You know that time your house needed painting and you were like, “Wait a second, I don’t need to pay someone thousands of dollars to paint my house! It’s just painting! I can do this!” So you buy all the paint and you get on your ladder and two months later you’ve got a half-painted house and exterminators are coming out because you’ve got a nest of carpenter ants in the walls and you find out that half your window sills are rotted and everything looks like crap and you realize that this project was a lot more complicated than you anticipated? Well, our president is like that, only about being the leader of the free world.
In a stunning and yet somehow not at all surprising interview with Reuters on Thursday, President Trump said the following about his first 100 days in office: “I loved my previous life. I had so many things going. This is more work than in my previous life. I thought it would be easier.”
Say what now? You thought that being President of the United States would be easier than living in a gaudy golden condo while occasionally firing off angry letters about your hands and firing Kate Gosselin from a pretend TV show? Somewhere, Hillary Clinton is punching holes in walls.
It shouldn’t surprise us that someone who has admitted not knowing much about NATO when he called it “obsolete” and discovered after a ten-minute history lecture from Chinese president Xi Jinping that dealing with North Korea is “not so easy” wouldn’t realize that being president is a difficult job. However, it’s still a breathtaking level of ignorance and conceit. But who else but a (self-described) billionaire who takes a shit on Edelman leather toilet seats and criticizes the bodies of beauty pageant winners would have the lack of self-awareness necessary to go into the presidency thinking it couldn’t be that hard?
In this must-read Reuters interview, Trump also expressed surprise at how little personal freedom he now has as president, saying, “You’re really into your own little cocoon, because you have such massive protection that you really can’t go anywhere.” I believe we have a kitesurfing, no-tie-wearing, vacationing with Oprah former president who is laughing his ass off with Michelle somewhere about that one. Trump also said he’s disappointed he “can’t drive anymore,” but he’s driven anything but a golf cart in the last thirty years, we’d be shocked.
The great patriots of Twitter had a few thoughts about this interview that we’d like to share:
"I thought this would be easier. I miss my old life." So said Trump. The dog 🐩 caught up with the fire truck 🚒 & has no idea how to drive it
— Martin O'Malley (@MartinOMalley) April 28, 2017
Millionaire-at-birth who just played golf 19 times in 99 days thought new job would be easier.
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 28, 2017
I said this about the fifth grade and my mom told me to stop whining. Anyway, he's the president now. https://t.co/wvN3747VDt
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) April 28, 2017
Last thing you want to hear before fading out under anesthesia: “I thought being a surgeon would be easier”
— Arianna Huffington (@ariannahuff) April 28, 2017
He's already taken nine vacations in three months.
How fuckin easy was his job before? https://t.co/rKDt7Kpgrt
— Mikel Jollett (@Mikel_Jollett) April 28, 2017
There’s one more thing about this interview, however, that you have to know: Trump handed out color copies of an electoral map that had what he called “the latest numbers” from the 2016 election. “It’s pretty good, right? The red is obviously us.”
I think I speak for most of America when I say, “For the love of everything sane and rational, Donald, enough already. Get a hold of yourself.”