The Curse of the Light Sleeping Mother

My mission last night was to go to bed early. Simple enough, yes?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

8:28 Lie down in Evan’s bed. Read him stories and stay until he’s almost asleep. Debate just falling asleep with him.

8:49 Decide against falling asleep with him and get up to put Ben to bed.

9:01 Convince Ben to sleep in his own room. The two of us aren’t actually supposed to be roommates, Benjamin. Lie down with him. Ben wants to talk. Ben wants to read. Ben wants to play. Ben wants to make shadow puppets. Debate just falling asleep with him.

9:38 Ben finally asleep.

9:40 Tuck Lily in.

10:21 My bed. Hallelujah.

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10:24 Jeff to bed.

10:41 Jeff snoring.

10:46 Evan coughing.

10:48 Jeff snoring LOUDLY. Jeff denies snoring. Jeff can’t hear snoring because Jeff can sleep through anything.

10:52 Jeff yelling because he was kicked in the shin during my attempt to stop his snoring.

10:54 Relocate to Evan’s bed. No snoring, no coughing.

11:00 Lily coughing.

11:07 Jeff snoring from across the hall. It’s that loud.

11:14 Evan sneezing.

11:30 Move to guest bed. Quiet. Finally.

11:48 Dog barking. Car alarm. Wind.

11:15 Couch. Computer. Facebook. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

1:31 Evan coughing. Evan whining. Move to his room.

1:32 Toilet flushing.

1:37 Ben calling for me. Ben to Evan’s room. Ben on top of me due to lack of space in twin bed.

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1:42 My bed. Jeff still snoring. Jeff huffing and puffing after being punched in the arm.

1:43 Move to Ben’s empty bed. Note the faint smell of pee.

3:08 Evan cries. Finds me in Ben’s room. Lies on my face.

4:12 Penelope pacing. House settling. Evan playing with my hair.

5:50 Jeff’s alarm.

5:55 Jeff’s alarm.

6:00 Jeff’s alarm.

6:05 Jeff’s alarm.

6:10 Jeff’s alarm.

6:14 Evan wants breakfast.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

And I wonder why I’m always tired.

About the writer

@scarymommy

In addition to being the founder of all things Scary Mommy, Jill is also the New York Times bestselling author of Simon and Schuster’s Confessions of A Scary Mommy and Motherhood Comes Naturally (And Other Vicious Lies)

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Herchel S 2 years ago

Sounds like my house lol but it’s my alarm that goes off over and over again. I have a tiny snooze problem

Maura 3 years ago

How much do you want to bet that Jeff bitched and complained to his wife how tired he was that morning and how he didn’t get enough sleep?

Jessica Smock 3 years ago

I’m a big fan of guest rooms and ear plugs. Essential coping devices for light sleepers. I’ve become an insanely light sleeper too. It’s gotten better — now when my toddler cries and I’m much better at telling my husband to deal with it and going back to sleep — but when my son was an infant, I suddenly developed supersonic hearing and movement detection abilities. I would even wake up when the dog passed gas.

SaraMommy 3 years ago

I’ve become such a light sleeper too…thankfully 1 Tyelnol PM helps me into a deeper sleep!

lej 3 years ago

Ear plugs!!
You can still hear but is just a little softer. I live in an apartment building with young people living above me who smoke pot and have sex all damn day and night ….I use and love my ear plugs…its the only way to survive. And look online not in store for the best pair.

Mercy 3 years ago

I haven’t had a night that active in a while but I know them well. My youngest (19 mo.) has just started sleeping through the night; the older two still wake often, mainly to move to my bed. :)

Kristen Mae 3 years ago

I’m so glad you re-posted this; I didn’t see it the first time around. Freakin’ hilarious especially the part about the husband snoring. My husband finally dropped 15 lbs and the snoring stopped THANK YOU JESUS. My daughter just woke up crying about 15 minutes ago. Many times I don’t go to bed till midnight or 1 because I know it’s going to be such a fight that I might as well not even bother. :/

Kat 3 years ago

Wow, one of the biggest rules in my home is that everybody has their own bed and everybody sleeps in their own bed. Once in a while, when my kids were smaller, I would let one of them creep into my bed after a bad dream or if they didn’t feel well but it was rare. This rule was for their own safety – momma is definitely a Scary Mommy when she doesn’t get her sleep! My ex-husband was a snorer but….well, he’s my ex now so problem solved, lol!

