Mom explains why there’s no “easy” way of giving birth
Some people think having a c-section is “the easy way out” when it comes to giving birth. How about nope. Luckily, one mom summed up perfectly why there’s really no easy way when it comes to childbirth — regardless of how it goes down.
Sophie, the mom behind the Facebook page and blog Tired ‘N Tested, wrote a post about her own c-section — and why all births are hard births.
“This is my daughter’s very first photograph – bloody, furious, and taken just seconds after she was delivered via an emergency section,” she writes. “Destiny conspired against me – deciding my sixteen hour labour, along with 45 minutes of eye-popping pushing (which resulted only in the birth of the previous night’s sausage casserole) would not end in the natural delivery I had so desperately hoped for (shakes angry fist at birthing plan).”
Since her birth didn’t work out as planned, a friend who hasn’t given birth yet joked that when the time came, she might opt for “the easy way out” — aka, a c-section.
Sophie had some thoughts on that warped idea.
She acknowledges that it’s a widely believed misconception that a c-section saves a mom all kinds of pain and suffering which of course, is totally ridiculous. “Granted, if it’s planned you can eliminate contraction pains and a lot of the vomit/poo indignity that goes with a natural labour – but you still have to undergo major surgery… AWAKE (in most cases).”
YUP. Anyone who’s been through it understands that a c-section isn’t like having a mole removed. It’s major abdominal surgery involving a painful recovery.
In short, it’s no walk in the park.
Sophie writes, “Two people rummaging in your trunk as though they’ve lost their phone down the back of a sofa cushion, is unpleasant at best. And once it’s over, and you’ve gone through the horror of not being able to feel your legs for a couple of hours – what then?”
Well, a long and uncomfortable recovery where you’re also expected to care for a teeny infant.
“A section is also one of the few major operations you’ll have where less than 24 hours after going under the knife, you’re hurled out of bed and sent for a walk and a shower. You’ve got a child to look after woman, no time for laying around and feeling sorry for yourself.”
And aside from the physical aspect of a c-section, there’s the mental fallout that goes along with your original birth plan not happening. “The photograph with this post is now one of my favourites, but it didn’t used to be,” she shares. “It used to be a memento of my failings… a reminder that I hadn’t done things ‘properly.’”
She now realizes how “blooming ridiculous” the idea of a c-section not being a “proper” way to give birth truly is, but at the time, she felt differently. She says “there was a rational part of my brain saying, ‘It doesn’t matter how she arrived, she’s alive.’ However, there was also a louder non-rational part that harboured feelings of guilt and inferiority.”
Sophie tells Scary Mommy she’s had tons of reactions to her post from moms thanking her for talking about how hard c-sections are and for highlighting that it’s no “easy” option. She’s also received comments about vaginal births being equally difficult, which she doesn’t dispute. She says, “The whole point of the post was that one way wasn’t easier than the other.”
As for her advice to other c-section moms? “A section is not a failure, in most cases it’s a necessity but that doesn’t help with feelings of disappointment. It’s almost as though you’ve been robbed of something. However, a little way down the line you’ll come round to the fact the most important thing is your baby came out safe and well, and that’s all that matters really. You did do it properly.”
As the ending of her post sums up perfectly:
“Hate to be the bearer of bad news folks, but I’ve come to the conclusion there’s no easy way to birth… What goes up must come down, albeit nine months later and slightly heavier – there’s just no getting away from pain, scars, complications, and hefty dose of indignity… But if everyone comes out of it healthy, happy and alive – who really cares?”