Thankfully we have Twitter to help us solve the true mystery: why would anyone get this upset about Starbucks cups?
Wow. @Starbucks has a holiday cup with gender neutral cartoon holding hands. Conservatives scream. A pedophile runs for senate. Conservatives shrug. Cartoons matter more than actual children to culture war conservatives.
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) November 20, 2017
Oh, right. That’s who gets mad about Starbucks cups.
"Starbucks cups are pushing the gay agenda!"
Honey it doesn't matter what cup your drink goes in. I push the gay agenda every time my queer ass makes your beverage.
— Krombopulos Michael (@phvntomlimb) November 20, 2017
Gotta love these people getting all up in arms over perceived gay content on the new Starbucks holiday cups as if their logo hasn't been a whimsical and sassy mermaid this entire time.
— Michael Varrati (@MichaelVarrati) November 20, 2017
Imagine being so fragile that the Starbucks winter cup design is your number one issue with the world right now.
— Cecil Baldwin (@CecilBaldwinIII) November 17, 2017
Seriously, though. Where can I sign up for that brand of ignorant bliss privilege?
I’ve imagined what the rest of that Starbucks cup looks like and it’s DISGUSTING, shame on Starbucks! pic.twitter.com/7LKroZ5FDJ
— Pixelated “Pixelated Boat” Boat (@pixelatedboat) November 17, 2017
It’s OK to LOL at Hitler in this form and this form only.
— Jen Sabella (@jensabella) November 17, 2017
I'm gonna go ahead and say it: yes, the Starbucks cup hands are lesbian hands. We all agreed at the last lesbian agenda meeting, and Max and Ryann were the models. All proceeds from the cups will go toward making your college age daughters fall in love with their roommates
— Louisa (@LouisatheLast) November 18, 2017
2018 Starbucks Christmas cup preview pic.twitter.com/HWbS1LwJ4f
— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) November 17, 2017
IF THE STARBUCKS CUP DOES NOT VIVIDLY AND UPSETTINGLY DISPLAY MARY GIVING BIRTH TO CHRIST I WILL THROW MY KEURIG MACHINE INTO TRAFFIC
IF THE STARBUCKS CUP DOES NOT VIVIDLY AND UPSETTINGLY DISPLAY MARY GIVING BIRTH TO CHRIST I WILL THROW MY KEURIG MACHINE INTO TRAFFIC— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) November 21, 2017