Kristi H 3 years ago

Get your husband some breathe right strips or a sleep study. Both work. Will keep him from waking the kids and you. Kids are gonna sleep in your bed, get a bigger bed, biggest king size they make. Then add cots or baby mattresses by the side of the bed. They will leave eventually. No one goes to college sleeping with mom. Its not a character flaw to have your kids close by. Its about convenience and comfort. Get waterproof mattress pads. Time flies, it’ll be over too soon and they will be gone. Nap a lot.

Motherhood on the Rocks 3 years ago

huh? What? What does that word “sleep” mean?

Michelle Ristuccia 3 years ago

It never ends. My mother was telling me today that she couldn’t sleep the other night because she heard her fully grown daughter puttering around in the next room!

Jessica 4 years ago

ohmigod this made me laugh so hard. I recently realized my 8 month olds baby monitor was waking me up frequently with every little noise she made, so i turned it off and slept better. DH (who sleeps like a rock) was not happy to know i did that. I reasoned with him if somethings really wrong she will be loud enough to wake me up.

MomofTwoUnderFour 4 years ago

Seriously, this is my life. Fuck. Yet my husband sleeps, snores (I physically roll him over onto his back or stomach and I even “accidentally” shoved him out of the bed) and his alarm… Why does he have it? I end up turning it off after five to seven snoozes and have even let him sleep past important appointments because I was so sick of seeing him sleep after a particularly sleepless night: revenge! I think I will try the breathe rights for him. My eldest sleeps well thank God but I’m still waiting on the day where my youngest doesn’t wake up. Eight hours of consecutive sleep? I think that’s what I will ask for for Christmas. Speaking of alarms, there it goes! I love them but I truly miss sleep.

Momster 4 years ago

And then the next night you say “Tonight I’m going to bed early…” Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

rebecca 4 years ago

omg this is so my life! i thought i was the only one

Amy 4 years ago

I have two words for you… ear plugs. My hubby is a miserable snorer. After years of lying awake or worse yet, being awakened by all the racket, I decided to give earplugs a try. I keep a set next to the bed and when the snoring begins, I just pop them in. They have changed my life.

The other added benefit is that because of the ear plugs, I don’t always hear my son if he calls out in the night. My hubby has been forced to lift himself out of his dead-like slumber and split nighttime duties with me.

LolaViajera 4 years ago

Scary Mommy keep on writing !!!

LolaViajera 4 years ago

Thank you kindly for those words ! Im 25, I only have one baby, a newborn, not even 2 months old yet and my hubby doesnt snore that loud but still Im wondering if I’ll survive. Hats off to you ladies ! Cause motherhood is crazy/beautiful ! I dont know how my mother did it with 4 kids, I love her today more than ever. If she EVER had a struggle we never notice. Same with my dad ! And Im also very proud that they’re still married, cause its NOT easy.

MC 4 years ago

Does EVERY husband’s alarm go off a thousand times? OMG!

2byC 4 years ago

Take some melatonin then pull the “I can’t hear anything, I’m sleeping” move. Has worked for men for years. I’m glad I’m not the only light sleeper….

Iva @ This Side of Perfect 4 years ago

It gets better. My daughter didn’t start sleeping through the night until she was 6, but now, three years later, both she and her brother (13) sleep through the night. But oh, how I remember those years!

Gina 4 years ago

I am so there with you!! Every night I say that it’s gonna get easy, but nope!!! Another thing most parents don’t tell new moms…lol!!

