A tweeted photo of unseasoned chicken breasts might make you lose your appetite
If there’s one thing a novice chef should learn how to master to make even the simplest of dishes taste great, it’s the art of properly seasoning your food. It’s definitely easy to over- or under-salt a dish, and we get that. But what’s not acceptable is to not even try. To leave the salt and pepper in their shakers, and to bake the saddest, blandest, unseasoned chicken the internet has ever seen.
That’s what Twitter user @corihealey’s boyfriend’s roommate did. She posted a photo of his attempt to cook some chicken, and it pretty much has the entire internet shook. You’ll see why in a minute.
Y’all wanna get upset by the lack of seasoning on my boyfriends roommates chicken with me pic.twitter.com/R72oHmAf3G
— uglyass noodle head (@corihealey) January 8, 2019
It is completely, utterly unseasoned. There is not one speck of anything tasty adorning those chicken breasts. It’s a crime against food, TBH, and I cry for whoever will eventually eat that dry, tasteless excuse for a lean protein.
I am DISTRAUGHT pic.twitter.com/NHh7DI7A3S— uglyass noodle head (@corihealey) January 8, 2019
It is distressing. It’s giving me food anxiety. Someone get me in front of an oven; I need to bake some olive-oil-drizzled, herb-rubbed, salted and peppered chicken breasts immediately to cleanse my eyeballs of this travesty.
And I’m not alone. Twitter had responses to the tweeted photo, and thankfully, the majority of people seem to understand why the idea of a completely plain, unseasoned chicken breast makes us all want to cry tears of lost appetites.
No foil to preserve the pan, no garlic powder, no season all, no lemon pepper, no salt & pepper and most importantly no love = flavor pic.twitter.com/ZBzQokJslA— ⛓𝖄𝖚𝖓𝖌 𝕮𝖊𝖓𝖔𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖊⛓ (@bernieoftexas) January 8, 2019
It’s horrifying it’s like watching Sponges bake— FattyAtomicMutant (@SpoilersSpoils) January 8, 2019
I'm almost comically white, and even I know that's not how you do chicken.— Madeline Hunter (@MadelineAndraia) January 8, 2019
You can do some wonderful things with stock and/or wine, honey, herbs and garlic.
I mean. Just. He couldn’t even have drizzled a little oil on the pan? It wouldn’t have been enough, but it would have been something.
i showed it to my family 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/6CemySVqY7— vanessa♡ (@vanessasvoicee) January 8, 2019
I can taste the sadness.— Jas Said What (@Pir8Tia) January 8, 2019
I thought these were sea conches. https://t.co/osr4ZfNowL— Baelienne™️ (@TheAquariusBIG) January 8, 2019
I’m convinced that’s just clay and this is some sort of sick joke— alex (@alexsnewname) January 8, 2019
No seasoning, no sauce, not even any butter. This is a crime against poultry.— Tariq Moustapha (@TheTariqM) January 8, 2019
Luckily, there’s probably hope for this chicken destroyer in the future. Thinking back, I probably wrecked a meal or 100 in my youth just by not knowing what I was doing. He still has time to learn.
When I was of an age to have housemates, that was cooking. Most of us grow out of it.— redactor (@jimpur887) January 8, 2019
If nothing else, at least this debacle is bringing together two sides of one of the biggest fights on the internet.
Vegans Meat eaters— kuriboo (@Shower_Capy) January 8, 2019
This bird died in vain https://t.co/86r0D8UNxs
RIP that poor chicken. It deserved not what it got. And RIP the tastebuds of all who ate it. May their futures be filled with poultry that’s salted to perfection so they may never relive this horror.