Crystal 4 years ago

For the longest time, my husband would sleep on the couch because he said our bed was uncomfortable. I got used to sleeping by myself. Now we have a new bed so he sleeps in it with me. And oh my god his breathing annoys me so bad! So glad I’m not the only one this happens to :)

Tiffini S. 4 years ago

As I am reading this, my three year old (who followed me to the couch after laying in his own bed for two hours) is pulling my hair and/or trying to choke me simultaneously. He cannot sleep well unless he has his hands around my neck. I am 5 months pregnant with twins, and they like to get active around 2am. The churning in my tummy makes me nauseous. My husband works third shift, so on weekends, I have to sleep on the couch to get around his snoring. I would probably kill someone to just take a nice big swig of Nyquil and pass out for 8 glorious hours. And men wonder why we hate them so…

Jessimax 4 years ago

My husband does the same thing with his alarm only longer, he will set his alarm an hour before he has to get up and it goes every 10 minutes. Why is it I need only 1 alarm to get up? ( that alarm sounds alot like a crying baby these days though)

Hope 4 years ago

I LOVE it! So much like the week ive had (with my 4 children and snoring husband!) My favorite part though had got to be the Jeffs alarm part. Do all husbands do this! Well mine does (and eventually it wakes up the kids!) after me having about 2 hours of sleep….if i was lucky :)

PsychoMom 4 years ago

Sometimes I pinch my husband’s nose closed until he wakes up or I kick him.

bluegingham 4 years ago

Laugh out loud funny. Whoever said reality is better than any imagined fiction had it absolutely right! Hang in there mom…

Lori 5 years ago

3 words: Breathe.Right.Strips.

amazing.

hold him down and strap one across his nostrils. i promise, you will be able to sleep better 😉

Erica 5 years ago

Good to know I’m not the only one that hears EVERYTHING and therefore “sleeps” an average of 4 hours per night…love the blog, thanks for sharing!

Tiaras & Tantrums 5 years ago

holy flipping hell – I thought I was the only miserable one!! My nights are identical – except I can’t touch my hubs or he WILL FREAK OUT ON ME – then we will have a huge fight !!! Here’s a pointer: purchase a sleep machine!

jill 5 years ago

oh man oh man- that souds like a lot of my nights! Why are people CONVINCED they don’t snore… if they are asleep suring the alleged snoring?!?! lol

Melissa E. 5 years ago

I just kick the snoring husband every time he snores, until he turns over. Seems to work okay. That and I wear very secure earplugs. It’s my husband’s job to get up if our two year old wakes up, so I can sleep blissfully. I would highly recommend both the kicking and the earplugs. :)

Melanie @ Whimsical Creations 5 years ago

Ahhhh….coffee!

Angelika 5 years ago

You’re mom to an Evan too? :-)

I remember when I lived with my mother. I could close her door, close my door, and still be able to record her snoring on my 80’s boombox. That was the only way I could prove to her how loud she snored, LOL.

NOW, however, I am getting that message from my Evan, LOL. I fell asleep at my mother’s yesterday and they both WENT OUTSIDE TO HAVE A SNOWBALL FIGHT rather than listen to me snore.

Oh well, I had a nice nap, LOL.

Bella 5 years ago

My three year old still won’t sleep through the night, I have a pit bull puppy that whines all night, my husband sounds like a helicopter when he sleeps and his alarms (note the plural) ALWAYS wake me up when he gets up at 4am. I know just how you feel.

Erin 5 years ago

This is the story of my sleeping life or…non-sleeping life
I think the lack of sleep is what makes you so fabulous!!!!!

Hans 5 years ago

Wow, how can you manage that? I suggest using earpieces so you can sleep through everything.

However, your alarm must be loud enough for you to wake up 😉

MomJonz 5 years ago

Here’s something for the snoring. I remember my mom’s past boyfriend (deceased) said my mom denied snoring. So, one day while she was taking a nap we recorded her. Yes, with a cassette tape; you know that was hip when we were kids. lol. It was the funniest thing ever. She could no longer deny it. A few days later we recorded her boyfriend. I have my husband snoring recorded to my phone; video and all. So when he wakes up complaining why I kicked and punched him I remind him of the evidence. 😉

Rachel {at} Mommy Needs a Vacation 5 years ago

Oh dear god. You need to go sleep in a fucking guest house or something. The garage perhaps?

Pamela 5 years ago

Guest room. Earplugs. You’re welcome.

angie 5 years ago

Oh boy.

Jeff stays up late watching TV, which is good because I can fall asleep in a QUIET room. I can usually squeeze in 4 good hours before the running down the hall, coughing, re-locating begins. THANK GOODNESS. Hoping you get the same. ONE of these days. :)

Sara 5 years ago

OMG! This sounds EXACTLY like my night, every night. And then, when I actually do get to sleep uninterrupted, I can’t. I am too used to being wakened at least every 2 hours. Argh!

SaucyB 5 years ago

My husband snores too. It’s to the point that I plot strategy to make sure that I’m in bed and asleep before he is so that it doesn’t wake me up.
I let him fall asleep on the couch and sneak upstairs and put our air purifier on so that when he comes up I’m already asleep and white noise should drown out the strange noises that escape him.
When it comes to sleep, every man/woman for themselves!

Alissa 5 years ago

My husband is new to the snoring thing and it’s killing me slowly. And, that damn alarm thing over and over and over again. I guess it’s good to know that I’m not alone. Someday I might throw it out the window though…

Liz @ Peace, Love & Guacamole 5 years ago

Oh wow. So so sorry. I’m a crazy light sleeper too…if it weren’t for the white noise machine on my nightstand I could hear the dogs farting two rooms away.

Kimmie 5 years ago

Death til us part – remember – beyond that it’s all gravy. Right. ;). Funny, nothing about sleep.

Moomser 5 years ago

Bizarrely this post made me feel so much better. Haven’t slept for more than three consecutive hours in three years. Whereas my husband has slept through most of my (two) labors, all manner of illnesses, mine his own and the kids’,the kids screaming, me screaming at him, and the house alarm (repeatedly). I’m comforted by the fact that I’m not alone! In fact, if anyone wants to chat at 3am… I’m usually awake.

Nina 5 years ago

Oh Jill! That sounds awful! (the snoring too). I have no idea how we managed this, but our kids are TERRIFIED to leave their rooms for anything but a bathroom trip. They sometimes call to us, obviously, but at least nobody is wandering into our room. I wish I had some tips. We just had good luck with scaredy cats.

Ginger 5 years ago

Good grief! I have one kid and my nights look like this…You need a “mom safe room”, methinks.

Mama Kat 5 years ago

This is awesome.

You need a guest house.

Lauralee Hensley 5 years ago

Yikes, just reading that made me exhausted.
Hey, I usually sleep in another room because the hubby snores and he has to have the TV on even when he’s sleeping.
I have to have perfect quite.
But I keep him awake too, because I’m a very restless sleeper due to always having pain issues. I’m up and down a lot to the bathroom too.
So it works out best when we don’t sleep in the same room so we can both get some rest. Well, he always gets more than me.

Kjersti 5 years ago

Me too!! Only I actually got to sleep from 3-5:30. Could it be the moon? That’s my excuse.

Lois 5 years ago

I totally get the husband snoring. I have the same problem if I go to bed after him. Thankfully, I tend to manage to sleep through the rest of the night time noise in our house, unless the dog starts barking. But that’s another adventure.

Ally 5 years ago

Oh honey, you deserve two nights completely alone in a hotel room. By yourself alone. All alone. It takes one night to get comfortable sleeping alone and hearing hotel noises. The second night? Bliss.

Megan (Best of Fates) 5 years ago

I shall cherish every second of easily come-by sleep. And I shall do it in your honor.

So you’ll have proxy sleep – that counts, right?

Maija @ Maija’s Mommy Moments 5 years ago

This is me. This is my life. Thank God for coffee!!!

From Belgium 5 years ago

About the snoring : may I suggest taping it (video, phone, whatever,…) and playing it to him in the morning. That usually stops the ‘I don’t snore comments’.

Yana 5 years ago

this made me laugh so hard…as i am up at 2:45am reading this because of the dog and the husband.

Glamamom 5 years ago

I’m sorry Jill. My huz is a light sleeper and it really takes its toll. I on the other hand, could sleep in Grand Central. What about a glass of wine before bed?

Tom 5 years ago

I feel like you sometimes!! It;s great but very tired all the time.

Carrie 5 years ago

That’s hilarious. Not the part about you getting no sleep of course. Just the bits that kept you awake…family, gotta love em. -Carrie

Mariano 5 years ago

Wow. Totally know what that’s like. Though I am usually the one up late, and my wife usually has to hear the alarm. :) Also can’t tell you that I have fallen asleep while reading to my son. He’s snapped me on the head one or two times. He laughs it off.

Perpetual sleepiness! It’s the life for me!

Loukia 5 years ago

Oh man. I’m tired just reading that! But, in all honesty, I am just like you. Max? 5 hours of sleep a night. Now, my husband and I haven’t slept in the same bed in over 3 years. I KNOW. Dimitry still sleeps with me and even though he has a big bed in his room now, I don’t move him to his room after he falls asleep because he’s too… cute! And so hubs sleeps with Christos, in his big big bed. Anyway, both boys wake up throughout the night, and I run up to them each time they make a noise. Sigh. And don’t get me started on the amount of Caillou Dimitry HAS TO watch before he falls asleep! I have SUCH bad bedtime habits/routines! I need Nanny 911!

gossip mom 5 years ago

Every night is like that in my home also.

Rebekah C 5 years ago

Ugh. UGH. I know this routine, it’s pretty damn familiar. Blugh.

gossip mom 5 years ago

Every night is like that around my house also.

Jeff 5 years ago

Well said. All of it.

Jack 5 years ago

I am proud of my ability to sleep anywhere, anytime and through anything. I believe that it is one of the blessings of fatherhood. Yes, a gift passed down via secret rites.

And the snoring, well let’s just say that I have woken up with a few bruises that were supposedly because someone couldn’t sleep.

I wouldn’t know because I was far too comfortable.

On a side note, I think that moms are programmed not to sleep deeply- that is nature’s way of helping to protect the kids.

Allison @ Alli ‘n Son 5 years ago

Gah, my husband snores like that too! All the kicking and punching in the world does not stop him. Putting a pillow over his head does, but I think that may be frowned up.

Denise B. 5 years ago

My husband is on a trip for the next 2 nights. Looking forward to peace and quiet (no snoring); however, child will be sleeping with me, and that’s a whole other problem (it’s reminiscent of when I was pregnant & she would decide to awaken & kick all night)! Daughter is 6, and I don’t think I’ve had a full night’s sleep since she was born…. Can’t imagine having 3.

D McP 5 years ago

I love it, I only have one child so far but can totally understand the husband thing! Fair cheered me up on a cold evening!

Galit Breen 5 years ago

Why yes. Yes, you *do* deserve a nap, dammit. Or at the very least an uninterrupted viewing of St. Elmo’s Fire!

Paige 5 years ago

I only have one kid, but between him, my snoring husband, two dogs and one cat, I never get any sleep either.

Colby 5 years ago

And here I am complaining that the dogs woke me up by staring at me at 4:30am. Your night sounds miserable. Maybe you need to go back to your old mattress so Jeff wont get such a good nights sleep. Tonight take 2 tylenol pm.

Alexandria 5 years ago

the light sleeping mother needs to pick a weekend, pack up and go to a hotel and leave deep sleeping snoring husband to deal.

Shannon 5 years ago

Before I had kids I could sleep through anything.

But now? Your night pretty much describes mine! Shane snores so loud, I can hear him from the living room, down the hall. With the TV on. And when I do go to bed, I’m constantly nudging/kicking/hitting him… it’s a wonder he doesn’t wake up to find bruises all down his legs.

And if it’s not him… it’s the kids. Getting up for a drink of water. Getting up to use the bathroom.

TheNextMartha 5 years ago

I can hear an unusual amount of noise from anywhere in my house. Sleeping is almost torture. I can hear if my kid coughs, a water drip and the sun come up.

Yuliya 5 years ago

Good grief are you serious?
You’ve talked me out of my plan to have hoards of children.
Thank you.
And I’m sorry.

CricketinMaine 5 years ago

You just need your own room…with a lock…and some accoustic tiles to soundproof… decorated your way… a ladycave! This is what I’ve needed for a very long time. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t given up my “marital” bed but it’s nice to have an oasis when all you need and want is quiet,rest,a little time out or just “me time”!

jojohedgehog 5 years ago

So very true and funny, I think it was during this period of my life that I found wine, or rather wine found me…

nic @mybottlesup 5 years ago

paul’s alarm has been placed (by yours truly) on the opposite side of the bedroom so that he has to physically get out of bed to turn the damn thing off. that causes him to actually BE AWAKE and not snooze. i got nothin for ya with regards to the snoring though… and if i did, i’d be using it on my own husband.

Kat 5 years ago

It really DOES get better …. when they move out. No seriously – before you realize it you will be back to a “normal” sleep and wonder how you could have doubted that you would survive.

Trust me – mine will be 25 tomorrow and the other 21 in April and I survived. You WILL too.

martini mama 5 years ago

Oh wow…and I thought i had it bad. I have found that I stay up til around 3am watching Netflix on my iPhone. I am on season 3 of “say yes to the dress” because i go through the snoring next to me. ugh… no it does not ever end!

Kim 5 years ago

Holy Moly, I’m exhausted after reading that! But, I’d be the same because I’m such a light sleeper. I’d go crazy if I didn’t have my white noise = it drowns out everything, even snoring.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

I am completely in awe of the places Jeff can fall asleep and the things he can sleep through. It’s amazing.

vanillasugar 5 years ago

good lord. girl make that plane reservation for march and go to the caribbean just by yourself–you need it!

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

The problem is that he’s such a deep sleeper he doesn’t feel any of my light nudges or gentle taps. By the time he feels it, I’m fully beating him up.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

One of the days we will do it.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

Camille’s dinner party. That was the silver lining.

Scary Mommy 5 years ago

See, I don’t get the snooze button. Once I’m up, I’m up.

Laura W. 5 years ago

Ugh. Snoring. It’s funny, the normal practice in most of the world is for the kids to sleep in their parents’ room or bed. That eliminates these kinds of problems…but of course you don’t get the benefits of privacy.

Amy 5 years ago

Sadly, this is all too familiar. I tried to give up coffee. What was I think?

JenniferG@Hip As I Wanna Be 5 years ago

I love this post. It vaguely reminds me of someone else’s life. Hmmm… But who’s? I give up. Can’t remember because I am so damn tired.

Dana 5 years ago

My goodness, I just wrote about my wheezy beast of a husband too.
Last night, I sought quiet in the cold basement and didn’t hear his snoring or the kids coughing and goddam if I didn’t sleep through the night. For the first time in forever. As rare an occurrence as the total lunar eclipse I slept through.

bdogmama 5 years ago

This is my life, except with one toddler, two dogs, a hubby and a baby on the way…

The funny thing is, on the rare occasion that I have the whole uninterrupted evening to myself (like, when I’m traveling for work), I’ve found that my body and sleep cycle have gotten USED TO this pattern and I STILL wake up now! I used to sleep like a rock…

zeghsy 5 years ago

Gee, I wake up from my own bad dreams or a cat jumping on me (he wants under the covers). I divorced the loud snore-er, the quiet one doesn’t wake me up unless she’s sick.

JulieBouf 5 years ago

Oh man! I was going to suggest “accidentally” kicking Jeff..that’s what I used to do (except not with Jeff) – but then I saw that you were already all over that. I am also a REALLY light sleeper. Since I was pregnant with my 5yo, my snorer must sleep in the guest room. I also sleep with an air purifier every night. And not the “whisper quiet” ones. I need the industrially loud one to battle all other noise.

KB 5 years ago

I so understand. Hubby snores so loud that you can hear him all the way down the hall and he will sleep through anything (including the very loud security alarm that went off one night because of a faulty contact). He claims he snores because he is so tired, but the man falls asleep anytime he sits still but will not go see the doctor about it. I admit that when he falls asleep in front of the TV I leave him there so I can steal at least a couple of hours of sleep before he comes to bed, LOL.

janelle 5 years ago

ha, it’s not just men. i’m a serial snooze button hitter. i’m afraid i’m teaching my kids bad alarm habits. :)

Sunday 5 years ago

Why didn’t we just get up at 3:00 and go get pancakes together?! I was up too!

Anna 5 years ago

Went to bed around 11, had to get up at 3am with 10 year old to see the Lunar Eclipes. Here’s the part that pissed me off, we couldn’t see the damn moon because it was too cloudy also, it was very windy and cold. This was a school project. When I finally got back to sleep the alarm when off at 5am.

How Does She Do It Mom 5 years ago

I got to 11:15 and was already feeling tired for you!! My daughter woke up 6 times last night with “bad dreams, I want water, I can’t remember how to sleep and coughing” and I thought that was bad….

You need to invoke Scary Mommy nap time! :)

Jennifer 5 years ago

Yes, all of that. I’m not sure how I manage to get through life on a daily basis with the small amount of sleep I get. And you need to invest in some kind of white noise machine for every bedroom in your house. It really does help.

Marinka 5 years ago

Which Beverly Hills episode was it?

Alicia 5 years ago

Oh I feel for you! Is this what I have to look forward to with kids and babies?

Please send help!

Gigi 5 years ago

I know this story very well. Especially the part about the snoring husband.

Jen 5 years ago

I do believe that I have lived this night. Thank God for coffee.

Jen 5 years ago

Sounds about right. Note that I didn’t say it sounded “good”. 😉

Been there; we all survive, somehow.

Raquel 5 years ago

Ha Ha This is so true. I love how you went from kids and car alarms to random ish like the Housewives of Beverly Hills. And I also can relate to Jeff’s alarm,, Jeff’s alarm, Jeff’s alarm. Why is it that men cannot hear their own alarm clocks?

Life with Kaishon 5 years ago

Oh my goodness. That is the WORST Jill. Serious craziness. Just glad you could catch some of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in the midst of all of that! I mean, if anything can make your life seem better it is watching those girls in their zillion dollar houses with their botox out the wazoo!

Wishing you the most wonderful winter break with your snorer, your cougher, your roomate and your princess : )

Laura 5 years ago

phew… ok… i’m a nanny now and sometimes it makes me wonder lol

Lynn MacDonald 5 years ago

Wow….I NEVER ever slept in a kids bed…occasionally one slept in mine. I feel bad for you…I DO wake my husband up if he’s snoring and yell at him. I have a guest room if you’re interested…does NOT come with kids attached. Just saying…

sandyj 5 years ago

Someone else in the family snores but denies it. So I taped him snoring with the Dragon app. Then I emailed it to him. Then he could not erase it so it kept coming up on his Blackberry, spontaneously.
How about your own room [soundproof] , with a lock?

Jessica 5 years ago

Absolutely miserable! I must admit, I have had permanent bags under my eyes since pregnancy insomnia which was over 3 years ago! I thought it would change when my hormones were back to normal…nope! Still not enough sleep!

Marcela Shine 5 years ago

Laura: BUT YOU WILL! And you’ll look back and in wonder at how fast it goes. Our baby had a hard time adjusting to sleeping through the night but now I miss holding him at those hours!

GREAT article. That husband alarm thing is all too familiar.

Varda (SquashedMom) 5 years ago

Wow, you have just described life in my house to a T. I feel for you, sister.

Although I can sleep through snoring, having grown up with a pair of heavy snoring parents, I am inured to that. But my Ethan is just like your Ben – can’t fall asleep on his own, gets all playful and chatty at 9 pm at night, often can’t get to sleep until 9:30… 10… 10:30… Sigh. And then my other one takes the early bus and has to be up at 5:45.

And my only time to blog, really? 2 AM.

Sleep? What is this sleep thing of which people speak?

tina 5 years ago

You are so funny. Glad I found you

Jen 5 years ago

God, it seems like you were at my house. Except my husband isn’t named Jeff.

By Word of Mouth 5 years ago

My husband travels a lot, I get more sleep when he is gone – his breathing can even annoy me when he’s here. I try telling him that he should feel good about that – it means no one else is sleeping there when he is not.
Also, I like to sleep naked when he is not there, if I sleep naked when he is home, he sees that as an invite – then I don’t get any sleep … please never share this information, he believes I have to sleep in pajama’s (else I can’t sleep)
Hope you get a nap (ha ha) xxx

Laura 5 years ago

i just cried a little. i will never survive motherhood.

Teri 5 years ago

You are not alone! I don’t think I’ve slept through the night in two years.

Christa 5 years ago

LOL! Perfect…it’s like you were at my house.